Chapter 5
“It’s alright. I’m here,” Colton whispers. “You’re doing so well, baby.”
“I’m cold,” Graham whispers. It’s a sign that he’s dropping.
Colton kisses him hard enough to sting. “Give it up, baby,” he growls and nips at Graham’s lips until he whines, struggles, and finally goes lax.
Graham pushes himself off of Colton’s chest and looks down to see a puddle of come on the cloth. His cock is wet and shiny.
“Good boy,” Colton says and grabs Graham by the thighs, digs his fingers in, and Graham arches his hips, cock straining forward in need.
“Please!” Graham gasps.
“Easy. We’ll get you there,” Colton promises. He slides his hands to Graham’s ass, encouraging him to rock forward and back. “Slow, gentle.”
“Is this… is this what you’d want?” Graham asks, sounding broken. “Tell me. If I was—if I was really yours? And I was riding you like this? Is that—would you like it?”
How can Graham be so uncertain? So insecure when everything he says and does is perfect? When he’s gorgeous as hell? Every Dominant he meets must want to have him.
And then Colton’s lost in the idea behind the question. He can’t touch Graham, he can’t bury himself in the tight, welcoming heat of his body, but he can tell him what he’d do if he had the chance. And fuck, does he want to.
“If you were really mine? Oh sweetheart, yeah. You’d always start out slow and gentle on my cock.
I’m big, baby. We might train you up for it.
You’d come home from your mission and you’d already be wearing a dilator.
The moment you got on that plane to come home to me you’d start stretching your hole.
As soon as you finish one mission, you’ve got another. Getting ready for me.”
He kisses Graham, forcing his tongue into his mouth, and he can’t stop talking, making promises, needing Graham to know just how good it could be between them if there was more after this. Can he convince him to let them try?
“That’s all you’d be thinking about, sweetheart.
Getting ready for my cock. I’d come in you so fucking fast. We wouldn’t make it to the bed.
I’d fuck you against the door, breed you in the entryway.
You’d be so relieved if you made it to the couch before I shoved into you.
A hard breeding with lots of praise to get you as far away from a drop as we can.
The sooner you get my come in you the better.
Flood you up, and then get you all clean and fed, tucked up into bed. ”
Graham whimpers. “Would you… would you use me in the night?”
“You’d beg me to stop. Every time I woke up, I’d want to be in you again. We’d have all night. That’s when you could have it slow and sweet. If that’s what you want.”
“I wouldn’t want you to stop. I know it.” Graham’s breathing is frantic, his face is flushed, and he’s shifting on Colton’s lap, moving so his balls squish against Colton’s thigh. Graham grinds down painfully hard.
“That’s where you like it rough, sweetheart? Is that where the pain turns into pleasure for you?”
Graham drops his gaze, shy and sweet. His lower lip pouts. It isn’t a denial. “I didn’t think… I like it when you call me sweetheart.”
Colton groans, wanting him. “You’re a fucking dream, I swear. Should we help those pretty balls, sweetheart? My little honeypot.”
He jerks Graham forward and back with a hand clenched in his shirt and the other on his hip, guiding him into the position he’s convinced they both want.
Graham cries out, incoherent and lost as his balls are painfully compressed.
He keeps Graham there for an endless moment, letting the painful pressure build.
Graham is holding his breath. His cock leaks steadily, the answer to whether or not he likes the rough treatment.
“That’s what you need, isn’t it, baby?” Colton says and backs off, giving him a break.
Graham gasps and shudders. “Yeah. I do. I love it there. Like that,” he confesses, voice rough.
“I’d play with you all the time, Graham. Hurt you so sweet. I’d fuck you, roll your balls in my hand while you worked my cock, milked me for my come. Nothing but pain while you brought me pleasure. Would you be greedy for it?” he asks, leaning closer, lips brushing Graham’s as he talks.
“I am. I am. Anything!” Graham seizes hard, breath held, eyes closed, straining as he tries to come. There’s a ripple up Graham’s shaft and Colton thinks the man’s going to come, but then Graham collapses forward with a whimpering cry.
Colton checks. There’s a wet spot but no big release. He gently pets the inside of Graham’s thigh.
“Are you trying already, honey?” he asks, even though he knows the answer.
“Yeah. But I can’t. It just… it just won’t.
” There’s a hint of frantic worry in his tone.
He’s afraid, Colton realizes. How could he not be?
He’s known to the doctors and his bosses as unable to find release, as needing to be hospitalized and drugged to function.
When so many other soldiers suck and fuck and get their needs met quickly and easily, his have become a nightmare.
“Fuck, I want you,” Colton says, knowing he’s the answer to Graham’s dysfunction.
He slides his hand to Graham’s neck, gripping him before he remembers. He yanks his hand away. “Sorry.”
Graham moans in pleasure. He’s so out of it he doesn’t seem to notice. And even though he said he didn’t want to be gripped, it’s obvious he does.
Colton kisses him again, sets his hands on Graham’s ass, and forces him to rock forward and back, working his balls again. “Try again, princess.”
Graham gasps and shakes with each movement. Tears slide down his cheeks. “More,” he begs.
“Good boy,” Colton praises.
“I’m gonna—” Graham breathes.
“Yeah? Are you gonna come for me?”
Graham leaks, his cock bobs, and Graham bites his lip hard, concentration focused as he tries to come. He doesn’t. He exhales sharply and lets out a sob. Almost instantly he’s straining again, arching forward and back in another attempt to come.
He gives up, collapsing forward with a sound that breaks Colton’s heart. His cock is purple, his balls large and swollen.
“You’re alright, sweetheart.” But Colton’s getting worried, too. The need and struggle are taking a serious toll on Graham. With each failed attempt to come, Graham is more disheartened. He drops lower, becomes weaker.
Where is the balance in this? Does he get so weak that the drug can finally do its work?
Graham kisses Colton’s jaw sweetly, reverently. Then he whimpers as he rocks and tries again. He’s trembling and his eyes are wet, red-rimmed and defeated, almost broken. Is this what it’s always like?
“It’s okay. You’re alright,” Colton whispers, pressing their foreheads together. He hates how alone Graham is.
“Touch me. Please, touch me. I’m—” Graham swallows hard. He’s ashamed. “I’m begging you now. S-sir,” he says, as if he’s never said it before. “Please? I want to try. I’ll be good.”
It breaks his fucking heart. “I can’t, baby. That’s not how you do things.” And he wants to destroy something because this is an utter disaster and no one should have to live like this.
“You’re not how I do things,” Graham whispers.
Colton can tell he’s thinking rapidly, trying to come up with a reason that would make Colton change his mind. “And how I do things doesn’t work well. This is just so I can be back in a week and a half. This isn’t… it isn’t good.”
“I’m sorry. I want to, but we can’t make that decision now.
You’re not in a place to give consent. Next time.
” He presses his lips to Graham’s, rubs his back and his thighs, wanting to settle him.
Graham would hate him if he took advantage and actually did what Graham was begging for.
The man wanted nothing to do with him an hour ago.
“No, fuck you. This is the only time unless you touch me right now,” Graham growls, twisting like he’s going to get off Colton’s lap.
Colton grips him hard on the shoulder next to his collarbone, and Graham shudders, his cock jerks, and Colton thinks this really is it. This will be the moment Graham goes over. And it’s clear Graham does too, suddenly changing focus and trying hard to come.
He gives up with an explosive sigh. There are more tears, and Colton can see and feel how ashamed and sad Graham is as he slumps forward onto Colton’s chest.
He presses a kiss to Graham’s sweaty forehead, and Graham swears at him again.
He isn’t sure how much of Graham begging for his cock he can resist. Colton shoves two fingers into Graham’s mouth to shut him up, and Graham opens his eyes comically wide in shock, then sucks as if his life depends upon it.
Graham moans shamelessly, whimpers, and rocks to and fro, willing his cock to spend. Another spurt of come but no release. Graham is in pain and it’s getting worse. He’s slipping away from Colton and into a downward spiral.
He can already tell how this will end: a weak release because his body is so worn down, a descent into a vicious drop, and Graham once again certain he’s a submissive that deserves to be alone.
He’ll look back at the one time he gave in to his urges, to how it didn’t work well, and he’ll never try again.
Graham’s misery pulses between them like a live thing. Graham is aroused, his cock weeping, but he’s dropping farther and farther.
If this is his normal, if whatever this drug can get out of him is all they’ve got, then Graham Knox is totally screwed in the most unpleasant way possible.
“Do something. Colton. Colton. Please.” To hear the man beg but not be able to do anything tears him up inside.
“Fuck. I’m sorry, honey.” And he is. He won’t do this again. This can’t be the best course of treatment. This shouldn’t even be legal. There’s no pleasure, no lust, just dropping. And what’s he supposed to do now that the scent of him, his closeness and dominance, are doing nothing to help Graham?
What if he’s making Graham worse?