Chapter Two
Hope
FRUSTRATION IS MY new best friend.
Since moving to Pine View with the club, it seems someone has taken over from my dad.
I can’t date and barely get to hold a conversation with a man before they race off and I never see them again.
This has happened more times than I can count.
When I confronted King about being the one to scare the guys away from me, he denied the claim and I could tell he was being honest because of the shock filling his face.
King truly has no clue about what’s going on or who’s talking to these guys to make them leave me alone.
It's like I have the fucking plague or something that repels men when all I want to do is get to know someone and make friends that aren’t tied to the fucking club.
Growing up in the Phantom Bastards MC means I know every single person in the clubhouse better than anyone else.
I know almost every dirty secret about them and have heard plenty of stories of everything the guys I moved to Pine View with and what they prefer in every aspect of their lives.
It’s fucking annoying.
Now, they have the Phantom girls that were brought into the clubhouse since we moved here and they get with the guys on a daily basis.
I’ve seen and heard it more than I want to admit.
The one that hurts the most is Jinx.
He spends all of his time with Morgan and has been for the last six months.
I’ve watched her flirt with him, spend all of her free time next to him, and everything else.
I know as much of her story as everyone else does.
My dad and Jinx saved her after she was buried under a building that had fallen on top of her or something.
She was hiding from an abusive ex-boyfriend and now the club has given her a room at the clubhouse, a job, and she gets to spend all of her time with Jinx.
If Morgan needs to go somewhere, Jinx is right there to take her.
It’s fucking annoying as hell and there’s nothing I can do to stop the way I feel about the situation.
So, that’s why I’ve been intent on going out and finding my own friends and maybe someone to date. A man who will take away the thoughts, feelings, and pain of loving a man I’ll never have as my own.
My cousin has definitely partaken with the Phantom girls.
I walked into the common room just last night to find King fucking one of them on the pool table.
Her fake tits didn’t move an inch and her porn star moans filled the room as if she were being murdered instead of fucked.
My cousin is into some kinky shit and it’s not anything I want to witness ever again.
This morning, I couldn’t even look him in the fucking eye when he joined me for breakfast.
I’m sure King is wondering why the hell I’m acting weird with him, but I don’t care.
No, it’s not the first time I’ve seen the guys of the club have sex.
It’s different as hell when it’s your family though.
I will never ask the guys to change the way they are or how they do things.
They live this life because of the freedom they get and I refuse to take that from them.
I’m going to have to start walking in through the back of the clubhouse to get to my room or find my own apartment.
I think that’s honestly what I’ll do.
There’s no need for me to live in the clubhouse when I can get my own place.
I have enough money saved to rent an apartment and a weekly paycheck in order to pay the bills.
There’s no reason why I have to live in the clubhouse.
My dad didn’t make me promise I’d stay on the compound for any reason.
I will keep him informed of my decision and he can come check out the apartment I want before I sign my name on the dotted line if that makes him happy.
He knows Valor and King will do all the security and I’m hoping that’s enough for him to not give me hell about finding my own place.
I’ve also got to convince Vault it’s the right move to make for myself.
He’s gonna be another tough one to talk to about this.
Thinking of everything I need to do in order to start looking for an apartment, I pull up the classified ads in the local paper online and start searching to see if there’s anything available.
I really don’t have high hopes right now considering that so many others are homeless and looking for places to live.
So many people here lost everything in the storms and we’ve all been doing everything we can to ensure they find a home and are able to start over once again.
Part of me feels guilty for possibly taking a home from one of these people, but my mental health is at stake right now and this is something I need to do for me.
I just hope everyone understands my need to be alone and not with the guys at the clubhouse any longer.
I will still help out the ol’ ladies, but space is something that’s necessary if I’m going to remain here in Pine View.
That won’t ever change.
I grew up knowing that the club comes first and we have to help one another out when things get too hard.
I’ll be there to help babysit the kids for Annabell and Savannah when the girls aren’t available to watch them.
Ava, Chloe, and Miracle have been doing a lot of babysitting for them and it’s only when they’re at a game, competition, or something school related those three girls don’t take care of the kids in the club.
They love them and it shows with everything they do to keep the kids entertained.
I love watching them too.
I’ll also still help out with the cooking and other shit for cookouts and other things they have at the clubhouse or for the club.
Printing out a few apartments that interest me, I grab my phone and send a message to Vault.
If I have him on my side, the conversation with my dad might go over a little easier than it will now.
Me: I’ve got to talk to you about something. Do you have time when I get out of work? I should be done in about an hour or so.
Putting my phone back on the desk next to me, I work on finishing up the paperwork that I need to put into the computer so I can finalize the order we need to place.
This weekend I’m taking a full inventory of the store so I can be sure the numbers are accurate and things aren’t being stolen.
Yeah, we have a security system in here and cameras all over the place, but people become desperate and they always will.
It doesn’t take long for my phone to vibrate on the desk next to me.
Vault: I’ve always got time for you, Hope. We can talk when you get back from work. Are you okay? Nothing has happened to you, has it?
Me: Nothing has happened. I’m okay, Vault. I just made a decision and I need to talk to you before anyone else.
Vault: Okay. I’ll wait for you in the common room. We’re all taking a day off if we can today after being on the go for so long.
Me: Thank you. I’ll see you soon.
Setting my phone back down, I get to work so I can head out and have this conversation with Vault before calling my dad.
If anyone can help me get this taken care of, it’s going to be Vault.
He’s been around my dad long enough to know how to word things to him in a way that doesn’t come across as me trying to rebel or anything else.
It’s been known to happen between my dad and me because of the past and his need to control every aspect of my life.
I get why he did it, but it doesn’t change how I feel about things.
So, if I can have some help, I’ll take it any way I can get it.
T he last hour flew by as I put the final bit of information into the computer before making sure everything is saved so I can shut it all down for the day.
I’m the first one here every single morning followed by Raptor and Court.
The rest of the guys, Maddox, Bronx, and Liam, aren’t Prospects of the club or anything.
They simply lived in Pine View and needed work.
The guys hired them after doing an extensive background search and found them passing with flying colors.
I know Bronx is helping his mom out and all of his paychecks go to taking care of her and his younger sister.
He’s a really good guy and a little quiet when I’m around the store.
The only time I hear him talking is if I’m in the back and he can’t see me.
Then, Bronx is funny and so damn smart.
He can listen to a customer and diagnose the problem with a vehicle and recommend the proper part without anything else.
I have yet to hear about him being wrong.
Walking through the hallway to the front of the store, I take my time and make sure I have my keys and phone before actually paying attention to what I’m doing.
Before I make it to the main floor, I hear a conversation Bronx is having with someone and stop dead in my tracks to listen.
Yeah, I know I shouldn’t eavesdrop, but when my name is dropped, I’m gonna listen.
“So, I wanted to ask Hope out. She’s a good person and has already done so much here. I want to get to know her better,”
Bronx states, my heart rate increasing a bit with the thought of Bronx wanting to ask me out.
“What’s stoppin’ you?”
I hear Raptor question him as I lean against the wall. “Hope is a great girl. She’s sweet, lovin’, independent, understandin’, and so much more. You would be lucky to have her at your side.”
“Well, I mentioned it when I was at The Den last night to Liam. We went out for a drink after work and were talkin’ about her. Jinx overheard us when he was cleanin’ the table next to us and told me not to even fuckin’ think about her. She’s off limits and no one is gonna date her or ask her out for any reason,”
Bronx says and it takes everything in me to hold in the gasp wanting to escape with this information.
Why the fuck would Jinx of all people tell Bronx to leave me alone and that I’m off limits? It doesn’t make any sense to me.
Jinx has had plenty of chances to talk to my dad and ask me out for himself.
He hasn’t ever looked at me that way and dates everyone he can get close to.
He’s the biggest player I’ve ever met and always has a different girl with him.
To hear that he’s stopping me from dating is something I wasn’t expecting to hear at all.
“So that’s why no one’s comin’ around her. I’ve been wonderin’ what’s goin’ on. I’ve seen the looks she gets from guys when they see her. It doesn’t matter where she is or what she’s doin’, guys fuckin’ flock to her. I kind of thought everyone here didn’t have the balls to take on a biker’s daughter if I’m bein’ honest. I know that’s not the case with you though,”
Raptor says, his voice full of wonder as he thinks of his brother and whatever game he’s fucking playing.
This is my fucking life and he’s stopping me from living it.
That’s not something I’m going to tolerate for any reason.
If he fucking wants me, he can quit fucking around and make a move.
Since he won’t, he has no right to stop anyone else from asking me out or being in my life.
He’s made it more than clear that Morgan is his girl and that’s perfectly fucking fine.
“I didn’t know she was with him,”
Bronx says, defeat lacing his voice as I look around the corner to see him leaning against the counter in front of Raptor.
“She’s not. My brother supposedly isn’t with anyone. I don’t know what the fuck his deal is. Hope asked King if he was the one keepin’ all the guys away from her and he swore he wasn’t. If she finds out what my brother has done, she’s gonna fuckin’ gut him and leave him where he stands,”
Raptor says, his voice filled with laughter because he knows he’s not wrong.
“I wouldn’t wanna be him,”
Bronx adds in as I clear my throat a few seconds before making my presence known to the guys.
“Hey, Hope. Headin’ out for the day?”
Raptor asks me as if they weren’t just talking about me and Jinx.
“Yeah. Gotta talk to Vault about something before I call home. I might need to take a day or two off, Raptor. I’ll let you know as soon as plans are in place and I know what’s going on,”
I state, not wanting him to know what’s going on before I’ve had a chance to talk to Vault and my dad.
“Okay. Let me know and we’ll work it out,”
he says as I wave to them and leave Phantom Auto to get in my car.
Tears fall from my eyes as soon as I get in the driver’s seat and put my key in the ignition.
Frustration and being hurt fill me and I know that whatever feelings I have for Jinx need to disappear so I can move on with my life.
If this is the game he’s gonna play here, maybe I need to think about moving somewhere else.
My dad is only going to let me go so many places.
He’ll want me close to a club he knows will protect me.
That leaves the Wild Kings, Satan’s Anarchy, and maybe one or two other clubs that they’ve formed alliances with over the years.
Anywhere is better than here at this point.
Wiping my tears away hastily, I start my car and make my way to the clubhouse.
It doesn’t take me more than fifteen minutes to get to the compound and park my car.
Grabbing my things, I make my way inside to find a few of the guys, Annabell, Savannah, and a few Phantom girls in the common room.
I try not to look at anyone as the tears still fall and I know I just walked in on the middle of something happening.
When I get to the stairs, I turn my head to find Morgan placing her hand on Jinx’ arm in an intimate way.
She’s smiling at him before he even turns his attention to her as I slide the blank mask back in place and race up the stairs to my room.
Unlocking the door, I close it softly behind me and lock it once again so no one can just walk right in.
There’s no way King didn’t see me crying and he’ll want to know what’s going on.
I don’t want to deal with him right now, but he doesn’t deserve me ignoring him either.
I just hate that Jinx is his best friend because when I talk to him, it will put King in the middle of this situation and that’s not right.
Heading for my bathroom, I turn on the faucet in the sink and fill my hands with cold water to splash on my face as I fight back anymore tears from falling.
It doesn’t take long at all for me to hear the pounding on the door and know it’s King.
He has a very distinct way of knocking that’s more pounding and less knocking. I’ve heard it a million times over the years and always tease him about it.
Walking to the door, I unlock it and let him in.
King isn’t alone as Vault enters my room with him.
They move to sit on the couch in my room as I take a seat on my bed.
None of us talk for a few minutes as I continue to fight the tears that want to fall.
“I thought you said you were okay, Hope?”
Vault finally asks me, his voice softer than I’ve ever heard it when he’s not talking to Annabell or their kids.
“I was okay when I messaged you. It’s what happened after that has me upset. That’s not what I want to talk to you about, Vault. I’ve been thinking and it’s time for me to move out of the clubhouse. I want to get my own apartment here in Pine View. At least for now. I need your approval to do so before I even think about talking to my dad. Maybe if you or one of the guys go with me to check these places out, Dad will be more likely not to lose his shit,”
I tell him, not looking at King because I can already feel the tension filling him as he stares a hole through my head.
“Why do you want this all of a sudden, Hope?”
Vault questions me, still not raising his voice and talking to me as if I’m a wounded animal that’s going to spook easily and run from him.
“I walked into the common room to see my cousin fucking some Phantom girl last night, Vault. That’s not anything I need to see again. I’ve seen more of you fucking than I ever need to over the years. I feel as though I’m a burden here and don’t have the freedom everyone else does. Today, I learned that freedom is even less than I imagined. It’s worse than living with my dad and him wanting to control every aspect of my life,”
I state, anger and pain filling me all over again.
“What the fuck happened?”
King explodes, standing from the couch as Vault stands with him to hold him back from coming closer to me while I flinch from my seat on the edge of my bed.
“I overheard a conversation at work. Remember when I asked if you were telling guys to stay away from me?”
I ask my cousin and look at him to see his nod in response to my question.
“Well, I found out who’s been telling everyone to leave me alone.
It’s Jinx.
Bronx was at The Den with Liam last night and said he was thinking about asking me out.
Jinx apparently told him I’m off limits and not to even think about asking me out.
I have no clue why the fuck he’d do that shit when he’s clearly involved with Morgan.
He has no say in who I date or talk to.
I can’t live like this.
If I can’t get my own place here, then I might have to talk to my dad about leaving Pine View and moving somewhere else.
I don’t want to leave you guys, but I have to think of myself right now and I’m not willing to be around Jinx and the games he wants to play,”
I inform them as Vault literally has to hold my cousin back from tearing out of my room in search of his best friend.
It takes several long minutes for Kingston to calm down before he retakes his seat on the couch and Vault joins him. Both men look at me as tears once again fill my eyes and threaten to spill over.
“Okay, Hope. Do you have places in mind?”
Vault finally says as I grab the papers I printed out at work and hand them over to him.
King and Vault look over the apartment listings and put a few off to the side. The rest are thrown in the garbage and I take it they know something about the owner or location that I don’t. At least they didn’t throw all of them away on me.
“Set up appointments to go look at these ones. King and I will go with you so we can make sure you’ll be safe. Once you’ve made a decision, I’ll call Killer with you and assure him that I won’t go a day without seein’ you and that King will also personally check on you daily. That’s the only way he’s gonna let you do this,”
Vault states and I get up from my bed and give him a hug as he stands. King remains sitting on the couch and I know he’s gonna stay with me for a while.
“Thank you, Vault. I’ll call in a minute to set things up and let you know.”
Vault leaves the room and makes sure the door is closed behind him. I don’t leave my bed and wait for King to say what he has to say. It doesn’t take long.
“Jinx is my best friend and we’ve always been closer than brothers. I thought one day he’d pull his head from his ass and claim you as his. Now he’s got this shit goin’ on with Morgan. I want to believe him when he says they’re just friends, but I’m not sure any longer. He’s been upset with me since he learned that I was gonna quit the club and was scared to get on my bike again. I didn’t talk to him about it before droppin’ that bomb to Slim and my family. Includin’ your dad. My first ride with Killer and my dad didn’t involve him either,”
King says, his voice full of regret and guilt as he sits back against the couch and I make my way over to sit with him.
“Kingston, you went through a horrible experience and it’s no wonder you have trauma from the accident and everything you’re still going through regarding it. I know if I were you, I wouldn’t have opened up to everyone in my life. I would’ve held back just like you did. You have your right to the feelings you have about the accident and how it makes you feel. If Jinx can’t understand that shit, then he’s a shit friend. The fact that he’s holding this against you all these months later means he’s a shit friend in my book,”
I tell my cousin as I lean into his side and he wraps his arm around my shoulders.
“He’s not a shit friend, Hope. This with you makes him a shitty person. But, he’s a really good guy and you shouldn’t believe everythin’ you think is true about him. If anyone knows him and what he’s done over the years, it’s me and only me. I know everythin’ about Jinx and what he’s been up to over the years. That’s why I’m so surprised that he hasn’t gone to Killer yet and talked to him about you. I just don’t know what game he’s playin’ lately,”
my cousin says as we let those words settle between us and sit in silence.
I spend the rest of the day with King.
After making my calls and setting up appointments to view the apartments they kept, I send a message to Vault.
King has one of the Prospects, Deegan, bring us up dinner so we don’t have to go down to the common room.
Neither one of us wants to be around everyone else right now and that’s okay.
We’re good spending time together as a family since we’re all we have here in Pine View.
It’s a good night; one of the best I’ve had in a very long time.