Chapter 19
CHAPTER NINETEEN
Everleigh
Fletcher - Bitter
T he diner was mostly dead when I arrived and clocked in. There were only a few customers sitting about and were already taken by another server. I had been hoping that it would be another busy day like last weekend had been. Rent was past due now, and the landlord was not a lenient man. It wasn’t like he was hurting for the money. He just enjoyed being an asshole.
My chest felt heavy as I got to work wiping down the counters, even though they were already clean. I couldn’t even try to convince myself that things would get better when in reality, they were just getting worse and worse as the days went on.
The life felt like it was slowly being drained out of my body. Piece by piece until eventually, there wouldn’t be anything left. Maybe it was a part of the grieving process, of having to care for my youngest siblings when I couldn’t even care for myself properly. Who knows.
It shouldn’t be this difficult to just simply live . My siblings deserved better. My mother deserved better. Now she was gone, forced to die alone because her former husband cared more about himself than he did any of us—the people he brought into this world and had sworn to protect. I hope he suffered the same fate.
A familiar voice sliced through my thoughts, startling me. “Fancy seeing you here.”
I raised my eyes from the task at hand, focusing on Lucas’s blue ones. Colt was by his side with his hands shoved in his pockets. At least it was just them and not the entire crew they tended to hang out with.
I forced a small smile, happy to have a table of my own, even if it was just them. Lucas always tipped me well when he came in, so it wasn’t like I’d be missing out on anything by accepting them.
“Table for two?”
I knew I should feel guilty about what happened with Kash—a better person would have. But I couldn’t even summon the energy to really give a shit about it. Instead, I was left wanting more from a person who should technically be off limits to me. It wasn’t like anything could happen between us. Not really. But fuck. He made me feel like a needy little whore. It was an experience I wasn’t well accustomed to.
Colt nodded in response and I grabbed a couple of menus before leading them over to a booth. They sat across from one another, and I got their drink order and headed off to make them. My head was still a mess of things, and it felt like my body was moving robotically while my mind was on another planet. Working usually helped to keep me busy, but with it being as slow as it was, I probably wouldn’t be so lucky tonight.
When I returned, Lucas grabbed my arm and pulled me into the seat beside him. I huffed a laugh. “I’m working,” I reminded him.
“We’re your only table. I’m sure your boss won’t bitch too much, and if he does, find another job.”
Annoyance flickered inside me followed by a current of rage. How fucking spoiled and na?ve could he be to think it was as simple as that? He had everything handed to him on a silver platter, just like Ashton. Plus, I liked my job. It was easy and even paid well every now and then.
I bit my tongue, not wanting to cause a scene. I didn’t even have the energy to argue with him. He could think whatever he wanted and perceive me however he wanted. It made no difference to me at the end of the day. Not when there were more important things on my mind.
“Are you guys planning on ordering food?” I asked instead, arching an eyebrow. “Because I’ll have to put your order into the system for the cooks.”
“It can wait,” he said, like I had all the time in the world. He rubbed his hand along my back in a soothing gesture, but it did little to soothe anything. In fact, it just annoyed me more.
The guys started talking amongst one another like I no longer existed. It was fine with me, though. My mind was on a constant loop. Kash. Ashton. Jameson. My mom. Briley. Tate. Emma. Rent. Soccer. My chemistry project. I was being suffocated by all the pressures that the real world was throwing at me. A part of me just wanted to give up, but it wasn’t an option. Sure, Briley could start staying in the dorms if that’s what she wanted, but what about Emma and Tate? They needed me, and I couldn’t let them down. Not like our father had.
Lucas’s words sliced through my thoughts, pulling me back to the present. He was still speaking with Colt, both of them in an animated conversation. “I can’t believe you fucked Crystal right there on the floor.” He laughed, like it was the best thing to happen since cell phones.
I couldn’t even prevent the eyeroll. I suppose I should be lucky that Colt never attempted going that far with me. He was usually respectful when it came to me, probably because of my relationship with Lucas. We’ve made out and he’s groped me, he’s had me blow him, but it hadn’t gone any further.
Colt snorted in response. “It was the only opportunity to fuck someone else without my girlfriend being pissed about it.”
Allison’s enraged face flashed through my mind, and I couldn’t even fight the laugh that bubbled up from my throat. “Oh, she was pissed,” I pointed out. And rightfully so. I might not have liked her at all, but Colt was still her boyfriend.
He flashed me a sheepish grin. “She was, wasn’t she?”
“How was it?” Lucas asked, causing me to look at him with raised eyebrows. Why did he want to know? Did he have a thing for Crystal, too? Did everyone want to fuck her? Ashton, Kash, Colt, possibly Lucas. What the hell? She was gorgeous, but there had to be someone who wasn’t attracted to her.
Colt shrugged. “Nothing to write home about.” His gaze found mine from across the table. “Hmm. Maybe you could let me have a spin with Everleigh, so I can cross that off my bucket list, too.” He said it in a teasing way, but it still got under my skin.
“Well, I can’t control what either of you do during Spin the Bottle,” Lucas replied, shifting uncomfortably in his seat.
I huffed out in annoyance, folding my arms across my chest. “I’m right here assholes,” I retorted dryly.
Lucas smiled at me, like it was no big deal. “If you want to fuck Colt, I don’t care. Not as long as you’re mine at the end of the day. But that goes both ways.”
I reeled back, confusion slamming into me. “What?” I balked. “Like an open relationship?”
“Kind of. You get one side piece, and I get one, I guess.”
My chest constricted. If he loved me like he claimed, why would he want that? Was that what Ashton wanted when we dated? Was that why he wanted to share me so badly? I stood up on shaky legs and stumbled out of the booth. I grabbed my notepad and a pen and glanced at them expectantly, ready to get this shit over with.
Lucas sighed, slouching back against his seat. “Don’t be like that, Everleigh. It was only a suggestion.”
“Don’t be like what?” I countered, feigning ignorance. “I’m just trying to take your order so I can do my job.”
He raised an eyebrow, not convinced in the slightest. “Everleigh…” He trailed off, a stitch forming between his brows like he didn’t know what else to say.
“It’s fine. Really. If there’s someone else you want, they’d probably be a better fit for you. We can break up if that’s what you want to do, but I’m not into sharing.”
His entire body tensed, and his eyes seemed to grow three shades darker. “We are not breaking up,” he growled. A chill swept down my spine, making my breath catch in the most humiliating way. He didn’t say it in a sexy way. It was completely unhinged and possessive.
I swallowed thickly and nodded, having nothing else to say to that. Not when he was acting like this and not when we had an audience. “What do you want to eat?”
As soon as they rambled off their orders, I wrote them down and put them into the computer along with the drinks they’d ordered previously. The diner steadily grew busier, but not enough to profit a whole lot. The guys didn’t bother me again and did end up tipping quite well to make up for the slow night. But I still wouldn’t be able to afford rent. That thought weighed me down as I clocked out and climbed into my car, preparing for the ride home.
My head hit the seat, and I clenched my eyes closed. Just one day at a time. It might not feel like it would get better right now, but it had to eventually. Right?
Sweat coated my skin as I sucked in mouthfuls of cold water, attempting to catch my breath after that rigorous practice. The slight breeze helped cool me down some, but considering that it was still summertime, it didn’t help a whole lot. I rarely showered in the locker room, but I was heavily considering it. After a few moments of contemplation, I stripped out of my clothes and hopped into one of the stalls, allowing the cold water to pelt against my skin.
Once I was freshly washed, I put on the clothes I’d worn to classes, thanking the universe that no one decided to dump anything on me today. Jameson must have forgotten, but small wins were still wins.
I stuffed everything back into my bag before throwing it over my shoulder and made my way out into the parking lot. My eyes skimmed the area until they landed on Ashton. He was leaning against my car like he owned the damn thing. My heart started thumping wildly in my chest, like it did anytime he was near.
My footfalls slowed as I remembered what happened the last time he cornered me near my vehicle. If this was another attempt to humiliate me, he would be sorely disappointed. I wasn’t falling for that bullshit again. His eyes were cold and distant while he watched me, probably annoyed that he had to wait on me at all. But fuck him. I didn’t ask him to do that.
When I finally approached, making sure to keep a good few feet away from him so he didn’t get any funny ideas about grabbing me again, I directed a glare of my own at him. Which was proving hard to maintain when my mind decided to conjure up things. Like how Jameson fingered me right there on the couch in front of him and had me suck his dick. Like how he nearly walked in on me and Kash making out yesterday.
I blew out a breath, shoving all of those unwanted thoughts to the back of my mind. “What do you want?”
“You’re coming to our place,” he said simply, stuffing his hands into his pockets.
I reeled back in surprise at the audacity of this asshole. “No, the fuck I’m not. I’m going home to work on my homework, eat, and relax.” My stomach growled in response, vibrating through me to drive my point home.
“You can do all of that at the frat house,” he said boredly, like he’d rather be anywhere else than trying to convince me to go to his place.
“I’m not going. Not unless this is about our chemistry proj?—”
“It is.”
My posture straightened at that. “Oh. Well, why didn’t you start with that?” Annoyance was pulsing through me. He could be mad all he wanted, but beating around the bush was just going to delay all this shit. And frankly, I’d rather not spend any more time with him than absolutely necessary. Regardless of how much my heart still wanted him even after all this time.
He rolled his eyes. “Figured you could put two and two together. Why else would I want you there?”
“Fair enough. Now move.”
He didn’t. He just kept leaning against my car, staring at me with that hard expression. I glanced around the parking lot, fear spiking through me when I realized we were the only people left. He wouldn’t hurt me, right? He was pissed at me and hated me, but he wouldn’t actually harm me, right? I hated that I wasn’t even sure about that now. Once upon a time ago, I would have sworn on my life that he wouldn’t lift a finger to hurt me, not unless we were fucking. But things were different now. He was different now.
I released a heavy sigh. “Ashton. Please fucking move. I’m tired and I’ve had a rough week. Annoy me tomorrow if you want, but just give me today.”
He pushed off my car at last, but instead of stepping aside to let me through, he started walking toward me. On instinct my body tensed and locked in place, my fight or flight instincts taking over. But I wasn’t doing either of those things. I was frozen with fear. Once he reached me, I had to crane my neck to look up at him. He’s always been freakishly tall. Even in high school. He made me feel like a polly pocket in comparison.
“We gave you yesterday. Sorry about your mom by the way. Tragic, really. But I’m sure she’s rejoicing wherever her spirit went off to at the knowledge that she doesn’t have to take care of you any longer.”
My lips parted in shock. He would really use my mother’s death to torment me? If he was willing to do that, then what else would he do? A fire lit beneath my skin. Anger mixed with agony.
Despite my better judgment, I took a step toward him. My entire body was shaking with rage, fear, and pain. But it was the anger that was winning out above the others. “Maybe,” I admitted, even though I knew he was wrong about her. She hadn’t taken care of me in a long time. It had been the other way around, and she loved me. My eyes darted up to meet his. “How’s your brother doing?”
I knew I was playing with fire. But if he could deliver low blows, then so could I. As expected, something dark flashed across his face, unleashing within him. He reached out, locking his hand around my throat. I squirmed against him, but it was no use. It only made him tighten his hold, depleting me of more oxygen. My hands latched onto his, trying to peel his fingers from my neck to no avail.
“You have some fucking nerve,” he growled. “We’re completely alone out here. I could do whatever I wanted to you, and you’d have no choice but to fucking take it.” As if to prove his point, he took his other hand and reached down the front of my shirt, slipping his fingers beneath my bra. His skin felt hot against mine and I was sure he could feel my heart hammering against my ribcage. With two fingers, he pinched my nipple, hard. I yelped in response, digging my nails into his wrist. There was nothing sexual about this at all. It was a power move. And another low blow at that.
But he wasn’t the only one with something up his sleeve. Mustering up as much courage as I could, I drove my knee into his groin, causing him to loosen his hold on me immediately.
“Fuck,” he hissed, cupping himself before buckling to the ground.
I grabbed a fistful of his hair, craning his head back. “Don’t touch me again.” I spit in his face for emphasis, letting him know that this was an equal playing field now. I wasn’t the same girl I once was. I’d fight back. The saliva landed on his cheek, but he didn’t even flinch. Instead, something flashed across his face that I couldn’t comprehend. He grinned maniacally, like this was the most fun he’d had in a while, and that just put me even more on edge.
I released him abruptly and moved to step away. He was still on the ground. I could probably make a clean break for it without him beating me to it. But as soon as I took a step, his arms were winding around me, and he was drawing me into his lap. My breath hitched in my throat, fear pushing through the adrenaline I’d felt moments earlier.
“I can’t fucking stand you,” he muttered, his demeanor much softer than it had been, which gave me some semblance of relief.
“Ditto,” I countered in an equally soft tone.
He leaned down, pressing his lips against mine which shocked the hell out of me. This was another attempt to humiliate me. He couldn’t overpower me like he tried to seconds ago—not without physically hurting me, so he switched tactics.
I started squirming against him and pushing against his chest, but he just tightened his hold on me, until I was forced to sag in defeat. My eyes burned with unshed tears. Tears I wouldn’t dare let fall because then he’d use them against me. If he wanted a kiss that damn badly, I’d give him one he couldn’t forget. I parted my lips, welcoming him despite my better judgment. But he kept it soft and sweet. Far from the hungry and demanding one Kash had given me. My head spun in confusion, old emotions rising to the surface. His tongue slid against mine for a moment before he pulled away, his hard mask falling back into place, hiding the old Ashton from view again.
His throat bobbed as he swallowed. “I didn’t mean what I said about your mom. But that’s the only apology you’re getting from me.”
“And I didn’t mean what I said about your brother.” I didn’t give a shit about how he was doing, so it wasn’t a lie.
His jaw clenched, and for a moment I thought he was going to freak out on me again. But he loosened his hold on me and helped me to my feet instead.
He left me standing near my car while he made a beeline for his that was parked across the street. What kind of game was he fucking playing? I could handle being degraded, called names, and even having drinks thrown on me. But my heart was sensitive, especially when it came to Ashton, Jameson, and Kash. So, if he was trying to emotionally torture me, I wasn’t sure how much more of that I could handle.
I released a sigh and unlocked my car before tossing my bag in the backseat. I scrambled behind the wheel and placed the key in the ignition. It was completely dark outside now. There were streetlights posted around the soccer field that did help light up sone of the parking lot and my headlights added more, allowing me to see more clearly. So, I cleared my mind the best I could, trying to focus on the positives instead. We were finally working on our chemistry project. I still had Amber and Briley to confide in. Lucas was a nice constant sometimes. I didn’t love him, but our time together wasn’t awful for the most part or anything like that. My grandparents were helping out as much as they could. And I had a steady job, even if it wasn’t ideal.
My heart slowed to a steady beat and tension rolled off my shoulders. I still had things to be grateful for. Just three more years, and I’d have my degree. Only one year until I qualified to get my LPN, which would easily pay me well. That was really all I needed in order to live. But getting my RN was the goal.
I found a spot near the back to park and grabbed my bag from the backseat, slinging it over my shoulder. The lights were on, bleeding through the windows and casting a bright hue along the darkened grass. The place was long overdue for an upgrade, especially the yard. But it didn’t look so bad on the inside when I’d been here last.
I glanced around at the other cars taking up the massive driveway, relief flooding my system when I spotted Amber’s car. At least I wouldn’t be alone in this.
I knocked on the door, waiting patiently for someone to answer. Voices sounded from inside and there was a lot of shuffling going on, indicating that people were moving around. When the door finally opened, it was Amber in the doorway, and I thanked the universe for that small miracle. But the pained expression on her face had me taking a step backwards absentmindedly.
“Is everything okay?” I asked.
She swallowed thickly, dropping her gaze to the porch before nodding. “It is, but?—”
Jameson poked his head around the door, his face lighting up when he saw me. But that wasn’t a good sign. It meant that he was happy about something. And that something usually had to do with getting under my skin.
“You coming in or what?” he asked, shouldering Amber out of the way. “Ashton’s been here for like a full three minutes.”
Had I really been lost in my thoughts for that long? It wasn’t a long drive over here. Instead of dwelling on it, I nodded and stepped through the threshold. The scent of pizza wafted through the air, making my stomach curl with hunger. By the looks of it, the guys had done more decorating around here. The living room now contained a giant TV mounted over the fireplace, and from where I stood, I could make out a leather armchair on the other side of the house.
“You hungry?” Jameson asked, but he didn’t wait for a response. He grabbed me by the elbow and steered me into the kitchen where Kash was fixing himself a plate. We exchanged glances momentarily before he quickly looked away, making me feel even shittier about that stupid fucking kiss. At least it hadn’t gone any further than that, though. So…small miracles.
Jamie handed me a paper plate before loading it up with two slices of pepperoni pizza. He grabbed a red solo cup next and filled it to the rim with Dr. Pepper. It was weird that he was doing anything for me, and that just made me more suspicious.
“What the hell is going on?” I asked.
Like Amber and Kash, Jameson wouldn’t meet my gaze. If they were all being weird, that meant Ashton was up to something. Something that he decided on his own.
“Can I talk to her for a minute before you throw her to the wolves?” Amber asked, propping a hand on her slender hip.
Jameson hesitated, his gaze darting between us for a moment. “Make it quick.” He sighed. “And short. She’ll find out soon enough.” He turned on his heels and made his way to the living room with Kash following behind him.
Amber turned to me, placing a hand on either one of my shoulders. “You’re about to see something really fucked up. They’re trying to get a reaction out of you. Tighten your mask and walk in there like the bad bitch you are.” Her voice was low, making it nearly impossible for even me to hear. My head spun with the possibilities of what they could have planned. I’ve already seen Ashton get a blow job from a bitch?—
Oh God.
My stomach twisted with disgust when I remembered him fingering Amber and then inserting them into his mouth. The same mouth that I swore I’d never kiss again.
Blowing out a breath, I did my best to calm my nerves. The last thing I needed was another panic attack. “I’m fine. Thanks for warning me,” I whispered robotically.
She shot me a small smile before dropping her hands to her sides. “Always, babe. Now come on.”
I followed her into the living room with a bored expression. But nothing could have prepared me for what I was walking into. My jaw tightened and I nearly lost my footing, but to my credit, it wasn’t noticeable.
Kash was seated on the far right of the couch, with Ashton on the left. My sister was perched on his lap, his gaze locked on mine. His hand was moving up and down her thigh, making my heart splinter into pieces. I sucked in a ragged breath, knowing I had no choice but to sit between them since Jamie was occupying the armchair. They planned this all out.
Briley perked up when she saw me but seemed completely oblivious to the fact that she was sitting on my ex-boyfriend’s lap. Did she not understand how deeply that would affect me? Did she even care?
I plopped down between them, my gaze moving to the TV that was playing. It only took me a few moments to realize it was a horror movie. I used to hate watching them alone. I’d always rope Jameson into doing it with me so I could hide my face in his arm. He used to make so much fun of me for it, too. But he never complained.
“I thought we were working on our project,” I reminded them, keeping my tone calm despite the raging war within my chest and head.
Kash placed a hand on my thigh, to stop my leg from shaking—which was apparently another nervous habit I’d picked up. I slowly exhaled, silently thanking him for pointing it out. He withdrew his hand, but my gratification was short-lived when Amber lowered herself onto Jameson’s lap. It was so natural, like this wasn’t the first time she’d done it, and I couldn’t even be mad because as far as she was concerned, I didn’t have feelings for him. But it had been a lie.
My eyes burned with the onslaught of tears threatening to fall. I couldn’t even blink or they’d escape. So, I casted my gaze up to the ceiling, sucking in breath after breath. Anything to calm my aching heart.
I shouldn’t care. But that was my little sister. As far as I knew, she was still a virgin. Would he pop her cherry like he did mine all for the sake of getting revenge? The thought of him having sex with her just created more wounds and a tear managed to trickle out despite my efforts.
Ashton whispered something in her ear, making her giggle. I wanted to escape. To run away and never look back. I tried to focus on the movie, but it was all blurry. Everything was blurry. It only took me a few seconds to realize he wasn’t whispering in her ear. He was kissing down her neck.
It was taking everything in me not to run away. I knew how pathetic that would look, and he would win. I couldn’t let him win.
I just didn’t know how to stop it.