23. Natasha
23
NATASHA
T here was something about loud music and power tools that really helped with the whole being-dumped-and-fired-all-in-one-go thing. The combination drowned Trent’s accusations from my thoughts as my focus narrowed to the jigsaw cutting through wood. The workshop was my happy place. Besides, who needed feelings when you held that kind of power in your hands?
Sold him out, my ass!
God! I worked hard for every single thing I had, even when that meant juggling three part-time jobs. As if I’d accept money from his mother of all people to stab him in the back! As if I’d ever do that to anyone, much less someone I—well, someone I cared for as much as I’d cared for him.
My hand tightened around the jigsaw, the vibrations shooting up my arm as my teeth clenched. I couldn’t believe him! I couldn’t believe this was my life. I stopped the jigsaw, staring down at the work-in-progress bookcase that was destined for Nana Dee. Or, at least, it had been. I had no idea if Trent even still wanted me to complete this furniture order, despite how much Dee might want it. Frankly, there was a big part of me that wanted to abandon the project altogether. But I didn’t want to be accused of taking more money or materials or handouts from this family, so it was probably best I finished the order. I could arrange for an outside company to transport it to Dee’s, and then I’d never have to have anything to do with the Saunders family again.
My heart beat uncomfortably in my chest, echoing the thump of the bass. The thought of letting them go—Trent and Dee and this future I’d started to envision for myself—sucked more than I wanted to admit. I’d set myself up to get hurt, and there was no one to blame except myself. But I’d been through this kind of heartbreak before and had managed to pick myself up. I could do it again. I didn’t need Trent. I was fine on my own.
Right?
Something cut through the sound of the bass, and I realized my phone was ringing. My first thought was that it might be Trent, and my heart lurched with a sliver of hope before I could remind myself that he’d told me he never wanted to see me again.
I turned the volume down on the music and crossed through my workshop to grab my phone, frowning at the caller ID.
“Hi, Jimmy?” I said, confusion bleeding through me. Why the hell would Trent’s little brother be calling me? Unless he wanted to curse me out like Trent had. I winced, half expecting him to launch into a tirade. I really wasn’t in the mood to be berated by another Saunders today.
“Natasha?” a trembling voice replied. “Hey, uh…hi. Do you think you can come get me?”
Okay, what? That sounded like a horrible idea. And get him from where? What was going on? “I don’t know if that’s?—”
“P-please,” he stammered, sounding incredibly upset.
I started getting worried. Why was Jimmy crying in the middle of a weekday afternoon? “Are you okay?” I asked.
“ Please come get me,” he straight-up begged.
I rubbed at my forehead. “Jimmy, what’s going on?”
“I was trying to get into the city,” he said, talking a mile a minute, “and I hitched a ride as far as…Fuck, where am I? I don’t even know…Shit! Shit, shit, shit !” He took a ragged breath. “Natasha?—”
“Okay,” I said, deciding this wasn’t the time to get answers. He wasn’t making any sense and obviously getting more upset by the second. I still wasn’t sure what had him so worked up, but it was clear that trying to get information from him right now was only making things worse. “Just breathe.”
“I’m sorry for bothering you, but I didn’t know what else to do.”
“Hey, none of that. You’re not a bother. Definitely not.” I still had no idea what was going on, but I wasn’t going to let him tear himself up over it, whatever it was. Now was the time for support. And I didn’t know how else to support him other than to go and get him. “Can you send me a pin with your location?”
“Yeah,” he sobbed. “A pin. I…I can do that.”
A moment later, a text came through with his location. “Perfect. That’s great, Jimmy. I’m on my way. Just stay put.” He agreed not to move, and I hung up, whipping around the workshop to find my house keys and my purse. I was well aware of how ironic this was—Trent breaks my heart, and now I was rushing off to rescue his little brother. But even though I might be furious with Trent for the things he’d said, Jimmy was a sweet kid who needed help, and I’d made him a promise that I’d be there for him. I wasn’t going to be someone he couldn’t trust.
I locked up the workshop and darted across the street to the neighbors’, knocking repeatedly until a woman answered.
“Hi, Myra!” I said, more out of breath than I’d realized.
“Natasha! You look frantic. Are you okay?”
I was friendly-ish with Myra and her husband, Rick. They’d commissioned a new kitchen table from me last year and had been thrilled with what I’d delivered. Hopefully, that would give me enough leeway to get away with what I was about to ask.
“I have a big favor to ask. Do you think I could borrow your car? It’s a bit of an emergency.”
“Well, sure,” Myra said, jumping into action. “Of course. Let me grab the keys.” She hurried into the house and returned with a key ring strung over her finger. “Rick just filled up on gas, so it should be good to get you wherever you need to go.”
“Thank you!” I said, already backing down the steps. “I’ll return it with a full tank! Promise.”
Myra waved me off. “Don’t worry about it.”
I unlocked the car, hopped in, and plugged Jimmy’s location into my phone, heading out of the city.
I found him on the side of the road in the middle of nowhere halfway between Princeton and New York. He didn’t even have a jacket on. Jimmy, what the hell were you thinking?
I pulled over on the shoulder where he was sitting and popped the passenger door open for him. Jimmy scrambled to his feet and climbed into the car, holding his hands out to the vents, soaking in the heat.
“Holy shit,” I said, noting the shiner on his cheek. I took him by the chin to inspect the damage. “What happened?”
He winced at my touch, and I released him. “I needed a lift to the city, to get to the hospital for Nana Dee.”
“Wait…what? Dee’s in the hospital? When did this happen?”
“Not long ago,” Jimmy said. “She collapsed. You didn’t know?”
I shook my head, getting back on track. “That doesn’t explain why you look like you’ve just stepped out of a boxing ring.”
Jimmy’s face screwed up, on the verge of tears. I patted his arm. “It was so last second, and I couldn’t arrange any sort of ride with a friend, and I figured waiting around for someone to come out here to get me then drive me all the way back to the city would take too long.”
“So?”
“So…I tried to hitch a ride to New York.”
“God, Jimmy! You couldn’t just get an Uber?”
“My score’s really low,” he mumbled. “After I partied a little too hard and got sick in an Uber a couple of times. But I figured hitching a ride is not that different, you know? And the guy seemed nice enough, at first. But after he drove me partway, he beat me up and stole my wallet before kicking me out of the car.”
“What!” I massaged my eyes. This was so ridiculous I almost didn’t believe it. Except Jimmy was sitting next to me, a nasty bruise darkening on his cheek. “Did you at least tell your brother? And does he know you’re okay?”
“I was too embarrassed to call Trent after it happened. He’s already got enough on his mind, looking after Nana Dee. He shouldn’t have to put up with my BS. Like who the hell gets jumped nowadays? I’m such an idiot.”
“You’re not an idiot,” I assured him. “You were the victim of a crime. We have to file a police report.” God, too much was happening right now.
“No, we have to get to the hospital,” Jimmy insisted. “I don’t care about that douchebag or talking to the police right now. Screw him. I’ll be fine.” He gave me a small, pained smile. “I’ve got you looking out for me, right?”
“You’ve got me,” I agreed, starting the car and making a U-turn, heading back to New York. “God, I can’t believe Dee collapsed. Do you know how bad it is?”
Jimmy frowned. “I can’t believe Trent didn’t tell you.”
“We’re not exactly speaking right now,” I admitted. This was the last thing I wanted to drop on the kid considering what was going on, but I couldn’t lie to him.
“What do you mean ‘not speaking’?”
“We sort of broke up earlier today.”
Jimmy let out a strangled sound, gaping at me. “You’re joking! You two were so perfect together. What the hell did he do?”
That got a pathetic little laugh out of me. “I think it’s more what I did,” I said. Trent had said some awful things to me, but this was his kid brother, and I couldn’t make him out to be the bad guy. Not completely. I had a role to play here too.
“Tell me what happened?” he asked. “At least it’ll distract me from the throbbing in my cheek.”
I glanced over at him, pressing on the gas a little. “We’re getting that checked out when we get to the hospital. Something might be broken.”
“Sure. Whatever. Now, back to the story.” Jimmy looked at me pointedly.
I sighed, mustering up the energy to relive this morning. I started with the moment Trent burst into my office. When describing it all, I tried to gloss over some of the more hurtful things, but I wasn’t sure it made any sense in the end. It didn’t completely make sense to me —it all just felt nightmarish.
Jimmy nodded along, looking less confused than I’d expected, almost like he was putting the pieces together. “Mm-hmm,” he said flatly. “So, you’ve been in touch with my mom?”
“I—yeah,” I admitted. “The world’s biggest mistake, apparently. But not because I was selling her secrets. I’d never do anything like that. I swear.”
“Of course you wouldn’t,” Jimmy was quick to agree, sounding so very certain that it made my chest ache. “Mom lied about that part just to piss Trent off. And it clearly worked. He still lets them get under his skin so easily, and she knows how to exploit that.”
“I don’t understand why Lara would do any of this.” The thought of a mother exploiting her child was unfathomable to me.
“Look,” Jimmy started. “It’s a lot, the crap Trent and I have been through with our parents. It was bad enough for me, but he got it way worse than I ever did. I was the ‘good’ kid—which meant, at least, that when my parents weren’t ripping into each other and into Trent, they mostly left me alone. But I still got a front-row seat. And I know from the outside looking in, everything feels fixable. Nobody wants to believe that a family’s really broken. But that doesn’t stop it from being true.”
“What happened ?” I asked. “I mean, I know they got a divorce, and I hear it was pretty messy, but just how bad did it get?”
“Very bad,” Jimmy said with a shrug. “But the divorce wasn’t actually when things got screwed up. Truth be told, I think things might have been pretty awful all along. From what I’ve heard, Dad was always a serial cheater. Mom knew about it, and I guess it pissed her off, but instead of, you know, getting counseling or trying to fix things or even just dumping his ass and getting on with her life, she threw herself into work. She and Dad were running Saunders Furniture together, and the company was all that mattered to her.”
“What about being a mom?” I asked softly.
Jimmy snorted. “Yeah, that wasn’t on her priority list at all. Not after having me, anyway. I was the ‘oops’ baby after they went on a second honeymoon to try to save their relationship. But Dad went right back to cheating, and Mom gave up on him after that. She cared about her work, about her position of power, and about keeping up appearances. Nothing else. As long as Trent and I got good grades and didn’t get into trouble, she didn’t give a damn what happened to us. Problem was, by the time he was a teenager, Trent wasn’t staying out of trouble anymore. He started acting out. At first, I think he thought it would get him attention. But all that happened was them raking him over the coals. Telling him he’d never amount to anything. That he was an embarrassment to the Saunders name. Kicking him out of the house when he rebelled. Threatening to cut him off. They washed their hands of him—and in turn, he washed his hands of them. He stopped acting out on purpose, but he made it clear he wasn’t interested in playing into their idea of the perfect son. He didn’t want any part of their games.”
“But you did?” I suggested. Jimmy had said he had been the good kid—it wasn’t hard to imagine what that meant.
“Yeah,” he agreed, sounding embarrassed. “I saw how they yelled at each other, how they yelled at Trent—I just didn’t want to be the focus of that, you know? And it wasn’t that hard to be quiet, polite. Get good grades. It made them their version of proud of me—which meant they’d brag about me to their friends but never actually make any time for me when there wasn’t anyone around to see it. Though I suppose the bragging’s probably stopped by now, since things aren’t going great at Princeton.” He gave me a strained smile. “Guess I’m not the good son anymore, either.”
Sheesh. Talk about screwing your kids up. But I didn’t want to give him a reason to focus on more self-blame over his school woes, so I tried to redirect. “What changed? What triggered the divorce?”
Jimmy grimaced. “One of Dad’s girlfriends had a pregnancy scare. It turned out to be a false alarm, but obviously they didn’t know that at the time. Mom realized she wouldn’t be able to keep up appearances anymore, pretending to be the perfect power couple with Dad, so she decided to call it quits with him once and for all. Trouble was, she thought she could cut him loose personally and professionally while she kept the company. But Dad definitely wasn’t on board with that, and he fought back. That’s when things got messy at the office instead of just at home.”
“That part I know about,” I said. Jimmy nodded.
“After they’d nearly driven Saunders Furniture into the ground, Nana Dee and the board begged Trent to step in. Mom and Dad were stripped of all control over the company, and Trent was put in charge. I think that was the hardest part for my mom to swallow. Here was the kid she’d had no use for, the one she’d treated like garbage for years—and now, he was the guy in charge. And he rocked it. He saved the company after she’d tanked it. Her whole self-image was wrapped up in being powerful, running the company, and now all that power had transferred into the hands of someone who wouldn’t even take her phone calls. Not that that’s stopped her from trying.”
“So all those times when she’d call…” I said.
“It was her trying to worm her way back in. She’d claw back the CEO title for herself if she could—as you found out today—but I think she’d settle for being able to say that Trent comes to her for advice, or that she has some influence over him and the decisions he makes. Anything that would make her think she still has some power, you know? But he has zero interest in any of that, and who can blame him?”
“Fair point. And your dad?” I couldn’t help but think back to the conversation I’d half overheard back in the coffee shop on the day Trent and I first met. I’d been so furious with him for the way he’d talked to his dad…but maybe I’d jumped to conclusions a little too quickly.
“He misses being important too,” Jimmy said. “Maybe not as much as Mom…but still a lot. It always seemed to me like the company itself didn’t mean that much to him, but he likes being a bigshot. It annoys him to be in any room where he’s not the biggest deal there. My psych professor would probably say he has a complex because his parents did such amazing things, and he never felt like he could measure up. But on the other hand, I’m flunking psych, so what do I know?”
I squeezed the steering wheel. I couldn’t believe how wrong I’d been about Trent’s parents. I’d actually felt sorry for Lara. And I’d bought her spiel about caring about Trent hook, line, and sinker. “I’m such an idiot,” I said. “I never realized…Your brother never said. I thought maybe it was something they could get past, you know? That I could help bridge that gap somehow.”
“I get it,” Jimmy said. “My mother’s great at getting sympathy when she wants it. She played you. But it’s not a bad thing to want to believe the best of people. Or to try to bring a family together. You had good intentions because you’re a good person. And that’s what matters.”
“I don’t know about that,” I muttered. What a damn mess I’d walked into.
“Case in point,” Jimmy said. “You schlepped all the way out here to pick up a guy you’ve only met once, who’s the little brother of the guy who broke your heart. That sort of kindness is rare. And it deserves better than being yelled at by Trent.”
“I thought you’d be on his side,” I said.
“I am on his side,” Jimmy explained. “This is me being on his side by realizing what a fool he’s been and hopefully getting him to see sense before it’s too late. I’m on the side that wants him to be happy in the end. With you .”
I smiled softly at him. “You’re a good brother, Jimmy.”
He shot me a grin. “I know, right?”
Ten minutes later, we pulled into the hospital parking lot. I drove into an empty space, climbing out of the car as Jimmy jumped out. “You’ll text me and let me know how things are going?”
Jimmy nodded. “You could just come up, you know.”
“I don’t think that’s a good idea. I don’t think Trent wants me there.”
“ I want you there.” I smiled at him, but Jimmy didn’t see it because someone caught his eye over my shoulder. His face fell. “Uh oh.”
Uh oh ? I whirled around, spotting Trent. He stormed toward the car, furious.