Better half of me
March 28 th , 2023
“What do you think about a picnic tonight? Just you and me and a beautiful sunset?” Nate whispered in her ear. He had approached Lynn from behind, wrapped his arms around her middle, and pulled her close.
“That sounds wonderful, honey,” she giggled in response.
“I brought you French toast for breakfast. Just wanted to say hi to my very attractive girlfriend before I head down to the gym with Oliver.”
“French toast? You’re the best boyfriend ever!” Lynn exclaimed while turning around within his arms. She gave him an Eskimo kiss before connecting her lips with his.
“Try my best,” he responded between kisses.
“You’re doing good. Just keep going!” She smiled at him. Nate gave her a last kiss on her nose before he turned around and was about to leave the doctor’s office, when Lynn called his name one more time. Nate froze in the doorframe, turned his upper body and head a little, and looked at Lynn.
“I love you.”
“I love you more.”
With a very present smirk on his face Nate finally left the med-bay and jogged downstairs to the gym .
That morning she took as much time as possible to enjoy every bite of her breakfast and still wasn’t finished when Tia knocked on the door to check if she was ready to see her first patient.
“I’m coming.” She shoved the last big bite in her mouth, stood from her chair and followed Tia into examination room 1.
A few hours later Lynn was about to end her shift when she heard another knock on her doctor’s office.
“Come on in,” she shouted while hanging her white gown around the backrest of the office chair.
Her back was turned towards the door so she couldn’t see the person entering her office. When she turned around she saw someone hiding behind a huge bouquet of wildflowers. Similar to the one she got while still being a patient in her own med-bay but it was twice the size of the other one.
“Wow. What did I do to deserve such a huge bouquet of flowers?”
“Being the best doctor in the world, looking hotter than sriracha, having the most beautiful smile in the world, giving the best cuddles. I can continue that list if you want me to,” Nate answered with a little chuckle while holding the bouquet towards Lynn.
She carefully grabbed it out of his hands and finally saw the beautiful face of her boyfriend. He had shaved his beard, only a little stubble was left. His hair was cut as well and was now shorter but still long enough so that it curled a little at the end. He had some hair product in it because it looked extra fluffy today. All Lynn wanted to do was drive her fingers through it while plastering his face with kisses.
“I don’t know if we even have a big enough vase for this,” Lynn sighed but the moment she ended her sentence, Nate showed her his other hand that he had still hid behind his back.
It contained a big black vase that would definitely be big enough to contain the wildflowers.
“I know. That’s why I bought one as well.” He smiled at her.
“You’re the best!”
Nate left the room to fill the vase with water and when he returned he placed it on Lynn’s desk so that she could put the bouquet in it. The colorful wildflowers looked wonderful on the wooden desk and Lynn couldn’t stop looking at it with a smile on her face.
“It’s so beautiful,” she whispered.
Suddenly she realized that she hadn’t thanked Nate for the bouquet yet so she stepped around the desk to give her boyfriend a kiss. He welcomed her with his arms stretched out, grabbing her waist, and pulling her towards him impatiently.
“Thank you, honey,” she mouthed on his lips before closing the gap between them.
“You’re more than welcome. I know how much you love wildflowers.”
“Yes, because… ”
“…they're perfectly imperfect. I know, darling,” Nate ended the sentence for her before kissing her nose.
“And because wildflowers can grow even in the most deadly and chaotic surroundings. They're so strong that they’ll find a way to live even when all the circumstances tell them not to. I think that is beautiful,” she smiled at him.
They stepped away from each other and Lynn took her time to eyeball her boyfriend from head to toe. He was wearing a long sleeve black dress shirt that hugged his muscular upper body perfectly. He also wore matching dress pants that showed off his thighs and definitely highlighted the small bulge around his hips as well. She wasn’t sure if he realized what this did to her. Letting the heat between her legs appear just by checking him out.
“You look extremely handsome today, mister,” she commented after her eyes went back to his head.
She could see him smirk. He had noticed how she was checking him out and that her eyes had stayed a little longer on his manhood.
“Always trying to impress my girlfriend.”
“To be fair, you look good in anything.” Lynn chuckled.
“Even naked?”
“Especially naked.” They both laughed, before Lynn lowered her head to check her own clothes.
She realized that she was still wearing her navy-blue scrubs. Nate had seen her worried face expression, so he said,
“I’ve already picked out your outfit so quick stop at your room and then we need to go. It’s already 5:30 and the sun will set before 7. And we have to eat first,” Nate instructed while grabbing Lynn’s hand and gently pulling her out of the med-bay.
The doctor couldn’t stop smiling. She enjoyed seeing him spoil her so much. Ever since she was released from the med-bay he had been more than only supportive. He had been the best boyfriend ever and he had kept his promise and started seeing a therapist again.
With every session the betrayal was stored deeper in his brain, making him barely think about it anymore. He focused on the future, focused on being happy. It needed him to almost lose her for Nate to finally move on. Like Marta had screamed at him. She had been right. He needed that kick in the ass and he felt guilty that Lynn was always the one who had to suffer for it.
They entered Lynn’s room and the moment she saw the yellow sundress laying on the bed she exclaimed a loud “ohhhhh”.
The dress was almost floor length so that Lynn was able to move freely in it. It had a closed neckline, with some tiny buttons on front that went down to right over her breasts. Its color was almost like mustard. It had some cords around the waist so she could make it fit for her body, separating the dress in an upper and lower part.
“It’s beautiful,” she mouthed, grabbing the dress from the bed and holding it in front of her body while looking in the mirror.
“I hope you like the color. It’s nothing usual, but I thought you would look amazing in it.” Nate stepped behind her and placed a few tender kisses along her exposed neck.
“Let me get off my scrubs and change into it. ”
Lynn was excited to wear the dress. Excited to see if she looked as good as Nate expected her to do. She opened the buttons and shoved it over her head, tightening the cord around her waist when it sat in place. She started closing the buttons, but Nate stepped right in front of her and gently brushed her hands away. He started fastening the buttons, beginning right over her breasts.
“I have dejá vú,” Lynn laughed, remembering the time she had injured her shoulder and Nate helped her to get dressed.
“Me too,” Nate mouthed while he closed the last one. He placed his hands on Lynn’s upper arms and gave her a quick kiss.
“I don’t remember this from back then,” she laughed.
“No, but I’m happy I can do it now. You look beautiful by the way.”
Lynn turned around and watched herself in the mirror. The skirt was loosely dancing around her legs and the color of the dress matched perfectly with her slightly tanned skin.
“I really look beautiful,” she said to herself. Nate had his hands on her waist now, hovered right behind her, and watched her eyes lit up the moment she saw herself in the mirror. He had hoped she would look good in the dress but now seeing her was even better. The dress was perfect.
“Just for the record, you also look good in everything and especially naked,” he said against the skin of her neck, kissing along it tenderly.
“Just for the record, if you don’t stop now we probably won’t leave this room again,” Lynn whispered, trying to cover the low moan that escaped her throat .
Nate stopped immediately and Lynn whined. That wasn’t exactly what she wanted.
“That’d be a shame. I made mini burgers and veggie skewers for us.”
Lynn turned around to face him, her eyes shining bright in anticipation of the food she was about to get.
“That sounds wonderful. Let’s head out then!” she exclaimed.
“Hold on. You need shoes and a jacket. It’s gonna get cold later,” he said before holding black ankle boots in front of her.
Then he pointed to the black leather jacket that was laying on her bed.
“Oh sure. Thank you. These look great,” Lynn said after she had slipped into the shoes and grabbed the jacket from the bed.
She wouldn’t need it right now but he was right. It was the end of March and when the sun set it started to become too cool for sitting outside without a jacket. Maybe that was the reason why he wore a long-sleeved dress shirt too.
Nate took the jacket out of Lynn’s hand to carry it before intertwining his fingers with hers. They left her room, made another quick stop in the kitchen to grab the basket with the food, and then finally went out of the building and towards the picnic spot they had visited a few times. They weren’t able to drive anywhere else because Lynn was still on house arrest but they were happy to at least be outside of the building from time to time.
After arriving at their favorite spot Nate spread the blanket on the grass and Lynn placed the food containers on it. She saw that Nate had a bottle of champagne in the basket and wondered why the hell he’d bought such an expensive drink. Of course there was orange juice as well.
Nate collapsed onto the blanket and grabbed the first food container to open it. It contained a lot of mini burgers that had almost driven him nuts while making them. He’d had to prick a skewer through them so that they wouldn’t fall apart while he was carrying the basket towards the woods.
Lynn licked her lips before grabbing one of them and taking a big bite. Nate watched her curiously, his hands shaking a little. He was obviously nervous so Lynn reached out her hand and grabbed one of his.
“They're delicious, don’t worry.”
Nate smiled at her before taking a bite of one as well. They were indeed delicious. Lynn tried each of the different burgers and praised him multiple times for the food he’d made. She also liked the vegetable skewers.
While they were enjoying their dinner the sun started to set. As they were surrounded by trees they weren’t able to see the sun directly but the sky was colored in beautiful orange and pink colors. The light seeped through the trees, making it seem like Nate and Lynn were surrounded by a fairytale forest.
“Wow, look at the light!” Lynn exclaimed, turning her head around to memorize as much as possible from this special moment.
“Yeah, it’s so beautiful.”
Nate was unusually quiet and she still felt him trembling. Lynn was worried. Maybe Nate wasn’t feeling good ?
“If you want I can take a picture of you in this light? I bet the combination of your dress and the light looks wonderful in a picture,” Nate suggested and Lynn smiled.
She barely took pictures of herself but this moment was so wonderful that she’d love to have a picture of it.
“Yes, sure,” she said, standing from her sitting position and brushing the dirt off her dress.
“But let’s take a selfie first!” Nate stepped next to her with his phone in one hand.
He wrapped one of his arms around her waist, opened the photo app, and extended the arm with the phone in front of them. After re-positioning themselves a few times to check for the best lighting they smiled into the phone and Nate took a few selfies with them smiling into the camera. Then he took a few with him kissing Lynn’s cheek before they did a final round of them fully kissing.
Lynn grabbed the phone and scrolled through the pictures to check if they turned out to be good.
“We look so happy in these pictures,” she chuckled.
“Because we are happy, darling,” Nate answered before giving her another kiss.
He grabbed the phone again with still-shaking hands. Lynn raised an eyebrow at him. She considered asking him if he was alright but he didn’t give her the chance.
“Now some pics of the beautiful woman in this beautiful light.”
Lynn did a few poses, feeling more than uncomfortable while looking into the camera.
“Darling, you’re doing great. No need to frown the entire time,” Nate laughed .
“I’m just not used to this,” Lynn protested, her head hanging low in frustration; she really didn’t like to be in the spotlight.
“Okay, let’s try a few from behind. You walk towards the trees over there and I’ll stay right here,” Nate instructed, pointing towards the trees he meant.
Lynn nodded, turned around, and took a few slow steps towards the trees. She was still uncomfortable, but being turned away from the camera helped.
“Maybe you could try to spin around or something. I saw that online,” Nate suggested.
“Nate Sheppard, did you eventually sign up for Tik Tok?” Lynn laughed.
“Maybe,” he answered, letting out a loud chuckle as well.
“Okay I’ll try to do a few spins.”
Nate struggled to focus on taking pictures because Lynn looked so beautiful in her dress. She was illuminated by the brightest pink and orange colors, making her look like a fairy.
“You look beautiful, darling.”
“I could never be an influencer. I feel so uncomfortable just standing here and posing for a camera. It feels so damn weird.” She frowned while coming closer to Nate.
“I know, but the pictures are amazing. Let’s try one more, okay?”
“No, I’m fine. I bet you already took tons of pictures.” She smiled, now standing right in front of him.
She leaned into him and gave him a peck on his lips.
“One more, okay?” he asked with puppy dog eyes .
Lynn didn’t understand why it was so important for him but she agreed with a loud sigh.
“Just because you asked so nicely.”
“I’ll make it up to you later, I promise.” He winked before instructing her once more.
He wanted Lynn to run towards the trees again and then suddenly turn around and look into the camera. Nate wanted to video it because he thought she would look amazing. Lynn grabbed the skirt of her dress and held it up a little so she wouldn’t stumble while running.
She started running towards the trees and couldn’t stop laughing. The wind brushed through her hair and the beautiful colors bathed her in their glory. After a few steps she spun around exactly as Nate had instructed her.
Instead of seeing him filming her as she expected he was on one knee, smiling widely at her. He held something out in front of him but as Lynn was several feet away, she couldn’t see what exactly it was.
Her lips parted and she looked at him in shock.
Was this what it looked like?
With one foot in front of the other she made her way towards where Nate was patiently kneeling.
Her heart was beating faster with every step and her own hands began to tremble. The object in Nate’s hands became more and more clear until she finally identified it as a black velvet box. Lynn raised her eyes to meet his ocean blue ones.
His eyes sparkled with more strength than she had ever seen before .
She covered her mouth with one hand as she stopped right in front of him, unable to say a word.
“Lynn,” Nate started with a quiver in his voice.
She knew he was trying to stay as calm as possible but his hands were shaking and he shifted slightly on his knee.
“When I met you I was in a very dark place. After years and years of darkness I’d lost all hope that I'd ever have my old life back. That I’d ever be happy again. I wasn’t able to smile, I wasn’t able to deal with people and if it wasn’t for work, I wasn’t even able to truly live. I was barely hanging on, surviving day by day. I was haunted by the past and reminded every single day that I was a monster. That I’d killed people. And I was reminded every single day about the torture I’d been through. Every day I wished I’d died back in Iraq. So that I wouldn’t have to go through that over and over again.”
He saw tears fall Lynn’s eyes and she stepped closer while extending her hand. Nate grabbed it with his free hand, shifting a little in his position.
“But then you came into my life and the sun rose again. My personal sunshine. You guided me out of the darkness and suddenly I had hope again. With so much passion and patience you managed to crack my shell, break down the walls around my heart, and silence the demons in my mind. I was able to smile, I was able to love. The first movie night when you fell asleep in my arms, I realized that this was exactly what I needed. That this is exactly what I’d always craved. Happiness. Warmth. Love.” Nate smiled at the woman standing in front of him who couldn’t stop crying .
He’d prepared a whole speech over the past week but now he was kneeling there and just listened to his heart while he chose his words. It was raw and unplanned but it felt right.
“Nate,” she whispered but he gave her a sign that he wasn’t done yet.
“I’m addicted to your company, your smile, your warmth, and your love. Every time you touch me a fire erupts on my skin and every time you kiss me it feels like heaven. A year ago my heart was frozen and I wasn’t able to feel anything other than sadness but now my heart is full of love and you are the reason for it. You saved me, Lynn Summers. When I gave up you extended your hand and you offered help. And although I huffed at you and was a grumpy little idiot you forced me to grab your hand and you pulled me out of my rabbit hole. You gave me the life I always dreamed about.” Nate took a deep breath.
“I’ve no idea why I deserve someone as wonderful as you. You are so smart, Lynn. I admire how amazing you are and I love to see with how much passion you live every single day. Helping others is your whole life and I can’t stop smiling when I see you swirl around the med-bay. And you look adorable with your tongue sticking out when you're concentrating,” he chuckled a little and Lynn did as well.
“Your eyes have the most wonderful color and I love how they're illuminated in the light every morning when you wake up next to me. How you always make sure to cuddle with me first thing in the morning and never leave the bed without kissing me and reminding me how much you love me. I mean, how could I forget? Your love is the fuel for my body. I enjoy every single second with you and even when we fought or during the time I was behaving like an asshole, I knew that you loved me. I felt it. Because we're connected on a different level. We’re soulmates, Lynn Summers. We’re meant for each other. I can’t imagine a single day without you. It’s not possible. My heart wouldn’t take it. It would just stop beating. You are my comfort, my home, my safe place. I know as long as I have you, nothing can happen to me.”
He let go of Lynn’s hand for a moment, to brush away the tears that made his vision blurry.
“I know it’s not even a year and I might sound crazy right now but you’re the love of my life and nothing can change that. When I saw you lying in that hospital bed I realized how fast life can end and that I didn’t have the chance to tell you in detail how much you changed me and how much you mean to me. I knew that if you pushed through it, I would go to your father and let him know that I would be by your side forever, if you want me. I know I can be an idiot sometimes, but I want to be your idiot. Always and forever.”
With a smooth movement Nate opened the velvet box and revealed a golden ring with a sparkling diamond embedded on top. Lynn gasped and alternated her gaze between the ring and Nate’s sapphire-colored eyes.
“Lynn Summers, will you let me be your idiot? Will you marry me?”
Nate hadn’t even finished the last word when Lynn started to nod her head as fast as possible.
“Yes, Yes, hundred times yes!” she exclaimed, kneeling down in front of Nate and placing her palms on his cheeks. She had a wide smile on her face, which Nate copied immediately. Lynn pulled him close and connected her lips with his in the most passionate kiss they ever shared.
It was full of love.
It was the first kiss between fiancé and fiancée.
The first kiss of the rest of their life.
“I can’t wait for you to be officially my idiot. I love you so much, you can’t even imagine how much,” she whispered.
Nate placed his palm on her chest, right above her heart.
“I can feel it and I love you even more,” he responded before giving Lynn another kiss.
“Impossible,” she answered in between kisses.
After a few more kisses Lynn leaned back on her feet, looking at Nate with sparkles in her eyes and a wide smile that would never fade again.
Nate grabbed the ring and slipped it on her left ring finger.
“The ring is beautiful. I love it. Thank you so much,” she smiled widely.
Nate took the small pillow out of the velvet box and dug his finger deep into it. Then he pulled a golden necklace out of it, making Lynn raise an eyebrow at him.
“I know you can’t wear it at work so I thought you might want to wear the ring around your neck instead. Then you still have it by your side all the time, even in the OR,” Nate said and Lynn’s eyes filled with tears once more.
“That’s so thoughtful, Nate. Oh God, I love you so much,” she whispered before wrapping her arms around his neck and hugging him tightly.
Nate managed to wrap his free arm around Lynn and hugged her back .
“Can we please stand? My knee’s hurting,” he whined in her ear.
Lynn gasped, jumped back on her feet, and pulled him upwards. Nate rubbed his knee with a grimace on his face before starting to laugh.
“Nobody told me proposing would be so uncomfortable!” he exclaimed, making Lynn start laughing as well.
“Noone said love is easy, honey,” she answered before wrapping her arms around his waist.
“It’s easy when I’m with you,” Nate responded.
He placed a tender kiss on her nose before wiggling himself free from her embrace. He ran towards the blanket to open the bottle of champagne because this was a moment to celebrate.
Lynn stared at her ring again, moving it around on her finger while she took the few steps towards the blanket.
“Lynn Sheppard,” she mumbled under her breath but Nate hadn’t heard her.
“What did you say, darling?” he asked, holding two flutes with the sparkling wine inside.
“Lynn Sheppard sounds wonderful,” she repeated, making Nate’s face light up again.
“Are you sure? You don’t have to give up Summers if you don’t want to. I don’t care about your last name as long as I’m with you.”
“I’m sure. I want everyone to see that we're connected for life and I want our children to have the same last name we do,” Lynn responded.
Nate reached out his flute to her and clinked their glasses .
“Cheers to the Sheppard family,” he exclaimed.
“Cheers to us,” Lynn responded and they both took a huge sip.
After months of fighting, hoping, and praying, they were finally happy. Together they had beaten the demons in Nate’s mind and heart. Today they were smiling at each other and knew that their future was bright.
They knew that no matter what demon might come, they would be able to defeat it.
Together.
Them.
Nate and Lynn Sheppard.