15. Chapter 15
Harley
Whatever Father Cruz had said to Kingsley, it had caused a dramatic shift in him.
He still spent every night either outside the guesthouse, or, when it rained, in the hallway.
But he didn’t initiate any conversations and didn’t banter, even when I prodded him.
He was distant, almost cold. And although I knew it was for the best, I felt lonely and missed him.
So much that it hurt. Especially every time he looked at me with a longing that stole my breath.
One night when I couldn’t sleep because it was way too stuffy in the guesthouse, I snuck outside. A blanket of stars stretched over me like I’d never seen before. I held my breath as I stared up at the millions of twinkling lights. Wow, God. Just, wow!
I kept walking with my head tilted back. Glam City’s lights always polluted the night sky, but up here—
My feet caught on something, and I pitched forward. Despite all the flailing, gravity took over and I knocked into the ground. Moaning, I rolled over.
“Harley, are you okay?” Kingsley’s low voice came from right beside me. All I could make out of him was a dark shadow.
A giggle broke out of me. “Yup. Sorry, I didn’t see you there. I was too busy eyeballing the stars.”
“Come on.” His warm, calloused hands brushed my bare arms. Goosebumps rippled across my skin. The man had no idea what his touch did to me. Holding me with a firm grip, he pulled me to my feet. “You should go back inside.”
“It’s too hot in there. I’m gonna sleep out here with you.”
For a long moment, he said nothing, literally crickets filling the silence.
“Don’t worry, I won’t touch you. I can sleep on the other side of the guesthouse—”
“Absolutely not. You’re staying here. C’mere.” He sat down and patted the spot next to him.
“Are there any spiders?”
“Once woke up to one crawling across my face.”
“Yuck, did you have to say that?” I shuddered. “Nuh-uh, you creepy little monsters. There ain’t no crawling across my face happening.”
Kingsley’s low chuckle was lethal. “I’ll fight them off for you if that makes you feel better.”
It did. Grateful I could stay near him, I settled in the cool grass. I stretched out on my back next to him—making sure we didn’t touch—and stared into the sky. A deep sigh escaped me. “It’s absolutely breathtaking.”
“It is. Tons of shooting stars tonight.”
“Really?”
“Yeah. Just keep watching and you’ll catch one.”
Although Kingsley was within reach, and although I yearned to snuggle up to him, I kept my hands to myself. “I used to go camping all the time with my parents. We’d sit around a bonfire and come up with scary stories. Make s’mores. Count shooting stars.”
“Sounds perfect.”
“It was. I miss them.” Guilt niggled at me for not having called them in a while. The reception was spotty up here, but maybe I could try tomorrow. “What were your vacations like?”
Kingsley sniffed. “Luxurious. We usually flew some place with our private jet. Skiing in the Swiss Alps, beach vacation on the Bahamas, shopping trip in Singapore. Everyone hated it.”
“How can you hate a vacation like that?”
“Because it’s the—”
“Shooting star!” I slapped a hand over my mouth because I’d yelled way too loudly. “Shooting star,” I whispered.
There was this low, rumbling chuckle again that slipped right under my skin. “Yup, saw it, too.”
“Sorry, what were you going to say?”
“It’s the company that makes a moment special, not the place or amenities.”
“Fair point.” I worried my lip. “Where would you go now if you could choose?”
“Nowhere. I love this place and its people.”
“Be honest with me.”
Kingsley shifted. “You really want to torture yourself with the truth?”
Apparently so. Maybe I was a sucker for pain, but I wanted to know his thoughts. “Yes.”
“Everything?”
“Everything.”
He cleared his throat. “All right. Place doesn’t matter as long as I get to be with you. No restrictions. No rules.”
A shiver rippled down my back. “I’d like that. A lot.” Especially the no-restrictions part.
“We’d do the same thing as now—stargazing.
But I’d hold you in my arms so I could feel the warmth radiating off your body and smell your flowery shampoo.
Feel the shape of your curves. And then we’d talk about everything and nothing.
About how God has blessed us in our lives.
What drives us. Our fears. Our dreams. And we’d lose all sense of time. ”
My breath stalled as a wave of emotion crashed over me. “Why are we doing this to ourselves?” I whispered, not able to hold back the tears. “It breaks me, Kingsley.”
“I know.” His voice sounded hoarse. “Me, too.”
I suppressed a sob. Why, God? Why does this have to be so unfair?
“Hey, it’s okay.” Kingsley’s warm fingers brushed mine as he interlaced them.
I rolled over and clung to his arm. “What exactly is God doing with us? Why does He give us this longing for each other even though it’s so wrong?”
“I don’t know, Sweetheart. I don’t know.”
For about the hundredth time tonight, my breath caught. Sweetheart. He’d given me a pet name?
The tears came harder until I couldn’t control the sobs anymore. “I feel so lonely. I know that God is with me, but I’m still hurting so bad.”
A strong arm came around me. When Kingsley pulled me into his side, I clawed my fingers into his habit over his chest. He started to chant, and I closed my eyes, relishing his embrace.
His woodsy scent. The sound of his beautiful, deep voice.
Although I didn’t understand Latin, God’s presence nearly overwhelmed me.
How was this possible, if He was against what we were doing here?
After another song, I calmed down.
“How are you feeling?” Kingsley asked.
“Better.” I snuggled against him. “Thank you.”
He cupped my jaw and tilted my head towards him. Something brushed against my forehead.
His lips. He’d just kissed me.
He pressed another kiss to the tip of my nose. Then the corner of my mouth. Our breath mingled.
My heart went into overdrive. Do it. For real this time.
I slightly angled my head to the side, and our lips met. First only briefly, then longer. So much better than the first kiss. I let go of his habit and slid my fingers into his hair. Gripped it and deepened the kiss.
Kingsley grunted. He pulled back, his breath dusting my lips.
“Sorry,” I whispered. “I didn’t mean to cross any—”
He captured my mouth again, and this time, it was him who went for a deep kiss. His hand wandered down my side, stopping where my T-shirt had ridden up over the waistband of my shorts. Heat and ice alike rippled through me when his fingertips brushed my bare skin.
A whimper escaped me when he let me go. Please don’t stop. I need you.
Something clinked. The prayer beads. He was removing his belt.
Not even a beat later, his hand returned to my skin. My mind clouded by the second, his touch and kiss sucking me into a vacuum of ecstasy and passion.
Or maybe sin and perdition.