CHAPTER 11
“Do you remember the second night I was there?”
“Yes,” Sarai said and immediately flashed back to that night in her mind how she’d done a thousand times before.
They’d gone to a club instead of a bar that night, and Gabi had remained seated while Sarai and her friends had danced.
Sarai had invited her to dance with them, but Gabi had declined, saying that she would rather watch the table for them.
Sarai had glanced over at Gabi a few times to make sure that she was all right, and she specifically remembered a woman approaching Gabi at that table, sitting down next to her, and talking to Gabi for a few songs before she finally left.
Sarai had gone back over to the table then.
“She wanted you to go home with her,” Sarai said.
“I told you that I could barely understand her. She had a thick accent, and that music was really loud,” Gabi replied. “I think she said that she was going home.”
“Uh… Yeah, that’s what I meant. That was her giving you an in. You were supposed to say that maybe you could go with her because it would be a little more private there and you could talk, but there wouldn’t have been much talking.”
“I never could tell when a girl was flirting with me.”
“But you weren’t exactly hard-up there, Gabi. Something about having experience with not one but two women by the time you were eighteen,” she teased.
“I met them in school, not at some club in a foreign country. Besides, she wasn’t even from there. She was from somewhere in Eastern Europe. She told me from where, but I couldn’t hear her, so I just nodded. When she said she was going home, I just said okay, and she looked at me weird.”
Sarai laughed and said, “Yes, because she wanted you to go home with her, Gabi.”
“Well, I didn’t want to go with her. I was there with you. I mean, with you and your friends.”
“Yet, you wouldn’t dance with us.”
“I was watching the table. Someone had to watch the drinks.”
“We would’ve just gotten new ones.”
“I’m not a dancer, Sarai. Never have been. I can do the fancy dances because my mom made me take lessons, but I can’t just go to a club, put my arms in the air, and let loose. I get too self-conscious. And back then, it was even worse. I felt so out of place that night.”
“You did?” she asked and took a sip of her drink.
“Yeah. I’d told you that I wasn’t a nightlife person – or, I guess, you said it – but I would’ve preferred to go back to your room and hang out. Your friends could’ve been there or not, but I would’ve been fine if it had been just us hanging out.”
“In my lame dorm room?”
“Why not? I’d had fun the night before.”
“You could’ve had sex that night, Gabi. That girl was hot. I saw her from the dance floor.”
“She was all right. And I didn’t go to Amsterdam to have meaningless sex. I went to explore the city and see the sights before I went somewhere else to do the same. I have never wanted meaningless sex.”
“Never?” Sarai checked.
“Not my thing.”
“And if you met someone who was only into that, you wouldn’t be interested even if you liked them as a person?”
“What? No. Why? Is that something you’re into now? I didn’t get that vibe from you. I don’t judge. I know Arlowe is kind of like that and that’s her choice, but I’m not into it.”
“When was your last relationship?” she asked.
“About a year ago. We were together for six months. I had two more before that. One was only four months, and one was for a little over a year.”
“What happened with that one?” Sarai asked.
“We were getting to that point where we should probably consider living together or, at least, taking another big step, but neither of us brought it up, and I got to the point where I thought that if we weren’t talking about those kinds of things, it might mean something.
We talked. It turned out that she’d felt the same way.
We’d burned out, I guess. It was amicable in the end. What about you?”
“What about me?”
Gabi finished her drink and asked, “Relationships?”
“Yes, I’m a relationship person; not into the whole casual thing that Arlowe pretends that she likes.”
“You think she’s pretending?”
“I think she hasn’t gotten over a girl she dated for five months eleven years ago and avoids a real relationship because of that, so yeah, she’s pretending.”
“When was your last relationship?”
“About two years ago,” she answered before she finished her own drink. “Eight months. I had a few before that.”
“Yeah?”
“One in college. My first real girlfriend. We ended before I went to Amsterdam. Together for about a year and a half before that, though. One right after college, but it only lasted a few months. One was a couple of years later. That one was close to a year.”
“And?”
“And one night, she got really drunk and proposed.”
“What?” Gabi chuckled.
“She had a ring and everything. I was sober, though, so I told her that she should do that again in the future, when she was, too. She took that hard, and well, when we talked about it the next day, she told me that she was ready to get married and settle down. I told her that I wasn’t and that it had come out of the blue because we hadn’t talked at all about taking that step.
We weren’t even living together. She was upset and broke up with me. ”
“She wanted to marry you one day, and the next day, she just ended it?”
“Talk about whiplash; I know,” Sarai said.
“I had one more after her – the one that lasted eight months – and she was great, but she didn’t understand why I cared so much about this company and our work.
I missed a couple of date nights because of late meetings, and one day, she got fed up and told me that it was over. There hasn’t been anyone since.”
“Hey there,” Jo said, walking over. “I’m off, so here’s the check, but if you want anything else, you can ask Marcus at the bar.”
“Okay. Thanks,” Sarai replied with a smile.
“And I’m off here, but…” Jo continued. “I was thinking about going to Blue if you’re interested.”
“Blue?” Gabi asked.
“It’s a club,” Sarai explained.
“I’ll buy you a drink,” Jo added to Sarai.
“Thanks, Jo, but I think I’m going to pass. I’m here with Gabi, and then, we’re going home.”
“Home?” Jo asked.
“Yeah, home,” Gabi stated, giving Jo a smirk. “Where we live… together.”
Sarai lifted an eyebrow at her, wondering where that had come from, but she kind of liked the sound of it, and she definitely liked the look on Gabi’s face when she’d said it.
“I didn’t know,” Jo replied.
“Know what?” Sarai asked.
“That you were living with someone. I thought–”
“Here you go,” Gabi cut her off, holding up her card with the check. “You can take this.”
“I’m off the clock, but I’ll hand it to Marcus for you. He’ll take care of it.”
“Great. Thanks,” Gabi told her with a fake smile that Sarai thought even a stranger like Jo could see through, and she wanted to laugh but held it in.
When Jo walked off, though, Sarai couldn’t hold it in any longer, and she laughed at Gabi.
“What?” Gabi asked.
“Nothing. You really don’t like her, do you?”
“Not really, no.”
“Why not? She’s nice.”
“I don’t know. I just don’t.”
Jo then brought back the padfolio to their booth and set it down on the table closer to Gabi before she looked Sarai’s way.
“I’ll see you around, Sarai.”
“Have a good time at Blue,” she replied.
“Yeah, thanks.”
Jo looked a little confused, but she left the bar through the front door a second later, and Sarai returned her gaze to Gabi, who was stealing one of the nachos that Sarai hadn’t been able to finish.
“What made you want to talk about that last night in Amsterdam?” she asked.
“I don’t know. You had a rum and Coke that night, too, so I guess it just reminded me of that night. In the bar on that first night, you had beer.”
“You remember what I drank?” Sarai asked, liking the idea of Gabi having so many memories of their shared weekend so many years later.
“It wasn’t hard. It was beer and a rum and Coke, Sarai.” Gabi chuckled and stole another chip covered in cheese and green onion. “These are really good.”
“No, they’re really cold now.”
“I guess I like cold nachos, then.”
“Good nachos are like the one thing I know how to make really well.”
“Nachos? Of all things?” Gabi asked.
“I can sort of cook, but nachos are my jam. I don’t make them often because they’re a lot of work and I can’t ever finish them all, so I usually ask everyone if they want some and then make a big batch for all of us to share while we watch something in the living room.”
“Well, now that you know that I like nachos, too, will you make them again soon?”
Sarai leaned over the table and said, “Depends. What do you like on your nachos?”
“I don’t know. What’s on these?”
“Probably just cheddar-jack cheese, beans, green onions, and the guac. There’s usually sour cream, too, but I’m not a big fan.”
“So, your nachos will not have sour cream on them?”
“Is that a dealbreaker for you?”
“I mean, pretty much. Sour cream is the whole point of nachos.”
Sarai laughed a little and said, “I’ll put some on the side for you, then.”
“You’re a good person.”
“I usually make my own guacamole from scratch, and I add meat, too. I like ground beef, and I season it with this taco mix that I make myself. It’s really good.”
“What’s in it?”
“Oh, no. That’s a secret. You have to live at the house for at least a year before I even reveal half of the ingredients,” Sarai said.
Gabi pulled out her phone.
“What are you doing?”
“Putting a reminder for the day the lease is up for me to ask for at least half of the ingredients.”
Sarai smiled, but then, she thought about the fact that when Gabi’s lease was up, she’d be moving out of the house, and even though that was at least a year away, that thought wasn’t one she liked the feeling of.
“So, you just want to be here for a year?” she asked. “I guess I hadn’t thought about the fact that you signed a one-year lease. We’ve all lived there for so long; I kind of forgot that people usually leave a rental after a year or two.”
“I don’t know. I planned on having my own apartment, but the ones in my price range weren’t possible, so I’m here now, and I’m liking it so far.
I guess tonight is the first night I’ll actually be living with you guys, but I have liked coming over every night and having people around.
I didn’t realize that I was a little lonely before.
I don’t know if I’ll renew yet, though. I would still like my own place.
Or, honestly, I’d like what Violet and Stella have. ”
“The neck kisses?” Sarai joked.
“All of it. They seem really happy. I want that for myself: happiness with another person, coming home to them at the end of the day, just sitting in silence or catching up on work, or snuggling up and watching a movie. I want the date nights, the furniture shopping, the eventual inevitability of seeing each other pee.”
Sarai laughed loudly and said, “What?”
“Oh, come on. It happens to every couple. You always start out closing the bathroom door, but at some point, there’s that one night where you decide to risk it all and leave the bathroom door open and pee.
Maybe your partner asks you, ‘What the hell are you doing?’ and you make up some excuse like you really had to go, so you just left the door open, but then, it’s started.
” Gabi stole another chip. “From then on out, there’s a fifty-fifty chance that one of you is leaving the door open when you pee, but I guess that’s my way of saying that I want the whole deal. ”
“The eventual inevitability of seeing your partner pee?” Sarai said with a smile.
“The weekend errands, the toothpaste cap, the pimple popping for each other; all of it.”
“You make long-term relationships sound so glamorous,” Sarai replied, laughing.
“That’s the thing – they’re not,” Gabi said.
“Don’t get me wrong: they’re magical. Falling in love is great, and meeting the right person feels like a miracle, but you also have to want to have the day-to-day stuff, and sometimes, that stuff is less magical.
Sometimes, it’s trips to the post office or the dreaded DMV, but I want all that stuff. ”
“I guess I do, too,” she said. “And, well, I’d like really good sex to be part of that package.”
“Amen,” Gabi agreed.
Sarai then crunched on one of the remaining ice cubes in her glass and watched Gabi look down at the check that Jo had dropped off. She looked very focused, probably doing some mental math to decide on the tip, before she signed it.
“So, want to get out of here? I still have some clothes on my bed that I need to put away before I can actually sleep on it, and it’s getting late.”
“It’s, like, ten o’clock.”
“Sarai, if I wasn’t a big nightlife person at eighteen, what gives you the impression I’m that way now?”
“You invited me out.” Sarai laughed.
“For a drink, not to close down the bar like Arlowe, apparently, did last night.”
“She does that,” Sarai said before she stood up.
“You really think she still misses Eline?”
“I do, yes.”
Gabi stood and said, “Must have been some relationship, huh?”
She walked to the door and pulled it open for Sarai.
“I don’t know. I think sometimes, you can meet someone and know that it’s them. It doesn’t have to be a relationship. You can see that someone from across a room and just know.”
Sarai walked past her and onto the sidewalk.
“That’s kind of nice,” Gabi replied, following her out.
They walked to her car, and Sarai drove them home in relative silence, still thinking about what she’d just said.
When she’d seen Gabi for the first time in that train station, something had come over her, but she’d only been able to think of Gabi as some kid whom she’d been supposed to safely show around the city back then, so maybe she hadn’t recognized it for what it really had been.
“Well, this is me,” Gabi said when they got to her bedroom door.
“Funny,” Sarai replied. “This is me.” She pointed to her own door. “Have a good first night in your new house.”
“Hey, thanks for going out tonight. I had a good time.”
“Me too.”
“You don’t regret not going to Blue with Jo?”
“No.” Sarai smiled. “No regrets. Night, Gabi.”
“Night.”