Chapter 31
CHAPTER THIRTY-ONE
Aspen
It was late when I arrived at Monroe’s house. My jacket was tugged over my neck as it did its best to shield me from the cold. Paranoia wrapped around me like a vice on my journey here, afraid that someone—probably Myles—was watching my every move. A cold cloud of air vacated my lips from the freezing weather as I stood on the porch, not knowing what to do. It felt weird barging in there without knocking, but I’d feel even worse if I did knock and woke him up when he had to work the following day.
Sighing, I reached for the knob and gently turned it until the door clicked open. Relief filtered through me due to it not being locked, but then I silently cursed him, mentally reprimanding him for it. Darkness blanketed the entirety of the living room, making it difficult to peer inside. Crossing the threshold, I carefully pulled the door closed behind me.
I’d stayed in this house long enough to know its layout like the back of my hand, so turning on the main light wasn’t necessary. Not when my room was right down the hall on the opposite side of the living room. Shouldering my bag more tightly, I started in that direction. My footsteps were soft and careful as I moved, not wanting to make too much noise or trip over something along the way.
When I reached my bedroom door, I cracked it open and stepped inside. Exhaustion weighed on me, pulling a yawn from my throat as I flicked the light on that resided beside the door. However, the last thing I’d expected to see was a sleeping Monroe snuggled up beneath my comforter.
Why the hell wasn’t he in his own room?
Annoyance rippled through me and my bag slid down my arm, clattering to the wooden floor with a thump. This was his house, so he could technically sleep wherever the hell he wanted to, but why did he say that this was still my room if it clearly wasn’t? I’d sat on the couch enough times to know that it wasn’t all that comfortable. It might have looked brand new and was pretty to stare at, but it was also stiff as a fucking board. I needed my beauty rest before going back to class tomorrow. Knowing that Raven wasn’t going to be there was going to hurt like a bitch. I needed to be mentally prepared, if there was even such a thing.
Monroe’s eyes were closed, his expression soft, making him appear much younger than he usually looked. His five ‘O’ clock shadow was prominent beneath the light, and I yearned to feel his scruff along my smooth skin again. He was absolutely gorgeous.
Drifting over to the bedside, I reached out, placing a hand on his masculine shoulder. Not waking him up obviously wasn’t an option anymore. It didn’t take much effort on my part, because as soon as my muscles flexed from the force of shaking him just slightly, his eyes snapped open. It took him a moment to comprehend what was happening, but as reality settled in, surprise flickered across his face.
“Aspen?” he rasped sleepily. The sound sent a current of butterflies straight to my core.
I swallowed before nodding. “Yeah. Sorry to wake you, but where exactly am I supposed to sleep?”
Monroe sat up, the blanket pooling around his waist with the action. A gasp got lodged in my throat as I came to the sudden realization that he wasn’t wearing a shirt, his muscles on full display. Heat spread through my body like an inferno, and suddenly, I felt like a child all over again. Why did the universe hate me so damn much? It was impossible not to stare. He was the hottest damn teacher I’d ever laid eyes on, and he was in my bed of all places.
His eyebrow pinched together in confusion, and he groggily followed it up by rubbing the sleep from his eyes with the palms of his hands. “W-what are you doing here?” he asked.
“They let me go…” I trailed off, panic coiling around my chest like a snake. Suddenly, I got the uneasy feeling that he might not have wanted me here anymore. “Is it okay that I came?”
He blew out a breath, his brown hair sticking up at weird angles, making him look more rugged than usual. “Yes, of course.” His eyes darted around the average-size room like he was still trying to focus them. “I’ll sleep on the couch.”
Confusion swept over me at that statement. “Why the couch?” I pressed. “What’s wrong with your room?”
He sighed again, leaning his back against the headboard. The muscles along his sharp jaw tightened, indicating that this wasn’t a conversation he wanted to have. “Caroline is occupying my room.” He winced as if the words physically pained him.
I scoffed, anger building inside of my stomach and spreading through my veins. My week just kept getting worse and worse. First, Collin and Hunter were buried to the hilt inside of that Peyton girl. Now, Monroe allowed his snake of a wife back into his home where I also happened to live.
What the fuck was happening to me lately?
Guys didn’t hurt me . I hurt them. I didn’t quiet my thoughts, but that’s exactly what I’d been doing lately. Fuck. That.
“You’re a fucking idiot,” I snapped, keeping my voice low enough so that the beast in the other room didn’t awaken.
He reeled back, his eyes widening in surprise. I was thankful for all of his help, but I had to stop with the mindset of thinking I was somehow indebted to him.
“She’s a gold-digging bitch who only cares about herself and you allowed her right back in.”
I wasn’t sure if it was a buildup of everything that had been going wrong in my life lately and I was finally snapping, or if I’d just completely lost it. This wasn’t my place, but I cared about him, and he was letting this cunt manipulate him. That wasn’t okay.
“I understand that the two of you don’t get along, but?—”
My eyes narrowed into slits as the rage within me intensified to dangerous levels. “This has nothing to do with me, asshole,” I hissed.
Cautiously, he removed the comforter from around his body, revealing a pair of gray sweatpants that clung to his hips nicely. He rose, taking slow strides toward me until there was only a foot between us. Concern was etched into his features, and damnit, if that didn’t piss me off even more.
“I’m an adult Aspen. You don’t have to worry about me.”
I snorted at the irony, rolling my eyes into my hairline. “You seem to forget, Aiden . I’m an adult too.” He was only six years older than me and acted like he was decades older. It was comical really.
Something flickered across his face, but it was gone before I could decipher it. He was impossible to read, and I hated it.
“You’ll be attending classes?” he asked, watching my expression closely. The randomness of his question threw me for a loop, and I was left staring at him like he’d grown a second head.
“Don’t change the subject on me, Monroe.” My patience was running thinner by the second. It felt weird being the one bossing him around and demanding shit, but he had to know that Caroline wasn’t good for him. Not even as a housemate, or whatever the hell she was anymore.
Amusement flickered across his face, the sleepiness long gone from his eyes and replaced with something else entirely. Something dangerous. Something that made my pulse accelerate. I wasn’t sure if I’d ever seen him look at me this way before. It made me feel… powerful .
“Answer the question, Palmer ,” he said in a husky voice, using my last name against me like I’d done him.
My breath caught in my throat as I noticed the change in the air surrounding us. Was he…coming on to me? Right now, of all times? I’d imagined what it would be like to have him want me like that again but of his own accord. The memory of him pounding into me was still potent in my mind, especially with how close his half-naked body was to mine.
“Yes.”
“When?” he growled, taking another step toward me and closing the distance between us.
He was so close that if I inhaled deeply enough, our chests would brush. His hot breath caressed my skin, the scent of whiskey attacking my senses. Assessing him more closely, his eyes appeared bloodshot. He was drunk. My chest constricted from that revelation. He’d only flirt with me if he was intoxicated. That knowledge just added to my already shitty week.
“Tomorrow,” I answered with an unintentional bite to my tone.
Oblivious to my sudden change in demeanor, he stepped even closer so that our fronts were pressed together. His head was angled down, his eyes peering into mine with dark, heated promises.
“Good.” His gaze darkened and before I could even process what was happening, he closed the distance, smashing his lips against mine.
My head spun from the dizzying spell he enveloped me in. His strong hands cupped either side of my face while he held me in place, his tongue sweeping between my lips and teasing me. This wasn’t right. Not like this. I wanted him to truly want me. Not because he was so plastered that he couldn’t register his own actions or thoughts even. He lifted me with ease, forcing me to wind my hands around his necks so I didn’t fall. My back met the hard planes of the nearest wall and his erection dug into my heated center as he grinded into me, forcing a pained whimper from my throat.
“That’s it, Aspen,” he purred, breaking the kiss. “Moan for me.” His lips drifted to the column of my neck, eliciting a gasp. My legs tightened around him; the urge to grind against him being nearly painful.
With one hand holding me in place, he used the other, moving it to my aching pussy where he proceeded to rub circles against my clit through my leggings. Electricity rippled through me like a dangerous current and I wanted nothing more than to let him take me right here. Especially with his cunt of a wife being in the other room. But I couldn’t.
Building up as much courage as possible, I pushed against his chest. “Monroe, stop.” He didn’t, though. Instead, he applied more force, making my legs buckle in his hold. My heart raced as the heat began to overwhelm me. “Monroe,” I choked out, but it sounded more like a moan than anything.
Peeling his lips from my neck, he looked me in the eye again. “Shhh,” he said softly. His eyes were hooded, completely glazed over with lust. “I’m tired of fighting it.” Now that it was obvious he was drunk as shit, it was easy to see it in his mannerisms and in the way he spoke.
“Monroe,” I growled more firmly. His movements stilled and he tilted his head to the side, confusion flickering across his face. “Put me down.”
Reluctantly, he obeyed. I grabbed onto the wall for support, my legs still shaking from what had just occurred. Under any other circumstance, I would have given in, but it didn’t feel right taking advantage of him like this. He stepped away from me, taking his body heat with him.
I motioned to the bed. “Lay down.” If I wasn’t willing to sleep on the couch, then there was no way I was forcing him to in his own home. I’d just stay on my side of the bed like usual when sleeping next to any of the other guys.
He swayed slightly on his feet but regained his balance rather quickly. To my surprise, he didn’t question me and moved back to the bed, climbing beneath the comforter. His eyes met mine for a millisecond before they fluttered closed, and his breathing evened out.
The air around me seemed to mellow now that he wasn’t in my personal space. Running my hands through my hair, I released a heavy sigh. My mind flashed back to Collin—someone I thought could be trusted. Someone who connected with me and made me hate myself just a little bit less. He’d never have the opportunity to hurt me again. That was a mistake I wasn’t willing to make a second time. Physical pain was one thing. But emotional pain…that was the rawest, slowest form of torture. Luckily, I’d seen his true colors before it was too late.
Stripping out of my hoodie, I tossed it on the floor. The cold air kissed my exposed skin, eliciting a series of goosebumps in the process. I kicked off my shoes next, positioning them near the door before flicking the light and clouding the room in complete darkness.
My phone was tucked into the band of my leggings, the cold from the glass sitting against hip bone. Swiping it free, I set an alarm for the morning, not trusting Monroe to wake me up for class. He probably wouldn’t remember our conversation and wouldn’t remember I intended on going to classes.
I navigated my way to the opposite side of the bed, making sure to keep a good distance away from him. The blankets were warm and welcoming, and the fact that they didn’t smell like cologne yet was a huge plus. They were my own. As soon as my head hit the pillow, relief enveloped me. It felt nice being back here without necessarily having to hide. Sure, it would look horrible if a staff member caught me coming to and from Monroe’s house, but at least none of us were in danger anymore.
My eyes grew heavy with every passing thought and before long, it was too much effort to even attempt keeping them open.
My lungs burned as icy water licked every part of my naked skin. Something brushed against my leg, making my pounding heart leap into my throat. The last thing I’d seen was Foster’s cold, angry gaze as he stood over the cliff-edge, watching me fall to my death with zero remorse. He had no right to do what he did. He had no right to kill Raven, and he had no fucking right to take my life. Like it meant absolutely nothing.
Dark spots danced around my vision as my limbs flapped uselessly around me, trying to find purchase against this deadly pool of corruption. Nothing but black surrounded me, making it impossible to see a damn thing. Somehow, that was even scarier. I just prayed that I drowned before whatever creature Myles had been rambling about found me.
My eyes snapped open, my breathing erratic as I stared at the mundane ceiling above me. The annoying tune of my alarm resounded throughout the room, making me wince. Glancing over, the bed was empty aside from me, and relief settled into my bones. At least I wouldn’t have to have that awkward conversation right now.
I reached over, snatching my phone off the bedside table and silenced the alarm before dropping my face into the palms of my hands. My heart rate wasn’t slowing down, and Foster’s eyes were permanently engraved into my brain. I thought I was getting better, but evidently not. Disgust and hatred were a deadly combination as they coiled around my intestines, reminding me exactly why I hated those boys so damn much. Not only did I hate them, but I hated myself for letting them touch me. For letting them control me.
Fuck them.
Climbing out of bed, I changed into a new pair of leggings and a baggy T-shirt, not really giving a shit how I looked today. Exhaustion took hold, reminding me that I hadn’t gotten much sleep last night. It had been late when I’d arrived, and then the whole thing with dealing with a drunk Monroe. Not to mention that realistic nightmare.
I ran a brush through my hair and tugged my purple locks into a high ponytail before shouldering my backpack and slipping on my tennis-shoes. I already wanted to get today over with.
My mind was a mess. I hated them. I wanted them. I wanted to forget. I wanted them to pay. What I really needed to do was make a damn decision and stick to it. Blowing out a breath, my gaze traveled upwards to the ceiling. I’d never been so indecisive in my life.
My phone pinged, sending a vibration through my palm and traveling up my wrist. I lifted the device and peered down at the screen. My eyebrows drew together as I read the message.
Rocky
Look in your bedside table. You’re welcome.
I glanced over at said table, confusion burrowing through me. I already had a feeling what it was. The thing I’d requested months ago. My heart rate increased from the mere prospect of going through with my original plan. It would undoubtedly destroy Foster. But that’s what I wanted, right? To hurt him as he had done me.
Things are different now, though.
My subconscious mocked me with a twinkling laugh that bounced around my skull.
He helped torture you, tried to kill you, and helped kill your friend. You’re just going to forget all about it because he started being nice?
The bitch did have a point. Sighing, I made my way toward the opposite side of the room and halted short of my bedside table. Opening the drawer, I reached in and retrieved the small bottle of pills.
Haliperidol.
Commonly treated for: Schizophrenia.
Well, he definitely didn’t have schizophrenia, so the drug should affect him more quickly. I shoved the pills into my bag and secured them within it before returning my bag to my shoulders.
The walk to the academy was monotonous. The icy air bit into my skin, sending a current of chills through my body despite my jacket doing its best to warm me. Students littered the parking lot, hanging out near their vehicles and talking amongst each other. Anxiety clawed at my throat. Having these pills in my bag felt equivalent to bringing a loaded gun to school. Nerve-wracking.
My stomach flipped with unease. If I even attempted to eat this morning, I knew my body would reject it and I’d be hovered over the toilet vomiting it all back up. Deciding that’s not how I wanted to spend the first half of my day, I headed to my first class—Monroe’s.
There were only a few students here when I arrived. Nameless faces I’d seen in passing, but no one who particularly stood out. They all seemed to know me, though, because as I made my way through the classroom to find my seat, everyone stared, looking at me as if I were a ghost. In a way, I suppose I was.
Shrugging my bag off my shoulders, I dropped down into my old seat. My gaze drifted around the room until Monroe was in my direct line of sight. His attention was fixed on a stack of papers sprawled out before him, his jaw tight, and his back to his chair. It didn’t take a rocket scientist to know that he was avoiding me. It was all in his posture.
I suppose waking up in bed with one of your students was a huge no-no. Good thing I stopped his advances before it could escalate.
People chatted quietly around me as more people trickled into the room. It wasn’t a huge surprise that I was back. I had gone to the cafeteria with the guys on one or two occasions since my disappearance .
When the bell finally rang, I bent down to retrieve my things, laying them out on the desk in front of me. The noise in the room thickened and continued to grow louder as the class filled.
Foster didn’t even bother to spare me a glance when he entered, making a beeline for his desk that was positioned diagonally from mine.
I’d only been here since the end of September, but it felt like a lifetime. So many things have happened. So many memories . At one point, those were things I wished I could forget. Hell, some still were.
My attention was snagged by Gia, who sank down into the seat in front of me. She wasted no time, turning so that our eyes immediately clashed. A look of surprise decorated her features as she stared back at me, eyeing me as if she’d seen a ghost.
“I-I heard you were back,” she whispered. “But I didn’t think it was true.”
I saw her in the cafeteria when Collin took me, but she’d been too distracted. I had wanted to run to her, to tell her how much I missed her, and that I was alive.
She blew out a breath and shook her head, not waiting for a response before continuing. “They found two bodies in the lake. I was worried that…” She trailed off, a grimace capturing her features.
Two bodies were found?
“H-have they been identified?” I questioned, knowing deep down that one of them had to be Raven.
Gia shook her head again. “They were unable to. Something about them being in the water for too long and having missing pieces of their bodies.” Her nose scrunched up in disgust. “I don’t remember exactly what they said, but who would do something like that?”
I could think of a few people who would do something like that. Absentmindedly, my eyes drifted over to Foster. His back was ramrod straight, and even though we were talking in low tones, he was close enough that he could probably overhear us.
“I don’t know,” I lied. If she knew anything about this, it could potentially put her in danger, just like it had done with Raven. Knowledge got her killed, and then it nearly got me killed. Gia needed to stay as far away from this as possible.
Gia glanced around the room, making sure no one was paying any attention to us before she leaned toward me, dropping her voice even lower. “Where have you been? What happened?” Her brown eyes were glazed with desperation, the need to know what happened to me and Raven. It felt fucked up keeping this from her, but she didn’t need to know. Not if the price of her knowing was her life.
Guilt clawed at my insides as I worked to form my next words. Lying was something I despised. Glancing down at my hands that were folded on top of my desk, I released a shaky breath. “I-I don’t remember. I woke up by the lake, completely drenched and naked.” The lie tasted bitter on my tongue. “Rocky found me and took me to Monroe’s where I’ve been staying.”
Gia’s eyes widened. “You weren’t—no one…” A nervous breath slipped past her lips, and she shook her head, trying to form coherent words. “You weren’t raped , were you?”
“I don’t think so.”
The flashback attempted to weasel its way into my mind, but I forced it back to the recesses of my brain with all my might and plastered on a fake, reassuring smile that I hoped she couldn’t see through.
Before she could say anything else, Monroe made his way to the front of the room and started taking attendance. Afterwards, he went over some shit that the class had been working on during my absence. His voice was monotone and bored, which only aided in making me bored and causing my gaze to wander around the room.
I had this period with Foster and Jessica. Luckily, the she-devil sat in the very back of the room, so we usually didn’t have to interact or see each other much.
When the bell finally rang, I bolted out of the room. Anxiety gripped me in its clutches, making my throat swell. This felt too normal for me. How could I go right back to normality after everything that had happened?
My shoulder hit the wall as I leaned against it. The hallway was bustling as students meandered to their next class, but I was frozen to the spot. I whipped out my phone and hit the message icon before finding Rocky’s name. An array of emotions bulldozed through me, giving me whiplash.
“You okay?” Gia’s voice carried over to me.
Silently cursing, I shoved my phone back into my jacket’s pocket before turning to face her. I should have at least made my way out of the building first.
“Yeah.” Another false smile.
Her eyes narrowed, like it was becoming hard to believe me. Hell, I wasn’t the most convincing person when it came to my emotions. It was probably written all over my face that something was amiss.
“I can walk you to class if you want,” she offered. The sympathy flashing in her eyes just put me more on edge.
“I’ll take her,” a strong, familiar, authoritative voice decided, slicing through our conversation. I glanced behind her, meeting Foster’s gaze for the first time since yesterday.
Annoyance oozed from Gia, and she whirled around to face him. “Not this again, asshole. Don’t you think she’s been through enough?”
His lips kicked up in amusement. “It was just an offer.”
I rolled my eyes, not wanting to cause a scene. Everyone already stared at me like I was some kind of freak. “It’s fine. I can walk myself to class. Thank you for the offer, though,” I added, my words meant for Gia.
“Oh, well…if you’re sure.” She frowned.
I couldn’t handle the smothering. Gia was an asshole, and that was being kind. Her overly empathetic and nice demeanor was only there because something had happened to me. I couldn’t handle it. Not right now, at least.
“I’ll see you at lunch.”
She nodded, tossed Foster one last heated glare, before sauntering out of the building altogether.
I gripped the strap of my backpack and shifted uncomfortably on the balls of my feet. “What do you want?” I demanded. “This is the opposite of leaving me alone.”
He jutted his chin toward the exit. “We walk and talk.”
Sighing, I stepped into stride with him and started off down the hallway with him in tow. Students walked past us, talking amongst one another. He was silent until we got outside, the cool air settling into our skin.
“So, talk,” I said irritably, losing my patience.
Things between us might have gotten a little bit better. By better , I mean that he wasn’t constantly insulting me anymore and didn’t seem to be as disgusted with my presence as he had been before. That hardly meant we liked each other, though. He was still a thorn in my fucking side.
“I need you to answer me honestly,” he began, his expression turning serious. On instinct, my spine straightened. “No bullshit.”
My eyebrows knitted together in confusion. “Okay…” I treaded, curious about what was so important that he had to ask me now—in between classes, making us both late in the process.
He pulled me to a halt once we reached my science building, backing me into a wall near the entrance. I glanced around the proximity nervously, wondering what the hell this was all about. I tightened my grip on the strap of my bag for the millionth time today.
His blue eyes were intense as they searched my expression. Like he was already trying to find evidence of a lie before even asking me the question.
“I overheard your little conversation with Gia,” he explained.
This only confused me further. “Don’t worry, I didn’t say anything, and I don’t plan on it. Can I go now?” I motioned to the science building impatiently.
“That wasn’t my question,” he deadpanned with an eye roll.
“Then spit it out, asshole. I have places to be.” Annoyance simmered beneath the surface of my skin. What game was he playing at? Was his intention to make me late for class? Was he running out of torture methods, so boring me to death was the next best thing?
“You and Rocky. He saved you.”
“Um…yeah. And?”
He stepped toward me, closing the small space between us. My heart rate accelerated at his closeness, and I was thankful for the support of the wall behind me.
“To be blunt, I want to know if you fucked him.”
I bristled, shock pulsing through my veins at the unexpected question. “You’re insane.” I breathed, pushing off the wall. He made no move to step backwards to let me through, so our chests brushed against each other.
He tilted his chin lower, his gaze never straying from mine. “Answer the question, Aspen.”
“Why does it matter?” I snapped.
“Quit fucking avoiding it,” he growled, snatching my jaw in between his fingers. A startled gasp fluttered past my lips.
My eyes narrowed into slits as I directed him with my own scathing glare. “I’m not avoiding anything. I just don’t think that it’s any of your business.”
His hand tightened around my face, making me wince. “The longer you drag this out, the longer it’ll be until you can get to class.”
Blowing out a breath, I decided to give him what he wanted. If this is what it took to make him leave me the hell alone, then so be it. “Fine,” I snipped. “I did .”
His eyes flashed with something furious; the sudden change in demeanor making the hair on my body rise. His grip on me was painfully tight now, and I just knew that the skin around his fingers was turning a paler shade than I already was.
“Did what ?” he snarled.
“Do I really have to spell this out for you? Yes. I fucked him.”
He released me instantly, a look of disgust crawling across his features like I carried some sort of disease or something. He stepped away, putting more distance between us. A frown captured my lips as I assessed him. What the fuck was his problem, now.
“You just gave me another reason to hate you, Aspen Palmer. I hope it was worth it.” And with that, he was gone. Taking off around the corner and leaving me more confused than ever.