Chapter Twenty-Eight
Hope
A month later
TODAY IS THE big day .
It’s the day I merge my life with Carson’s.
We’ve spent the last month planning, trying on one dress after another until I found the perfect one, and everything else that goes into planning the wedding of your dreams.
We’re going to have a full house here today with members of the Phantom Bastards, Wild Kings, and Satan’s Anarchy filling the church and then the clubhouse after the ceremony.
The ol’ ladies came back a week ago and started cooking and freezing everything we’ll need for the reception.
Skylar made our wedding cake and some other desserts for the guests.
My dad chose the song we’ll have our dance to and Carson chose our song.
I have complete faith in them and know they’ve taken it seriously.
Honestly, Carson surprised me by how into the wedding planning he was. Every time there was a decision to be made, he was right there.
None of the guys bitched about having to wear tuxedos either.
Everyone in the wedding party and the man marrying us are wearing them.
My dad is also going to wear one for the ceremony and pictures.
I thought he would be the hardest one to convince, but all I did was ask him and he agreed.
Faith, Jemma, and Paige’s dresses are beautiful and they fell in love with them as soon as we saw them in the bridal store.
The colors are amazing on them and I know today is going to be the best day of our lives.
Last night was the hardest part of this last month.
For the first time since Carson and I got together we spent the night apart.
He slept at our home behind the clubhouse while I had a girl’s night in the clubhouse with my sister, cousins, friends, aunts, and mom.
We watched sappy movies, laughed, ate a ton of junk food, and stayed up way too late.
The entire time I missed Carson and knew he was with the guys at our home.
Their plan was to play cards and watch some game all night while drinking.
King and Devil assured me they wouldn’t let him get completely wasted so he’s hungover today.
Even though we’re not getting married until sunset, the day is going to be full of getting ready and enjoying my last taste of freedom as Faith keeps saying.
She told me last night that it’s not too late to run and she’ll help hide me.
It’s all jokes because she knows I’m completely in love with Carson and can’t wait to spend the rest of our lives together.
Faith told me last night as everyone was settling down for bed that she can’t wait to find a love like ours for herself.
Yeah, we don’t fight about much, but we’re completely devoted to one another and no one will ever come between the two of us.
That’s what Faith wants and I hope she finds it.
Damon still isn’t stepping up the way he should for her so she’s written him off completely.
What she doesn’t know is that I happen to have an idea of someone who is in love with her already and hasn’t said anything.
It’s in the way he watches her as she moves around and has been there for her when no one else could reach her.
He’s a member of another club and will be in attendance today.
Maybe I can push them together and take away the awkwardness of one of them having to make the first move.
It’s kind of surprising because I know this guy doesn’t usually have a hard time taking what he wants.
And I know he’s not afraid of my dad.
I’m thinking Faith has opened up about Damon and he wants to see her happy.
Even if that’s with someone else.
“Hope, you need to get in the shower. We’ve got a full day of things to get you ready and they can’t start until you’re showered,”
my mom says walking in our room at the clubhouse where I’ve been sitting in bed thinking about everything.
“I’m going. Just got lost in my head for a while,”
I answer her, throwing the blankets back and climbing from the bed.
“You’re not having second thoughts, are you?”
she asks me, worry filling her gaze as she steps up closer to me.
“No. I’ve been thinking about everything leading up to today and Faith,”
I respond honestly as I let her hug me close and hold me for a few minutes.
My mom has been an emotional wreck since the day Carson proposed to me.
She’s so excited and happy on one hand, but not ready for me to be married on the other one.
It’s as if her and my dad have switched roles and he’s the steady one while she’s a mess.
Usually, he’d be all over the place with something this major happening to one of us girls.
Instead, he’s been there for my mom and me when I need a shoulder to cry on and Carson hasn’t been around because he’s at work or on a run.
“Okay. Get ready. The girls are showering in various rooms and then they’ll be in. Skylar and the Wild Kings ol’ ladies are already in the kitchen preparing breakfast. I’ll bring you up something to eat. We can’t have you go all day without food. My grandbaby needs his or her nourishment.”
Without another word, my mom leaves me alone in the room and I laugh softly as I make my way to the bathroom so I can get in the shower.
Yesterday we had a spa day and everything got waxed.
I was in so much damn pain but my aunt insisted it needed to happen.
So, we all got waxed and walked out of the spa looking like a bunch of crazy bitches.
The guys all laughed their asses off when we got back to the clubhouse.
Carson held me for a while and tried his hardest not to laugh, but failed miserably.
What made the entire situation worse is that my aunt is the only one who didn’t get waxed.
Claimed she was too old and didn’t need to worry about that kind of stuff because her husband loves her regardless of what hair she has on her body.
I call bullshit, but there’s no way I can prove she just chickened out.
After turning on the water, I complete my morning routine before stripping down and climbing in the shower.
My mom or Faith is supposed to be in the room while I’m in here, but they’re both getting ready.
So, I carefully move around the shower as I wash my hair, condition it, and then start on my body.
“Hope, I’m here,”
Faith calls out as I rinse the conditioner from my hair.
“Okay. I’m almost done,”
I answer her, my voice muffled by the water and the door that I left partially open in case one of the women did come in.
Everything seems to move at warp speed from the second I get out of the shower.
I’m pampered, fed, dressed, and everything in between.
My mom surprised me by hiring a team of stylists to come in and work on everyone so we’re all getting ready at the same time as we talk and laugh together.
The photographer is even in here early to snap pictures of us all getting ready.
She’s doing the same thing with the guys. We’re going to have so many photos of our wedding day and I’m all for it.
Pulling up to the church in the limousine, excitement fills me. I’m not nervous like I thought I’d be as my dad looks over to me and holds my hand.
“You ready for this, Baby Girl?”
he asks me as everyone else gets out of the limousine and heads inside to put the final touches on their make-up, hair, and everything else.
“I’ve been ready, Dad. I’m so happy and can’t wait to see Carson. You look very handsome in your tuxedo,”
I tell him, as he stands from the car and holds out his hand to help me.
“I’d only do this for your sister and you, Baby Girl. You two are my world and orbit around your mom who takes up my entire universe. Once we’re back at the clubhouse and the pictures are done, I will be changing though,”
he warns me of something he’s said repeatedly over the last month.
“I know.”
My dad walks me into the church and we come to a stop behind my bridesmaids and Faith.
They’re all wearing strapless dresses with sweetheart necklines.
The dresses fit their bodies like a second skin until their waist where the bottom flares out so it’s easy to walk and move around in.
Jemma and Paige are wearing dark blue dresses with matching sandals.
Faith’s dress is silver and brings out the blue of her eyes.
She’s wearing matching sandals because none of us want to wear heels or wedges today.
My feet have been slightly swollen the last week or two so sandals that are flat were our best option.
The dress I finally settled on is also strapless.
I’ve got a sweetheart neckline and the dress flares out just below my chest.
There’s a dark blue ribbon that’s tied around my waist with blue and silver flowers all over the bottom of my dress.
My hair is all up in some kind of complicated updo with several pieces of hair framing my face in curls.
I’ve once again got barely any make-up on.
My mom gave me the bracelet she wore on her wedding day that my Aunt Kim gave her.
Not many people know about it because she wore it on her ankle.
I’d love to wear it on my ankle, but today isn’t a day I can do that.
Carson bought me the most beautiful necklace for today.
It’s a silver chain with the letters C and H hanging from the chain.
The charms are delicate and feminine and I know we’ll add to it for every child we bring into this world. There’s already blue in my dress so I didn’t need anything blue as my mom insists I follow that tradition.
My mom and Annabell fuss over my dress once I’m in the church and make sure everything is perfect from the hem of the dress to the long train flowing behind me.
They brush a few curls off my face so they’re hanging where they’re supposed to be and hand me my flowers.
Carson went out and picked flowers from the field behind the clubhouse and a florist made them into a beautiful bouquet.
They’re tied together with a thin silver ribbon and I couldn’t be happier with how they turned out.
Before I can get lost in my head too much, the wedding march starts to play and my dad steps us off to the side of the double doors as we watch the girls start to walk down the aisle.
When Faith gets to the doors, she pauses and turns back to look at me.
“I love you, sis,”
she whispers as she soon disappears and the doors are closed once again so my dad and I can step back in front of them.
“I love you, Baby Girl. Carson is a lucky man and I know you’ll both make the other one happier than you’ve ever been,”
my dad says as tears fill my eyes from his words.
“I love you, Dad. Thank you for always being there for me,”
I return as the doors open and it’s time for me to walk toward my future.
My eyes lock on Carson as he stands next to King.
He doesn’t look away from me even as King whispers something in his ear.
I see the emotion on his face and the moisture building in his eyes with every step closer to him I take.
By the time my dad and I reach the end of the aisle, my own eyes are filled with tears I’m desperate to hold in.
Carson is wearing a black tuxedo with black button-down shirt.
His tie is a dark blue with silver stripes going diagonal down the length.
Carson’s hair is trimmed and I can see just the hint of tattoos peeking out of the shirt covering his torso.
His feet are covered by his standard boots but they’re new.
In his jacket is a small boutonniere of wild flowers that the other two guys are wearing as well.
My soon-to-be husband looks sexy as fuck in his tuxedo and I can’t wait to tear it off of him once we’ve gotten through the ceremony and reception.
“Who gives this woman away,”
Slim asks, his voice echoing in the church as the crowd remains silent.
“Her mother and I do,”
my dad responds, his voice catching before he clears his throat, turns to face me, and presses a soft kiss on my forehead.
I don’t look back as he steps to his seat next to my mom. My eyes are still locked on Carson. He takes my hands in his and we remain facing one another as Slim starts the ceremony.
“You may all be seated. We are gathered here today to join Carson ‘Jinx’ Busch and Hope Angel Long,”
Slim begins, his voice catching as he looks at the crowd surrounding us.
“These two have been dancin’ around one another for years. They’ve denied their feelings and finally come together when the time was right. It is truly my honor to wed my grandson and a girl I’ve had the pleasure of watchin’ grow up into the amazin’ woman she is today. We’re gonna keep this short and sweet because I know my grandson doesn’t want to waste any time when it comes to marryin’ his woman.”
We all laugh because Slim’s not wrong. Carson is already fidgeting and shifting from one foot to the other. I tighten my hands around his for a brief second before Slim tells Carson to say his vows.
“Hope, I’ve called you my Sweet Girl for as long as I can remember.
Even if it was only in my head.
You are truly one of a kind and the perfect combination of your mom and dad.
You’ve got the patience, sweetness, huge heart, and all the love to give the world around you from your mom.
From your dad you’ve learned not to take any shit, to trust your gut, and defend those who can’t defend themselves for one reason or another.
You’re the strongest woman I know and that’s sayin’ somethin’ with who our mothers, aunts, and cousins are.
Everythin’ you’ve been through, fought for, and survived is a testament to your will to live and the fight you have deep within you.
“I love you more than I’ll ever be able to say or show you even if we have a hundred years together. You make me want to be the best version of myself and I can’t wait to make you mine in every single way. I want to spend the rest of my days baskin’ in the light you shine into the world and breathe the air needed to get through each second of life. Hope, it truly is an honor that you see somethin’ in me and chose to make me yours as much as I want to make you mine. I vow to love and support you, give you what you need and want, and remain faithful and loyal all the days of my life,”
Carson says as tears fill my eyes because I know he has a hard time putting what he wants to say into words. He’s gotten his point across and I can hear more than one person already sniffling as they try to hold back their tears.
“Hope, you may say your vows,”
Slim says when I remain silent for longer than I intended.
“Carson, I’ve loved you since before I even really knew what love is.
You’re the sweetest guy I know even if no one gets to see that side of you.
You’re protective, loving, smart, strong, and loyal to a fault.
When I wanted to lash out and rebel against my dad’s rules and structure, you were there to make sure I was safe and the first person to me if I did manage to hurt myself.
What everyone believes they know about you is false and I love that you did that for others while remaining true to yourself.
Even now, you go above and beyond to support those in your world.
A perfect example of that is the friendship you have with Morgan. You were the one she chose to trust and you didn’t take a second of that for granted. The entire time, you remained loyal to her and helped her through the toughest times in her life. Not once, but twice.
“I love you Carson so much and you make me not only want to be a better woman, but be the best version of myself for you and only you. You give me a reason to get up in the morning even when it’s the last thing I want to do. When I’m not strong enough to get through something, you give me the strength I need without hesitation. I will love you every second of every day for the rest of our lives and it will never be enough. Today is the first day of the rest of our lives and it is my honor that you want me to walk this journey with you. We will remain at one another’s side, never one in front of the other. I vow to love and support you, give you what you need and want, and remain faithful and loyal all the days of my life,”
I tell Carson as the first tear slips free and rolls down my cheek.
Slim goes through the part of the ceremony where we exchange rings and repeat the words he tells us.
Still, I don’t take my eyes off of Carson as he slides the ring on my finger and then I return the favor and slide a wedding band on his finger.
Again, my eyes fill with tears and I know this is the happiest moment of my life.
“By the power invested in me by me, I now pronounce you husband and wife. Carson, you may kiss your bride,”
Slim says as everyone once again breaks out in laughter from his wording of that sentence.
Everything fades to nothing as Carson moves in closer to me.
“You’re the most beautiful woman I’ve ever seen in my life. Today, you’re positively glowin’ and sexier than ever before,”
he whispers before pressing his lips against mine and removing his hands from mine to place around my back.
I don’t hesitate to open when Carson deepens the kiss as I wind my arms around his neck.
It’s not until I feel a tapping on my shoulder that I break free from Carson and turn to find my sister with a smile on her face and tears sliding down her face.
She hands my bouquet back to me and moves her eyes to look at our dad who has his arms wrapped around our mom.
Yeah, don’t want to get too deep into kissing Carson with my dad a few feet away from us.
“Ladies and gentleman, it’s my pleasure to introduce for the first time Mr. and Mrs. Jinx Busch!”
Slim announces, his voice raised as the crowd filling the church claps and cheers.
Carson grabs my hand once again and we leave the church.
He leads me to the waiting limousine we’ll take back to the clubhouse where I’ll change and get on Carson’s bike.
I wanted to be on the back of his bike for part of our day and he fought me so hard.
We finally compromised and I’ll ride from the front of the clubhouse to the back before I’m back off it again.
That will be the only time I sit on his bike until after I have the baby.
He’s not happy about me even being on it for a minute, but the club is such a huge part of our lives and I can’t imagine having our wedding day without a bike being involved in one way or another.
So everyone has pitched in to make sure nothing is wrong with my husband’s bike and that I’ll be perfectly safe on the back.
When we get back to the clubhouse, the first thing we do is take the wedding pictures with our entire wedding party and family members.
There’s pictures of me on Carson’s bike with him at my side.
Those ones are actually my favorite ones and I can’t wait to see how they come out.
My dad didn’t grumble one time about the pictures being taken of him and there are several of the two of us.
My second favorite ones are probably the ones of Faith, Devil, myself and Carson.
The only thing that would make them better is if Caleb were home with us.
We all miss him so much and today is just another reminder that he’s not here right now.
We’ll do pictures with him once he comes home.
After changing my dress into a shorter version, Carson leads me back out to the front of the clubhouse where his bike is waiting for us.
My dad and Playboy are right there waiting to help me on the back after Carson gets settled and they’ll walk next to us in case something does happen.
Our dads are ready to pull me off the bike in a second if that’s what needs to happen.
Both of them have changed into their jeans and cuts, looking much more themselves than before.
I wasn’t expecting Playboy to wear a tuxedo with the rest of the guys who did, but he showed up in one and made me cry.
“You ready for this, Sweet Girl?”
Carson asks me once our dads have me on the bike behind him and I wrap my arms around his waist.
“I’ve been ready for so long, Carson. I love you,”
I tell him, not bothering to tell him of the trust I have in him because he already knows.
“I love you, too, Sweet Girl,”
he returns, starting the engine of his bike as it rumbles in the air and vibrates the pavement under us.
We slowly make our way around the clubhouse until Carson parks on a board that was laid out specifically for his bike so it doesn’t sink in the grass or fall over.
My husband helps me off the bike and he presses a kiss to my lips before we turn to face our family and friends who literally fill the backyard of the compound.
The cheering and clapping is so loud as everyone begins to slowly come up to congratulate us and give us hugs and well wishes.
It takes us forever to get to our seats, but we have a large family and even more friends that are helping make our special day even better.
During the rest of the reception, we do everything you would normally see at a wedding.
I dance with my dad.
He chose the song She’s Somebody’s Daughter by Drew Baldridge and I didn’t bother holding in the tears as he spun me around the dance floor like he used to when I was a very little girl, standing on his feet as he danced with me.
When it was time for Carson and I to have our first dance, he chose Yours by Russell Dickerson.
It’s one of my favorite songs and he knows that I truly love this one.
We had our cake and smashed it in one another’s faces before it was time to throw the flowers and garter.
Faith caught my bouquet before I was sat in a chair in the middle of the dance floor.
Carson got down on his hands and knees, putting his head under the loose bottom of my dress to remove the garter with his teeth.
My dad wasn’t too happy about that one, but he didn’t do anything.
Axel, Psycho’s son, caught the garter and ended up taking pictures with Faith. I couldn’t stop the smile from covering my face at the two of them so timid and shy around one another.
When I started to yawn, Carson declared it time for us to leave for the night.
We’re choosing not to go on a honeymoon right now and focus on being together without all the crazy shit that’s been going on around us.
We’re moving into our new home as of tonight, and I can’t wait.
As we get up from our seats at the head table filled with all of the amazing food that’s been prepared for us, everyone else stops what they’re doing to send us off.
Carson and I walk from the party to our home.
By the time we’re at the wraparound porch, I’m in his arms as he carries me up the steps and through the door of our home.
He doesn’t put me down until we’re in our bedroom.
There we find the bed covered in flower petals with a note that there’s a ton of food that’s been prepared and left in the kitchen for us to devour while we spend the next few days locked in our own world.
Carson strips me out of my dress and lays me on our new bed before removing his own clothing.
We spend the rest of the night enjoying one another over and over again until neither one of us can keep our eyes open a second longer.
Best day and night of my entire life and it’s only going to get better moving forward.