34. Corinthians #3
816-555-5555: You left, didn’t you?
Me: I’m here.
I paused and saved his number in my phone.
Uri: How was your day?
Me: Good, not exciting, but how was yours?
Uri: Boring.
Uri: I wanted to see you at the shop, but I didn’t want to bother you.
I rested my head on my arms and stared at the phone. My heart fluttered, and I smiled. I wasn’t blind to male attention; I just chose to ignore it, but I didn’t want to with Uri. The thought of him coming to the shop again wasn’t something I shied away from.
Me: You should’ve come.
Uri: I’ll keep that in mind for another time.
Uri: What are you doing right now?
I looked over my shoulder to see Judah asleep. His head was tilted back, mouth wide open, and lightly snoring. I laughed, shook my head, then turned back to the phone.
Me: I was watching a movie with Judah, but he fell asleep.
Uri: What did y’all watch?
Me: Toy Soldier, it's one of the few movies we can agree on.
Uri: Can you sneak out?
Uri: I want to see you for a second.
Uri: If not, that’s cool too.
Me: Meet me in the backyard?
Uri: I’m already here waiting.
I set the phone down, then slowly moved so that I didn’t wake Judah.
I laid him down, covered him with the blanket, then grabbed my phone.
After I checked the cameras and locks, I grabbed the slides I kept by the backdoor, put them on, and snuck out.
I kept the curtains open so I could see Judah in case he woke up.
“Where are you?” I said, using the flashlight on my phone to look for him.
Uri stood on the other side of the fence, his eyes low. He was taller than the six-foot privacy fence.
“Hi,” I said once I was close enough.
“Hey,” he replied, then licked his lips. “You g-g-g-g-good?”
“Yeah,” I nodded and smiled. “You good?” he nodded.
“You sure? Your eyes are low.” He lifted his hand and showed me a blunt.
He didn’t offer it, though, and I was grateful that he remembered that I said I don’t smoke when Judah is around.
The first night we hung out with my family, I’d smoked because being around him made me nervous.
I needed something to help me relax, so I took a hit of Ex's blunt. It didn’t help me relax.
“I-I-I-I-I won’t keep you long,” he said, then took a pull of his blunt. “I just w-w-w-w-wanted to see your f-f-f-face.”
“Sleep well,” I said, stepping back. I put my hands in my pockets and smiled. “I’ll see you later.”
“Later,” he said, nodding. He took another pull of his blunt. I turned around, walked into the house, checked the locks again, then closed the curtains. I picked up Judah, moving him over so that I could lie down and cover us with the blanket.
“Mommy?” he called my name sleepily.
“Yeah, big man?” I said, snuggling closer to him.
“Why don’t I have a daddy?” he mumbled.
We’d never discussed Judah having a daddy.
When Isaac came around, I was always with him.
I told my family that we’d broken up when Judah was born, and Isaac hadn’t come around.
He showed up at the hospital after Judah was born but then he disappeared.
I was okay with that until about a year ago, when he showed up at my shop with Tyrell.
He requested that I show up to the same park every few months and let Judah play.
The weather didn’t matter; we were to go.
It was the same park I played at as a kid down the street from my grandparents' house. I did it, not because I wanted to but because I knew that Robert would eventually show up if I didn’t.
He stayed in the shadows as long as I did what he asked, and because I loved my son and my family, I did.
I thought that he had good male role models in his life, like Granddaddy, Exodus, Judge, and even Nine and his family.
I didn’t realize that my baby noticed that he didn’t have one.
I laid there, thinking of how I was supposed to answer his question.
I could never tell him he was a product of rape, that his father was a cruel man.
I could never willingly hurt my child with that information, but I knew that eventually he would need the truth. One day, just not today.
***
“That’s enough,” I laughed as I watched Judah continue to point at different toppings he wanted on his ice cream.
Our mommy-son date always ended with ice cream, no matter what we did or what time of year it was.
With our schedules being so busy, I always tried to make sure that I took at least one day out of the month just for us to do whatever he wanted.
“One more,” he said, then licked his lips. “I want gummy bears.”
“Your stomach is going to hurt,” I told him, then nodded at the young lady making his sundae. She gave me a quick nod in return, then added the gummy bears. “This is going to be good.”
“I doubt it,” I told him as I went to the counter to pay.
Judah’s bubble gum ice cream sundae was full of gummy bears, sprinkles, and other candies that made my teeth hurt at just the thought of it all.
After I paid, we went to a table near the front and sat down.
Judah started eating while I sat there watching him.
“Tell me what you want to do this summer.”
“Hang out with Deuce, play basketball with Mercy,” he stopped to take a bite of his ice cream. “Oh, and play the game with Krude. We have a tournament scheduled.” He smiled at me. “And eat more of these.” He pointed to the ice cream.
“I’m going to have to take you to the dentist,” I told him, and he shrugged.
“I’ll go if I can keep having these,” he laughed.
“Once a month,” I reminded him. “Only time you can binge without me saying something.”
“Next time we should bring Four,” he suggested. “He likes ice cream.”
“How do you know?”
“He told me,” he answered. “The other day after school when he was helping me with my homework, he told me his favorite foods.”
I bit into my ice cream sandwich. “Did he?”
“Yep.” He gave me a sneaky smile. “I bet you don’t know his favorite food.”
I sat back in my seat and smiled. “I bet I do.”
Judah narrowed his eyes then took another bite of his ice cream. “What is it?”
“Everybody thinks it's lamb chops with loaded mashed potatoes and asparagus because it's usually what he orders if he goes out to eat." He smirked. “But it’s not; it’s grilled cheese with baked potato soup instead of tomato.”
Judah’s mouth dropped open, and I laughed. “How do you know that?” he asked.
“I’m a mom, Judah; I know it all.”
“But you aren’t his mama,” he pointed out. “Just mine.”
I shrugged. “All good mamas have superpowers, Judah. I’ve told you that before; you just don’t believe me,” I said, and he nodded.
He ate a few more bites of his food then pushed his bowl to the center of the table. “I gotta go pee,” he told me as he stood. “I’ll be right back.”
I nodded and watched him go. I was comfortable with him going alone because there was only a one-person bathroom and I could see it from my seat. I bit into my ice cream sandwich and looked around the small shop as I waited.
“Your son is the cutest,” someone said from the booth behind me. I turned around to see a pretty brown-skinned woman sitting there with a smile on her face. “I couldn’t help but overhear your conversation. He’s about six, right?”
“Yeah,” I nodded. I wasn’t giving her any more information than she already had, and right now she had none.
“He reminds me of my son when he was that age,” she said, and I nodded.
“Enjoy him while you can.” She stood, picked up a small handbag from the table and smiled.
“One day he won't be that little boy, and you’ll wonder how it happened.” Judah came back to the table and went back to eating his food. “You all have a nice day.”
Judah stopped eating and looked up at the woman. I could see his wheels spinning before he smiled. “You have a nice day too, ma’am,” he finally said.
“Have a nice one,” I said, watching her leave.
“Mama, do you know her?” Judah asked. He watched her through the window as she walked to her car.
“No, why?”
“I think I saw her before,” he replied as he continued to watch her. “Or she looks like somebody I’ve seen before.”
I looked at the woman as she sat in her car. When she noticed us watching her, she waved, then pulled from her parking spot and drove off. “Finish up so we can get home,” I told him. She did look familiar; I just couldn't place her.