16. Jafar
Jafar
S omething’s changed, and I can’t put my finger on what.
It doesn’t help that I’m distracted over this clusterfuck of a weekend.
Six of my men are gone, disappeared as if they never existed, and I have only Ali to blame.
He’s not scared of the force I can bring against him, and he’s not in the wind like I first thought.
If anything, getting access to Yasmina at the Underworld emboldened him.
He’ll keep striking until I put him down, but I can’t fucking find him to remove the threat he represents.
When Yasmina doesn’t answer, I prod her again. “School?”
“Oh.” She examines her wineglass. “I suppose I’d like to go to college, but I haven’t put much thought into it.”
She’s not telling the truth. I can see it in the way her eyes drop, in the nervous twitch of her fingers against the counter. She told no lies when she said she’s wanted everything I’ve given her and more, but she’s lying now.
“I find that hard to believe.” I keep my voice mild. “The entire time I’ve known you, you’ve had your face pressed against the bars of your cage and your eyes on the future. Don’t tell me that plan didn’t include college.”
Yasmina gives me a brittle smile. “When would I have gone to college, Jafar? When I married some man like Ali? Future plans aren’t for people like me. I’m a pawn in a larger game. I always have been.”
Who is this woman? Where is the fire that seems ready to burst from her skin normally? I lean back and cross my arms over my chest. “You’re going to college.”
The look she gives me can only be described as withering. “That’s not your decision to make.”
“I think you’ll find that it is.” I don’t know why she’s resisting, but it doesn’t make a difference.
No matter what Yasmina thinks of me, I have no plans to keep her walled up in this tower indefinitely.
It’s not reasonable. Beyond that, it makes me look weak as fuck to have to lock my woman away in order to protect her.
She might not see herself as mine, but everyone else does.
I do.
Life would be easier if that was my only motivation.
Bolstering strength and keeping up appearances.
That shit I understand. It’s not, though.
I want Yasmina to find her feet in a real way.
She’s never had a chance before, and I can be the one to give it to her.
Is there a whole lot of possessive pride wrapped up in that sentiment?
Yes. I won’t deny it. I want her to fly and to know I was the one who gave her that chance.
I want her to choose me.
The thought almost makes me laugh. Since when did I get so godsdamned sentimental?
“Tell me something, baby girl.”
“What do you want to know?” She sounds so cold, so prim, I want to make a mess of her.
“Are you digging in your heels simply for the sake of doing it? Because, if so, you’re wasting both our time.”
She finally looks at me, really looks at me.
There are shadows in her dark eyes that I have no solution to.
I am not a caretaker, not a gentle soul who will love her into healing.
? 1 I wouldn’t know the first place to start with that shit.
I have the skills I’ve cultivated over my life, and those will have to be good enough.
I push off the counter and hold out a hand. “Come on.”
“What?”
“I think this is a conversation better had under different circumstances.” I wait for her to take my hand, and then I haul her over my shoulder.
She curses and smacks my back, but I like carrying Yasmina.
It soothes something raw inside me to know she’s fully mine, even if only for the duration of the trip.
I take the elevator down a floor and stride to the little setup I ordered put together when I realized Ali had slipped through my grasp again.
There will be a time when I’ll happily go out on the town with Yasmina on my arm, but it’s too dangerous right now.
Ali is a loose cannon, and while I don’t think he’d snipe Yasmina—not yet—he’s riling up others who might not have the same restraint.
Not to mention the man won’t react well when he realizes that he’ll never lay a hand on Yasmina. Not again.
I set her down slowly, letting her body drag along mine.
She presses her hands to my chest and glares up at me. “You have to realize that you can’t just lug me around whenever you feel like it.”
“Do I?” I shouldn’t enjoy needling her this much, but she’s finally snapping and flickering at me, exhibiting the fire I know she carries deep inside. I want it closer to the surface. I don’t want her control.
I just want Yasmina.
Fuck, but I’m in trouble. She was only ever meant to be the pawn she describes herself as, except I’m self-aware enough to acknowledge the truth.
This woman worked her way beneath my skin a long time ago.
Now that I’ve had her in my home, that I’ve seen her wild with abandon and desire, now that I know exactly how hard she gets off on being bad?
I’ve always dealt in cold, hard facts. Ambition like mine can get a man killed if he’s not careful, and I worked my way up the ranks using my brain instead of letting emotion get the best of me.
That trait is what makes me better than anyone else around me, and it’s the reason Balthazar never saw me coming.
For all his power, he was ruled by impulse and anger and, beneath that, fear.
But if I were the type of man to give way to fantasy, to dream up a woman to be my match in every way? I don’t have to look far to find her.
She’s standing right in front of me.
I sure as fuck don’t know how to feel about that. Wanting something—some one —this badly is like handing my enemies a loaded gun and relying on a prayer to some imaginary god to save me. They’ll see her as my weak spot, and they’ll come for her. They’ll keep coming for her.
“Jafar?” She slides her hands up my chest, her brows furrowed. “Daddy, are you okay? You’re shaking.”
I lock it down. I don’t have another choice. Confessing any of this shit to her is out of the question. She’s still got her eye on the door, and knowing that she’ll rip me apart if she tries to leave won’t be enough to stop her. I’d be a fucking idiot to believe otherwise. “Eat with me.”
She blinks those big, dark eyes at me. “I don’t understand you.”
“You don’t have to understand to play along.”
No smile in response. Just a searching look. “Is that all this is? A game to play?”
I can’t dredge up a lie. “No, baby girl. That’s not all this is.”
She parts her lips like she wants to pepper me with more questions, but she finally shakes her head and turns to look at the hastily put together setup in the room.
It doesn’t look last minute, of course. My people are better than that.
A small round table sits in the center of the room with two tall candles and a full array of silverware and plates.
If I can’t take her out for the night I had planned, I’ll bring it to her.
Finally, Yasmina looks back at me. “Okay, I’ll put aside my feelings for the night if that’s what you want.”
I don’t want her to put aside her feelings. I want to shift the feelings themselves. I can’t tell her that. She might grab one of the butter knives and try to stab me with it.? 2 The thought brings a smile. “Do you often attempt to stab people?”
She moves to the table, and I follow to pull out her chair. Yasmina doesn’t answer until she’s seated. “Only when they sneak into my room in the middle of the night.”
I can still feel the prick of the blade against my groin. She’d stood a good chance of hitting an artery and leaving me to bleed out on her bedroom floor. And sick bastard that I am, all I felt was a sense of pride. “If I’d been Ali, would you have followed through on the threat?”
“Yes.” She takes her napkin and spreads it across her lap. “I assumed that anyone in my room uninvited was up to no good.” She arches an eyebrow at me. “I was correct.”
I chuckle. “Yes, you were.” I lean back as a trio of my people come in, all carrying covered plates. We don’t speak as they set them on the table, remove the covers, and silently leave the room. I watch Yasmina take in the food.
“This looks like paella from Rom’s.”? 3
“It is.”
Surprise flares, quickly banked. “You know my favorite place.”
“I think we’ve established that my fascination with you has prodded me to learn all number of things.”
She picks up her fork and considers me. “You say fascination, but if I wasn’t attracted to you, it would border on terrifying.” Another long look at her plate. “I’m not sure it doesn’t border on terrifying.”
“Eat before it gets cold.”
She gives me another of those saucy looks I’ve come to crave, and we dig in.
She’s correct that this food comes from Rom, who runs a restaurant that I’m reasonably sure has no name, but I’m not about to tell her that I paid the man an exorbitant amount of money to cook for us personally tonight.
She’ll accuse me of padding her cage with pleasant experiences, and it’s exactly what I’m doing.
I know she’s restless, but I can’t do a damn thing about it until Ali is removed.
Even then, I can’t allow her free rein. Not until I can guarantee her safety.
It’s only when she sets her fork aside that I resume our earlier conversation. “Why did you lie to me about college?”
Yasmina sighs. “Do you ever get tired of moving me around the board on your whim? Princess in a palace. Princess in a penthouse. Submissive in the Underworld. Now college coed? Why do you insist on pushing me like this?”
I should feed her a line, but I find myself answering honestly. “You’ve been walled up for too long.”
“I’ve been walled up too long,” she repeats, as if she can’t have heard me right. Yasmina picks up her wineglass, seems to reconsider, and sets it down again. “You are such a hypocrite.”
“Guilty.”