Chapter 8
Oscar
My wolf was pushing me hard, and I had no complaints about his stance on Monroe claiming us. Especially after that sweet yet arousing kiss. Who knew that a hesitant kiss could be such a turn-on? I hadn’t, but now I did, and I wanted more. So much more.
It had been quite some time since I’d even thought about being intimate with anyone, and I was happy that it was my mate who would be my first after everything that had happened to me.
My first and last, because this would be for the rest of our lives, and I already knew I needed to have Alpha Forest give his brother thanks from me.
I had no doubt that Monroe was exactly who I would need in my life. He was generous, strong, and patient.
Despite all of that, I was a bit nervous. It couldn’t be helped though. I knew Monroe wasn’t experienced in anything of this sort, and I wanted him to have a wonderful experience. But I didn’t exactly have a whole lot of knowledge either.
The moment we entered the house and the door closed behind us, a heavy feeling of nerves hit. I was definitely nervous about the outcome. I wanted this to be good for Monroe. I wanted his first time to be everything and more.
“I can sense your nervousness. We don’t have to do this. We can wait until you’re absolutely ready.”
I shook my head. “I’m ready now. I just have all of these expectations on myself to make this perfect for you. I’m not sure I can, but you deserve that for this.”
Monroe stopped me with a hand on my shoulder. He gently turned me to face him, and I somehow got lost in his eyes. They were mesmerizing.
“Oscar, I’m with you. It’s already going to be amazing. Stop putting so much pressure on yourself. It’s true I’ve never actually done what we’re about to do, but I do know the mechanics of how it’s done. Just like here, we do have a class on it when we’re in school.”
Of course they did. Didn’t everyone? I took a deep breath and nodded. Monroe grinned and then took my hand and led me up the stairs.
“Do we need to do anything first? Maybe shower? Or take a bath? Something like that?” I asked.
I quickly realized that now I was stalling.
Monroe picked up on it immediately and sent me a glance while we continued on up the stairs.
Once we were in the bedroom, he led me to the bed and had me sit on the side.
He knelt down in front of me, taking both of my hands in his, and brought them to his mouth and kissed them gently.
“You are obviously nervous, and I understand. I’ve said it many times: I can wait, and we will go at your pace, Oscar. The most important thing to me is that you are ready and comfortable.”
My wolf whined in my mind. I tried to hush him, but he wasn’t listening. He was whimpering and calling out, wanting our mate to claim us. I knew I needed to not only trust my wolf but my mate as well, and now I had to figure out how to reassure Monroe that I was ready.
“I am. I want this. I’m obviously nervous. I want this to be good for you.”
Monroe raised an eyebrow at me. “But not for you? Do you believe you’re not going to find pleasure in what we’re about to share?”
I wanted to. I’d very rarely enjoyed sex. Obviously I didn’t when I’d been held captive, but that wasn’t the extent of my experience. Although, I wasn’t sure I should really call it “experience.”
“I want to. You’re my mate, Monroe. I know that alone will be pleasurable. I can’t help but be a bit nervous though.”
“We’ll go slow, all right?”
“Slow? Meaning?”
“Meaning slow. Maybe we should do as you asked earlier. Perhaps a soak in the bath first would be a good way to get you to relax. Who knows, it might even help set the mood,” Monroe said as he held up a hand and snapped his fingers.
He stood, and when we went to the bathroom, I quickly realized what that was about. I looked up at my mate.
“Do you have to snap your fingers to do magic?”
Monroe smirked. “No. I did it for emphasis.” Monroe raised his eyebrows at me, and the bathroom and everything that he’d done to it was suddenly gone—the room was now exactly as it had been earlier.
“Where did…can you bring it back?”
Monroe nodded slowly, and once more, the bathroom lights were dimmed, there were candles all around the tub, which was once more filled with steaming, fragrant water, and there was quiet music coming from somewhere.
I didn’t really care—it was just barely there, but it was enough to tell me that Monroe was trying, and I appreciated everything he was doing.
“Shall we?” Monroe asked, holding out his arm toward the tub.
I nodded and unzipped my coat. I should have left it downstairs, but I wasn’t exactly thinking about it then.
“Are you all right to undress in front of me?” Monroe asked.
I chuckled. “I’m a shifter. We get naked in front of others all of the time,” I told him.
Monroe’s brow wrinkled, and I laughed. “It’s a part of life here.
We have to get naked in order to shift. If we don’t, we can get tangled in our clothing.
If we need to shift in a hurry, that could mean the difference between escaping or getting hurt.
” I pulled my hoodie off and tossed it on the floor on top of my coat.
I sat down to undo my boots because there was no way they were coming off without being unlaced first.
“I accept that. It will take a bit to get used to, I guess. I’m not trying to be possessive or controlling. I just wasn’t raised around shifters, and we didn’t go around getting naked in front of one another.”
I had heard that more than once. Warlocks and vampires didn’t get naked around their coven members either.
“I don’t plan on shifting often near others, so you won’t have to worry much,” I told him.
I dropped both of my boots on the floor and pulled my socks off before I stood and undid my pants.
I wasted no time and pushed them down my legs, stepping out of them and then standing completely naked in front of my mate.
His eyes were wide and, after a moment, turned from surprised to appreciative.
I took a deep breath to gain courage and stepped toward my mate.
“If you’d like to join me in the tub, I’d love that.
But I do recommend undressing first,” I whispered.
I walked to the tub and carefully stepped into the steaming water, moaning at the heat as it surrounded my foot and leg.
When I was standing in it completely, I glanced over my shoulder to find Monroe staring at me.
I sat and sighed at the feeling of the hot water washing away the stress of life.
When had I last taken time for myself? I couldn’t remember, honestly.
Once I was rescued, I wasn’t in a good place mentally, and it took months for me to be ready to even think about anything other than the bare minimum for survival.
I happened to glance to my left just as Monroe’s clothing was suddenly completely gone and he was walking toward me in the tub.
I sat up, leaning forward to allow him in behind me.
There wasn’t any other way he could fit in with me comfortably that I could see.
The tub was plenty large enough, but it wasn’t really wide enough for us to sit side by side in it.
“Are you sure you want me behind you?”
I snorted at the question.
“I would think you would be behind me anyway at some point tonight, so yeah, I want you back there.”
Monroe stepped into the tub, and as he sat, the water level rose slightly.
When I leaned back again, it was to lie on a solid chest, and I had to go searching for Monroe’s hands to find them.
When I did, they were in the water, on the bottom of the tub beside his thighs.
I took them, wrapping his arms around my chest, and I sighed when he finally seemed to relax.
“It’s all right to touch me, Monroe. You’ve gone to all of this trouble to set this up for us, and I want you to be comfortable and relaxed.” Well, at least until later. Then, I still wanted him to be comfortable, but relaxed wasn’t what I was hoping for in a bit.
“Tell me if I do something that makes you uncomfortable?”
I nodded. “I will.” I knew he was concerned, and I understood why. I would never be able to forget what happened to me. But I no longer had nightmares, nor did I feel any discomfort or unease in being here with Monroe like this.
His hands slid down the center of my chest a little but quickly moved back up and onto my shoulders.
I moaned when he started rubbing them. Monroe chuckled and continued to rub my shoulders.
That felt amazing, and I closed my eyes and leaned my head back against Monroe’s shoulder as he continued to do it.
“Someone is finally starting to relax.”
I smiled. “The same could be said about you,” I replied.
“It’s important to me that I don’t overstep.”
I sighed. “I’ll let you know if you do anything that makes me feel uncomfortable.
Promise.” I would. But I was getting frustrated, and that wasn’t a good thing.
I knew he was being sweet and was only worried about me.
But I was ready. I wanted this. We’d spent all day talking about any and everything.
I wanted to have my mate and have that connection that others seemed to have once they were claimed. Why couldn’t I have that as well?
“That’s good to know. I’ll take you at your word.
” Monroe’s hands moved farther down, and I couldn’t help but moan when they moved to my lower abdomen.
With where we were and how we were situated, he couldn’t quite reach my cock, which wasn’t nearly as impressive as his if you asked me, but Monroe seemed to have that figured out already because his hands moved back up my body, to my shoulders, and then down my sides from behind.
With the new angle, Monroe’s hands were easily able to reach their intended target, and I couldn’t help but hiss at feeling someone else’s hand around my cock for the first time in a very long time.
“Still good?” he asked quietly.