Chapter 23
Sutton
The humid June air sweeps across the back of my neck, carrying the scent of funnel cakes and cheese curds. The late evening sun hangs low in a cloudless tangerine sky. I swat away a buzzing fly and halt in my steps, not to run over the three young boys sprinting across my path.
“That’s Jeremiah, Dad. And Thomas and Edgar.” Nellie plucks another hunk of sticky unicorn cotton candy and shoves it into her blue-tinged mouth.
“They should watch where they’re going.” I resume my pace beside my daughter as she wanders wherever her heart desires.
“They’re just kids, Officer Sunny,” Alice admonishes from the other side. A wide, white smile stretches her thick mulberry lips.
My gaze narrows as her tongue slips out to wet them, suddenly forgetting all about Jemimah and Theo and Everett. Lately, I forget everything when she’s around. Waking up to her in my house has been a unique form of torture. One I didn’t expect.
It’s not like she hasn’t been around. She’s been my nanny for over a month now. But there’s an acute difference in how we interact when she’s beneath my roof full-time versus when she’d show up as I left for work and would head home not long after I got in the door.
We saw each other, but we didn’t see each other. I didn’t get to glimpse her messy bedhead first thing in the morning, even though her black waves are always kind of a mess. I’d never seen that sleepy look on her face before she’s had coffee or when she needs a juice, and it’s three a. m.
Two nights ago, she nearly gave me a damn heart attack as she came up in search of sugar in the middle of the night.
My heart slowed, only to beat double time when she turned the corner and I glimpsed the tiny-ass shorts she wore to bed.
In my bed. I spent the rest of the night fighting the urge to wrap my fingers tight around my cock and pump myself to completion while I thought about her lying between my sheets.
The wayward thoughts have me lagging. I do my best to push them away. Compartmentalize the sudden surge of desire I feel when I think about my nanny. Not only would it be inappropriate to act on, but it’s not what I do. My rare hookups don’t happen where I live. Not since I lost Eleanor’s mom.
But then I look up, and I see the glimpse of Alice’s tan, toned legs and her short cutoffs. The flowy cream tank that shows off her toned arms and cleavage that I want to run my tongue through, and I question why I’m fighting this at all.
What did she say about the guy at the bar? It’s a hookup, not a marriage proposal.
But I have a feeling—and my gut is rarely wrong—that something with Alice wouldn’t be a fleeting frolic in the sheets. I’d want more.
That’s not practical. For my own reasons, but for others too. Like the fact that Nellie loves her. The moment this goes south, that relationship would have to end.
I watch the two of them talk as they walk ahead, pointing at booths and stopping to play games to win tickets, and feel it in my chest…
I’m not selfish enough to ruin this for Nellie.
I’m not sure I’m strong enough to resist as well.
“Daddy! You play Miss Alice now.” Nellie shouts from the water gun race game. She struggles off the tall stool and slaps the cracked black seat. “She’s really good. She won twenty tickets last round.”
Alice winks before shielding her eyes behind dark sunglasses. “Ready to lose, Sunny?”
“Only in your dreams, Firecracker.” I straddle the seat beside her and hand the worker the fee. My jean-clad thigh brushes lightly against her bare one. Is it my imagination, or is she pressing against me harder?
A countdown flashes from ten.
“We should make a bet.” Alice straightens, her hands carefully adjusting the nozzle.
Without missing a beat, I reply, “Name your price.”
Alice avoids my gaze, focusing intently on her task. “Winner takes the bed,” she states, trying to sound nonchalant, but her tone betrays a hint of nervousness.
“Fine.” I lean over my station, lowering my eye level with the target.
“That was easy. You must be pretty sick of waking up with a backache.”
“No.” My tone turns teasing. “If I win, we’ll be sharing the bed together.”
The alarm signals the start, drowning out her gasp at my side.
I steady my hands and aim my water stream through the small hole in the star. A pink-and-green flashing LED light crawls vertically, practically tied to the one beside it. From my periphery, I see Alice hunched over, gripping her gun as if this is life and death.
“Go, Daddy! Go, Alice!”
“I’m going to win,” Alice taunts as her light takes the lead.
“Don’t think so.” I press the trigger harder even though it’s maxed. This is going to come down to who has the better machine.
“Alice is going to win,” Nellie narrates from behind us. “Now Dad is going to win!”
The bell dings. My panel flashes in celebration.
“No!” Alice pouts, flopping back and covering her eyes.
A victorious smile spreads across my face. The machine beside my leg spits out a string of green tickets that I tear off and hand to my daughter.
“Here you go, Buttercup. Go get yourself a toy from over there.” I point at the prize booth across the alley. Alice hands her a matching string of tickets from her pocket.
We slowly follow her.
“I was kidding, you know. I just said that to throw you off your game.”
Alice arches a shapely brow. “Sure you did. Just like I’m not really going to give up the bed.” She fluffs her beautiful black waves and ties them messily on top of her head.
“Are you saying you want me to sleep with you?”
Her lips part, caught off guard by the suggestive phrase.
“Shit. I didn’t mean it like that.”
Alice giggles. “You’re blushing, Sunny.”
I scrub a palm across the back of my neck, feeling the heat in my skin. “You’re going to get me into trouble.”
She leans in, grinning. “With who? A girlfriend I haven’t met yet?”
“If that were the case, you’d have likely heard about her by now.”
“When is the last time you went on a date exactly?”
“Why does that matter?”
“I don’t know. Could be the cure for your grumpiness. I hear blue balls can be a medical emergency.”
I choke on my spit as it suddenly dries in my throat. “I do not have blue balls,” I snap.
“See? Grumpy.”
“Months,” I find myself admitting to her. “More than a year.”
“Dad, I want to go on that ride next.” Nellie pushes a pink plush dog into my hands before Alice can respond to my confession. I follow the direction of her finger.
“You want to ride the Scrambler?”
“Yes! Yes! Please. I want someone to ride with me.”
Alice peers at the structure, a look of disgust on her face. “Oh, no. That ride isn’t for me. I’m waiting for the Ferris wheel.”
Nellie’s eyes grow round. “I want to go on the Ferris wheel too!” She turns in a circle, looking for the tall configuration. “It’s all the way over there. Let’s do this one first.”
“I’ll take you. Alice can wait here and hold your things.”
Thanks, Alice mouths, arms weighed down with bags and plushies.
I tip my chin in acknowledgment, thinking I just scored points all around. It’s not until five minutes later, as Nellie holds on to the Scrambler for dear life and mutters, “I don’t feel so good,” that I realize we all fucked up.
“Hold it in, kiddo.” I grimace at the green tint to her pale skin.
“Stop the ride!” Nellie shouts, squeezing her eyes shut. Her knuckles whiten around the metal handles.
“Hey!” I wave my arms each time I pass the teenage attendant. “Stop the ride!”
“I’m going to throw up,” she cries, leaning against my arm.
Hell, no. I’ve been a single dad for her entire life, but I don’t do vomit. Not without risking being sick myself.
“That way. Lean that way.” I prop her up against the outer edge and gently pat her back. “The ride is almost done. Try closing your eyes.”
She immediately gags. “That’s worse!”
“Open them! Open them,” I urge frantically. For fuck’s sake, how long is this thing? “Try looking at one unmoving point. Your brain is just getting dizzy.”
What feels like fifteen minutes later but is probably less than three, the ride slows.
Nellie groans. As soon as it’s safe to unbuckle, I shove her head between her knees.
“Deep breaths.”
“What happened?” Alice appears at the side of our cart with worried eyes. Her concern warms me from the inside.
“The Scrambler scrambled my guts,” Nellie whimpers.
I back out of the ride only to reach back in, scoop her up, and carry her to a bench across the grassy lawn.
Settling her gently, I keep an arm around her as she catches her breath, her face pale from the wild spinning.
Alice sits beside us, her hand resting lightly on Nellie’s back, murmuring quiet reassurances.
The festive noise of the fair fades into the background. For a moment, the three of us remain there, letting the world spin on without us until Nellie’s color begins to return to normal and her smile flickers back.
“Here. Sip some water.” Alice retrieves the insulated bottle she packed back at the house. Cubes of ice rattle loudly as she twists off the cap.
Nellie takes a hearty sip, setting me on edge.
“Better?” Alice asks, hand hovering to take the water back.
“That helped a lot.” Nellie returns the water to Alice and wipes her mouth with the back of her arm.
Alice’s smile aimed at my daughter is patient and gentle.
“Have you ever felt like that before?” Nellie asks.
“Of course. My blood sugar can make me feel all kinds of dizzy and sick when it’s not in the right range.” Alice runs her fingers over the device on her thigh. “And I just don’t like spinny rides."
Nellie closes her eyes. “I should’ve skipped that one.”
The sun dips lower in the sky, casting golden hues across the fairgrounds. “Do you still want to ride the Ferris wheel?” I ask, noting the fatigue settling in her face. She won’t last much longer, regardless of our plans.
She gives a determined shake of her head. “Heck no. I don’t want to go on a ride ever again.”