35. A Golden Cage
A Golden Cage
Aradia
The last thing Aradia wanted was to share a bed with Kaiden Valencia. The night was cold, but she stayed warm, thanks to her nerves reminding her of who slept a hands length away. Sleep abandoned her even after fussing over the flat pillows and itchy blankets.
She heard Kaiden’s huff of impatience after the fifth time of fluffing the sorry excuse of a pillow.
“It’ll only get worse,” he said into the darkness.
“I think my bag and tent are more comfortable than this bed,” Aradia huffed.
She imagined Kaiden smiling at her but dared not turn around. The bed shifted and she felt his body weight roll closer.
“You could always lay on me.”
If she turned they would be nose to nose and she didn’t trust herself enough for that.
“I would still prefer my bag,” she whispered.
The small exhale of warm breath confirmed he was definitely smiling. His arm stretched out behind her, brushing against her shoulder and he pointed to the corner. “The bags are over there.”
This close she could smell his scent. If he lowered his arm it would fall easily around her body.
Gods, what if he tries to hold me?
Her heart pounded at his nearness and a new fear emerged. She wanted him to pull her close. To brush away the cold from her very bones and protect her with his warmth.
“I’ll be fine,” she said instead. She pulled the thin blanket up toward her chin and curled into herself.
“Try not to have any visions tonight. You have a big day ahead of you.”
Sleepiness brought a husk to his voice she had never heard before. It skidded across her skin and made her ache to turn around to him. She needed a distraction. Anything from thinking of him.
“I can’t control them, you know.”
“Most people who are blessed with it can’t,” he said. “Or so I’ve heard.”
“It’s not a blessing.”
Kaiden shifted again, this time his voice seemed farther away. He was lying on his back then.
“What makes you say that?” he asked.
“Why would it be a blessing?” She couldn’t help the cold edge creeping into her voice.
“To be hunted for something you cannot control? To be taken from your own body and thrust into others without knowing when, where, or what’s going on?
Trying to pick out pieces of a life that’s not yours but you’ve lived a hundred times over.
It’s like ... like ...” She struggled to find the right words.
“Losing your will?” Kaiden offered.
“Yes.” Aradia dared to look behind her.
Kaiden lay on his back on top of the blanket. One arm rested between his head and the flat pillow. He had taken off his vest and loosened his tunic. She dared a glance down. His pants and boots still remained.
She had changed out of her dirty riding clothes into a softer shirt which hung close to her knees. If she was by herself it would be the only thing she would have worn. Instead, she had changed into wool stockings.
“It’s like losing your choices, your freedom,” she whispered.
Kaiden turned his head, locking eyes with her despite the thin moonlight shining through dirt-stained windows.
“But they’re always returned back to you,” he said. “Until you’ve lost those rights completely you won’t know what it’s like to truly have your freedom taken away from you.”
Her brows furrowed as she switched positions. She flipped as quietly as the mattress would allow to her left side, bringing her arm underneath her for support, and faced him.
“You sound as if you speak from experience.”
Kaiden said nothing, instead turned his head to look back up at the ceiling. For a long time there was silence. She waited, not knowing if her statement had ended the conversation or if she had opened up a wound he wished to keep close.
“I didn’t mean to pry,” she whispered when the silence became uncomfortable.
“No,” Kaiden sighed. “I– I don’t know how to explain.”
Aradia barely breathed, in fear if she moved a muscle she would end their trance.
“You must think it's crazy for someone like me to talk about not having any freedom.”
Yes! No. Maybe? I don’t know.
“If I’ve learned anything from being with you all it’s that nothing is ever as it seems,” she said.
Kaiden nodded. “There are more ways than one to have your freedom stripped from you. A cage no matter what color, big or small, or who holds the key, is still a cage.”
The sadness seeping from his words coated the air between them. She wanted nothing more than to reach out and soothe whatever pains he had. Aradia shook the ridiculous notion away. She had no reason to have these thoughts of him. She meant nothing to him and he was supposed to be nothing to her.
Except her traitorous heart couldn’t help itself. Any time he was near or spoke her name she felt herself stand straighter or tucking her hair behind her ear like a silly court girl.
“Gail,” she whispered, “was my golden cage. It protected me from the outside and all those who wished me harm, at least for a time.”
“How long were you there?”
“Almost ten years. Ten years of pretending to be someone I’m not and denying myself the magic flowing through my veins. It was a torture of its own, knowing I could not access it.”
“How do you feel now?” He looked at her and Aradia forced her hand to stay beneath her head, lest she move it to toy with her hair.
“I still feel like I’m hiding.” The truth slipped from her lips before she could stop them.
Kaiden rolled to his side, facing her. His thumb brushed a curl from her temple. He traced her cheekbone down to her jawline, stopping at the curve of her lips.
“I see you, Aradia.” His words were soft against the quietness. “Someone like you would have never been able to remain hidden from the world. The fates brought us together and I, for one, am grateful for it.”
The overwhelming notion to agree bubbled behind clenched teeth. This openness was new to her and not something she wanted to explore with her enemy. Was he still her enemy?
Of course he’s your enemy.
Would enemies be sharing a bed? She cleared her throat softly, aware she had yet to respond to his confession.
“Thank you,” she said.
Thank you? That’s what you’re going with!
Kaiden dipped his head in a nod. A smile ghosted his lips. He was a mountain compared to her; one she wanted to climb.
Eos save me!
Where were these thoughts coming from? Her face burned and she thanked the gods for the cover of night.
“We should get some sleep,” he said.
She nodded slightly, unsure if he could see her, she whispered aloud. “Alright.”
A small wind tunnel came from the draft beneath the door and she shivered inwardly wrapping the thin blanket tighter.
Kaiden wrapped his large arm behind her back, pulling her closer.
“W-what are you doing?” She mustered enough courage to lift her chin and look into his eyes.
“You’re cold.”
The stiff sheets beneath them warmed and softened at the use of his magic.
His heat wrapped around her from all sides, cocooning her in an embrace of his own making.
His scent poured into her nose, her eyes, her very being.
Exotic spice and crackling fire. She leaned into him.
Was he doing this on purpose or was he that intoxicating?
Her heart beat so loudly she knew he must hear it as well.
“Relax, mic lumin?,” he whispered in her ear.
Relax? Relax!
She was doing everything but relaxing in his arms. Her hands were the only thing between them and she had placed them against his chest as a barrier.
Morana have mercy.
Underneath his tunic was a wall of muscle. Her hands acted on their own accord. She hesitantly slid her hands down his large chest. She could count his abs underneath the fabric. She swallowed — hard.
Kaiden’s hand trailed down her long shirt to her legs underneath.
Her sigh was the only noise between them as the heat radiating from his hand soaked into her very bones defrosting the aches and pains from their journey.
His left hand moved in melodic swirls on her thigh and up her back.
Back and forth he put her at ease until she felt like a wet noodle in his arm.
She snuggled closer. In the comforting crook of his neck and collarbone she felt a safety like never before.
He lifted his arm, causing her to open her eyes. He had provided a space for her right arm to wrap around his back. A quiet invitation.
She swore she heard a faint whisper of warning that she was treading too close to the fire, but her heart craved his touch and the magic inside her relaxed with his heat.
Her hand moved from his chest to wrap around his ribs and slide down his back.
The movement closed the space between them.
An ache she had never felt before throbbed between her legs as she felt the entirety of his body press against hers.
Kaiden inhaled deeply, shifting his arm, he pushed it underneath her as a personal pillow.
The movement made his chest push against her breast and she found herself matching it until they were one.
The thump of his heartbeat steadied her.
He was right. He was way more comfortable to her not-so-great annoyance.
She tried not to fidget. Would he get annoyed at her breath tickling his neck? Is he comfortable? What if she stank?
“I can hear you thinking.” Laughter filled his voice.
She smiled against his tunic. “You must do this often.”
Idiot! Why would she say that?
Curiosity would be the death of her. That’s why!
Kaiden’s chest rumbled as a dark chuckle escaped his lips. “Now you’re questioning my honor?”
“I–”
Would you be jealous if I did?”
Aradia paused to truly think of her answer.
She had no right to be jealous of anything.
She didn’t even know what this was. To Kaiden, it was probably a necessity to keep the body warm but then again, he could provide his own heat.
He was doing this solely for her — to be close to her.
The thought thrilled her, delusional as it might be.
“No.” she answered
A moment of silence followed.
“So?” She poked his ribs until he began to squirm and marveled at how the dreaded Prince of Arkan was ticklish. “Do you?”
Kaiden’s hand trailed up her leg. He gripped the back of her thigh in a possessive hold, making her freeze.
“No,” his hand released her leg. “Not anymore.”
Her shirt lifted with his smooth movement and she felt him travel to the cup of her butt, exploring up her hip and to the side of her stomach.
His hands never stumbled and Aradia mentally kicked herself when the jealous curiosity piqued once more.
He had plenty more experience than she ever did and the realization made her slightly green with envy.
His thumb brushed underneath the thin fabric of her laces where her breast pulsed at the nearness of him.
His large hand felt hot against her skin.
Aradia unknowingly arched her back to his touch. “Yet, here you are.”
Kaiden’s head dipped down to her tilted neck as if he planned on kissing her. She could feel the rough stubble of a beard growing. The prickling scrape against her soft cheek was like a match against stone and she stiffened like a rod at his warm breath tickling her ear.
“What of you?”
“What about me?” She dared to look up at him.
“No man ever caught your attention working at that inn of yours? You must have seen hundreds pass through.”
Aradia couldn’t help but chuckle. “No, never. It wasn’t like that and no one ever paid any heed to me.”
Speaking it aloud, only showcased how set apart her life truly had been. The thought sobered her.
“Not even Quinn?”
She stilled at his words. The question had slipped out as careless and light, but she knew he was more than intrigued. A protectiveness edged its way into her voice.
“No. He’s my best friend. It could have never been more than that.”
Kaiden hummed in answer. “Did you want it to be more?”
She sighed, thinking hard on the question and knowing in all complete honesty she had only once imagined a real future with Quinn. It was quickly doused by the knowledge that while his mother loved her as a family friend, Quinn would have never gotten the approval to marry “beneath” him.
“No,” she whispered instead.
Kaiden remained quiet, but she swore she felt his body relax against hers.
A loud crash came from the second floor, making her jerk upright.
“What was that?” She opened her eyes as wide as possible, trying to take in any danger.
Kaiden stretched and laughed. He rubbed his eyes and sighed. “It was probably Fintan and Cahira.”
“What do you mean?” Aradia scrunched her eyebrows in confusion but was met with silence.
She turned to see Kaiden watching her, a slow smile across his face. Heat bloomed in her face when she caught the meaning of his words.
“Oh.” She cleared her throat.
Kaiden chuckled. “You’re safe with me, Aradia.”
His hand wrapped around the back of her neck and gently pulled her back down to him.
There it was again. The small kernel of desire built until it warmed her whole body. His hand moved into her hair, massaging her scalp and she barely held in a sigh. His thumb brushed the tip of her ears and curved down to her lobe and back up.
She didn’t remember how long he had comforted her with soft strokes on her jawline. But as her body relaxed and eyelids grew heavy she fell into a deep sleep.
When she awoke, the bed was still warm, but Kaiden was nowhere to be seen.