Chapter 30
DELANEY
“How long do you have? I want to show you something.”
I was working second shift today, and since Parker’s current job was in town, we agreed to meet for lunch at The Big Easy. They had a po’ boy special on Tuesdays which was one of my favorites.
“I’ll work late, so at least an hour. Maybe a little more. What’s up?”
It was a cold one today, the temperature flirting with teens, but since I’d been meaning to show him and we were only a block away…
“How are you not wearing gloves?” I asked. Though he did have on a hat, his bare hands were making me feel cold as we walked.
“Why do you think I’m holding your hand?” he asked. “Forgot mine at the job.”
His company was renovating a wing of the local middle school about ten minutes away.
“Sorry to drag you around town but I’ve been meaning to tell you all week. Look.”
I pointed to the building, its “for lease” sign prominent in the window.
“For years I’ve imagined it as an art studio.”
Parker let go of my hand, walked up the steps to the front porch, and peered inside. That he was taking it so seriously was only one of the reasons I loved him.
Loved him.
Admitting it to myself had been scary at first, but for the past few days, every time I looked at him, every time he texted or called, I knew it was true.
“Looks like a decent space,” he said. “Can’t say I’ve ever been inside.”
“I have. There’s a front showroom and the others have been converted to office space. I always imagined the front room being a place to have classes that you could see right through the window.”
“Delaney—”
“Before we freeze to death, let’s head to lunch while we talk.”
Parker took my hand again. “Tell me more. What do you envision?”
I talked the whole way down the block. When we got to The Big Easy, the owner greeted us at the hostess stand. Even though Maggie was also the executive chef, she could be found front of house at least half the time. Everyone knew her and loved her.
“Y’all look like popsicles,” she said, grabbing two menus.
“I still can’t believe you left Louisiana for this weather,” I said as she escorted us to a table.
It was decorated to look like the inside of a New Orleans eatery, with a few more beads, Maggie admitted, than you’d usually find hanging around outside of Carnival season.
The theming was fun, but what made The Big Easy a Cedar Falls staple was the food.
And live jazz some nights of the week too.
“You’ll do crazy things for family,” she said. “Besides, we get back a lot. Here you go,” she said as we took off our coats. “Drinks?”
“I’ll have an iced tea, unsweetened, please.”
“Sounds good. Same,” Parker said as Maggie walked away.
“So anyway, I know it sounds nuts. But Pia is doing a little digging, market research and such. My parents would absolutely kill me if they even got a whiff of this but… I wanted to see what you thought.”
Parker sat back in his seat, crossed his arms, and was quiet what felt like an hour.
His opinion shouldn’t matter so much, but I respected him, a lot.
So it did matter. Especially since I couldn’t talk to my parents yet.
Normally with an important decision like this, I’d have already run it by them.
“Do you remember what you asked me when I tossed out the idea of a log cabin building business?”
I thought about it for a second. “I don’t.”
“You asked what was stopping me from starting my own company. So I’ll ask you the same. Except, take your parents out of the equation. They love you and want to see you succeed, but the decision is yours. Not theirs.”
I started to talk but he added, “And take college out too. Actually, everything that happened in the past, it’s over. Looking forward and not back. What’s stopping you?”
I thought about it as the waiter brought our drinks and handed us the menus, though I didn’t need mine.
“Money,” I said.
“There’s business loans for that.”
“And if it doesn’t work?”
“You pay it back. It’s just money.”
“Just money.” I laughed. “That little thing you need to live.”
“You would manage, I’m certain. What else?”
“I’d be out of a job.”
“Do you like your job?”
He knew the answer to that already. “No.”
“So why would you want a job back you didn’t like? This isn’t a trial run, Delaney. We get one chance at it, and then we die.”
The waiter had returned that very second. He looked at Parker strangely for a second before saying anything. “Best make it a good meal then. What’ll you have?”
Parker and I both laughed at his quick comeback and ordered lunch.
“That was funny,” I said of the waiter’s timing and quick thinking.
“It was. But I’m serious. And yeah, Mason may have rubbed off on me. But he’s seen so much shit that the whole ‘memento mori’ thing hits home for him in a real way. Which I get.”
“Memento mori?”
“It literally means, ‘remember you must die.’”
“Charming. I can see how that would be super motivational,” I teased.
Parker smiled. “It’s just a reminder of our mortality. A reminder to live.”
“Sort of a macabre way of saying carpe diem?”
“Sort of, sure.”
Memento mori.
“So are you saying I should go for it?” I asked finally, our po’ boys coming already. The smell of roast beef and gravy reminded me that I was absolutely living life to the fullest at this very moment. Did it get any better than sharing good food with a person you loved?
“I’m saying, the decision is yours. And I support whatever decision you make, 100 percent.”
That was so… Parker. I was about to tease him for not answering completely but also thank him for being so amazing when my phone lit up. Normally I wouldn’t have it on next to me at dinner, but my dad was heading to a pre-surgery appointment today, and I wanted to be sure he was okay.
I’m sorry. For everything. I miss you D.
I stopped chewing mid-bite. My heart thudded as I stared at the text from Makis. It was like being tossed in a time machine, the feeling of waiting for his texts, the hurt and pain, all bubbling to the surface.
What I would have given to get a text like that from him months ago…
“What is it?”
I looked up. Refusing to let myself start crying, I swallowed. Took a deep breath. How could he still have the ability to affect me this way?
“Makis.”
Parker stopped chewing too. Rage, the kind I’d never expect from Parker, certainly had never seen from him before, danced in his eyes.
Thank goodness Makis had only texted and hadn’t actually come to Cedar Falls to say this in person.
I really think Parker would have made good on his threat to pummel the guy.
He didn’t ask what the text was about. Didn’t chastise me for not blocking him which I totally should have done. At first I didn’t have the heart, and these past few weeks, I hadn’t cared enough to bother, never thinking I’d hear from him again.
“He says he’s sorry. And misses me.”
If our situations had been reversed, this was about the time I would ask Parker why his toxic ex was still alive and well in his phone.
“I should have blocked him. But I didn’t want to at first, and then?—”
“Delaney.” Parker reached across the table and put his hand over mine. “You don’t have to explain.”
“But…” I tried to do just that.
“I’m serious. You don’t. I just hate seeing you upset.”
I put the phone down and wrapped my fingers through his. They were so different, and yet… hadn’t Makis been like this at first? There wasn’t a hint of the man that later all but ghosted me when I tried to get any clarification from him.
“I’m not upset,” I said, shrugging off the thought. “At least, not anymore. It was just a shock to see his name pop up.” I picked up the phone again. “Swipe. Delete.”
Taking a bite of the sandwich, not even tasting it, I focused on the man sitting across from me. He didn’t look as angry now. Just concerned.
Finished chewing, I reassured him. “Honestly, I’m fine. Eat up, you don’t have a lot of time left.”
He did, and eventually we moved on, talking about the building, Pia’s research and just starting our own businesses in general. I knew very little about the legalities of it, how to even get started, but Parker did, business major and all.
It was a pleasant lunch and gave me a lot to think about, but Makis’s text had taken away some of the joy that I’d been feeling just before he’d messaged.
I hated him for that. For all of it. But I was even more angry with myself for letting any doubts about Parker creep into my head because of that asshole.
That was when my phone lit up again, but this time, it wasn’t Makis.