23. Lena
CHAPTER 23
Lena
A t first, I’m denied seeing Cinita. Only family is allowed in, but when they check her records, they realize she doesn’t have a next of kin. One of the nurses has seen me in a show and is a fan. When I tell her Cinita was a former dancer in the show and I’m also her roommate, she leads me back to see her.
I hate hospitals. My brother may thrive in them, but they’ve always given me a sense of death.
The nurse explains that Cinita was found on the street in her current condition and brought in. She hasn’t woken up since. Which means she must’ve called Alek and me before she lost consciousness. Could we have helped prevent this? Hearing about someone being in a coma and actually seeing it are two different things.
When I step into the room, my breath falters. She’s lying in her bed, unmoving. Her eyes are closed, and the machines hooked up to her are beeping. Her cheeks are sunken in, and she looks nothing like the bright starry-eyed dancer I’d seen perform so many times on stage.
It’s sad. I might not know her well, but she clearly needs help.
Should I call Alek?
I should, right?
She never mentioned family, and if on her records she doesn’t have a next of kin, that means she has no one, doesn’t it? When we lived together, she mentioned she didn’t have anyone, but I didn’t take that in the literal sense. I always thought everyone had at least one person.
Even if she had stayed in the apartment longer, I doubt she would’ve depended on me either. I would never have been enough for someone like Cinita, who is clearly looking for escapism in all the wrong places.
I suppose because Alek has been hunting her down this whole time, he truly might be the lesser of two evils.
All my anger at him evaporates. This isn’t about me. Cinita needs help, and I’m above my own pettiness.
I find his number under “Mr. Happy” and press call. After I shooed him out last night, maybe he won’t answer. Or maybe he’s waiting for me to call regarding the gifts. On the second ring, he says my name, and a shiver racks through me. I like the way he says my name. It does something to me, which only brings the humiliation and anger toward him back to the surface, but I swallow it down. He shouldn’t hold any power over me. It was only a kiss… and an interrupted blow job.
“I’m at the hospital,” I tell him.
“What? Are you okay?” His voice lashes out quickly, and I’m shocked. It doesn’t even sound like Alek. “Lena, fucking hell, tell me which hospital.”
I bite my lip as I look at Cinita. She has no family, yet she has this man who has been searching for her. Even though I don’t really know why.
I’m sure if I were in her place, I would want someone here with me who really wants to be here. Despite how much I dislike the idea of him being here for her.
Whatever this pull he has over me, I need to untangle myself from this dangerous web.
“It’s not me. I’m here with Cinita.” He goes silent .
Finally, he says, “Is she alive?”
“Yes.”
“And you’re fine?” he asks.
“Yes. She’s hooked up to a bunch of machines. They found her on some street in a coma. They won’t let anyone in who’s not family. But the nurse likes my singing, so she made an exception.”
“Who doesn’t like your singing,” he mumbles. “No, she has no family.”
Why does he care so much for what happens to her? Is he in love with her? And if he is, then why the fuck is he kissing me?
You don’t kiss someone the way he kissed me if you’re in love with someone else. Surely, I’m right in that regard?
I close my eyes, frustrated that my mind immediately spirals into these thoughts. I need to step away from Alek Ivanov and not lean into these questions.
“What hospital?” he asks again.
I tell him which one and add, “I’ll wait until you arrive so I can bring you to the room, then I have to go back to rehearsal.”
He hangs up, and I know he won’t be long.
I sit across from Cinita, exhausted and chilled to the bone as I stare at her. She looks like a corpse .
Her long black hair is fanned around her face and over her shoulders. That eerie beeping fills the silence.
I never want to end up in this situation. It’s terrifying.
But, also, I’ve never known what it’s like to be truly alone. My parents might be harsh regarding my career, but at least I have them.
My brother loves me deeply and has always supported my endeavors.
I wasn’t like Alek and Cinita, so who am I to criticize their relationship?
I fight against irrational thoughts, trying to be levelheaded, but it’s not enough to bring the humiliation or anger down. No. No matter what, you don’t leave a woman on her knees for someone else.
I sit with her and wait until the door finally opens thirty minutes later. I thought he’d need me in order to get in, but I should’ve known better, reminding myself that what Alek wanted he would find. He’s dressed in all black, immaculate as usual, and it’s just fucking unfair. Those green eyes find mine immediately.
He looks me up and down, as if making sure I’m okay, and then his gaze drifts to Cinita. He walks around the bed and grabs her arm. I’m startled by the lack of gentleness and then I realize what he’s looking for. Track marks .
I thought he’d be gentle with her. Tender even.
But then, I realize he is able to touch her.
“Why does she mean so much to you?” I ask.
Now that Alek has who he’s been after this whole time, I know I’ll probably never see him again, and I just want to know why. What happened between these two?
“She has no one,” he replies, and his jaw clenches. “I’m her someone.”
“Not once did she mention you when she lived with me.”
“No, she wouldn’t have. Cinita loves trouble. I defuse her troubles,” he explains, and it’s the most he has ever told me about her.
Usually, it’s nothing but silence when it comes to her. It’s like she holds some type of key that’s only made for her.
Silence falls over us for a moment.
He looks at me now. “Did you receive my gifts?”
I want to laugh at the way he looks so vulnerable as he asks in this fucked-up situation.
“Yes, and I threw them out,” I say as I uncross my legs and stand. “Flowers and jewelry do not make up for leaving a woman on her knees, Alek.”
“Then what will?” he asks, and it sounds almost desperate.
A small piece of my heart tugs on that, and I remind myself that this asshole is all sorts of fucked-up, and I don’t have time to teach him how to act like a healthy adult when I’m focusing on my career.
“Nothing, Alek. It was a mistake. Now that you have Cinita, you don’t need me for anything else, right?” He goes to speak, but I continue. “I should go. Will you let me know if she wakes?”
“She’ll be mad when she wakes.” He touches her arm, and I see all the track marks there. She’s been using. He’s telling me she will be trying to find her next hit.
“Do you love her?” I ask, hoping that he’ll answer me.
I just need to know. Need that confirmation in order to truly be able to put this to rest.
Because for some reason, I’m struggling to walk away from him. I gravitate toward him, and it’s a dangerous slope.
He stares at me, and I wait for him to speak. To say something. Instead, he looks back down at her. Her face is bruised and puffy, and her arms are all black and blue. You can really tell she’s taken a beating.
“I killed her foster father. And the last man who hurt her,” he says, and I gasp. His eyes find mine. “And I will kill the one who did this.” I have no doubt he will. “But no, I do not love her.”
Hearing the warnings about Alek are one thing, but the outright confession that he’s killed, is terrifying. It runs a chill down my spine. I’d deluded myself into thinking of him as something else. A knight in shining armor, perhaps. But I need to view him as the predator he is.
Love or sex or anything else aside, Alek Ivanov is dangerous.
Now that he has his prize, he won’t fixate on me any longer.
Right?
I turn and walk out of the room.