Chapter Six #3
“I mean that even though it would probably be best if we waited so I could fully focus on Celeste, I don’t want to. I already know what you’re going to be in my life. I already know that I won’t be able to let you go. Do we really have to wait if we’re both okay with this? Why should we?”
“You mean we shouldn’t wait to be together?”
The smile Bastien gave Dermot was a little crooked, and the sight of it sent warmth all the way down to Dermot’s toes. He swallowed, telling himself that he needed answers before he climbed his mate like a tree. It was hard to resist the urge, though.
Dermot was pretty sure that Bastien knew that.
His smile widened, and he pressed even closer.
It took everything Dermot had not to say to hell with it and climb into Bastien’s lap.
Instead, he squeezed his hands into fists and buried his nails in his palms. The slight sting of pain was enough to calm him down, at least for now.
“Dermot,” Bastien said, his tone soft and gentle.
“I don’t want to wait to be with you. I don’t want to wait to spend the night with you, doing whatever you’re comfortable with, although I have high hopes that you’ll be comfortable with everything.
I don’t want to wait for us to live together and to bond.
Unless you have a reason why you want to wait, why should we? ”
“Because we only just met and I didn’t like you until three days ago.”
Bastien arched a brow. “Really? Or were you telling yourself that you didn’t like me because it made it easier for you to stay away?”
Dermot shook his head. “Even if that was the case, we just finished talking and clearing things up. Don’t you think it’s a little bit of a rush?”
Bastien squeezed Dermot’s hand. “Do you? Because if that’s the case, we can definitely wait. I won’t force you or push you into something you’re not comfortable with. I can only tell you what I’m comfortable with, and it’s everything.”
“What if I end up being like Parrish?” Dermot murmured. “What if, like Celeste, you regret being with me?” It was something he couldn’t stop thinking about, and he hoped that Bastien would understand.
Dermot hadn’t been rational when it came to his distrust of Kudlak and anyone associated with them.
He wouldn’t say that he’d hated Celeste, but he’d let his hatred of Parrish influence the way he felt about her.
More than that, Celeste regretted being with Parrish.
Dermot didn’t know if Parrish had forced her into it, but even if he hadn’t, she still regretted it.
She would still run as soon as she had the opportunity.
What if Bastien wanted the same once he got to know Dermot? What if he didn’t like what he found?
“Well, you’re nothing like Parrish,” Bastien said. “I don’t think you’re going to bond with me and use my abilities as a Krsnik to keep up the shields around the village or anything like that. It’s not like you can get much from me, anyway.”
“I’m serious,” Dermot told him, exasperated. “You were avoiding me as much as I was avoiding you.”
“I wasn’t avoiding you. I was giving you space because it was obvious that you needed it. Frankly, I was amused by how grumpy you were. Every time you saw me, you frowned. It’s cute. I wanted to pull that frown off your face until you smiled.”
Dermot rolled his eyes. He couldn’t tell if his mate wasn’t taking this seriously or if it really didn’t matter to him.
Dermot didn’t want to do anything that would make Bastien feel like he had no choice but to be with him.
It was what Parrish had done to Celeste.
“The bond between us matters, but not more than what we want,” he explained slowly.
“If you don’t want to be with me, I don’t want you to feel forced to because of the bond.
I don’t know how we’d manage it if we decided to go our separate ways, but I’m sure we could figure things out. ”
Bastien huffed. “How many times do I have to tell you that I don’t want to leave?
I do want to be with you, bond or no bond.
” He cocked his head. “Well, I don’t know if I would want to be with you without the bond, mostly because I’m pretty sure you would’ve strangled me eventually if you didn’t feel drawn to me, but I do now.
Whether it’s because of the bond or not, it doesn’t matter.
You’re my mate, and I want you. I want to sleep with you.
I want to live with you. I want to bond with you, even though now probably isn’t the right moment to do so because I’m emotional and worried about my sister.
Celeste is going to be pissed that I decided to do this without consulting her first, but she’ll also be happy for us as soon as she’s back.
I know we’ll get her back. We would even if we didn’t bond, but with you by my side, I can do anything. ”
That was putting a lot of faith in Dermot, and he hoped that Bastien wouldn’t regret it. It was clear that nothing he could say would change Bastien’s mind, though. Bastien was clear. He wanted Dermot, and since Dermot wanted him, why should they wait?
He leaned closer. He didn’t dare take the last step, but luckily, he didn’t have to.
Bastien’s eyes lit up as soon as he realized what Dermot was doing, and he pressed forward, too.
When their lips met, Dermot knew he’d made the right choice.
Unlike Celeste, he would never regret giving himself to his mate.
How could he? Bastien was nothing like Parrish, and even more than that, this felt right. It felt like it was supposed to happen.
It was.
* * * *
BASTIEN HAD KISSED plenty of people in his life, but nothing had prepared him for kissing his mate.
It was the bond. It made everything feel more, and how could it not?
It felt like the press of Dermot’s lips reverberated through Bastien’s entire body, and it made him want to pull Dermot closer and never let go.
He’d felt the pull of the bond from the beginning, but he’d been patient.
He’d given Dermot time and space, and he didn’t regret it because it had brought them here.
Dermot kissed him carefully at first, as if he was waiting for Bastien to change his mind. Bastien understood why, considering everything, but that fear went both ways. What if Dermot decided he couldn’t trust Bastien after all?
Bastien had trusted his mate from the beginning. It was the situation he hadn’t trusted, and it was still messy and complicated. None of it was gone. Celeste was still out there, and Parrish was still a problem.
But it felt like, maybe, everything would be all right.
“You’re thinking too much,” Dermot murmured against Bastien’s lips.
“You’re one to talk,” Bastien said.
Dermot laughed softly. Maybe they were both overthinking things.
Bastien reached up to cup Dermot’s face in both hands, using the hold to tilt it, and kissed him again.
Dermot made a soft sound against his lips and his hands found Bastien’s waist, pulling him closer, and Bastien went willingly.
He’d been wanting this for days, hell, since the first moment he’d looked into Dermot’s narrowed, suspicious eyes and thought, oh.
They found their way to the bedroom, stumbling down a short hallway, and Bastien had never been so glad that the houses in the village were small in size and that this one was on one level.
The bedroom was simple, but it felt very Dermot.
It smelled like him, and Bastien thought he could be very happy here.
He already was, even after everything.
Dermot was watching him with those careful eyes of his, but Bastien was starting to get to know him. There was want there, but there was also the shadow of uncertainty under it. Bastien leaned in and pressed his lips to Dermot’s jaw, his cheek, then to the corner of his mouth.
“I’m not going anywhere,” he said quietly. “I promise. And I promise that no matter what, I won’t abandon you. You’re my mate, Dermot. That means something to me.”