Chapter 2
CHAPTER TWO
THE HEATHEN
Eight Years Old…
Daddy got out of prison yesterday and brought his new friend to our house. I watch the man as he moves through the rooms, telling Daddy what rooms are best for worship and which ones will work for punishment.
John Steve spends a lot of time staring at me, and I don’t like it.
He has long white hair and a full beard, just like my dad now.
Mama said they met in jail, and he showed Daddy the way.
He did bad things, and that’s why the police took him away.
John Steve helped him get saved, and even baptised him. Mama says he saved Daddy’s soul.
“We’ve been living as sinners. Today that changes. Everything we do will be to earn favor with our Lord.”
I glance at my sister, Abigail, who stands across the room with my Aunt Sophie. My sister shrugs her shoulders, like she doesn’t know what’s going on either. My dad has been in prison since we were little. Even Abby doesn’t remember him much, and she’s three years older than me.
I look around the room and take in how different it was only two days ago.
There’s a big white cross on the wall on the other side of the room, with a large bag of rice sitting on the floor.
I heard John Steve say it was a prayer spot.
That doesn’t sound bad. Mama taught us to pray at a young age, and I don’t mind it.
There’s also a wooden thing Daddy called a podium, and a bunch of white chairs in front of it, like at my school.
“Our family needs to grow. John will be joining us. He and Abigail will marry, once she’s ready.”
I gasp loudly, and Mama grabs my wrist and squeezes hard in warning.
“She’s eleven, Mama,” I say in a hushed voice.
Gripping my arm tighter, she pulls me to the cross and narrows her gaze at me.
“It’s no surprise that you’re the first to be punished. You will learn to obey. Do you want to burn in Hell?”
The tears come quickly, and I swipe them away with my free hand.
“No, Mama. I want to go to Heaven.”
She lets go of my arm and pours rice on the floor, as I watch her in confusion. Why is she putting food on the floor?
“Kneel. Show God how sorry you are for misbehaving.”
I push my messy blonde hair out of my eyes, and continue looking at my mother with uncertainty.
“Kneel, Heather. On the rice.”
I do as I’m told, even though I don’t understand how this will show God how sorry I am.
It takes a short time for me to realize this is my punishment.
The hard grains of rice dig into my flesh, as I stare at the massive cross in front of me.
Is this really what God wants? To hurt me?
Embarrass me while my brothers and sisters look on?
I don’t like it, but if this is what I have to do to go to Heaven, I will.
August 2010 (Age ten)
The Servants of Christ
I look around the room filled with people—grownups and children.
Mama said this meeting is important, and that’s why the kids are included this time.
Daddy stands at the podium on the stage, running his fingers through his long white beard.
There are a lot of people sitting in the white chairs.
Some are my family, but others are strangers, Mama said joined our church.
My father raises his hands and speaks.
“God has spoken to me. I am your Prophet. This message is directly from God.”
I glance at Mama with shock.
“God talked to Daddy?”
I’m immediately amazed because I’ve always wished God would speak to me, and tell me what he wants. Even at ten years old, I live in constant fear of going to hell. Daddy says if we sin, we will burn in hell for eternity. We must please God if we want to go to Heaven.
“Wicked is the one who disobeys the Prophet. And he will be punished. The Prophet is the messenger of God. You must treat his words as if God himself spoke to you. These are your commandments.”
Daddy turns the page on the podium and continues.
“These are your new six commandments issued by God himself.”
He clears his throat and continues.
“The Prophet will take wives at God's choosing. Other men in good standing will take multiple wives with the approval of the Prophet.
Children will no longer receive education outside of God's word.
Every member will work, and donate the proceeds to the church, so that we may continue to grow. Beginning next week, you will meet with Bethany, so that you may be assigned.
God is love, and gave us these bodies so that we may love one another. Sex is not a sin, but a gift from God.
Once a female experiences her first menstruation, she is ready to marry. She may only be shared among the men with God's approval. Once married, a female will make herself available to her husband to express love.”
He grips the sides of the podium and stares at us with a scary look.
“You will follow every rule, or you will be sent to Camp Redemption. This is God’s will, and it shall be done.”
The room is silent as everyone takes in my father’s words. I didn't understand much of what he said, but one thing rings in my ears. ‘Once a female experiences her first menstruation, she is ready to marry.’
My sister Abigail started her period when she was twelve. That means I could start mine soon, but I’m too young to get married. Why would God order this?
My mother stares across the room at my father, a smile filled with adoration on her lips. He is huddled with three men; my Uncle Richard, and two strangers. They speak while glancing around the room, as if they want to be sure nobody hears them.
Mama takes my hand and says, “Are you excited? Soon you will be a woman and marry.”
The tears are instant, because I do want to get married, but not now, and not to a boy in the church.
Most of the boys here are my brothers and cousins.
Surely, they don't mean I'm supposed to marry one of them.
Right? This isn't okay. You don't marry your family. I’m so confused, and nothing makes sense to me.
February 2013 (Age twelve)
I started my period three days ago, and my mother has been monitoring my pad usage. It’s weird and embarrassing.
We gather for morning Bible Study, which has gotten stranger.
Daddy explains the scripture to us, but a lot of the time I don’t think it means what he says it does.
I used to question it but don’t anymore, because questioning the Prophet leads to kneeling on rice for hours at a time.
The last time I said Daddy was wrong about the meaning of God's word, I got hit with a wooden paddle on my back, after kneeling for sixteen hours.
The pain was intense, and I have permanent marks in the shape of rice on my skin.
My father stands, with all eyes on him, as we sit waiting for him to speak.
“I bring you good news today. God has chosen a new wife for me.”
He already has six wives, and now he’s taking another? It’s all so confusing to me, but I don’t dare question it. Instead, I wait for him to announce who she will be.
“Heather, stand up.”
Surely he must be talking to someone else. He can’t possibly intend to marry his own daughter, I think to myself, as my mother grips my arms and pulls me to my feet.
I stand staring at him, wide-eyed, as my heart sinks.
“Heather and I will be married this evening.”
All eyes turn to me, and I’m sure they are thinking the same thing I am.
You can’t marry your daughter. Dread fills me, as I think of everything Abigail had to do on her wedding night.
I don’t want to do it at all with anyone, but with my father?
I fight the vomit threatening to come up.
My mother is speaking to me, but I can’t hear a word.
The only thing I hear is ringing in my ears.
Daddy approaches me, and strokes his hand down my long blonde hair.
“It has been ordered by God. By following his word, you will please Him. This is your ticket to Heaven. Eternal salvation is yours, if you take it and obey the word of God. If you don’t submit to God's will, then you will suffer eternal damnation.”