31. RAFE
RAFE
Ihave no idea what the fuck is going on, but I’ve just blown my load inside a woman while fragmented thoughts of my daughter’s best friend splintered my consciousness.
I’m ashamed to admit it, but as I emptied into her, surrounded by Diana’s perfume, it was like I was fucking Diana.
I thought this would help get her out of my system, but it didn’t.
This is worse than fucking my fist in the shower.
I’m dizzy from the orgasm and confused by that whispered call of Mr Bastion. But most of all, I’m consumed by the woman in my arms, the warmth of her skin, the light taste of salt on her skin, and the smell of Diana’s perfume.
I’ve used this woman. Pretended she’s someone else. Fucked her even though she isn’t who I want, because who I want, I can’t have. I didn’t mean to do it; didn’t want to do it.
And yet, I can’t bring myself to care.
Resting my head so my nose is pressed to her throat, I take a deep inhale and close my eyes. Like this, mind fogged with lust, the woman in my arms could be Diana.
In my head, it is her, regardless of the truth.
“I tried to resist you, I really fucking did,” I murmur, sliding both hands up her skirt, exposing her, but shielding her from view of anyone passing behind us.
“I shouldn’t have done this. But God, did I fucking want to.
” I kiss her again, rough and unyielding.
“You’re wonderful. Perfect. You’re the only woman I want. ”
A light laugh leaves her pretty pink mouth, which she presses to mine again almost before the sound is over, sending electricity shooting through me. “I’m irresistible,” she says between fevered breaths.
“Yes,” I agree.
Her soft lips graze the shell of my ear. “Let me make you happy. One more time, let me make you happy.”
“One more time, or one more night?” I rasp, desperation an unavoidable vibration through every word.
“Let’s take the whole night. I really missed your dick,” she says, squeezing her inner muscles against me where I’m still inside her. “It’s the best dick I’ve ever had.”
We disentangle, and I tie up the condom, tossing it in the bin. I fix my pants, tuck in my shirt, and smooth my hair. The woman shuffles her dress down over her hips and flicks her hair off her face, which remains mostly covered by the mask.
“Room 3,” she says, taking hold of my hand and giving it a gentle tug. “Give me a couple of minutes, then come and find me.”
She slips her fingers out of my grip and walks away, abandoning me to sink into the heady stupor induced by an orgasm I should never have had, and buzzing with the prospect of another fuck I definitely shouldn’t indulge in.
I could leave. I could go home to the penthouse where Diana is probably already asleep.
But what if she’s not asleep? What if she’s here?
Christ almighty, I’ve definitely lost it. I’m delusional.
I should go home, but I know I’m not going to. I yearned for another chance with this woman, thinking it would never happen, could never happen, before I ever felt anything for Diana. And something about being here, in the safety of Delirium, separates the act from its real-life consequences.
If I am going to hell tonight, then I want to fucking burn.
I knock on the door of Room 3, my heart hammering harder than my knuckles.
“Come in,” she says, her voice sultry but muted.
I push it open, close it behind me, and freeze.
Dim wall lights spread golden light through the room, and she’s sitting on the end of the bed, perched amidst black silk sheets, naked apart from her heels and mask, with her legs neatly crossed. She rests her hands back on the bed behind her, and she’s just there, waiting for me.
I clench my fists at my sides as an inferno of need rages through me.
If this is hell, then she’s a fallen angel. I wish I could stay here with her for all eternity, never having to face the consequences of what I’ve done tonight and what I’m about to do.
“You don’t belong here,” I mutter.
A tiny smile slides over her mouth. “I’m very happy here, with you.”
She unlocks her thighs and slowly spreads her legs, exposing her cunt, slick and swollen from our rough lovemaking, the bud of her clit still engorged. I nearly fall to my knees at the sight, but I don’t move.
“I want you to worship me,” she says, her voice all sensual allure as she trails her fingers down her stomach, through the neat strip of hair at the apex of her thighs, and through her slick lips. “Come here,” she says, beckoning me.
I take slow steps towards her, knowing I’ll replay this scene in my head until the day I die.
“You don’t tell me what to do,” I mutter, knowing I’d do whatever the fuck she asked of me.
Her pretty pink lips pucker as she restrains a smile, and her fingers dip into her entrance. “God, I’m so wet. You make me so—”
I drop to my knees with an unrestrained growl, taking position at the end of the bed, grabbing her thighs and pulling her towards me. With a squeal, she loses her balance as her legs lock over my shoulders, and I find myself face-to-face with her pussy.
I bury my face in it, my tongue slipping deep into her wet cunt, savouring the taste of her.
Her mewls and moans are an erotic chorus I’ll never get enough of.
I plant one hand on her stomach to stop her wriggling as she thrashes on the sheets, and the other, I slide under her arse to angle her pussy into my mouth.
I don’t know about worship, but I am fucking feasting on this woman. I never want to stop. I tease her clit with the tip of my tongue, feeling it swell and harden.
“Oh, God, Oh, oh, shit… don’t stop,” she calls out, and I suck her clit and slide two fingers into her cunt, which pulls me in and pulses around my knuckles. Fuck, she is ripe.
“I’m close, I’m—”
I stop, and before she has a chance to question me, I flip her over, yanking her up to her knees. I spread her cheeks, running my thumb over that puckered hole, relishing the tiny gasp she makes as I do. “You like that?”
She nods, her face buried in the sheets.
“If you’re good, I’ll give it to you,” I say, grabbing another condom from my pocket before pushing down my pants and boxers.
I tear it open and sheath myself, then grip her hips and haul her back towards me.
Taking her from behind, I thrust up into her, holding her in place so my dick is bottoming out inside her, hitting deep.
She lets out a helpless whimper that undoes me, and we both let loose, her fisting her hands in the sheets and moaning like a fucking porn star, and me sinking in and withdrawing like an animal, pounding into her like her sweet cunt could save me from myself.
I reach around and tease her clit, and it’s only seconds before she’s making those noises I remember from that first night together. She’s close.
I fuck her like the world is ending, our bodies slamming together.
Sweat breaks out all over me, and I rut into her wet cunt, as if the ferocity of my fucking can fend off the thoughts of my daughter’s best friend. But this position is worse because the woman in front of me could be anyone.
I yank her back over my cock. Her body shunts up the bed, her fingers in the sheets, and I rail her until my orgasm is inevitable.
“Rafe, Rafe. Fuck… oh… fuck, fuck, fuck,” she calls, and the sound of her coming tips me over the edge.
“Diana. Fuck, Diana,” I roar as the climax breaks through, my back arching and my body stiffening, my dick filling the condom with more cum than I’ve ever released in one go.
My breaths come ragged and hard, and after I finish, she doesn’t move, our bodies still joined as my dick slowly softens inside her.
She’s limp on the sheets when her soft voice breaks the silence in the room. “Diana?”
I let out a low moan, hanging my head. “Shit.”
She says nothing, but curls up on the sheets after I pull out and make myself decent.
I need to get the fuck out of here. This wasn’t supposed to end this way, although, now I think of it, I’m not sure it was going to end any other way.
I didn’t really come here for this woman at all, regardless of the impact she made on me when we first met and how wonderful it felt to have her in my arms again.
“She wears your perfume,” I explain, as if calling out someone else’s name makes it better if you share a scent.
She doesn’t look at me, and self-loathing rises like thick, dark tar, choking me. Clearing my throat, I make my apologies, excusing myself, telling her I had a great time.
Still, she doesn’t look at me.
If last time we were together was the best one night stand I could ever have imagined, this is the worst second night stand in the history of my sex life. Maybe in the history of the world.
“I really am sorry,” I say again, standing at the side of the bed. “I’ve never had sex with anyone like I have with you.” Her eyes flutter shut as if she can’t bear to listen to me talk, but still I add, “That remains true.”
Her chin shifts, and her voice is quiet. “It was never meant to mean anything.”
Feeling terrible that I’ve hurt this young woman, I sit beside her as I fix my tie, which I can’t believe I’m still wearing, and straighten it. “No,” I agree. “It wasn’t.”
“Just sex.”
“Yes.”
She nods and climbs out of bed, grabbing her clothes and padding totally naked to the bathroom.
She has a glorious body. Perfect, really.
And fuck if it isn’t similar to Diana’s in her bikini.
The sight of it makes me ache, and I clench my teeth to hold back the groan of frustration that seeks to rumble up my throat.
She closes the door, and I sit, waiting. But for what, I don’t fucking know, except that to disappear while she’s in the bathroom would be so rude, I can’t contemplate it. She doesn’t deserve that.
A few moments later, she comes out fully dressed and walks to the door without looking at me. Christ, this is awkward.
Her hand is on the door handle when she glances back at me. “You should tell her.”
“Excuse me?”
She swallows, and her voice falters slightly, so I can only just make out her words as she leaves the room. “You heard me.”
All thoughts evacuate my mind, replaced by the idea of telling my daughter’s best friend that I called out her name during sex with another woman.
I could never fucking do that. Never.