24. Hollis
I t’s strange being in Cristian’s office without him, mainly because no one is allowed in the room, save for Tennant and Doc, without his express permission. Even stranger when it’s, for the moment, considered Roman’s office.
The door shutting behind Tennant doesn’t make a sound, but all the same, the closed confinement makes my skin itch. I don’t regret what I did with Emilio, but that doesn’t stop me from feeling trapped.
Roman and Jude lean against the front of the desk, their shoulders touching as they look at me when I take a seat across from them. Tennant taking the seat next to me makes the unsettled feeling worse.
“If you’re expecting an apology,” I tell them, “you’ll be waiting a long time.”
Jude scoffs. “Of course we don’t, but I think an explanation is warranted.”
Roman must see me bristle from Jude’s tone because he quickly says, “He doesn’t know how the Martellis work.”
“Allesandro Martelli keeps his inner circle—his Boys—in line using sex,” I explain. “They rely on one another, and are as close as brothers. A true family, much like we are. Their lives just revolve around more pleasure and pain than ours does. Emilio needed something specific that he can’t get from his Boys. They can fuck him, sure, but his need to be put in his place by his Master isn’t something as easily obtained.”
“And you so graciously jumped to help him?” I don’t blame the derision in Jude’s voice. I’d be pissed if it was any of them.
“No, I put a little shit in his place. There’s only so much even I can take before I break. If you thought I’d let someone get away with that level of disrespect, you haven’t been paying attention, Bello. It’s not so different from me putting any of you in your place. Emilio isn’t mine, but he needs something I can give him. It’d be remiss of me to let our allies down.”
Tennant snorts and I glance at him to see he’s fighting a smirk. “It’s okay to admit you wanted to fuck him, Tesoro.”
I shake my head. “I didn’t, not really. He gets under my skin, and I want to put him on his knees. I didn’t plan on fucking him. But when you have someone who bleeds so beautifully… I figured there was no point in resisting.”
“So this is going to be a regular thing?” Roman asks.
“Does that bother you?”
“Would it matter if it did?” Jude challenges, lifting his chin defiantly as his pale green eyes go hard.
“Of course it would. We have enough going on, the last thing any of us needs to deal with is jealousy or hurt feelings. I won’t apologize for what I did because I’m not sorry, but if asked, I won’t touch him again. We need the Martellis to be strong, and sane enough to help stand against whatever’s coming for our Families, but not at the risk of our own sanity.”
“Who needs sanity?” Roman tries to grin, but under the weight of all the seriousness we’re dealing with, it falls flat.
“Definitely not me,” Tennant replies. “You didn’t do anything wrong, Tesoro. You saw someone in need and gave it to them. Is it something any of us would have done? No, but that is only because we live by your rules.”
He says it so simply, and a fissure of anxiety rushes through me. I’ve never hidden my possessive need of them. Even if my accepting both Roman and Jude seemed easy, it wasn’t.
My past meant latching onto Tennant was the only thing I could do, once I finally decided to let him in. Roman and Jude became extensions of that, and as proven before, I’d kill to keep that intact. There’s a reason I was the first one to make a move with Jude, why our relationship was the cornerstone to ending up where we are today.
What I’ve done with Emilio should have been exactly that, except unlike with Jude, there was no discussion about it beforehand. No one had a chance to say they were uncomfortable with it. Not that I need the words from Ten; he’s always been easy for me to read, and his opinions on monogamy and closed relationships are well-known and acknowledged.
It’s Roman and Jude I’m unsure about. Their protests can’t change what happened, but they’ll be taken into consideration when it comes to the next steps.
“Emilio needed what he got, maybe not the way he got it, but he’s been pushing since we first learned about Il Padrone being kidnapped. I, for one, don’t want to have to clean up whatever mess would be left behind if an already unstable Boy went off the rails.”
“Oh, so you fucked him because you’re so altruistic?” Roman says.
I snort. “I fucked him because I wanted to. I made him bleed because he asked for it. Any objections?”
Roman shakes his head. “No, but does this mean the Martellis are fair game?”
I roll my eyes. “Yes, you can ask your friend to use you if you want, Giocattolo. Sei un ragazzo sporco.”
He snorts. “I mean, if I have your blessing, I wouldn’t mind having some fun with Lio. But that’s not why I was asking.” He nods his chin towards Tennant. “Ten’s been handed his perfect catnip, and I think he should be allowed to play.”
My immediate reaction is no. Hell no . But…that’s unfair. The double standard has always, always been that Tennant is mine.
He is the first person I ever trusted with my body and heart after everything that happened when I was a teenager. He never asked for my story, never cared about why I was so obsessive and possessive. Tennant, for all his faults, has only ever shown me how much he cares, in his own way. And has gone out of his way to make me his top priority, after Cristian.
Roman is right, Benjamin is Tennant’s perfect type, and he’s handed himself over on a silver platter. Denying Ten would be unfair, not that he’d ever see it that way.
“It’s true,” Jude says. “I saw how Benjamin and Ten responded to one another. It was like watching the two of you,” he gestures between me and Tennant, “and your weird foreplay dance.”
I snort at that. “Is that right? You want to taste Benjamin, Love?”
Tennant shrugs. “He’s attractive enough, and the fire in him calls to me, but I don’t need it.”
“No.” Reaching for him, I grab the back of his neck and pull him in for a harsh kiss, his teeth tugging on my lip until it bleeds. Pulling back, I stare into ice blue eyes that never look at me with anything but trust and endless patience. “I want you to. Give him a taste of what he can have when he behaves. Mostragli il mostro sotto al gentiluomo.”
Tennant huffs. “Shall I film it, Tesoro? Do you want me to take him apart?”
My breath catches and the thought excites me, the previous anxiousness dissipating as a need to watch Tennant take the boy in hand rises. “Yes,” I answer simply.
Tennant grins, soft and indulgent. “Thank you for such a gift, Hol. I won’t disappoint.”
“Are we all good then?” Roman asks. “We’re all on the same page about Hollis doing whatever he needs to do in order to keep Lio under control?”
Tennant nods as he pulls back from me. “Yes. Someone needs to keep the little shit in line, and Hol is the best one to do it outside of his Master.”
Jude doesn’t speak for a long moment. When I look at him, it’s not hesitation I see in his gaze, but there is something there. He eventually nods, at the same time he nods his fist in a yes. “I don’t pretend to understand what Lio or any of the Martellis need,” he says slowly. “But I’m aware of how this Family works, and how important it is that we cultivate the friendships and alliances we have—especially in such a dire time. So if this is what he needs, who am I to stop you?”
“Good,” Tennant says. “Because we have other things that need our focus, like what Roman theorized earlier.”
“Yes,” I reply. “We can reevaluate and discuss it, but Ten is right; we have other things to worry about. Which is the whole reason Emilio and Keegan were here. Seems Keegan isn’t just a pretty face, as he also parsed out what Roman did. His knowledge of how law enforcement works will be helpful. He didn’t suggest which branch of the law might be the ones after us, but considering they’re using the locals to terrorize both our Families, I’d go out on a limb and suggest someone with federal authority. Only because they’d have the advantage of a bigger reach. However, that’s a theory you’ll want to run by him.”
Roman nods. “I’ll set up a meeting with him to see what other information he has, and what his thoughts are. I’m both glad that my theory proved to give us a way forward, and disturbed by it.”
“That’s the vibe I was getting from the Martellis too, before things took a turn.”
Jude snorts. “Is that what we’re calling it now?”
I cast a look at him, but don’t say anything. Instead, Tennant moves things along. “We should get back to work then, if there are no other pressing matters. Joel rounded up two cops for me to interrogate, so that will be tomorrow’s lesson. Today’s didn’t go exactly to plan, but with two of them, we can spread out the fun.”
“Sinclair called with an update while I was on the way back here,” Roman says. “He got Ricci off, but the dealers took the fall for the Family. Rose and Doc will be happy that her father isn’t going to prison, but that doesn’t fix our issue. Our distribution structure has been thrown out, and we’re scrambling to make sure our people get what they need. Our sales of the weapons are also in disarray. The Russians understand and will hold off this shipment, but the gang isn’t so willing to give us grace. I’ll need you to go smooth over some feathers with them during the handover, Ten.”
“I can do that. Don’t worry, Little Prince, it’ll be okay.”
Roman doesn’t look convinced, but nods anyway. “Thank you.”
“I’ll go check up on Leandro, see how far he’s gotten without me.”
“I need to check in with the house guards and Carter,” Tennant says. “Then make sure our guest is settling in okay. I have no more use for you today, Agnellino, but be prepared for tomorrow.”
Jude gives him a bland smile. “Of course.”
With that, the meeting is adjourned, and we leave Roman in the office to work on setting the next meeting between the two Families.
Tennant goes off to find the Head of the House Guards, but when Jude tries to leave, I stop him, grabbing at his sleeve. “Come with me.”
He follows me to my office, where Leandro is diligently working. “Out,” I order.
Leandro turns his head to look at us, narrowing his eyes. “I’m doing the work of three people because the Martellis are too paranoid to call in H, and you want me to fuck off so you can get off? Fuck you.”
“I won’t ask again, Leandro. This will only take a few minutes. Go, take Boston out, get some food, anything that will get you out of here for ten minutes.”
He purses his lips and shakes his head, turning back to his computer for a few minutes before pushing away from the desk.
Grabbing Jude’s sleeve again, I lead him further into the office, around Leandro’s desk so the boy can wheel himself out.
“No sex,” he says as he snaps his fingers and commands Boston to follow. “I’m the one who has to deal with the smell, so keep your hands to yourselves.”
“Funny,” I drawl. “I didn’t realize you were in charge.”
He makes a noise of disgust before leaving the room, dog in tow.
“What’s this about?” Jude asks, leaning against my desk.
Getting into his personal space, I answer, “You tell me. Are you really okay with me and Emilio? Or Emilio and Roman? Benjamin and Tennant?”
He scowls. “I gave my answer, did I not? I didn’t protest. I don’t understand the whole training by sex thing that the Martellis have going on, but I do understand your need to control everything and everyone around you.”
There’s a bite to his tone, and it makes me grin. “Are you feeling possessive, Bello? Do you dislike the idea of anyone putting their hands on me?”
He glares, but I can see past the unaffected look he’s trying for. He’s not nearly as good as Tennant at hiding his emotions, though he tries to be. With a frustrated growl, he pushes me away, just enough for signing space. “Like it? No, but I understand you wouldn’t touch him if you didn’t need or want to. This is about more than just putting him in his place. It’s about you needing to control someone, and you can’t play your usual games with Tennant right now, so a substitute has been found in the Martelli boy.”
He’s right. The world is so topsy-turvy that my usual avenues of destressing are closed off at the moment. Neither Ten nor I can leave Roman for long, so the way we usually play is out of the question. That Jude picked up on it so easily says how much he truly does care, in his own way—even when he pretends not to.
“You’re right,” I reply. My signs are careful as I try to figure out how to word what I need to say. “I need it as much as he does, but I don’t want him, Agnellino. He’s a puppy; cute with sharp teeth, but aside from that, he does nothing for me. You, Jude, with your barely-controlled sociopathy and your resistance to submit—even though we both know you want it—are what I want. Along with Tennant and Roman. The three of you are my life, Agnellino.” In a whisper, I say, “Sei il mio tutto.”
Switching back to ASL, I make sure my signs are clear, and that I show the truth of my words in my expression. “Never doubt my devotion to you, to what we’ve been building since you first showed up on our doorstep. Your curiosity and need to be loved drove you into our arms, and like hell are we going to give that up. Emilio and all the Martellis are fun, but they are not where my loyalties lie, outside of our common goal and the friendships we are building with them. Understood?”
Jude finally nods and replies, “Yes. I understand. You don’t need to get all sappy, Tesoro Mio.” The homesigns for Jude’s endearments mean more than the LIS translations of them, because they come from him and his need to express his devotion for us in both his language and ours .
Threading my fingers through his curls, I pull his mouth to mine, kissing him thoroughly, making him moan as his hips thrust against mine. It’d be so easy to put him on his knees right now, to show him where he belongs in this hierarchy of ours, but that’s not what either of us needs. No, this connection, the intimacy of the kiss, the way he surrenders to me, even though we both know that’s not his natural desire… It’s more important for us to stand on even ground, even as he lets me fuck his mouth with my tongue. I sink my teeth into his lips, lapping at the blood drawn, sharing the taste of him.
It’s different, sweeter than the blood I licked off Emilio. It means more—means everything .
Only when Leandro returns and lets out a derisive groan, saying, “No fucking in the office!”, do I pull away from my lover.
Jude looks at me with darkened pale green eyes, and a soft, self-satisfied smile that has me wanting to kiss him all over again.
“Okay?” I sign.
“Yeah,” he says. “Better, I think. Do whatever you want with the Martellis, Roman and Ten, too. I want to watch the three of you have fun… It might be educational.”
I grin. “I didn’t know you were such a voyeur, Bello.”
He huffs. “I liked watching you with Emilio. He’s very different from Roman in his responses.”
I hum in acknowledgement. Roman just wants to be used. The little shit will do anything and everything to get the desired result. Emilio’s submission…on the surface it looks the same, but in reality, he needs it to help keep his sanity. Both of them are cocksluts in their own right, which would make watching the two of them together very entertaining. That is, if Emilio is willing to top our Toy, because Roman sure won’t take up that mantle, even if it meant he got to have fun with his friend.
“I almost feel bad for Benjamin,” I tell him. “I don’t think he’s fully thought out what having Tennant will mean.”
Jude shrugs. “I think you underestimate him…but that’s definitely going to be a fun show.”
That is…very much one way to put it. Planting one last kiss on Jude’s irresistible mouth, I finally pull away. “Go, maybe stop in to see your training partner? I have work to do.”
“I should do that, yes. I don’t think any of the Martellis know what to make of me.”
I laugh at that. “Probably not, you’re an enigma, Agnellino. It’s what makes you so much fun to play with.”
He smiles and shakes his head. “Uh-huh. I’ll see you when Tennant comes to drag you out of here.”
When he leaves, to hopefully actually spend some time with our Martelli guest, I turn to my work, feeling lighter than I have since this whole mess started. If only the feeling would last.