Chapter sixteen #2
“I did, Saban, come hold him because he’s gone be knocked out for a good three hours, and you may not be here when he wakes up.”
Getting up, I switch places with her, letting her show me how to hold him properly.
No sooner than I get him in position is he nuzzling me.
He’s such a thick little baby, not to mention long.
He has all his father’s features. Only his skin tone is more of a mocha, closer to his mom’s deep brown.
Nuzzling my face in his thick curls, I breathe in his unique baby scent.
Never have I ever thought about having kids — with what I went through and all that I’ve seen.
But I’d be lying if I said holding Judah Love Cruz doesn’t cause thoughts to stir I’ve never considered before.
No sooner than I muse about Hadrián’s eyes and my skin tone does Easy’s question cuts into my thought, asking for more clarification.
“What do you mean, Snake built his house first? For Saban?” I meet her question with a surprise stare of my own. “If that’s true, then why did we live in the cottage all that time?”
Lourdes shrugs. “He thought y’all coming and going would be noticed by Rudy’s crew.
He didn’t want to risk it. Angel said Snake didn’t want to tether you to the place by not allowing you to come and go as you wished either.
As you know, they don’t want anyone outside of their sacred little circle to know where we live. ”
“I’m sure if everything hadn’t happened like it did, he would have brought you there.
” Absorbing this new revelation, I sigh, searching both their faces.
“Earlier I was with Crimson and Clover over at the St. Agustus. They said we had it all wrong, Easy. They said Angel, Snake and them were not the traffickers of the one’s who assaulted those girls—” cutting out when I see Easy’s nod I just look from my best friend in the world since I was nine to my newest one — who I had to leave her husband while she was pregnant.
Guilt wracks me. Emotion wells fast and heavy in my chest, causing me to surge up from the glider. Placing Judah in the crib that is a replica of his father’s chopper, I turn to my friends, clutching the heaving ache in my chest, struggling to hold tight to the scream building inside.
“How? I know what I saw. I know what I heard with my own ears. I’m not crazy or confused.” I whisper-shout, not wanting to yell while the baby is sleeping.
Easy rises coming over to my putting gentle hands on my shoulders.
“Rudy no good tail made connections with coyotes acting like he was Angel. He had a whole side thing going, and it took Snake time to run it down. They are still dealing with the problems caused by the side enterprise Rudy had going. Angel went through the entire MC to see who else was involved. Right now it seems as though it was no one but those in Rudy’s crew.
I know how you feel. Trust me, I do. We’ve had to work through a lot since the moment he burst through that door just as I was pushing his son out. ”
For the first time I can see the stress all this put on Ezekiel-Jane, she asked for none of this — not what she had to go through the night she had an accident on Highway Seventeen, to being claimed and cuffed by the president of an outlaw MC to being forced to leave him right after she found out she was pregnant with his baby.
“Jeeze Louise,” I groan, thinking of all the ramifications of my choices.
“I should’ve just gone to him.” The thought sits like an anchor on my heart, dragging me down to the depths of an abyss of shame.
“You felt you had no choice. Hearing them girls say that el Presidente of el Diablo and his primo were the men who trafficked and assaulted them left you with no choice. After LL finally got down here with the authorities, it took days to get everything sorted. By that time, y’all were gone and no-contact for your own safety.
No one knew where you were as intended. The fault lies with the terrible people who perpetrated the atrocities against those more vulnerable than they.
” Lourdes says with firm assurance. Her phone chimes.
“It’s Mimi, brB.” Holding the phone close to her ear, she whispers a hello before going out into the hall to take the call of congratulations from her mentor.
My feelings are somewhat assuaged, but the niggling doubt I feel about all the trouble my actions wrought won’t go away anytime soon.
“Still, I’m sorry you and Angel were separated when you were pregnant. He missed so many firsts. He almost missed the birth.” I say, not wanting to mention the men who died storming Oz’s compound that night.
“Yeah, Ozymandias knew the truth all along and didn’t tell Angel out of spite. He says Angel broke the code messing with me and should have let me go knowing I was a civilian and innocent and all that.” Easy shakes her head just as her tablet chimes.
“Speak of the devil. I told him you would be here today. Hey, bighead.” Looking down into his gray eyes, she smiles broadly at her cousin. Seeming to have forgiven him for keeping her away from her husband.
“Where that pretty thang, Saban, at?” comes his insistent rumble across the line.
“Here I am?” Leaning in, I take in the business casual of his attire. One would never think of him as the leader of a paramilitary force and one leader of one of the most powerful syndicates in the world.
“Hmm. I guess you have the full story now?” He asks without remorse.
“You could have told us the truth, you know.” Shaking my head at his nonchalance. He’d already drilled into us on an almost daily basis how being involved with Angel and Snake would serve us nothing but heartache and bitter disappointment.
At the time, I wondered why he was so adamant when we’d resolved never to see them again. Now I realize it was because he knew the truth — probably from the start. He just used whatever means were at his disposal to keep his baby cousin away from Angel.
“You know you were wrong for that.” Letting him see my disappointment.
“I do, and I won’t apologize for it. Them motherfuckers know they’re foul and no good for you.
If I had the chance to do it all over again, I’d dead their asses.
Both y’all young ladies are too good for them sumbitches.
” I don’t know if I should be appalled or giggle like Easy is doing at the vehemence of his words.
“You’re incorrigible.” Leaning over my shoulder, I can feel her curls brushing my locs as she fusses at him. “What have I told you about all that spicy language around my baby?”
“He’s sleep, yeah? Let me see my baby cousin.” Handing me the iPad, she nods for me to take it over to the crib.
“There, that big boy is.” It’s funny seeing his face warm and his features soften when he looks and Judah.
“He’s such a blessing.” Agreeing, I look down at Easy’s big, beautiful boy. His little fist is curled tight against his body, and he’s smiling and giggling in his sleep.
“He’s playing with cherubs.” Oz marvels, looking on.
“That’s what my mom used to say about my brother.
” His tone goes wishful right before it’s replaced by devilment.
“Aye, you know I give you the same? You don’t have to be sniffing after that reptile when you’ve got a whole king out here wanting to give you the world, including your own eleven-pound baby like Ezekiel-Jane. ”
I have to muffle the shout that threatens to erupt from me.
“You’re nothing if not on brand, Oz.” Pulling my hand away, I can’t help smiling at his antics.
“You love it and you miss it. I miss you too, baby girl.” He says in all seriousness.
“Aw—” my response is cut off when the tablet is snatched from my hands.
Snake says nothing as he stares off at Oz for a tense couple of seconds before ending the call.
Gripping my wrist, he drags me from the room, not stopping until he’s climbing on his chopper