How to save a life
August 10 th , 2022
The past few days have been more than challenging for everybody. Lynn had tried to talk to Nate several times after his arrival but he ignored her. He wasn’t answering when she called him, he wasn’t opening the door when she knocked on it. The only reaction she got was when she threatened to open the door with her ID card and check on him.
“I’m okay. I need some time alone,” he had said through the closed door.
His voice had been more than rough, gravelly, and trembling with a huge amount of anger. Lynn wasn’t sure if Nate was able to assess his condition by himself but she didn’t want to upset him even further.
“I love you, Nate. You’re not alone. I’m here. If you want to talk, you know where to find me. I understand that you’re angry and hurt. You don’t have to go through those emotions alone, okay?” she answered, but Nate didn’t respond.
The next day Lynn was standing in front of his door again, asking him if he was okay. He gave her a short “I’m good”, but Lynn grew more and more impatient, hurt, angry, and confused. There were so many emotions inside her body .
She was so overwhelmed that tears started to fall the moment she turned around to head to the med-bay and do her job.
Marta saw her coming in her direction and was immediately concerned when she saw Lynn crying.
“What’s going on?” she asked, before opening her arms and engulfing the doctor in a hug.
Lynn sobbed into her shoulder, letting all the emotions out that had gathered in her body over the past few days.
“He’s not talking to me but I didn’t do anything wrong. It’s not my fault.”
“I know, sweetie. He’s being a dick. I was on my way to tell him exactly that.”
“What?!” Lynn stepped away from her and looked at her with shock on her face.
“Just kidding but I am indeed on my way to him. He hasn’t been to work for a few days. That’s unacceptable. He needs to work or I need to admonish him officially and I really don’t want to do that. I don’t want to draw any attention to him or Director Burns could get suspicious about his mental state,” Marta explained with a concerned frown on his face.
“Oh.”
Lynn wasn’t able to say anything else as her mind was going crazy about Nate getting confronted with his mental state in an official internal investigation or something. That would throw him so deep down his rabbit hole she was scared that nobody would ever be able to help him out of it again.
“I’ll do anything I can to avoid that but he needs to work. ”
“Go tell him that. Maybe he’ll listen to you if he’s not listening to Oliver or me,” Lynn sighed, the tears again on the brink of falling down.
“It’ll be alright.” Marta smiled at her, gave her another hug and left towards Nate’s room.
She knocked on his door loudly.
“Butch, if you don’t start to work again today, there’ll be legal consequences for you. I know it was a more than shitty idea to not tell you about the hide-out but keep it together and do your fucking job. Understood?”
To her surprise the door opened and a miserable-looking brunet man appeared in the doorframe.
“Understood. Where do you need me?”
“Oliver expects you down in the team’s office. Can you do that?”
“Yes, Ma’am,” Nate answered and closed the door in Marta’s face.
She hadn’t seen him that bad in a while. His hair was a mess on top of his head, his beard long and untrimmed, and the black bags under his eyes more than visible. With a loud sigh she turned around and saw that Lynn was still standing in the hallway, curiously listening to Marta’s conversation with her boyfriend. Marta was glad that from Lynn’s position it was impossible for her to see Nate because his appearance would have triggered her urge to help the Agent again.
“He’s going to work with Oliver. Don’t overdo it, okay? Let him have his space,” Marta said when she arrived back in front of the doctor.
“But… ”
“No buts. Give him a day to get settled again. Then you can talk to him. Trust me. It’s for the best.” Marta shot her another smile, before heading back to the elevator.
Lynn sighed loudly but continued her work in the med-bay as well.
Nate waited for the voices in the hallway to subside before he stepped out of his room and quickly jogged towards the elevators to get to the room where Oliver was waiting. He looked with sad eyes towards the automatic door of the med-bay but decided to go past it and head to Oliver. He wasn’t ready to face Lynn yet. Of course he knew that she had nothing to do with the whole situation, but the demons in his mind were loud at the moment. Telling him that nobody was trustworthy. Especially not Lynn, who had betrayed him once. She was anything but trustworthy.
With his demons screaming at him as if they were having a rock concert inside his mind, he entered the team’s office. Oliver sat on one of the desks, scrolling through something that Nate couldn’t see from his position. Peter and Eliana were nowhere to be seen which was weird because it was a Wednesday, which was usually a regular working day for them.
“Where’s the rest of the team?” he asked, leaning on the doorframe with a neutral face expression.
“Butch…” Oliver started but saw in the face of his friend that now was not the time to talk about the happenings in Iraq. So he swallowed the lump in his throat.
“They're on their way to the WPD headquarters, organizing how to make sure none of the attacks will happen. Marta will be with them on a call. I’m still here going through the translated communication logs of Atef’s phones. The SEALs sent them over yesterday.”
“What about Liam? Why isn’t he working on that instead. Sounds like one of his specialities?”
“Liam got Atef’s laptop yesterday. The SEALs are done with that, too. Haven’t found a single clue where and when the attacks will happen but Liam is optimistic that he’ll find something.”
“Sure he is. What can I do?” Nate asked, pushing himself off the door frame and walking to the desk next to Oliver’s.
“Butch, I…”
“What can I do, Oliver?”
The blond Agent sighed in defeat. There was no way he would be able to talk to his best friend today. The silence between them was more than uncomfortable, something that had never happened ever since he’d known Nate.
“I’m not even halfway through the communication log. I started at the beginning. You can start at the end and we’ll meet somewhere in the middle.”
“Understood.”
August 12 th , 2022
Of course Nate hadn’t talked to Lynn and she didn’t try to talk to him again. She was too scared to get rejected again. Her fragile little heart wouldn’t be able to take it again. Sleep had been a rare occurrence for her over the past few days so she tried to kickstart her body back to life with an unhealthy amount of coffee and energy drinks. Of course she knew that this wasn’t exactly how she should treat her body but there was no other way. The second pillow on her bed still smelled like Nate and she wasn’t even able to kick it out of her bed. No, she grabbed it in her arms and cried herself to sleep every night only to wake up an hour later because she smelled Nate and hoped he had returned to her. The cognition that it was only the pillow and not Nate made her cry herself to sleep again. And again. And again.
That morning she scuffled into the communal kitchen to get some breakfast and a big coffee into her system before she started her shift in the med-bay. Her eyes weren’t even fully open so she didn’t see the man already in the kitchen. Only when he turned around and looked at her with ocean-blue eyes, Lynn realized that it was Nate.
Her lips parted, her eyes suddenly as wide as they could be, but no sound left her mouth.
His gaze fixed with hers and he could see the tears in her eyes. The demons were screaming at him to look away, to ignore her, to go back to his room or down into the office where he was still working on the communication log.
But something inside him pulled him towards Lynn as if she was a magnet. Neither of them said a word but when Nate reached out his hand and carefully touched Lynn’s small fingers with his own, a warmth flooded his body like the sun on a summer day. The cracks in his heart started to heal the longer he held her fingers and for the first time in days he felt like himself again.
Nate Sheppard .
Both remained silent, too afraid to scare the other one off and lose them completely.
For an uncertain period of time they stood there, a female hand in a male one, looking in each other’s eyes, communicating without words.
“Have dinner with me tonight,” Lynn mouthed barely above a whisper.
“Okay.” His voice was rough, as if he hadn’t used it a lot in the last few days.
“I love you.” Her words were emphasized by tears streaming out of her eyes and a single sob.
“I love you, too.” His voice broke as if he didn’t believe his own words.
Lynn’s heart was heavy, confused, hurt. When he let go of her hand and stepped out of the communal kitchen without even taking his sandwich with him, she looked after him. Her mind was like a swirling storm, unsure what to think, what to feel but this had been a step in the right direction. She hoped.
Later that day, when her stomach was growling so loud that she couldn’t lay in her bed again and read, she stepped out into the hallway and towards Nate’s room. Her heart was full of hope. She was excited, she was happy. A normal dinner with the man she loved. Her boyfriend. Everything would be okay. She felt it in the pit of her stomach.
With three loud knocks she signaled to Nate that she was ready for dinner. A few seconds passed, but Nate didn’t open the door or shout that he was about to come .
“Nate? Are you in there? I’m hungry and ready for dinner,” she said through the closed door.
“I can’t. I’m sorry.” His voice could be heard through the door. It sounded still rough, as if he were crying.
“What do you mean? Should I come back later?”
“No. I’m not hungry.”
“Will you at least spend some time with me, while I eat?”
“No. I’m sorry. I can’t. This was a bad idea. Please leave me alone.”
“But Nate.”
“No. Please. Leave me alone.”
He was clearly crying. She heard his sobs between the words. Lynn was crying too. Mourning the evening she had been excited about for the entire day. Mourning her relationship that was about to burst into pieces. Mourning the love and happiness that this man had brought her. Until a week ago. Now all emotions when she thought about him were madness, sadness, and despair.
“I love you, okay?” She now sobbed herself but instead of an answer she could hear his loud cries through the door.
Her heart finally couldn’t stand the pressure anymore and burst into a billion pieces. She crashed down on her knees, the palms of her hands pressed into her face while she cried more than she had since her sister died.
Suddenly she felt big hands on her shoulders and hope inflamed in her body. Was Nate caring for her?
But when she looked up and expected the brunet man with the ocean-blue eyes, she got hurt all over again, when her eyes looked at Oliver kneeling next to her.
“What’s wrong, Lynn?” he asked, concerned .
His eyebrows were furrowed and she could see the shock shining in his eyes.
Instead of answering him she started to cry once more, collapsing into Oliver’s arms when the emotions took control over her body. Oliver turned his head around and looked helplessly for his girlfriend. They were meeting in the kitchen to cook but she wanted to get her notebook from her office first. The elevator doors opened and Marta stepped into the hallway. When she saw Oliver looking at her with a slight panic on his face she rushed to his side as quickly as possible. Together they pulled the still-crying Lynn to her feet and managed to get her onto one of the couches in the communal kitchen.
Marta engulfed her in a strong hug, letting the doctor cry on her shoulder until exhaustion hit her like a train and she fell asleep in Marta’s arms. Carefully Marta laid Lynn down on the couch, grabbed a blanket and placed it on top of her.
“What the hell was that?” Oliver asked after making sure Lynn was fast asleep.
“I have no idea. But I’m pretty sure she’ll tell us as soon as she’s awake. I’ve never seen her like this.”
Marta’s heart felt heavy and she forced herself to take a deep breath as she was shocked about Lynn’s breakdown. She stepped towards Oliver who already waited with open arms. He pulled her close, giving her the comfort and security of a tight hug to calm her nervous mind.
August 13 th , 2022
Lynn slept through the night and almost the entire morning. Marta had checked with Tia and Birdie that they could postpone the planned appointments with Agents to the afternoon. Oliver had watched over her like a mother hen, making sure everyone who entered the kitchen was quiet so that nobody woke her. He had his laptop with him, checking on the communication logs until he found something that could have been a hint on an attack. So he ran to the elevator to head to Liam Thomas and look at the log with him.
It was noon when Marta quickly ran into the communal kitchen and knelt in front of the still-sleeping Lynn. She took a deep breath and carefully shook Lynn’s shoulders.
“Lynn, sweetie. You have to wake up. We need you to treat a gunshot wound,” Marta said while still shaking Lynn’s shoulders.
The doctor’s eyes fluttered open and the moment the words “gunshot wound” reached her brain she was in work mode. Her eyes clear, she quickly rose into a sitting position and looked at Marta. The stains of her dried tears were still evident on her face but other than that she was fully functioning.
“What happened?” She asked.
“It’s a long story, I’ill tell you on our way to the interrogation cell.”
Marta rose to her feet and stepped aside so that Lynn could stand as well. The two women practically ran out of the kitchen and into the med-bay where Lynn grabbed her emergency pack before they sprinted to the elevators .
“Is it one of us?” Lynn asked during the way-too-long elevator ride.
Her heart was beating fast, anxiety rising in her body together with bile as she imagined treating one of her friends.
“No. We caught one of Atef’s men but he got shot in the shoulder while Oliver’s team secured him.”
“What?” Lynn looked at her with furrowed eyebrows. They had reached the level of the interrogation cells and were walking along a long and clean hallway.
“Oliver found something in Atef’s communication log this morning and Liam was able to locate one of his men in an apartment in Washington. Looks like they were planning an attack here soon,” Marta explained after they came to a halt in front of one of the interrogation cells.
“Okay, wow. When did that all happen?” Lynn looked at her watch and realized it was later than she had thought.
“Woaaaaah,” she added, looking at Marta in shock and slowly remembered what had happened yesterday.
“You needed a good sleep. Let’s talk about this later, okay. Abdul is already in there. Oliver, Butch, and I are waiting in the observation room. Turn around and look in the mirror if you need our help. Understood?”
“Yes, Marta. Thank you.”
Marta nodded at her and stepped towards the door next to the one Lynn was standing in front of. The doctor took a deep breath and saw her friend enter the observation room. Then she placed her ID card on the lock of the room, saw the light turn green and entered the interrogation cell .
The terrorist was sitting on a metal chair, his hands cuffed with a long chain to a ring in the middle of the table. This gave him a little range of movement without being able to attack any Agents that were interrogating him. His face was slightly furrowed in pain and Lynn saw immediately that the wound was bleeding more than she liked to see. How long had he been sitting there? Bleeding and in pain? He was still human after all.
“Hello. My name is Doctor Summers and I’m going to treat your wound.”
The man remained silent, only nodding slightly at the doctor. She placed the emergency pack on the floor next to him, pulled rubber gloves over her hands, and grabbed the stuff she needed. Then she stepped towards him.
“I need to cut the sleeve of your shirt to access the wound,” she explained to him and waited for his nod before she went to work on his wound. There was an exit wound on the back of his shoulder, which was good, but she still needed to stitch it together or he wouldn’t stop bleeding.
After explaining this to him, Lynn took her time and stitched the wounds on the front and the back of his shoulder. After she was done she placed dressings on top of both of the wounds.
“So, it’s all done. You’ll need to wear a sling for the next few days to prevent the wounds from opening up again. I don’t have one with me but I’ll bring you one. Okay?” She smiled at him.
The man placed his arm in a recovery position in front of his stomach, resting the hand right above the pocket of his pants .
Instead of smiling at Lynn he looked past her and right into the mirror. A smile appeared on his face and something shimmered behind his eyes.
Nate, who watched the interrogation cell intensely, suddenly had a very bad gut feeling.