Chapter 17
CHAPTER SEVENTEEN
Everleigh
Voila - Pull the Plug
I was lying in bed, completely clouded by darkness. My heart was still racing from the events that had transpired earlier tonight. Anytime I closed my eyes, Jameson was right there. His hands on me, his mouth on me. It was easily the best orgasm I’d had in three years. It didn’t matter that people were watching. It didn’t matter that my boyfriend was right there. In that moment, it had just been the two of us.
Turning over in my small ass bed, I faced the wall, my breathing labored as if he was still touching me. He might as well have been. It was all I could think about. If these guys wanted to ruin me, they were slowly succeeding. My eyes fluttered closed for the hundredth time tonight. I was still on edge and restless, but I couldn’t afford to be too tired to care for my family tomorrow, so I did my best to rid my mind of tonight’s events.
Eventually, sleep took over.
My eyes snapped open to an ear-shattering scream, the blood instantly draining from my body. I jerked out of bed, throwing the blankets from my body before running down the hallway toward the sound.
“Briley?” I called out, my heart thundering in my chest. I looked both ways before spotting my sister in the doorway of my mom’s room.
Briley looked over at me, tears clinging to her dark lashes. “I just went to check on Mom,” she said, her lower lip trembling. “She’s not?—”
I tuned her out, my entire body going on high alert. I knew what she was going to say, and it wasn’t an answer I’d accept. Before my mom got sick, she was a good parent. She always made sure we had what we needed, and even what we wanted when it was within her budget. She tried her best, and that’s all that mattered. She bought me my first bike, she put me in soccer, and took us to water parks for family vacations. She tried her damn hardest for us.
I stumbled through my mom’s door and flicked on the light. Mom was still in bed where she’s been most of the week. She was on her back this time, which was weird, because she hated falling asleep on her back. Always said it was uncomfortable to her.
With shaky legs, I approached her bedside and sat on the edge. “Mom?” I whispered. When she didn’t reply, I placed a hand on her chest. She felt completely stiff. How long had she been like this? Bringing my fingers to her neck, I pressed them against her carotid artery. Not even the faintest flutter. Shit.
Tears blurred my vision, but I couldn’t afford to break down. Not when my family needed me to be strong. I stood and walked over to where Briley was standing, sobs racking through her small body. I wrapped my arms around her, pulling her against me firmly. She melted into me and started to cry harder.
We stood like that for a while. Until her eyes were red and my shirt was drenched with her tears. “She seemed fine yesterday,” she blubbered.
The truth was that Mom hadn’t been fine in a long time. She’d been a well-respected member of Brookhaven at one point, so there was no doubt that her death would hit the newspapers. That was another obstacle I didn’t want to go through—one that Briley shouldn’t have to go through. It would be okay, though. We’d get through this just like we got through everything. Mom had made me Tate’s and Emma’s legal guardian as soon as she started getting sick, so I could take them to and from school and to doctor’s appointments. They wouldn’t be taken from us because of this.
Pulling away from my sister, I glanced at her. “Go into Emma’s and Tate’s room,” I ordered. “Don’t let them exit until I say so. I’m going to call the police.”
She nodded. “What do I tell them?”
“Nothing right now. We’ll tell them together.” Tate was old enough to understand death, but still, it was a conversation I was dreading. They loved our mom, holding onto the false hope that she’d somehow get better. Breaking this to them was going to be brutal.
Briley made her way down the hall. When I heard the door click to their bedroom, I hurried back into my room and grabbed my phone. I quickly dialed the number, my eyes blurring so badly I could barely see anything. I rambled off what had happened to the dispatcher, and they asked me the basic questions they always did. Once they had all their information, I tossed my phone on the bed and waited.
While the cops searched my mom’s room and investigated, I made some French toast and bacon before carrying three plates into my youngest sibling’s room, offering them all one. Briley was numb as she accepted her plate, seated on the edge of Emma’ bed.
“What’s going on?” Tate asked. “I have to pee.”
“Hold it for a little while longer if you can,” I replied. “I’ll go get you guys some orange juice.”
I made my way back into the kitchen, fixing three glasses of juice before returning to the room they were all huddled up in. I offered a glass to each of them and left to go fix up my own plate. I slipped into one of the many seats at our kitchen table while I ate and sipped, my mind whirling a million miles a minute. Usually when Mom got really bad, it would only last for a week or two, and then she’d bounce back and carry about her day like nothing had happened. But that wasn’t the case this time. She just gradually got worse and then that was it.
Dad should have been here. She shouldn’t have had to die alone in the middle of the night. He was a fucking coward. He was the one who deserved to suffer alone, not my poor, helpless mother.
Things used to be so much simpler. When we were one big happy family, and the only thing I had to worry about was school and boys. High school drama was my biggest problem back then. Looking back now, it was laughable. It was so easy to take people and life for granted when you thought you had all the time in the world. This was only proof that anyone could drop dead at any given moment, without any notice even.
With shaky fingers, I dialed my grandma’s number. She answered almost immediately.
“Hi, Grams,” I muttered into the speaker, trying to keep my voice low. “I hate to ask this, but is there any way that Emma and Tate could spend the day with you? I’ll pick them up tonight, and?—”
She cut me off almost immediately. “You know I don’t mind them coming over. Is everything okay?”
I braced myself, sucking in a deep breath. “No. Mom passed away in the middle of the night.” A choked sob forced its way from my throat before I could even attempt to rein it in. It felt like my entire life was falling apart, one thing after another.
Grandma was silent on the other end for a long while. Her relationship with my mom had been strained for years, but she’d have to be a piece of shit to not feel anything about her own daughter dying. There was shuffling on the other end, and I heard my grandma yelling at her husband to come get Tate and Em, followed by quiet crying. She must have felt guilty for not fixing their relationship sooner, but I knew that my mom still loved her, despite their distant relationship.
“Herbert is on the way,” she told me. “They’re welcome to stay as long as your family needs. If that’s only a few days, or even a few weeks, I don’t mind.”
Relief flooded through me. “They have school,” I reminded her.
“I think I can manage. Just make sure I’m on their pick-up and drop-off list. I’m sorry you’re going through this, Everleigh. If you’d like to stay with me for a little while, too, that’s okay.”
It would be nice to get out of this nasty house, but I couldn’t. The world didn’t stop turning for anyone. “Thank you for the offer, but I have work and grocery shopping. The landlord will be stopping by any day now.”
She was silent for a few moments. “You’ve really been running that household, haven’t you?”
“Pretty much. Mom has been too sick to do anything,” I admitted.
“Your mother is lucky to have you.” She paused, the tension in the air becoming thicker. “ Was ,” she corrected. “I love you, Everleigh. Let me know if you need anything. Herbert will be on his way shortly.”
“I love you too, Grams.”
The line went dead between us, and I placed my phone on the table beside my drink and closed my eyes. My chest was rattling with silent sobs, and for a moment, I wondered how we’d get through this. But then I remembered, I’ve been doing it all on my own this entire time. This didn’t change anything. As much as it hurt, that was my reality.
The door to the front of the house swung open, putting me on high alert. My posture went rigid, expecting some gang banger from the northside to storm in here with guns blazing. When I realized it was just a few EMT workers, my shoulders slouched in defeat. They rolled a stretcher down the hallway, their voices carrying through the air. Within twenty minutes, they were retreating with my mom’s body, a sheet draped over her.
Throughout most of the day, it was a revolving door of cops. It was easy to see that she died from an illness, so the investigation was closed as fast as it had opened. My grandfather picked up the youngest kids during the commotion and gave me a tight hug. He offered to let me and Briley come, but we decided against it. We both needed to be alone right now.
The house felt weird without the kids here and without my mom. It was almost…ominous. My chest was tight with pain and tension as I cleaned up after breakfast, seemingly in slow motion. My eyes were raw, and I wasn’t sure how long I’d cried for. Briley had shut herself in the room we shared, and I couldn’t bring myself to interrupt her.
Mom had once been my closest confidant. It was heartbreaking watching her morph into a person I didn’t even recognize. She was in so much pain, fighting for her life, which proved to be pointless in the end. Even though Mom didn’t approve of some of my choices growing up, she never faulted me for them or made me feel bad about them. She just gave me advice and tried to help guide me the best she could. Aside from her little freakout when she first caught me and Ashton together in the maze. A sad smile tugged at my mouth at the memory. In her eyes, I was still her little baby back then. She didn’t even know I’d paid any mind to boys at that age. She came around more quickly than expected, giving me the safe sex talk which I still practiced to this day. I knew there was no way in hell I could afford a baby right now.
A sigh fluttered past my lips as I washed the dishes, the warm water seeping into my hands. Life used to be so easy. I had both parents, sure they bickered frequently, but it usually wasn’t over anything major. I had two close friends and a boyfriend who I loved immensely. My siblings were happy and thriving. Watching the light slowly fade out of their eyes as time went on broke me more than anything ever could.
I tried my hardest for them. But it never felt like it was enough. Somehow, despite my efforts, I kept failing. Maybe they would be better off with a family who could financially provide for them and make them happy. Tears stung my eyes as that thought lingered in the back of my mind. My only fear was that they’d be separated, and I wasn’t sure I could stomach it if that were to happen.
Briley stepped into the kitchen with round puffy eyes. Her face was red from how many times she rubbed her palms across it to rid herself of the tears. I turned off the water, dried my hands off with a towel hanging from the hook, and then made my way over to her.
“How are you feeling?” I asked gently.
She glanced away, her shoulders shaking on a ragged breath. “Like death.”
I nodded, my heart aching for my younger sister. She’d been close to Mom too like I had been. She was old enough to hold onto those memories. “There’s a bar around here that doesn’t ID,” I told her. “The guys used to take me there. Do you want to go?”
I didn’t necessarily condone drinking your problems away, but Mom just died today, and we had cops and EMT workers running in and out for hours. If it would help ease the pain, even temporarily, then I was willing to do that for her.
“Sure.” She sighed. “Can Angie come? I really need a friend right now.”
“Of course. I’ll call Amber and we can make it a girl’s night.”
Amber and I were sitting side by side in one of the booths with Briley and Angie opposite us. Bry had cleaned up well, fixing her hair and applying some light makeup to hide her red, puffy skin. I preferred to be alone when upset, but Briley was the opposite. She liked trying to distract herself from the pain by going out and doing whatever she could, so she didn’t have to think about it. Because of that, she’d been known to make reckless decisions, but it was her life. I didn’t want to take Mom’s place or try to coddle her. She was an adult and could make her own choices.
Angela shifted forward, toying with the straw in her fruity drink. She had light brown skin and dark brown hair that was naturally curly, but she usually straightened it when going out. She used to get Briley in all sorts of trouble growing up, but she’d stuck by her side regardless, and I had to appreciate her loyalty. We all sat in silence for a while, letting the alcohol fill our veins before any of us dared to speak. I had to tap into my savings container for the occasion, but it was worth it.
“I’m starting to feel better.” Briley laughed with glassy eyes. She had ordered a martini and had already nearly finished it off.
Angie smiled over at my sister, sympathy shining in her dark colored eyes. “Good. Because I’ve been dying to spill the beans on something I just found out about.”
Angela went to Northbrook University, too. But I think her classes differed from Briley’s. I didn’t see them together often. They were both incredibly smart when it came to academics and yet, neither one of them contained much common sense.
“What is it?” Briley asked.
“You know that old sorority house that had been shut down due to some girl killing herself in it?”
I’ve heard that story a lot. There were several different rumors floating around about what happened there. Some people claimed she was pushed off the balcony over a guy, others said she was drunk and was dared to walk on the outside of the ledge and fell, and some stated that she just jumped because life had gotten too difficult for her. It was sad that I could relate to that feeling. The one of hopelessness, of never knowing if things would get better or not.
“I’ve heard of it.” She nodded. “Alexis was telling me about it last week.”
“Yeah. Well, apparently someone’s turning it into a fraternity.” Angela glanced over at me with pursed lips. “Jameson and Kash actually. They just moved in on Friday. I saw them carrying their stuff over.”
Amber raised her eyebrows in surprise. They were the last two people I wanted to hear about. Anytime someone said one of their names, my heart started racing and my breathing thinned. I hated that they had such a hold over me, and I hated that Jameson got to touch me. What I hated even more, was the fact that I enjoyed it. I took another drink of my long island iced tea, allowing it to slide down my throat slowly.
“I have to go to the bathroom,” Amber said, turning to me. “Come with me?”
I knew that was code for her wanting to talk to me in private, so I stood and shuffled out of the booth. We made our way across the bar, which was more like a mini night club, and slipped into the bathroom. Amber glanced around, making sure it was empty before leaning against the bathroom counter.
She’d kept her distance for a while, letting me mourn my mom for a little while longer. But I knew it was killing her, knew that she probably wanted to talk to me about the party.
“I know this is completely out of pocket and you’re still mourning your mom, but I have to know,” she began. “Do you have feelings for Jameson Decker?”
The question was like a punch to the gut. My first thought was that she wanted to know because she was interested in him, and that had my chest tightening for reasons I didn’t even want to decipher. “He’s my ex-boyfriend’s best friend, Amber.” I shook my head. “It’s always been platonic between us.”
She didn’t look convinced. “You’re telling me the truth?” she asked skeptically. “Because there was so much sexual tension it was suffocating. Even Lucas and Ashton felt it. And I’ve never seen you kiss Lucas like that.”
“I’m being honest. I was drunk and caught up in the moment. Plus, it felt good to piss Ashton off at the same time.” I honestly didn’t even notice Ash when it was all happening, but if she said it bothered him, then I’d believe her. She had no reason to lie about something like that.
She laughed. “You’re a petty little bitch. I love it. Also, it was hot as fuck.”
I grinned back at her, happy that I got to have a small moment of normality. But it faded almost instantly when I remembered that she’d been paired with Ashton.
The bottle stopped on Amber, and she leaned forward, spinning it again for her partner. When it came to a stop, the snout was directed right at Ashton. It felt like the air had been jerked from my lungs. Ashton’s gaze found mine, a twisted smile curling the corners of his mouth, and I knew right then that I wasn’t going to like this at all. Amber shot me an apologetic look as she stood and adjusted her black dress. She made her way over to him and he was grabbing her instantly, pulling her down on his lap. His hands moved to grip the hem of her dress, and he pushed it up her thighs, revealing a lacy red thong.
My stomach bottomed out when he kissed her roughly and grabbed her hips. He started grinding her down on him, and I knew he was hard. He had to be. As much as I didn’t want to watch, I couldn’t force myself to look away. After a few moments, he turned her so that her back was to his chest and he put his legs between her knees before spreading her, like he wanted everyone to see. His fingers slid beneath the bottom of her panties, and he began fingering her aggressively, making her writhe all over him until her legs were shaking. His eyes were locked on mine the entire time, a sadistic glint in them. I knew it had to be payback for what me and Jameson did, so I supposed it was warranted. Once she came, he slipped his fingers in her mouth, making her taste herself. And with his eyes locked on mine, he did the same, dragging his digits along his tongue. Right then, I decided that the asshole would never kiss me again.
Amber must have sensed where my train of thought had run off to, because she placed a hand on my shoulder. “It didn’t mean anything,” she said. “It was just part of the game.”
I snapped myself out of it and forced a small smile. “I know.” The game was simple. You were basically partnered up with a guy and they got to do whatever they wanted to you for ten minutes while you sat there and took it. If you really wanted out of it, you could quit the game and refuse, which surprisingly didn’t even cross my mind when I’d been paired with Jamie, otherwise I might have considered it.
Amber looped her arm through mine, and we headed back toward our table, resuming our seats. By the time we were done, we all felt at least tipsy. Briley was drunk off her ass while the rest of us didn’t drink nearly as much. Looks like I was on babysitting duty tonight.
On the bright side, my grandparents offered to keep the kids for the week at the minimum, and I took them up on that. I’d have to make some calls first thing in the morning and sign a few papers before my first class began, but me and Briley needed the break.
I took a shower when I got home and dressed in some skimpy nightgown Amber had gotten for me. It was silk and was surprisingly really comfortable. Clutching my pillow to my chest, I stared out into the darkness within my bedroom. My heart ached from what happened today. I couldn’t catch a break. Ashton was doing everything in his power to make things difficult for me with the help of his two friends, my mom just passed away, I was short on rent by three-hundred dollars, and I still haven’t even started my chemistry project that was due at the end of this month.
I just had to keep reminding myself that all of this was temporary. I was going to school for a reason, and eventually, it would pay off. One day at a time.
After drinking my body weight in coffee, I made my way up to the elementary school to sign some paperwork. It took a lot more time than I expected to, and by the time I was finished, it was already nearly eight in the morning which gave me less than six minutes to get to class on time. Briley decided to skip school today. She was taking it a lot harder than me, and I didn’t blame her. Pretty sure she was always Mom’s favorite, even if she was the one causing most of the problems in our youth. It was probably because she was younger and still relatively innocent when Mom got sick.
As soon as I pulled into the campus parking lot, I threw my bag over my shoulders and jogged across the cement. I’d left my hair down today due to being rushed this morning and applied my usual dark liner and cherry lip gloss. I was wearing an oversized gray sweatshirt and black leggings with some black and white converse shoes.
When I slipped into the class, Professor Whitlock immediately stopped talking, narrowing her eyes at me. I was only three minutes late, but she was a real hard-ass.
“You’re late, Ms. Knight. Would you like to tell us why?”
My skin crawled with the heat of everyone’s gaze and all of the emotions I kept bottled started rising to the surface. I was on the verge of a panic attack, my chest rising and falling in random increments. Everyone was staring, making it that much more humiliating.
“She looks like she’s going to be sick,” someone whispered, the words echoing through the quiet classroom.
Ms. Whitlock paid them no mind, her accusing glare focused on me. “You were almost late your first day, too, if I remember correctly. We have a strict policy?—”
She was cut off by an enraged Amber. “For Christ’s sake. Her mom just died yesterday, give her a damn break.”
I was torn between feeling relieved that she stepped in to save my ass or being horrified that she just announced that to the entire class.
I stumbled backwards a step, my insides burning with panic. I hated being the center of attention like this. Being called out for something as small as being a few minutes late to class. My stomach twisted with unease, and I grew lightheaded. I kept trying to suck in oxygen, but I couldn’t get enough.
Whispers erupted throughout the classroom, making it even worse. The ground tilted beneath me, my legs buckling under my weight before everything went black.