Chapter 12 Shots Fired! #2
She melted, flat-out melted.
Do it. You gotta do it.
She wrapped her hand around his, pulled him into the room. He held her close, kissed the top of her head. “I got you.”
She hugged him hard, then she relaxed against him. To her surprise, the anxiety subsided, the fear began to retreat. When she broke away, he dropped a soft kiss on her lips.
“What can I do for you?” he asked.
She sat on the edge of the bed. “Are you okay?”
“I’m never okay,” he replied, “but I’m relieved Slash wasn’t killed, that we all weren’t gunned down by that monster.”
“How can you bounce back from this so quickly?”
“Who says I do?” Pausing, he stroked her hand with his thumb. Soft, gentle caresses while kind eyes peered into hers. “But this isn’t about me. It’s about you, Sydney. If you’d followed Tucker’s rules, and you didn’t have your weapon, we’d all be dead. Thank you for saving us.”
She offered him a nod of acknowledgment.
“I think that’s what triggered my PTSD,” she said. “I would have been on that rooftop watching him take all of you out.” The realization had her hugging herself to self-soothe.
“But you don’t follow the rules,” he said. “You, Sydney Austin, are a baddie who has my utmost respect.”
“Thank you.”
“I’m here for you,” he said. “Whatever you need, for as long as you need my support.” Then, he smiled. A simple, loving smile that had her breathing deep and releasing the anxiety in her exhale. His thoughtfulness—his focus on her—sent relief flooding through her stressed nervous system.
“Please, keep going,” she prodded. “You’re helping me calm down. Tell me about you, about life after college.”
“After undergrad, I worked for Luciano, only he didn’t want me to work at his clothing business, Santini International.
I worked for him as an assassin.” He paused.
“I thought that the life—the one I knew from childhood—was behind me. Nope. I’ve gone on hits with Luciano, Greystone, my cousin Carrera, and a few with Sin and Dakota.
When Luciano took the restaurant away from our uncle, I jumped at the chance to run it.
It was the first normal job I’ve had. Then, Dakota pulls me into this group for The Day of Destruction mission.
This is an insane way to go through life.
At the end of the day, these missions are just assignments, but when innocent people die in front of me, those stay with me. The ones I can’t save.”
She nodded, hoping he’d continue. She liked that he had a heart, despite being a ruthless assassin. She liked that he talked about how he felt. She liked that beneath his hard exterior lay a man she wanted to spend time with, learn everything about.
“What caused your PTSD?” he asked.
She crossed her leg, uncrossed it. She turned toward him, then pushed off the bed.
Every muscle, every cell, every fiber was telling her to run, to flee so she wouldn’t have to talk about it.
Talking ripped open the wound. She’d talked to people who were kind, who wanted to help, but ultimately, she would leave the safe space of their offices and return to her reality.
Where the demons visited her in her dreams and haunted her days.
“When I was ten,” she began, “I was playing in my front yard with my best friend. We were jumping rope in the driveway. It was a Saturday and she’d come over for a lunch playdate.
We’d been friends since the first day of first grade.
” Sydney smiled at the sweet memory. “Her dad pulled up to the curb.” A shudder ran through her.
“He got out, shot her, then he pointed the gun at me—”
“Jesus.”
“Instead of shooting me, he turned the gun on himself and shot himself in the head.”
The pain and emotion that lurked just below the surface came out in a whoosh. Her heart squeezed so hard, she rubbed her chest. It was like it happened yesterday, not twenty-one years ago.
He stroked her back, then held her hand. “I’m sorry.”
“It was absolutely terrifying and hard to describe. I was screaming, but I don’t remember that. My dad came rushing outside. He carried me into the house, but I remember wanting to go back outside to help Briana.” She paused. “I called her Bree.”
“What happened to Briana?” he asked.
“She died. He did too.”
“How sad. Why did he kill her?”
“Her parents were divorcing and she got caught in a custody battle. I didn’t understand this until years later. All I knew was that she was living with her mom and she didn’t get to see her dad very much.”
“I want to hold you,” Tank said, “but I don’t want to crowd you.”
She smiled. “You’re the most communicative man I’ve ever met.”
Tank chuffed out a laugh. “Yeah, I’m not like my brothers. I think it comes from Elsa. She talked to me all the time.” He patted his leg. “Can I hold you?”
She sat on his lap, rested her legs over his, and he held her close. She kissed his cheek, then dropped a soft kiss on his lips.
“We should be fooling around,” she said as she breathed him in. “This is too heavy.”
“We’ll get there,” he said. “Did you get help?”
“Tons,” Sydney continued. “My parents were amazing. Caroline’s a year younger.
The day Bree was killed, she and my mom were out shopping.
I was so happy she wasn’t there. She found out, but I tried not talking about it in front of her.
I ended up sleeping in this oversized chair in my parents’ bedroom, then Caroline and I shared a bedroom.
I talked to therapists, doctors. So many people. ”
“How did you end up an assassin?”
“Ironic, huh?”
Knock-knock.
Sydney scrambled off him, opened the door. Caroline and Grey were standing there.
“Just making sure you’re okay,” Caroline said. “I’m glad you’re not alone.”
“Our heroine,” Grey said.
Sydney smiled. “I’m okay. Tank has been super supportive, amazing really.”
Grey nodded. “Sounds like my brother. Tank’s our rock. Caroline and I are gonna make dinner.”
“You don’t have to stay,” Tank said.
“We’re gonna work,” Caroline said. “We’ve got to put together a strategy—”
“We’re not safe,” Grey said. “The terror cell is making good on their promise. I thought they’d be coming after me or Tank first, but they’re attacking all of us. The team is on lockdown at home. Caroline and I are gonna crash here for the night.”
“How’s Slash?” Sydney asked.
“Still in surgery,” Caroline replied.
“Tank, thanks for being there for me,” Sydney said. “I’m gonna take a quick shower, then help with dinner.”
She ushered everyone out, including Tank, and shut the door.
After stripping down, she turned on the shower faucet and entered the stall. While she waited for the water to heat, she went through her mental health checklist.
I’m okay.
Those I need to protect are safe.
I can’t control everything. I can do my best to control my own actions and my own words.
I’m doing the best I can.
She continued reciting all the mantras she’d used over the years, but as she moved to stand under the hot spray of water, her thoughts drifted to Tank.
She was falling in love with him. Getting close to someone terrified her.
After Bree had died, she’d kept others at a safe distance.
Though Naomi had been her closest work friend, she’d never shared her trauma with her.
Keeping it to herself allowed her to keep her emotions in check.
It allowed her to keep others at arm’s length too.
By letting Tank in, she’d made herself vulnerable. And that had unleashed her innermost feelings.
Yes, she was human, but she was an assassin. Like Tank, it was a job. But it was also a way of changing the narrative in her own life. By taking out these bad guys, maybe she was saving innocent women from the clutches of death by a wolf in sheep’s clothing.
At the end of the day, that’s what Bree’s dad had been.
A shudder ran though her as she shampooed her hair. She closed her eyes and the demons came racing toward her. And just like in her nightmares, she imagined raising her weapon and firing.
TEDDY
Teddy wanted to be there for Sydney, but not smother her. He also wanted to make everything okay, but that was something he could not do for her.
Growing up, he’d been the peacemaker. He was the one who would tell his brothers to stop fighting. Even as a child, he would insert himself into the many arguments between his parents and threaten to run away if they didn’t stop.
For reasons he now understood, they’d stop screaming long enough to laugh at him.
Relieved the yelling had stopped, he never once realized that his threat didn’t affect them one iota.
They were each too mired in their own lives—their own petty bullshit—to be concerned about their youngest. Truth was, if Teddy had run away, his parents probably wouldn’t have noticed.
And might not have cared.
Even so, Teddy was the one who desperately wanted their family to get along, to be a family that played board games, had movie nights, took fun family vacations.
The one constant in his life was the Sunday dinners at his grandparents’ house.
There, attention was heaped on him, by both Elsa and his grandfather.
There, he was special. But most importantly, he watched his grandfather treating his grandmother like a queen.
He watched two adults who loved each other fiercely, who respected each other, and genuinely liked being together.
They were the calm in the center of every whirling, raging hurricane that ripped through the Santini family.
So, when it came to Sydney, he needed to take his foot off the gas. To offer her support, let her know he cared, but not push. Pushing might shove her away.
And he didn’t want to lose her.
He showered, dressed, re-holstered his Glock, and knocked on Sydney’s door.
She opened it and his heart jumped into his throat. Her long, dark hair cascaded down her chest and over the swell of her breasts. She’d dressed in a white shirt and black jeans, combat boots on her feet.
“You look great,” he said.