Chapter 21
CHAPTER TWENTY-ONE
Everleigh
BOHNES - Take It Out On Me
M y grandparents lived out in the country, surrounded by acres and acres of greenery. I used to love coming out here as a kid, but when their relationship grew distant with our mother, those visits became less and less frequent. The grass was freshly mowed, stretching out from the two-story house that resided on it. Grandpa was always ambitious when it came to taking care of the yard. It was nice to see that it hadn’t changed. A small smile graced my lips at the knowledge. Even if everything else in my life had been altered, at least there was one thing that hadn’t.
I stepped out of my car and slowly made my way up the long, narrow walkway. The cement looked relatively new, meaning Grandpa had worked on that recently as well.
When I reached the door, I tapped my knuckles against it a few times, eager to see Tate and Emma after being away from them for the last three days.
Grandma opened the door, her eyes crinkling at the corners when her gaze settled on me. Even though she was short, she was still a few inches taller than me, and I couldn’t help but to curse my mother for passing those genes along to me. Briley got our father’s height, making me the shortest out of the three of us.
“If I had known you were stopping by, I would have baked a pie or something,” she said, opening the door wider.
Her graying hair was pulled into a bun on the top of her head. She was dressed in a long jean skirt with a pink blouse. She always looked well put together and I was a little envious about that fact. I was wearing a pair of sweats and a T-shirt, not having the energy to pick myself up off the floor today.
“That’s not necessary, Grams. I just want to see Tate and Emma.”
“Of course.” She smiled.
I stepped into the house, glancing around. The floors were carpeted and clean and the walls were painted white. It looked just how I remembered, except for new shelves adorning the walls.
The door clicked shut behind me, and she rested a gentle hand on my shoulder. “You know,” she began. “You’ve been under a lot of stress. Tate and Emma have been very well behaved. They’re welcome to stay here as long as you’d like. We have the extra space and the financial means.”
I knew she was offering out of the kindness of her heart, and because she wanted to make up for lost time with them. But it was difficult to just…hand them over. Wouldn’t that be abandoning them? My chest constricted at the thought. I knew my grandparents could provide for them better than I ever could. And Grams has made this offer before. It was just hard to lose even the slightest bit of control.
“Just consider it, okay?” she asked, smiling softly at me.
I nodded, not ready to give her an answer just yet. It would only be temporary. Long enough for me to finish out the school year and get my LPN.
Voices sounded from upstairs, followed by the thudding of footsteps. Emma ran down first, her hair in disarray around her head as she squealed with Tate right on her heels.
“Give it back, Emma!” he yelled.
Emma was having too much fun, though. She practically ran right into me, not paying any attention to where she was headed. When she realized who she’d just stumbled into, her features brightened.
“Everleigh!” She dropped whatever she was holding, which looked like some kind of gaming device, and wrapped her arms around my hips in an attempt to hug me.
Warmth spread through my chest as I ran my fingers over the back of her head. Tate wasn’t as affectionate. He scooped the gaming device up off the floor and looked it over for damages before finally acknowledging my presence.
“You’re not taking us home, are you?” he asked skeptically. “I don’t want to go back there.”
A sharp pain slashed through my chest, followed by guilt. I never even thought to ask him about what he wanted. Ever since Mom died, I’ve been completely distant when they probably needed me the most.
“Tate…” I trailed off.
“No, Everleigh. I can’t go back there. Back to where me and Emma had to share a room. Back to watching Mom get sicker and sicker every single day in that house. Back to watching you work your butt off to make money and never being paid enough. Back to watching Briley start starving herself. I can’t do it. Please don’t make me.” Desperation was written all over his face and it made me feel even shittier. I’d done my best to shield them from everything, but I could only do so much.
“It’s okay,” I whispered. “I’m not taking you back right now.”
His shoulders dropped with relief and he nodded firmly.
“Do you want to see our rooms?” Emma asked, looking up at me with excitement.
Grandma chimed in. “It’s not much,” she admitted. “I wasn’t sure how long they were staying, so I only got the basic necessities.”
“Sure.” I forced a small smile for their sake, even though I was crumbling on the inside.
Emma pulled away, threading her fingers with mine. I allowed them to lead me up the stairs and into a rather large room. I could tell immediately that this one was Tate’s. His bed was made up nicely with a set of dark blue sheets, comforter, and matching pillowcases. Against the left wall was a blue clothing hamper with a few outfits already resting at the bottom. The room was pretty plain, but I didn’t expect anything more. It was perfect for him. And if he got to stay here, Grandma would fix it up even more.
We made our way to Emma’s room next. Her bed was smaller and had a thick pink blanket tucked around the mattress. Her pillows also matched. The room was a spitting image of Tate’s, but pink.
“Wow.” I breathed. “You guys must like having your own rooms, huh?” I turned to look at them and they were both nodding.
My eyes fluttered closed as I tried to summon the strength to calm my aching chest. I’ve taken care of them for the last two years. I’ve tried my damn hardest to do right by them and always put them first. But it was never enough. And if they stayed with me, they’d continue to suffer. I still didn’t know how I was going to pay rent. They deserved so much better than I could give them.
“Why don’t you guys go play while I talk to Grandma for a bit,” I suggested, trying my best to keep my tone neutral.
Tate eyed me suspiciously but grabbed onto Emma’s arm and pulled her down the stairs. I waited until I heard the back door open before turning to my grandma.
“I’ll let them stay for a year. But I’m keeping guardianship, and I get to see them whenever I want to.”
Grandma nodded. “Of course, dear. My goal here isn’t to take them from you. I just want to help.”
“Thank you. I’ll bring some of their stuff by in a few days.” My voice sounded robotic, even to my own ears.
We made our way back down the stairs and I glanced out the sliding glass door that sat in the kitchen, giving us the perfect view. Tate and Emma were running around, kicking a soccer ball back and forth, and they were laughing.
Really laughing.
Grandma put a hand on my shoulder, causing me to rip my gaze from my youngest siblings and direct my attention at her. “They’ll be okay here, Everleigh. You can come see them every single day if that’s what you want.” She laughed, but I could tell she meant that.
I turned so that I was facing her, and I pulled her into a hug. “Thank you.” She hugged me back, and for once…I felt content. Despite the burning in my chest from having to part with Emma and Tate, I was content knowing that there was still someone in my corner, someone who genuinely wanted to help me. And I would hold onto that to get me through the rest of this bullshit, even if I couldn’t tell her about it.
After work, I showered and started getting ready for bed. I slipped on one of the skimpy nightgowns Amber had gotten for me. This one was see-through and laced, rather than the silky ones I’d been wearing. But it was surprisingly just as comfortable. Briley still wasn’t home, so she was probably staying at her new boyfriend’s house tonight. That thought was a bitter one. Would he do the same things to her he used to do to me? Would he make her feel just as special and loved?
My hand trembled as I turned the light off and climbed into bed, clutching my comforter tightly against my chest. I had several missed calls from Lucas, but I wasn’t in the mood to get into an argument with him. By now, the entire school had probably seen what happened between me and Ashton, and I’d like to stay in my little bubble of ignorance for a little while longer.
I closed my eyes, trying to find the will to fall asleep. But my head was a mess of things, and I wasn’t really that tired. So, I decided that maybe now would be a good time to go through some of my mom’s things. Briley would probably take over her room, or she could have Tate’s and Emma’s since they wouldn’t be staying here anymore.
I climbed out of bed and retreated into the hall. My eyebrows furrowed when I noticed the blinding light bleeding beneath the door leading to my mother’s room. I could have sworn I’d turned it off, but maybe not.
I reached for the knob and twisted. Despite the house being in horrible shape, it didn’t even creak like the other doors did. Pushing it the rest of the way open, my heart plummeted into the depths of my stomach when I realized that I wasn’t alone like I’d initially thought.
Ashton was lying on his back, his pants pushed down to his ankles. His arms were resting beneath his head as my sister bobbed her head up and down as she sucked his dick, saliva running down the length of him from how sloppy and uncoordinated she was being.
Ashton’s gaze met mine, and I was suddenly, acutely aware of how little I was wearing. Especially when his eyes trailed over my body. My heart was hammering hard and all I could do was mumble an apology before slipping back into the hall and closing the door behind me.
Tears were running down my face and I couldn’t even find the effort to control them. My breath hitched on a sob as I made my way back into my room and grabbed a black, silk robe. I slipped my shoes on, not knowing where the hell I was going, but knew I couldn’t stay here.
I snatched my keys and stumbled through the house on numb legs.
Before I knew it, I was in my car, pressing on the gas on a road I vaguely recognized. It almost felt like an out of body experience. It wasn’t until I pulled up to Ashton’s frat house that my mind started to catch up with my body.
What the hell?
This was one of the last places I wanted to be. But it sure as hell beat my own house at the moment. I turned off my car and stumbled through the grass until I reached the door. I didn’t even care to knock. I just opened the door and peeked around the corner.
A breath of relief slipped past my defenses when it was empty.
I was so pissed. So hurt. So fucking tired.
I had no idea what I was doing here. But rage was driving my movements. I wanted to give them all a piece of my mind. To show them that they couldn’t break me. They had to have known what Ashton was doing right now. How badly it would hurt. Not only was my sister sucking his dick, but it was on my dead mother’s bed of all places.
That was a low blow. But I was starting to realize that they didn’t give a shit about any of that. I forced myself up the stairs, holding my robe closed. Tears were still tracking down my skin but fuck it. There was no stopping them at this point.
I jerked Jameson’s door open—since it was the only one I really recognized. He was seated on the edge of his bed, his face in his hands. It reminded me exactly of how he used to get when he thought of his father. He’d close himself off and lose himself to his thoughts.
I hated that I even gave a shit. He had no problem making my life a living hell. So, why should I care?
I let the door fall closed behind me, guilt snaking through my stomach and coiling tight around my heart. Blowing out a breath, I stomped over to him. He still hadn’t even bothered to look up, probably thinking it was Kash. It wasn’t until I sat beside him and wrapped my arms around him that he removed his hands and looked over at me in alarm.
“Everleigh?” he whispered in confusion. “What are you doing here?”
I shouldn’t be here, seeking solace in a guy who was currently aiding in my demise. I definitely shouldn’t be offering him comfort. But beneath all the hard exteriors, we were still the same people we’d been merely a few years ago. Sure, we’ve adapted to the cold world around us, but deep down, we were still those stupid little kids who just wanted to feel wanted.
I didn’t speak. I couldn’t. Not without bursting into a torrential downpour of ugly sobs. My body trembled with every sniffle, the image of Briley sucking off Ash at the forefront of my mind. At this point, I wasn’t sure he could hurt me anymore than he has.
Jameson sighed, snaking an arm around my waist. “Looks like we’re both having a shitty night, huh?”
It was then that I noticed his eyes were rimmed red, too. I didn’t smell weed or alcohol on him, so that could only mean one thing. My mind flashed back to when we were sixteen and I held him while he sobbed quietly in my arms after he’d had the living shit beaten out of him. He probably still had horrible PTSD from it. My arms tightened around him at the memory.
“What’s got you so worked up tonight?” he asked, rubbing his hand up and down my side. I hated how good it felt—how much it soothed me. He’d always been my comfort, even when he didn’t realize it.
“Ashton,” I choked out. I dropped one of my arms from around him and used it to palm the tears away. My eyes were raw from how much I’d been crying lately. “I walked in on him with my sister. In my mom’s bed.”
His entire body tensed, and for a moment, I thought he might be angry with me. He was on Ashton’s side, and it would always be that way. I didn’t want him to think this was some kind of lame attempt to get in between them. It wasn’t.
“Are you fucking kidding me?” he growled. “He was fucking her?”
I shook my head. “She was blowing him. But it was probably headed that direction.”
He blew out a breath and his posture relaxed, like that made it any better. “Well, if you’re trying to avoid him, coming here probably wasn’t the smartest move. He’s coming back home soon.”
I hadn’t even thought about that. It was embarrassing enough that he’d seen the inside of my house. Of course he wouldn’t want to spend the night there. “I didn’t even know I was coming here until I was here,” I admitted.
“Well, if it makes you feel any better, I’m glad you’re here.”
This was the Jameson I remembered. The one who made me feel safe and comfortable. I wanted to hold onto that for as long as possible. “Why are you upset?” I asked, changing the subject.
He hesitated for a moment, probably wondering if he should confide in me about it or not. But unless something else had happened to him, it wasn’t anything he hadn’t told me before.
“Every time I close my eyes, or even if I’m left alone for too long, I have these…flashbacks, I guess you could say.”
“Of your sperm donor?”
He smirked at the word I’d chosen to use and nodded. “Yeah. He was a real piece of shit.”
I glanced up at him, my head resting against the side of his arm. His features were sharper than I remembered, more manly. His light olive skin matched his brown hair. And he had these beautiful green eyes that I always loved. He was always attractive, but he was even more so now. He stared back at me for a while, something flashing across his face that I couldn’t quite decipher. But I didn’t hate it.
He shifted, turning his body toward me, causing me to release my hold on him. He was probably tired of me touching him. I tried not to let that thought bother me, but it did. I straightened my posture so that I wasn’t leaning on him anymore.
His eyes darted down my body, probably just now realizing that I was in a short, silk robe that barely reached my thighs. At least it hid my outfit from view. My face burned with humiliation regardless, though.
“Yeah, sorry,” I muttered, running my hands along the silk to smooth it out even though it didn’t need it to begin with. “I was in a rush.”
He reached out, cupping the side of my face with his warm palm. My breath hitched from the sudden contact as my heart rate accelerated. My eyes met his again, anticipation flooding through me. He slowly leaned in, testing the waters. His lips were a breath away from mine, but he didn’t proceed, almost like he was waiting for an invitation. After the shit month I’ve had—scratch that, after the shit two years I’ve had, I needed this. I didn’t even realize it until now.
I angled my head and closed the distance, falling into his kiss. It was slow, sensual, everything I fucking needed. His other hand latched onto my hip, and he pulled me against him. All I could think about was Jameson. The boy who would throw worms down my shirt, throw me into the lake, or any body of water he could find, the boy who watched scary movies with me and made fun of me when I hid, the boy who cried in my arms, the boy who was so crude and who always teased me whenever the opportunity presented itself.
My hands moved, latching onto the front of his shirt. I didn’t have to feel guilty about this anymore, and that made it even sweeter. He deepened the kiss, slipping his tongue through my lips. I sighed against him, welcoming anything he was willing to give me. Even if this was only temporary, it was a welcome relief.
But it all came to a screeching halt when Amber flashed through my mind.
I jerked away suddenly, like I’d just been slapped. “Fuck,” I said in alarm. “Amber.”
He didn’t release me. His eyes were hooded with lust, and he was tightening his grip around my hip. Not aggressively or in a way that told me he’d take what he wanted regardless, but firmly, like he didn’t want me to bolt.
“Everleigh…” he trailed off in a raspy tone. “I’m not even dating her. Not really. Just talking.”
I shook my head, my mind still foggy from the kiss we’d just shared. “I-I can’t do that to her.” I grabbed his left arm, removing it from my face before I started pushing his other one off my hip, but he didn’t relent.
“Please. Just this once. I’ll leave you alone after, if that’s what you want, but…” he trailed off, glancing away like he didn’t want me to see how vulnerable he was right now. But it was too late for that. And he did say they weren’t dating. It wasn’t like anyone had to find out about this. It could be our little secret, just like the one I’d shared with Kash.
My heart was pounding furiously, and I forced myself to act before I could talk myself out of it. I grabbed his face between my hands and smashed my lips against his. He welcomed me immediately, wrapping his arms around me and dragging me against his chest. The new position forced me into his lap so that I was now straddling him. He groaned, the sound bleeding into my mouth, vibrating through me.
I’d be a liar if I said that I’d never fantasized about this. He might have been the closest friend I had back then, but there was always something more I’d felt. It just took me a long time to come to terms with it. But I was done pretending. At least for right now.
He broke the kiss, dropping his lips to my collar bone. I shuddered against him, loving the way it felt. His mouth worked up the side of my neck and an embarrassing whimper slipped through my defenses, making my skin heat. The last time he’d touched me, there had been an audience, and it was because of a game. This was simply because we wanted to.
“Fuck, Everleigh,” he groaned, resting his head against my chest for a few moments. “I need to be inside you.”
My breath hitched with excitement, having that same exact need. “Then what are you waiting for?”
He reeled back in shock, like he hadn’t expected me to agree so easily. It was probably against my better judgment, but I just needed to forget that today had even happened. And being with him helped ease some of the pain.
“Fuck, okay.” He leaned forward and kissed me again, reaching to where my robe was tied and slowly undid it. A cool breeze swept over my skin from the air conditioning, causing my nipples to harden beneath the flimsy material of my skimpy nightgown.
“Goddamn.” He breathed, running his fingers over the lace. I wasn’t wearing anything beneath it, which meant that he could see everything .
I tried willing myself to be more secure, but it wasn’t an easy task. I wasn’t skinny like Briley or as confident as Amber. I wasn’t even that toned aside from my legs. All of that went out the window, though, when he started kissing down my chest, right above the sweetheart neckline of my gown. I trembled against him, my breath catching in my throat from how good and intense this felt. Like years of pent-up emotions were finally releasing. My hands threaded through his hair as his lips moved to my cleavage, his hands resting on my hips.
His dick was hard beneath me, and I started grinding against him, unable to help myself. He hissed out in pleasure, which only encouraged me more. He reached down with one hand, slipping it beneath my gown. His fingers brushed along my folds, making me jerk in his hold, but he just tightened his grip around me to hold me in place.
“You’re so fucking wet,” he muttered, rubbing his fingers against my clit.
Desire pooled inside me followed by currents of electricity as he rubbed a spot that had rarely been touched. Even when I got so worked up that I allowed Lucas to touch me, he was never into it—like he didn’t actually care about my own pleasure, and because of that, he did a shitty job with his half-assed attempt.
Fuck him.
“Can I tell you a secret?” Jameson asked as he eased a finger inside me. My back arched and a moan fluttered past my lips.
“Sure,” I replied breathlessly, grinding my hips in tune with his finger as it moved in and out.
He added a second finger, creating more pressure down there, but it still wasn’t enough. I needed him. All of him. “You were the first girl I ever loved,” he admitted, glancing up at me from where I still sat on his lap.
That confession did more to me than his fingers or dick ever could. I didn’t tell him that I’d felt something for him, too. Maybe I’d tell him later, but I didn’t want any more delays. I leaned in and kissed him, letting him feel just how much I’d cared, too. He removed his hand from between my legs, making me feel emptier than I had before we even started. I nipped his bottom lip, dragging it between my teeth and he groaned out in response. He reached for the hem of my gown and broke the kiss before pulling it over my head. His hand was wet from being inside me moments earlier and he used it to grope one of my breasts, brushing his thumb over my nipple.
He carefully eased me back on the bed and situated himself between my thighs. My heart started racing as he hooked his arms around my legs and used his fingers to spread me wide down there.
“Jamie,” I whispered in alarm. I couldn’t even remember the last time someone had eaten me out and it made my legs lock because of it.
“Relax,” he soothed. “You have such a beautiful, pink pussy. I want to taste it.”
His words helped calm some of the nerves warring within me and I reluctantly loosened my limbs. He leaned in, brushing his tongue over the crease, causing me to gasp out in pleasure. I was so sensitive down there right now that even the slightest touch could probably get me off. He licked me again, carefully testing the waters before plunging his tongue inside. I moaned louder this time, my hands latching onto his hair like before.
“Fuck,” I panted.
He added more pressure and started focusing on my clit. My legs trembled around him, and it was taking everything in me not to squeeze them together. Suddenly, nothing mattered anymore. Not my mom’s passing, not Emma and Tate, not Amber, not Ashton and Kash, and definitely not Lucas. Just me and Jameson.
He slipped a finger inside while he continued to flick his tongue over my clit and I moaned, wanting to hold onto this feeling forever. But he pulled away too soon, pumping his finger in and out a few times before withdrawing that, too.
“If I don’t fuck you right now, I’m going to cum in my pants,” he admitted, flashing me one of his rare boyish smirks.
He tugged his shirt over his head, followed by his pants and boxers.
“Condom,” I added frantically.
He nodded and moved to his bedside table. He rummaged around in the drawer for a few moments before grabbing one and peeled the wrapping off before slipping it on. My body was buzzing with electricity, and I knew that I needed him just as much in this moment as he did me.
He climbed on top of me, positioning a hand beside my head while using the other to line himself up with me. “Ready?” he asked, but I could tell it was taking everything in him not to slam inside of me regardless of what I had to say about it.
“Yes.”
He pressed the head against my entrance and slowly pushed his hips forward, easing into me. My breath caught in the back of my throat as he slid all the way in, making sure to keep his movements slow, so that I could adjust to his size.
When he bottomed out, he brought the other arm to the mattress near my head like he did the other. “Fucking shit,” he groaned. “You’re so goddamn tight.”
His chest was pressed against mine, adding more warmth to my body. My arms wrapped around him, the pressure in my core beginning to ease as my body adjusted. Slowly he started to thrust, his eyes fluttering with how good it felt.
He leaned down, feathering his lips against mine in a gentle kiss. He kept his movements slow and controlled, making it feel much more intimate than I would have expected. I whimpered against him, tasting myself on his breath. Even more so when he eased his tongue between my lips and slid it against my own. I clenched around him, my body trying to pull him back in every time he thrusted backwards. It felt so good. Too good.
Emotions welled up inside me, all our history rising to the surface, making this that much more meaningful. I wish things didn’t have to be like this. With us on opposite sides, constantly at each other’s throats, all because I made a mistake. I was a teenager. It wasn’t fair to hold that against me. But that was the reality we lived in.
A moan slipped past his lips as he broke away from the kiss, propping himself up more so that he had more range of motion. He hooked one of my legs over his hip and latched onto the underside of my thigh, using it to drive himself deeper into me. My breasts jiggled with every movement, and I wasn’t that surprised when he took notice of it.
“You’re so beautiful, Everleigh.” He grunted.
Another whimper escaped me from the pressure building within my core. He was hitting a spot that no one had managed to hit since…Ashton.
“Harder,” I begged. I wanted him to wreck me. To take out all his frustrations on me until all I could feel was him.
“Ah, that’s right.” He grinned. “You like it rough.”
I scoffed, not wanting to think about Ashton at all right now. “That’s not the only way I like it.” But he wasn’t paying attention. He was slamming into me as soon as the sentence exited my mouth. A loud moan ripped from my throat, causing my back to arch.
“Oh fuck,” he choked out before driving into me again just as brutally.
My hands latched onto the sheets, and I didn’t care if anyone could hear us, or if Ash had even come back. It would serve the evil bastard right.
The next time he slammed into me, it was with even more force, and it pulled a pleasure-filled scream from me. There was a dazed look in his eyes, his cheeks flushed and sweat trickling down the side of his face as he kept up his pace and brutality.
“You’re right,” he managed in between thrusts. “This feels so much better.”
I whimpered in response, unable to say much else. He was so deep that whenever he slammed into me, his hips were smashing against mine, shoving me further into the mattress. My hands latched onto his triceps, my fingernails biting into his flesh, which caused him to hiss out in pleasure. This had gone from something so sweet and innocent to something rough and carnal.
“Feels so good,” I forced out, arching my back as he rammed into me over and over again.
He grunted, leaning forward to grab one of my breasts. He kneaded it between his fingers, relishing in the way it jiggled within his grasp. “You’re clenching around me so tightly, baby.” I couldn’t help it. The sweet nickname had me coming undone. Electricity pulsed through me in waves, pushing into my core until I was shattering around him.
He gasped, eyes widening as my release drenched him and trickled down my ass. “Goddamn,” he hissed, pulling out of me abruptly.
I sat up in confusion, knowing for a fact he hadn’t gotten off yet. My chest was heaving and there was even a sheen of sweat coating my own skin despite being the one doing the least amount of work.
“I don’t want to cum yet,” he explained, trying to catch his breath.
After a few minutes, he pushed out a breath. “You want to ride me?”
I nodded eagerly, still horny despite climaxing moments before. I wasn’t sure I’d ever be able to get enough of this, and it only reminded me of how unsatisfied Lucas made me. He lowered himself to his back and I climbed on top of him, placing a leg on either side before lining him up with me. In moments, I was seating myself on him, the new position making him go even deeper than before.
A choked noise escaped him, his hands moving to grip my hips. Once my body had adjusted to him again, I started sliding up and down, bracing myself on his shoulders. His chest muscles constricted beneath my hands as I rotated my hips, his dick adding pressure to my clit now. I trembled against him, my eyes meeting his.
He was probably the most attractive guy I’d ever laid eyes on, not counting Ashton, Kash, or even Colt. They were all gorgeous, too. And I hated that about them. It made it harder to resist him in times like these.
“Lean down.” He breathed, tightening his hands on my hips.
Reluctantly, I lowered myself so that we were chest to chest, my arms winding around his neck. He thrusted up into me hard, forcing the breath from my lungs at the intensity. The scent of sex clouded the air, but for once, it didn’t repulse me. I was already getting sore from how long we’d been going, but it felt good. I missed having a little bit of pain with sex, something I never got these days.
I turned my head, capturing his lips with mine. His breathing was heavy and strained as he fucked me, but he kissed me back despite it. He didn’t slow his movements, even when his tongue entered my mouth again. The salty tang of his sweat coated my tongue, but that didn’t bother me either. He dropped his hands to my ass and spread them wide, opening me more so he could slide in even deeper. I moaned into the kiss, the wet sounds of him entering me and pulling out reverberating throughout the room.
His breath hitched as he slammed me down on him again, his muscles contracting beneath me. This time, it was his turn to moan into the kiss, the sound vibrating through me as he spilled into the condom.
“Fuck,” he grunted, breaking the kiss to catch his breath. His dick was twitching inside me before it started to grow soft. He brushed a strand of damp hair behind my ear and pecked me on the lips one last time.
I crawled off him, not caring that I was still soaked from his mouth, fingers, and my own release. I collapsed onto the mattress, attempting to calm my own breathing. Exhaustion weighed on me heavily, but I knew I couldn’t sleep here, even as much as I wanted to.
He reached over me a few moments later, depositing the used condom in the trash near the bed before he laid beside me, wrapping his arms around my waist so that we were spooning. He pulled the sheet over our waists and wound one arm around my breasts, making me feel more at peace than I’d felt in a long time. This felt nice. Too nice. I’d half expected him to kick me out, but even though we had our problems, he wasn’t that much of a dick.
His lips brushed against the back of my shoulder, and I settled against his chest, never wanting this moment to end.
“Can I tell you a secret?” I whispered, using the same words he’d used earlier.
He hummed in response. “Sure.” His voice was thick with exhaustion, too, and I knew he’d fall asleep soon.
“I used to love you, too.”
I’d fought those emotions hard when we were teenagers. It had felt so wrong to feel that way about him while I was dating his best friend.
“Was that why you never wanted to fuck me before?” he asked after a few moments.
I bit my lip nervously, not sure how much to tell him. Part of me wanted to live in this moment and be as vulnerable with him as he’d been with me. But the other part of me was scared he’d use it against me.
“Partially,” I admitted. “I felt like it would complicate everything.”
He kissed my spine this time, but didn’t stop there. He started trailing kisses all over my back, sending jolts of electricity through my body every time his lips made contact with skin that had seldomly ever been touched. It shouldn’t have felt so good. It wasn’t even sexual.
“Can I ask you something?” he asked.
“Sure.”
He snorted in response, his arms tightening around me, pulling my back flush against him. His dick was settled against my ass and despite being perfectly sated, I had to fight the urge to push back against him—to feel more of him.
“I won’t get mad,” he began. “Not right now, at least. I just need to know. Why did you do it?”
He didn’t need to specify. I knew what he was talking about. He wanted to know why I had sex with Dakota. My throat felt tight as I swallowed past the lump. That memory brought on so many unwanted feelings that I tried not to even think about it anymore, aside from asking myself that same question. Why? Dakota wasn’t a downright unattractive person, but I’d never looked at him as anything other than my boyfriend’s older brother. I couldn’t even remember thinking of having sex with him before it apparently happened. There were so many holes in my memory regarding that situation.
“Truthfully…” I trailed off, trying to think of where to even start. “I don’t remember it. One moment he was offering me a drink. It’s like I blinked, and then the next moment he was on top of me. I’d felt so disoriented and exhausted, so maybe I had more than the one drink, but I only remember taking the one.”
He tensed from behind me. “Could he have?—”
His words were cut short by the sound of shouting. Ashton’s voice ripped through our peaceful bubble, and I knew it was coming to an abrupt halt. “Where is she?” he growled from out in the hallway, slamming a door open—presumably to Kash’s room. Kash’s voice was muffled, so I couldn’t make out what he was saying, but it sounded like it was coming from the very next room over. Meaning that Kash had most likely heard everything. “Her car’s out front,” Ash continued.
“Shit.” I breathed.
Jameson laughed, not seeming to have a care in the world that we were about to be caught. He placed one last lingering kiss to my shoulder before his bedroom door flew open, slamming against the side of the wall. I was thankful as hell that Jamie was covering my breasts with his arm, hiding me from view.
Ashton took in the clothes that were strewn around the floor, his jaw ticking with anger as he directed his seething glare to the two of us. But he wasn’t alone. Kash was behind him with a pair of headphones wrapped around his neck. If he had those in, there was a chance he didn’t even know what was happening in here. My skin heated with embarrassment from all the sudden attention, and I half expected Ashton to jerk me out of bed and force me to walk back naked. It was something he’d probably do just to prove a point.
Ashton stepped through the door, rage vibrating from him. “You conniving, little slut,” he growled. I hated how much his words affected me, and I couldn’t even muster the energy to fight the flinch.
“Fuck off, Ash,” Jameson shot back. “Did you really expect her to stay there after catching you and Briley in the act? Especially in her dead mom’s bedroom of all places.”
Kash looked over at Ashton like this was news to him. “What?”
Ashton ignored him. “I didn’t expect her to run to you and for you to fall into her pussy. What the fuck were you thinking?”
Jameson propped himself up but made sure to keep his arm wound tight around my chest. “I was thinking that she looked hot in that skimpy little robe. So, I fucked her.”
It shouldn’t have hurt. He was talking about me like I was just another notch on his belt despite everything we’d talked about before. Heat built behind my eyes, and I was trying my best not to let them see how much that hurt. Kash’s gaze roamed over me, his jaw feathering with anger or something close to it. Was he mad that I had sex with Jamie? We did have our own moment, but I didn’t think it meant anything.
Ashton hummed, drawing my attention back to him. He pulled out his phone and tapped on it for a few seconds before angling it at us. My breath hitched as dread coursed through my veins. I started shifting against Jameson, trying to latch onto the blankets to hide beneath them. But Jameson tightened his hold on me painfully, reminding me even more that this had meant nothing to him. It was all a fucking game.
“Please, don’t,” I whispered.
But he wasn’t listening. He snapped a few photos before returning his phone to his pocket.
I was an idiot for coming here. For thinking that even for one second, Jameson was the boy I’d fallen for all those years ago. He wasn’t that person anymore. He was just as demented as Ashton was. Ash shot me a sinister smirk before retreating into the hall, Kash casting one last look at us before the door closed.
I scrambled out of the bed with my heart in my throat. How could I have been so na?ve? I snatched the gown from the floor, tugging it on over my head and started looking around for my damn robe.
“Everleigh,” Jameson started with hesitance in his tone, almost as if he actually felt bad. But screw that. I wasn’t falling for it again.
“Fuck you,” I snapped. I spotted my gown hanging off the edge of the bed and I latched onto it before tugging it around my body and securing it.
He sighed, dropping back against the mattress. His chest was toned and lean and it took everything in me not to glance over. There was a tattoo on his ribs, one I hadn’t paid much attention to before, and I wasn’t about to get caught looking now. I grabbed my shoes and tugged them on, my body vibrating with hurt and anger.
Once I was completely dressed, I finally looked at him again. “This is never happening again.” I didn’t wait for a response before stomping out of the room, my head spinning from the screwed-up day I had.
Every day was so fucked up lately. I couldn’t catch a damn break. Now, Ashton had evidence of me in bed with Jameson that he could use against me. And I had no doubt that he’d do it, too. Tears stung the back of my eyes, but I kept walking, even when that meant striding past Kash and Ashton. I kept my head held high, acting like none of this affected me, but on the inside, I was shattered.
They were all the same. And I wouldn’t let myself forget that. Not this time.