Chapter 2
T he house was extravagant, but not as big as I thought Dustan would buy as his houses and apartments around the world were always expensive and over-the-top elaborate. Since his kidnapping, Dustan had changed. He lost his memory, and the doctors didn’t think he’d ever get it back if he hadn’t already. Dustan wasn’t the workaholic, uptight arsehole he used to be; he was a family man, devoted to his wife Cassie, and worked less than half the time he used to. I had to admit I’d never seen him so happy.
I’d given a half-hearted apology already, but I knew Dustan and Cassie needed a new one. I wanted them to know that I was going to work on myself. I’d snapped. I’d taken my anger and frustration at what had happened and kept happening to my family out on the people I loved. My brother and I seemed to be the only ones who got caught by the bikers, and when I found out that Dustan had been taken, I’d gotten mad, but when he was rescued, battered, beaten, and hanging onto life, I cracked. I wanted to be normal. I was sick of everything that came with being a Silverman. For six or so months now, I’d been stuck in a ‘fuck the world’ mood that I couldn’t seem to shake. But after reading what Ruby had been through, I knew my problems with the world and what it threw at me were minimal.
After meeting my soulmate the other day, I’d done a lot of thinking and reflecting on my behavior, and I was disappointed in myself for how I’d treated my family and cousins. I was not only ashamed but horrified at how I was with their wives, especially Cassie, Dustan’s wife, I’d never been so rude, cruel, and just plain nasty to anyone else. She had put up with it too, which had my heart sinking and guilt assaulting me. I’d caused a rift within my family by silently making my twin brother, Stephan, take sides, and through that his wife Jade had followed, and she had been best friends with Cassie, but I’d caused a strain. I really was an arsehole. I didn’t want my Ruby seeing me as one. She deserved better than that, and so did my family.
Yesterday I started seeing a therapist again. I’d seen one when Stephan and I had been taken when we were little, but it had been years since I’d spoken to one. I was determined to make things right. I wanted to be the man Ruby deserved, and not the arsehole I’d been lately.
It had been almost an hour since the guards at the gate had opened it and I’d driven up to the house.
Knocking on the SUV window had me giving a mental head shake out of my thoughts and staring at the house I had to go into, but was being a fucking coward. “You getting out, or you staying in the car and staring at the house all evening?” Dustan shouted.
Waving him back, I opened the door and got out, using my arse to shut the car door. “Procrastinating. I know I’ve been a dickhead.” I nudged Dustan with my shoulder.
He pushed me toward the entrance. “I hope you’re not waiting for me to deny it, ’cause you’ve been a douche. I think you could win the biggest wanker award lately.”
Dustan opened the front door, and I saw his wife Cassie waddling down the hall toward us. She was the one I needed to make things right with the most. I’d messed up big time. I knew if any of my family treated my woman like I had Cassie, I wouldn’t have been as nice as Dustan had been.
I’d known Cassie since primary school. We’d been best friends with her twin brother Scott. He wasn’t talking to me at the moment because of all the trouble I’d caused his sister. Cassie had always been a bright, bubbly girl, but she changed when she found out Dustan was her soulmate. I know I made it worse too, but I was sick of life being so complicated.
“Derick, are you okay?” Cassie huffed out as she made her way to Dustan and me.
My brother wrapped his arm around her and rested his hands on her ever-expanding stomach. She was pregnant with triplets. Dustan gazed down at her adoringly, and Cassie gave a contented sigh as she leaned back against him.
I watched and my heart soared. I could have that. I wanted that kind of love and devotion. Fuck, I really was a douche. “I’m sorry, Cassie.”
Cassie’s brow raised. “What are you apologizing for? What have you done now?”
Running my fingers through my hair, I resisted the urge to pull it out. This was not going how I thought it would. I thought we would at least have some small talk first, build up to me apologizing for being an arsehole.
“Nothing,” I said. “Well, for being a dickhead. I know I apologized before, but we both know I didn’t really mean it. I know I’ve caused a rift between you and our family, and I feel like shit that Jade and you aren’t the friends you once were.”
Cassie’s sigh was loud and drawn-out. “Come on, let’s go to the loungeroom. Standing for too long is an effort I don’t have to expend. Come tell me why you’ve had a change of heart, or more like personality.”
“Angel, he’s been a major wanker, but it sounds like he’s gotten a kick in the arse he’s needed,” Dustan mumbled just loud enough for me to hear.
Rolling my eyes, I follow them to the loungeroom, walking extra slow behind them because of Cassie’s pace. She wasn’t due for several months, but with her being pregnant with triplets she was bigger than a normal pregnancy.
Dustan helped Cassie sit on the sofa, fluffing up pillows behind her, and sat next to her, gathering her feet so they rested on his lap. I settled down on the single recliner that faced them both.
“You and I both know I never truly meant the other apology. I’ve been angry at what life has thrown at our family lately, and when Dustan got taken and hurt, I blamed you. It wasn’t your fault. I’ve been a douche, and not only caused a rift between you and Jade, but I know you’re not as close to our family as you should be because of my shit.”
The giggle that came from Cassie was dry, almost a cough. “The rift between me and Jade has more to do with the fact that she knew where I was the whole time, and even encouraged me to do what I wanted, but when it came time to stick up for me in front of your whole family, she didn’t say anything. To make it worse, she hasn’t done much to fix our relationship either. Sure, she’s apologized, and the last time I thought we were good, but she never calls or invites me out. So…” She shrugged. “Second, now that I understand a bit better why you felt what you did and why you lashed out, I feel a little better. I’m not okay with how you treated me, but I understand. I love Dustan, and now when I think of the time we missed because of me being stubborn, and truthfully a little childish, I get annoyed with myself.”
“I met my mate.”
The change in Cassie from serious woman to the one I remembered knowing almost all my life came to the surface, a megawatt smile spread over her face, and she jumped up like she wasn’t pregnant and bounced on the spot. A genuine laugh exploded out of her. She was always the happy, cheerful girl throughout school. Scott’s sister was known to be one of the bubbliest personalities I’d ever met. It was nice to see that side of her again.
“I’m so happy for you. When do we get to meet her?” She surprised me when she stopped bouncing, closed the small distance between us, and hugged me. After the way I had treated Cassie, I didn’t expect her to treat me like she was now. This just confirmed that I was the biggest arsehole ever to treat this sweet woman like I had. Cassie was one of the nicest people I knew, and she may not have done what I or my family wanted to, but she’d never been rude to any of us.
Holding her tight, I ignored the growl from my brother and kissed her cheek. “I’m so sorry for being the biggest arsehole in the world.”
Dustan yanked me away from his wife and glared at me. “You can apologize and keep your hands and all body parts off my wife.”
I looked at Dustan and realized that what I was seeing would be me and how I’d act with my own soulmate. For the first time in days, I relaxed and knew I may have a difficult road ahead of me, but if the love that I saw between my brother and Cassie was something I could have with my own soulmate, I was going to do whatever I could to have a love like theirs or even greater.
“Okay. No touching.” I raised my hands in surrender, or more like to show I understood he was laying down the rules and I would follow them. “Cassie is all yours, bro. I know I have no right to ask you two anything, but I need help with my woman. I…I think she needs a friend.”
Sighing, I sat back on the recliner. I had to tell them everything. I knew Ruby needed someone who would be a close friend that she could trust, and I knew that Cassie could be that.
Ruby
He was out there again. It had been seventy-two hours or so ago that I’d gone to a self-defense class and met a Silverman, and not just any, but the one whose brother my father had kidnapped. I’d first seen him two nights ago before bed, or at least I thought it was him as he was in the same car this morning when Hope had spotted it, calling it very pretty, and ran outside to look. When she saw Derick in it, she squealed her excitement. I caught her as Derick opened his door and carried her back inside, berating her for leaving the house without me.
I wondered why Derick was here watching us. He hadn’t been nasty to me or called me any bad names. He’d been nothing but sweet to Hope. I thought I would be scared that he was close and watching me, but I slept like a baby. Actually, I hated that saying because babies didn’t sleep well at all; I slept last night better than I had in as long as I could remember.
It was late, and I wondered if Derick would stay out there all night. I had no idea if he stayed there the whole night the last couple of days, as I didn’t check. It was only when Hope ran out today that I knew he was there.
“Mummy, Iza not sleepy.” Hope sat up in bed. I’d read her a story and promised I would stay here until she fell asleep. The only reason I saw Derick there now was because I was looking out the window, holding the heavy blackout curtains.
“Close your eyes and I’ll sing to you.” I leaned back in my armchair, dropping the curtain, and it fell back into place. I started singing Bloodstream by Ed Sheeran. By the second time around I knew she was out. Hope loved Ed’s music, and even though the lyrics weren’t really children friendly, she didn’t know what they meant yet, so I didn’t see any harm in it.
I resisted the urge to go check if Derick was still outside and got myself ready for bed. I was surprised none of the women here had called the police on him. The Silvermans were famous enough for people to know who they were, and that was the only reason I could think of why no one had reported him.
He was handsome and in great shape. The shirt he was wearing at the self-defense class had been tight on him and showed his muscular body. He had an amazing body, and I’d seen some nice ones. I tried to stay as far away from my father’s club as possible, but sometimes I couldn’t avoid it, and then I saw his men in all kinds of situations. My brother had tried his best to protect me, but my father was truly evil, and sometimes I couldn’t avoid seeing things I wish I never had.
Dustan hadn’t looked good after the women of the club got finished with him. I had stayed back and quiet. I’d learned never to bring attention to myself. I usually avoided the compound as that was where everything bad that had happened to me had occurred. I’d unlocked the door to the room Dustan had been held in and got the girls that owed me a favor to keep the men busy so it would help him escape. I had thought after Dustan escaped the police would come, but they didn’t come for months. That was why I thought I was safe and no one knew I’d let him out, and why I’d let the new batch of young girls go before they could be shipped off, but as I’d left, my father had known it. He used Hope to get me to cooperate.
I would have gotten my brother’s help, and if he had been home, he would have made sure I wasn’t put with the women that were sold. Human trafficking was something my father’s biker gang had been into. I knew the Silverman family were a problem as they had security and were public figures and hard to kill if they saw or got information they shouldn’t, and some of them had seen things they shouldn’t have and put some of the Devil’s Queens members in jail.
I wondered if Derick knew I had helped his brother. I’d talked to the police several times. I told them some of the things I knew. I was clear that I would help in any way I could. I hoped that Derick didn’t think I was anything like my father and his gang. I knew I didn’t have a chance at a romantic relationship with him, but I could dream. He was a blond god. Well, he wasn’t a god, but he sure did look like one with his blond hair, scruffy beard, and full lips. I’d never really had a crush on a guy, not that I liked girls either, but my experience with men wasn’t good. My first sexual encounter wasn’t anything I ever wanted to remember, but Hope was the best outcome from it.
Shaking my head, I tried not to go down the dark memory of how I lost my virginity. I looked outside and brought an image of Derick up. Breathing in deep, I let it out. He was so much better to think about. Hopefully, he was a nice guy. I’d like to meet one besides my brother. Derick hadn’t said much to me, but I did wonder why he was watching the house. Could he know one of these women? Shrugging, I smiled and slowly stood and made my way to the bathroom to bring a little pleasure into my night with Derick’s image on my mind.
I didn’t eat out much, but the therapist I liked had asked me to do this. Cassandra Silverman, Dustan’s wife, had requested to meet me. I was curious as Derick was still outside of the house I was staying in every night, and I’d seen him yesterday at another self-defense class. I’d committed myself to two a week. It hadn’t been as bad as I thought it would be. I hated crowds, but again, that had to do with my father, and I had never experienced anything good when a lot of people were around, and this gym was busy.
Hope wouldn’t go to the daycare there though. As soon as we arrived, she went straight to Derick. I wasn’t sure he would be there again, but he was, and Hope went searching for him as soon as we entered the gym. She’d never been like this before; she usually stayed clear of adults she didn’t know. She hid from my father and anyone in his gang, she seemed to know from the moment she was born who wasn’t good. Even as a baby she would cry and scream her head off if my father or his men tried to take her or came near her. So I trusted Hope’s judgement of people. I wasn’t bringing her along today because I didn’t know how Cassandra would treat me, and I didn’t want Hope to see anyone upset with me.
One thing I had done since living in the halfway house—or it should be called a treatment house, because we were all seeing therapists and trying to get back out into the real world after being treated like shit and nearly human trafficked—was saved money. So, I could afford to eat at a restaurant. I was usually on a tight budget. I loved Hope, but she was expensive.
The bus stopped six stores from the restaurant’s door. I only had to walk a couple of minutes to get to the fancy beachfront restaurant. I gave my name to the hostess, and she checked an iPad, smiled at me, and waved a waiter over. “Theo will show you to your seat. The other person in your party isn’t here yet.”
“T…thanks. Am I…I okay tt…to go sit and w…wait?”
“Yes, just follow Theo. I’ll send Mrs. Silverman to your table.”
I smiled back at the hostess and followed Theo.
My stomach churned, and I wished I’d brought something to play with to calm my nervousness. I left my earphones with Hope, but wished I’d brought them. Music helped calm me. I sat in the seat against the wall. It was a table that overlooked the ocean.
Picking up the menu, I put it down again and looked toward the exit, nervous. I opened the menu and glanced at the items listed. Holy crap, the prices were ridiculous. A meal alone was a quarter of my grocery bill funds for a week. I went through the whole menu and winced. Even a salad was eighteen dollars. Looked like I was drinking water and ordering fries.
I had money put aside, but I was saving it for bond for a new apartment to live in. I would love a house, but they were more money for rent in a good area, and their general maintenance was more than an apartment. My brother would help me if I asked, but he had his own problems right now. He was collaborating with the federal police to help them capture all the Devil’s Queens members who were on the run or had done wrong.
I gazed around and saw a woman walking with Theo. She was beautiful, with hair the color of the setting sun, a beaming smile, and as she got closer you could see her green eyes behind black glasses. She glowed, and as my eyes scanned lower, I saw she was pregnant. She stopped at the table, and that was when I noticed two men following close behind her. The smaller man, with black hair, pulled the chair out, and the woman sat on it.
“Hi. I’m Cassie.” She held her hand out.
I shook her hand. “N…nice to m…meet you. I’m R…RR…Ruby, but I…I th…thought your...r…r name was Ca…Cassandra.”
“My friends call me Cassie, and you, Ruby, are my friend.” Her smile was sincere, and her eyes were warm. “I know it was you who helped save my Dustan.” She rubbed her stomach. “I owe you.”
Shaking my head, I gave her what I believed was a smile too, but I was nervous, so I probably looked like I was constipated or in pain. “It… it w... was my f…family that t…took him.”
She waved her hand in a dismissive action. “Pish-posh. They’re not your family.” She reached across the table and grabbed my hand. “You deserve better. You can be a part of mine.” She caressed her stomach again. “I read that you have a daughter. Where is she?”
“I…I left her at…at the h…house with Fl... Flora.” Cassie was nice, and somehow I knew she didn’t mean me any harm. My stutter lessened the more comfortable and safer I felt. “Truthfully, I…I didn’t know how th…this would go and… and I didn’t want t…to risk h…h…her seeing someone yelling and being mmm…mean to me. I wasn’t su…sure how you’d be with mm…me.”
“Oh, you have nothing to worry about with me or my family. We all know what you did for Dustan. I’ve met your brother too. He told me all about you. I’ve been looking forward to meeting you. I thought I’d give you some time to settle after the ordeal you’ve been through, and then I found out that I’m having triplets, and my hubby barely lets me out of his sight. I love him, but since I got pregnant, he’s been smothering me. I have at least two guards always close to me, and he’s always making sure I eat and exercise. He won’t even let me lift the milk out of the fridge either. Argh,” she moaned. “So, this lunch is something I’ve been looking forward to. I just know we’re going to become the best of friends.”
I relaxed and knew I’d just met the sweetest woman. I had nothing to worry about.
Derick was out there again. He’d been outside in his BMW SUV every day this week, just watching the house. Hope wouldn’t stop talking about him. She’d even gotten out of the house again and tried getting to him. Hope now came to the toilet with me as I wasn’t risking anything happening to her.
I couldn’t stop thinking of Derick, and my daughter wasn’t any help, she asked about him at least a couple of times a day. He was so handsome. No, beautiful, maybe even too beautiful. I peeked through the window as much as I could without making it too obvious that I was watching him back.
Hope had been taking naps lately. She had stopped taking them a little before she turned one. It was like she figured out that we weren’t safe. I protected her the best I could, but I was always being watched, and my father’s gang knew how he treated me, so they didn’t give me any special treatment and were just as cruel as him. Hope slept now. She slept through the night the first night we were rescued and started napping the next day. So, nap time was my ‘perv on Derick’ time lately.
A knocking on the front door had me dropping the blinds and creeping out of my room and to the stairs. I knew it wasn’t my brother, Toby; he was down in NSW helping the federal police clean up the club. He’d call too if he were coming, because he didn’t want to scare any of the women. Toby was nothing like our father, but he was tall and built like an ox and his tats helped with his menacing image. Besides the women who lived here, the careers and the therapist, who all had keys, there wasn’t really anyone who came around to the house.
I was surprised when I heard the deep, sexy voice of the man I’d dreamed about since meeting him—Derick. I thought he’d been in the car watching and I hadn’t seen him get out. “Can I talk to Ruby?”
My whole body stilled. I even held my breath waiting for the answer. A part of me wanted to run down and throw myself at him, taking his lips to my own and climbing him like a tree. But the other part of me was terrified, not just about how he made me feel, but what he could do to me. He could tear me down with words, I knew my family deserved his hate and anger, but I wanted Derick to know I wasn’t like my father and his friends.
“I don’t know, can you?” Flora’s sassy voice snarked back at him.
Not wanting him to be scared off by Flora’s defense mechanism, I wiggled to shake away any lingering doubt about what I was about to do and strolled down to meet Derick. He was still on the porch, the security screen between them, but as soon as my gaze landed on him, my body froze again, and my throat became dry. He was so handsome. I was sure he got better-looking every time I saw him. I hadn’t been this close to him since I first met him at the self-defense class. He’d been at the second one I went to and the third. Hope didn’t leave Derick’s hold. He’d stayed away from me, but I could feel him watching. Studying my every move.
Clearing my dry throat, I mumbled, “H…hi. I’m n… not…t like them.” Groaning as the words left me, I couldn’t believe I’d blurted that out. I’d been thinking over what I wanted to say to Derick if I got the chance, and I did want to tell him what I’d said, but worded better, and after I told him many other things about myself.
Flora gave a hollow laugh, shook her head, and walked off. She was one of the few friends I had in the house.
Derick didn’t say anything for a while, and I shifted my weight from foot to foot. He closed his warm chocolate eyes and sighed loudly, scrubbing his hand over his face and the scruffy beard he had going on, which didn’t take away from his hotness. His eyes popped open, and I relaxed my body that I didn’t realize was tense, when the swirling depths seemed to slow and warm with a caring glint to them.
“I know,” he said. “I’ve investigated you and had my security team find out everything they could.” He took a deep breath, and I watched as he slowly released it. “I’m sorry. I should have come to you sooner. I’m trying to get past who you share blood with. Your family...” He shook his head. “I’m sorry. I know they didn’t treat you right. I know…” His words trailed off and he scrubbed his face with the palm of his hand. “Can I come in?”
Nodding, I reached for the security screen and unlocked it, opening it and letting Derick in. He stepped inside, his movements slow and deliberate.
“I’m not scared of you,” I stated without stuttering and lying through my teeth. I was terrified of Derick, but not because he would physically hurt me, but because his words could and how he treated me could also. For some reason I cared about what Derick Silverman thought of me.
His laugh was short and sharp. “I’d believe you more if I didn’t see you shrink back into yourself the closer I get to you.”
Rolling my shoulders back, I darted my gaze up to catch his eyes. “I…I don’t want to.” I inched closer to him and kept my shoulders back. “Tt…there is something about y…you. I c…ca…can’t stop th…thinking about you.”
The smile that spread over his face made me eager to touch him. With his blond hair and light olive skin, he looked like a surf model. The scruffy beard didn’t even make him look homeless like it did some guys, instead, it added to his hotness. If he tidied himself up, he’d have flocks of women following him around and throwing themselves at him.
Desperate to know if his hair was as soft as it looked, I reached out and caught his hair between my fingers. It was soft and silky. The blond strands held different shades throughout it. It was pretty. I could hardly believe how bold I was being, but he didn’t stop me or move away from me.
“Come to my family barbeque?” he said.
My fingertips touched his cheek when he spoke, and I swore sparks flew between us. We were almost chest to chest, and I didn’t feel like I was going to vomit, and my skin didn’t crawl. Most men made me feel like that, but not Derick. I wanted to be close to him. I craved his touch. My body knew though what men did, and its defense mechanism kicked in and I backed up, almost stumbling over my own feet to get away.
“I…I’m sss…sorry.”