Chapter 41
CHAPTER FORTY-ONE
THE HEATHEN
Knox carries me through the garage to the back part of the building where the guys live.
I hear him and Carter talking, but can’t make out their whispered words over my heavy breathing.
He doesn’t take me to Carter’s room, but to a different one down the hall.
He kicks the door open and walks to the king-sized black canopy bed, lying me down on the mattress.
Carter stands by the door, staring at the floor like he can’t look at me. He turns his back to us, and I panic.
“Carter!” I yell, my voice cracking, showing my panic.
He spins around and stares at me with confusion.
“Don’t go.”
I spot Knox whipping off his shirt in my peripheral vision, but keep my attention on his brother. Carter’s expression is pained as he lifts his head and focuses his gaze on mine. He runs a hand through his hair, obviously agitated.
“I’m not what you need tonight, Little Heathen. Knox can give you everything I can’t. I know you. You need to touch to feel safe. Let him take care of you.”
I shake my head as I sit up on the bed.
“I need both of you. Not only one of my men. Both. If I need to touch, I have Knox, but that doesn’t mean I don’t want you with me too.” I take a deep breath, hands fisting the sheets at my sides, before croaking out my plea. “Carter, I need you. Please don’t leave me.”
His expression turns from solemn to heated as his eyes stare into mine. No words are spoken, but I feel them to the depths of my soul. I place my hands under my ass, and he moves to me quickly, gripping my face in his palms.
“Good fucking girl, Little Heathen.”
He moves his hands up the side of my face, and grips onto the strands of my hair, pulling my head back.
“Tell us what you need. And it's yours.”
I try to be strong, but Carter makes me weak. He is my safe space, and it feels like I can show him every vulnerable part of me. Tears fall down my cheeks as I whisper, “I need him dead. The Prophet needs to die. That’s all I need.”
Carter leans down and kisses my forehead before stepping back from me.
“He was at the house tonight. Let us take him out,” Knox says from beside me.
I shake my head frantically, because I know he wasn’t there. It’s a trap.
“I-It was a recording. I’ve heard it before. I’ve been in there looking for him, but he’s in hiding. The men are protecting him. I-I’ll never find him.”
Carter and Knox share one of their telepathic glances. They nod at each other, as if they’ve had a silent conversation.
Knox says, “We will find him, Tesoro, but we won’t kill him unless you ask us to. We won’t rob you of the right to exact revenge.”
I pull my hands out from underneath me, since Carter isn’t close to me and ask, “How will we find him? I’ve looked everywhere.”
Knox sits on the bed beside me, and gently runs his hand through my hair, while speaking softly.
“I don’t know, Tesoro, but we will find him. Tell us about this recording device.”
Turning my head toward him, I explain, “He records prayers that we have to listen to while working outside. The Prophet takes words from the Bible, and alters them for his own benefit,” I say through a deep sigh, leaning my head on Knox’s chest. “I knew when I heard it, he wasn’t there, but it felt like he was.
His voice hurts. It’s like a knife slicing into my soul.
” Knox’s grip on my hair tightens, as he drops a kiss to the top of my head.
“The sound of his words, imagining the stone cold hatred in his eyes, makes me want to hurt myself. I can’t explain it. It’s a visceral need.”
Knox growls, “Tesoro.”
I release a long sigh.
“I know.”
He lifts my chin with his thumb and forefinger, and presses a soft kiss to my jaw.
“I told you, if you need pain I’ll give it to you, but I will not tolerate you hurting yourself. You will be punished.”
I gasp as I stare at him curiously.
“How?” I ask, causing him to chuckle lightly.
He tilts my head back as he moves closer to me, his dark eyes locked on my blue ones, causing shivers to roll down my spine.
“It won’t be spanking, because you’d enjoy that too much. Punishment is not meant to be pleasurable. It’s intended to teach you a lesson, to correct your behavior. I think for you, orgasm denial is the way to go. Maybe not allowing you to touch me for a period of time.”
He’s quiet for a few minutes as more tears fall from my eyes, before he continues to speak.
“Tesoro, I cannot allow you to hurt yourself. Self-harm to suicide is a slippery fucking slope. Pain is a fine coping mechanism in my opinion, but only when it’s practiced in a safe, controlled setting. I’ll give that to you. All you need to do is ask.”
I nod in understanding as he removes his hand from my chin.
“I won’t hurt myself anymore.”
Knox’s lips pull up into a sexy smirk.
“Good girl. You’ll learn there are punishments for bad behavior, but also rewards when you exhibit good behavior. Right now you deserve a reward. What do you want?”
I won’t dare ask for what I want most, to touch Carter. My desires can’t come at his expense.
“Do you ever date? I think that’s what I want.”
Carter's expression registers surprise as he asks, “Have you ever been on a date?”
I pull my bottom lip between my teeth, and shake my head no. I’m excited by the thought of going on a date like a real person, but know this might not be what they want from our weird arrangement.
“If you don’t want to, it’s fine,” I say to Knox, as he stares at me with an arched brow.
He breathes out an irritated sigh.
“Don’t do that, Tesoro. Don’t tell us what you want, then say it’s ‘okay’ to not get it. Speak what you want and never accept anything less. Stand up for what you deserve. Fucking demand it. You are a fucking queen, and what you want is the rule.”
I look at Carter, and ask the question I think I already know the answer to.
“Have you ever-”
“No,” he interrupts me. “I’ve never wanted to, Little Heathen, but I do now. If you want to go on a date, I want it to.”
Killian comes storming into the room, with anger rolling off him, and I assume it’s about me as per usual.
“Matteo has been delivered. He’s in the garage. Let’s go. Your pet can wait.”
Without another word, he leaves the room as abruptly as he entered, leaving me wondering who the hell Matteo is, and what’s going on.