Chapter 4
God, the things he wants to do to Graham. His dominance rises inside of him and Graham whimpers, feeling the shift in Colton’s intentions, and responds. His resistance is gone. And what’s more arousing than a gorgeous, willing submissive eager to be had?
“Let me help you,” he says, but it isn’t really a question. It’s a command.
Graham shoves his thighs open wider, an instinctive offer, and Colton looks down, watches the patch of wetness grow at his groin.
“You need a hand, sweetheart. Would you trust me with that, too?”
Graham’s cock flexes in his pants—that’s how much he likes the idea of Colton being in charge of his orgasm. Graham presses the heel of his palm down hard against the head of his cock, hips rocking upward to get more pressure.
He’s a beautiful submissive on display, ready to give his pleasure to his Dominant, and Colton wants it.
Colton is going to take him apart. He’s going to make Graham scream in pleasure, he decides.
The door opens, the doctor comes back in, and Colton wills himself to calm down.
She takes the device and looks at the test strip.
She’s not happy. “I’m afraid he needs his shot now. It’s a hard stimulant and he gets tied down for that.”
Graham burrows into his neck, hiding.
“I’m not familiar with what you’re describing. What do you mean ‘tie him down’?” he asks, struggling to focus through the growing lust between them.
“He’s strapped to a bed with hand and ankle cuffs, and we administer the necessary drugs.”
Which raises the obvious question. How does he usually come? Graham doesn’t release with Dominants or else Colton wouldn’t be here. The toxins that cause the drop have to be expressed, so Colton would assume he’d jerk off, but if he’s tied up, then that isn’t happening either.
“I guess I don’t quite get the mechanics here. Do you let him go so he can touch himself or what? Graham, can she tell me?” he asks.
Graham nods.
“Director Fein has cleared you to know his medical history. I know I was skeptical before, but I am impressed. He’s much calmer than usual.
But his levels aren’t good. They’re getting progressively worse after each mission.
His ability to expel and release toxins is diminishing, which is why he now gets a stimulant injection.
The stimulant increases how much he expels when he releases. ”
Colton puts his hands on Graham’s back, as if that might protect him. This is all so sadly dysfunctional he’s having trouble wrapping his brain around it. “But he’s hard and leaking now. I can see it. Stimulating him seems almost cruel.”
She nods, agreeing with him. “He doesn’t want us touching him, and he’s against manual or self-release when he’s in drop.
He has difficulty ejaculating. The drug means he will ejaculate, because it increases arousal.
Then we can get him stabilized enough to even him out with medication over the next several days. ”
“You give him so much of a drug he comes untouched?” Colton’s just checking. ‘Cause it sounds like some bizarre form of torture. “Is that… good?”
Graham tenses and Colton presses his cheek against the side of Graham’s head, comforting him.
“No, not really. It’s quite painful, and it seems to cause him suffering. But it’s what he wants and we have to be mindful of that.”
He wants to tell her it isn’t necessary to give Graham a stimulant because he’s very fucking sure he can make Graham come so hard the man passes out.
But now that he knows how resistant Graham is to Dominants and even orgasms, he’s worried he’d be taking advantage of him when he’s vulnerable.
If he wasn’t dropping and compromised, would he be sitting here with Colton, close to begging for his touch?
No, of course not! Graham doesn’t and seems not to have ever wanted a Dominant to help him.
Which is bizarre. Every submissive Colton knows would do anything to avoid a crash and the ensuing days of feeling low, miserable, and lost. Of feeling run-down and aching as their bodies slowly get rid of the toxins.
It’s poison. Not releasing sufficiently isn’t just bad for one’s health, it feels awful, too.
But Graham isn’t everyone else.
Clearly, he doesn’t make the usual decisions a man with a designation would, and his past experiences have influenced that greatly. Colton isn’t going to be the one to make this worse.
“We need to get him to the infirmary. He has a special room with restraints so he doesn’t hurt himself,” she says.
It sounds horrible. Torture. Especially for someone so afraid of needles. Is this why Graham is so fearful?
“However,” she says, voice careful. “With such a strong Dominant nearby and with how he’s responded to you so far, I think the release he achieves with the stimulant might be greatly improved.”
“What can I do?” Colton asks, because he’ll do whatever they want. This is about Graham. “I’m here and he’s agreeable to me.”
“We can try to let him stay here with you and see if he releases?”
“Good. Let’s do that.”
“But he’s lashed out before, so we would need him to be restrained. He might hurt you.”
Graham exhales sharply against him.
“I don’t think he will.”
“I don’t either. Like I said, this is remarkable.”
“Graham, what do you want to do?” His voice is rough with emotion, just imagining this poor submissive alone, releasing against his will, strapped down with no one to help him. It’s the most dysfunctional thing he’s ever heard.
He mumbles into Colton’s neck. “I… I want to stay with you. Right here. Want you to help me.”
“Good. I have his restraints,” the doctor says, pleased. “I don’t like him in there. Human contact, touch, this would all be a lot healthier for him.”
“Graham, I’ll stay here with you. I’m honored, but are you sure you want to be restrained?”
Graham thinks about it for a few breaths. “I don’t want to risk hurting you. Better be… safe.” He puts his hands behind his back.
The doctor pulls out cuffs from a bag she brought in with her and snaps them onto Graham’s wrists. She pulls out another larger set and secures them around his ankles. A final set connects the two together. Like he’s hog-tied while sitting on Colton’s lap.
“It’s policy for me to leave you condoms and lubricant.”
“That’s not necessary,” he says.
She shrugs. Policy. She also leaves a couple of cloths beside him. “The drug will ensure he spends copiously. It can be a mess.” She readies the syringe.
Colton presses his forehead to Graham’s, and Graham makes a sound when the needle slides into his arm.
“You’re alright. It’s done. You were perfect,” Colton says.
Graham’s still breathing Colton in like he’s oxygen and they’re on the damned moon.
The doctor puts the syringe away and leaves them there.
Graham is quiet and very still. Eventually, he lifts his head off Colton’s shoulder and the way he lingers, his lips so close to Colton’s, makes it clear what he wants.
This isn’t about me, Colton reminds himself sternly.
Graham looks down at Colton’s lap. He swallows. “You’re hard.”
“I’m exercising restraint, not dead,” Colton says with a smile.
Graham blushes, glances at him and away.
So sweet and submissive that Colton has to distract himself so he doesn’t make assumptions and act.
His instincts are telling him to grip Graham by the neck, kiss him hard, bite his lip until he bleeds, and fuck him over and over again until they both come dry.
Which is not going to happen.
“Fair enough,” Graham says. He exhales shakily. “Thank you for staying. For doing this.”
“It’s an honor. And as you can tell, I’m into it. Not to be too forward, but I, uh, wish this was happening under different circumstances. Like, because you had a choice, and it wasn’t to avoid a bad drop.”
“You saying you’re not scared away yet? From a submissive that won’t let you grip them properly, can’t come, and is scared of pain?”
“That’s not…” He wants to say it isn’t true, but it kind of is, and he doesn’t want to invalidate Graham’s experiences and feelings.
“The grip requires trust, and I’m guessing you’ve had a lot of Dominants show you they don’t deserve trust. You are, apparently, going to come if we wait here long enough, and you’re not scared of all pain.
You’re scared of pain that mimics prior trauma.
That’s normal. So, no, I’m not scared away. At all.”
“You’re here because Fein brought you here,” Graham says, and he rolls his shoulders, the cuffs clinking gently.
The sound echoes faintly around the space, and it hits Colton with sudden clarity that this beautiful man is going to come while sitting on his lap, and any sounds he makes will be gloriously magnified.
He loves noisy partners. Keeping himself from succumbing to the lust between them is going to be difficult.
Colton clears his throat, attempts to shift the barest amount, his own arousal uncomfortable.
“Am I heavy?”
“No. You’re perfect,” Colton says.
Graham rolls his eyes. “You’ve already said that.”
“It’s still true.”
“It’s only been an hour, so you have plenty of time to change your mind.”
“An hour? Seems longer, I must say.” He runs his fingers through Graham’s hair, pleased when he closes his eyes in pleasure.
“Yeah? You feel like you’ve known me your whole life?” Graham mumbles, so relaxed that the defensiveness of the question loses a lot of its sting.
“No, I’m not trying to feed you a line or something. It’s just that this is… intimate.” He catches Graham’s gaze. “For both of us.”
Graham shifts again, right to left, forward and back, the smallest hints of movement.
“You okay?”
“Fine,” Graham says, blushing.
“We should talk about what’s going to happen while we can. I still can’t believe the cuffs are necessary. Right now, it seems unlikely.”
“I dunno. Not sure I’ve ever known how to do anything besides fight. And I hate the fucking drops.”
“So, if I touch you wrong, there might be a problem? What shouldn’t I do?”