Chapter 34
Rule thirty-four: Fight dirty.
“ M agic is tied to emotion,” Sin lectures, circling me in the arena. His hands are clasped behind his back, but I don’t let my guard down. Not in here. “You said you manifested your magic when you were very, very, angry. So, we’re going to need you to get angry until you can familiarize yourself with calling it forward.”
Sin has been instructing (lecturing) me on the particulars of wielding strong powers for the last ten minutes. He’s not even remotely concerned that I might hurt him, given he can nullify whatever I end up manifesting. It’s doing nothing good for my bad bitch image. Although I have the sneaking suspicion that the possibility of me blowing up the realm may have something to do with why we’ve been left alone at the castle .
The second the others left, it was like an electric current settled in the air. Things have shifted since Sin admitted that he was done trying to fight whatever is between us. I can feel his eyes on me, even when he’s at my back. I can’t tell whether it’s from anticipation or anxiety. The tension is there, setting my nerve endings alight.
Desire and fear. My body has never been more conflicted.
Not that Sin has said anything remotely inappropriate since I told him we should keep things professional. But there’s a hunger in the way he looks at me now, one that he isn’t bothering to mask. It sets my blood on fire, reminding me, yet again, that I am beyond screwed.
Focus, Vivian.
“And how am I supposed to just get furious?” I ask, arching a brow at him. Despite the small outbursts I’ve been having in this realm, I’m really not an angry person.
He stops circling, finally facing me. My breath catches in my throat, and I try not to appreciate how deadly he looks when fully decked out in his fighting leathers. I’m just going to go ahead and blame my book addiction for my attraction to men who look like they could kill me in less than a heartbeat.
I have no regrets.
“Promise that you’ll forgive me.”
He isn’t asking, he’s demanding. And he’s doing it with enough ferocity that I just know he’s about to cross a line. Still, I recognize his words for what they are, apprehension .
Sin is hesitating.
My heart starts thundering in my chest as I realize why. He’s going to make sure I can get angry. He’s going to go inside my head.
A cold chill runs up my spine at the thought of someone manipulating my emotions again. Sin watches me apprehensively, not moving toward me, and his hesitation is everything. Just like every time he’s touched me, Sin is waiting for me to tell him no, to give him an indication that I don’t want this.
I have a choice. He always gives me a choice in his own twisted way.
“I promise,” I quietly reply.
Sin’s eyes shut, and he takes a deep, shuddering breath. When they open again, his tattoos start to glow a familiar red as he brings his Destroyer powers to the surface.
“I won’t hurt you,” he promises back, reaching for me slowly, giving me all the time in the world to move away.
“I trust you.” I hold his gaze and don’t flinch when his hand cups my cheek.
“If you go back to hating me after this, I’m going to be very upset with you.” The growl in his tone causes heat to surge through me, and I fight the urge to press my thighs together.
If there was ever a time when I needed to focus on not having lust-filled thoughts, it’s probably now.
It takes a few moments until I feel it. If I wasn’t paying attention, I don’t think I would notice the feeling of Sin in my head. It’s as if something is sliding between my thoughts, squirming through emotions as he searches for the one he’s looking for. There’s no pain, but once I’ve zeroed in on the intrusion, it doesn’t particularly feel good either.
I offer him a small smile. “If you’re looking for anger in there, you’ll be looking for a while.”
Sin’s answering laugh is devoid of all amusement. “Kitten, please believe me when I tell you – you don’t just have anger. You’re drowning in it.”
My brow furrows. “That’s not –”
But my response is cut off by a bolt of white-hot fury as Sin finds whatever he is looking for. The anger is accompanied by a memory that is shoved to the forefront of my mind.
Leon is demanding I release him and telling me my realm is insignificant. He’s trying to force me, to manipulate me. Only this time, there’s no fog clouding my mind. The rage that surges forward grows unchecked, like a flame lit too close to kerosine. I don’t stop after I blast him across the room. I want to make sure he can never hurt my realm. There’s not an ounce of hesitation when I grab my blade, intent on killing him where he lies. Never again…
But just as abruptly as the anger appeared, it’s doused back down, leaving me gasping for breath.
“Fuck, you’re okay, kitten. I’m sorry. I’m so fucking sorry,” Sin says, stepping away from me to give me more space. “I promise I only looked for your angriest memory. I didn’t touch anything else.” There’s a desperation to his tone as if he’s waiting for me to hate him. My heart melts a little, and I mentally kick myself hard.
“I’m okay. It’s okay,” I answer, clearing my throat as I rub my chest. “But I don’t think whatever you did worked.”
My comment pulls Sin out of whatever worry he’s feeling, and he tilts his head, eying me curiously. “I just made you relive your anger when you blasted Leon, and I upped it considerably.”
“And I didn’t manifest any of the magic.” I frown. “Well, shit. I really thought the power was triggered by anger. I was livid when it showed up.”
Sin crosses his arms, watching me. “Tell me again what you felt when you manifested the power.”
I bite my bottom lip, trying to remember the details as clearly as possible. “I was angry because Leon wanted to hurt my realm, and I needed to stop him.”
“So, you weren’t just angry, you needed something.”
“Well, yes, I suppose. I needed to find a way to be strong, to not give in,” I admit.
Sin rolls his shoulders and moves to the arena’s edge, pulling off his sword and daggers.
“Would you mind sharing with the class?” I ask.
Sin’s gaze rakes over me as he strides back. “We have a new emotion to explore. Desire.”
“Oh no. Oh, no, no, no.” I take a step back. “There is no way you are going to use the sexual attraction between us to manifest my power. Hard limit.”
I can’t think of anything worse for my paper-thin resolve to keep things professional with him .
He smirks. “Kitten, if you desire me, all you have to do is say so, and I will gladly abandon training to worship you.”
My knees go weak, but I stay silent, not trusting myself to say the logical thing.
“Hmm, I didn’t think you were quite there yet,” Sin notes, his tongue moving over his teeth. “But to make this work, you need to want something that isn’t easily attained.” He crosses his arms, looking like he has all the patience in the world.
“And what might that be?” I ask, curious.
“Information,” Sin answers, anticipation lacing his tone. “I have information you want. We’re going to train. If you pin me, you can ask a question, any question, and I’ll answer.”
My eyes narrow. “And if you pin me?”
His smirk is replaced by the relentless determination I saw in him earlier. “Fair is fair, kitten.”
Why do I already know this isn’t going to go well for me? Still, he’s offering something I want badly. I’m suspicious about what he was doing in my realm this morning, especially after what we talked about in his bed last night.
“Done,” I answer.
A second later, I learn something of critical importance.
Sin has been holding back.
He moves with nearly inhuman speed, and I barely have a chance to gasp before he has my back pressed into the sand. By the time I’ve registered what’s just happened, Sin’s hips are pressed against my thighs, and I’m locked beneath him .
This – this is going to be more difficult than I anticipated. Whether I’m talking about keeping things platonic between us or taking him down, I’m not sure.
Probably both.
“What’s your favorite book?” he asks, shocking me out of my thoughts.
“What?” I’m sure I just misunderstood.
“Your favorite book. Tell me,” he commands.
My mouth opens and then closes again. Why the hell would Sin care what books I like?
“I’m not moving until you answer,” he adds, amused.
Still confused, I answer, “The one you borrowed.”
The answering heat in his gaze goes straight to my lower belly, but he climbs off me without pressing further.
Over the next ten minutes, Sin pins me four more times, always asking seemingly mundane questions. Why did I choose to study history and English? Other than reading, what are my favorite hobbies? What’s my favorite color? Where is my favorite place to visit? Every time, he makes no further move towards me other than pinning me down.
Sweat already coats my body, and I’m getting more frustrated by the second. Sin pulls me from the sand yet again, and I glower at him. “How am I supposed to desire something when you keep tossing me into the sand and distracting me with your weird questions?”
He laughs at my outburst. “You don’t want answers badly enough if you keep losing. If you really want them, use your powers. ”
My eyes flare, and Sin turns serious once again. “But if you don’t like my questions, I’m happy to adjust.”
The way he says it has me realizing I should have just kept my mouth shut. I put more distance between us, hoping it will give me more time to see him coming. It does exactly nothing in my favor when he apparates behind me, snaking an arm around my waist and pulling me down underneath him again.
“Still slow, kitten. We need to work on that,” he notes, smirking.
I huff, “Apparating was cheating.”
His eyes darken. “Our enemies have powers you can’t even imagine. If you can’t deal with simple magic, you’re dead.” He frowns before asking, “What are you afraid of?”
“Other than small spaces and –”
“That’s not what I’m referring to. You’ve been running since I told you I’m fighting for whatever is happening between us. I can see it, and I want to know why,” Sin says, the steely determination back in his tone.
There’s no escaping his penetrating stare when I’m pinned underneath him. Sin is trying to peer into my soul again, and I try to buck him off me. Anything to avoid this conversation.
As usual, it’s like trying to move a force of nature, and I don’t think he’s shifted even a millimeter. Sin arches a brow, still awaiting my answer.
When in doubt, deflect. Because I refuse to let Sin in any more than I already have. I’m already in too deep .
“You’re fighting to fuck me, Sin. Maybe I’m making you chase,” I bite back.
He lowers so he can whisper against my ear, “You and I both know you can’t lie worth shit.” His warm breath fans over my neck and goosebumps erupt down my flesh. Sin lifts his head, his gaze flicking between my eyes and mouth. “I can’t properly annihilate whatever is holding you back if you don’t tell me what it is.”
His words are like a caress against my skin, and I’m suddenly hyperaware of every breath he takes.
It’s just attraction. It’s just attraction. It’s just attraction.
I keep repeating the words in my head, but the mantra isn’t going to make Sin believe me any more than I believe myself. There’s something between us. But admitting that to Sin will only make things worse.
My gaze drifts to his mouth, and he zeroes in on the action. There’s a raw desire in his expression, and I shift underneath him, pulling his face to mine. Sin freezes but doesn’t stop me. I think he’s stopped breathing.
My fingers thread into his hair, and when our lips are millimeters apart, I let him feel the edge of my blade against his throat. Sin’s eyes flare, realizing what I’ve done.
“Sit up,” I command in a whisper.
Sin only looks more ravenous as he eases off me, and I move with him, straddling his hips so that my blade never leaves his throat. My core settles against him, and more heat unfurls inside of me when I feel his hard length pressing into me .
“Do you want me to put you on your back? Or is this enough to earn my question?” I challenge.
If Sin is using magic to pin me down, then I’m not hesitating to use anything at my disposal.
Sin doesn’t answer and instead grips my ass, grinding me against him. It takes every ounce of my willpower not to arch into him, and instead, I press my blade more firmly against his flesh. “I want my answer, Sin.”
His eyes are the color of violent storms as his gaze burns into mine. “Ask me a question, slit my throat. I don’t care, so long as you stay right the fuck where you are.” The words come out strangled as he lifts my hips to grind me against him again.
I bite the inside of my cheek to stop from whimpering at the feel of him thrusting against my clit. This backfired on me in the most delicious way possible. Sin starts kissing a path down my neck, and I shudder before tugging on his hair to pull him back.
“What were you doing in the Mortal Realm this morning?” My question comes out breathless.
“I was wondering when you’d get to that,” Sin smirks before leaning into my knife to nip at my collarbone. The blade bites into his skin, and I drop it immediately, but there’s already a small line of blood blossoming against his throat.
“Shit. Sin I –”
“You said you wanted to mark me, kitten. I’m facilitating.”
My eyes flare, far too aroused by the thought that he’s wearing my mark. But before I can mentally unpack that new kink, he flips us so he’s on top of me, pressing between my thighs.
The move took less than a breath and went directly to my core. My carefully color-coded list as to why I shouldn’t be intimate with Sin might as well be in the shredder.
“You were almost murdered. Your classmates fucking stoned you,” Sin growls as he expertly undoes the fastenings of my weapons sheaths. “They hurt you, and you never said a fucking word. You didn’t fight back.” He says the last part like an accusation.
“It wasn’t worth…” I start, but Sin cuts me off, his expression growing murderous as he strips off the last of my weapons, moving on to my leathers.
“You’re fucking worth it. I know you don’t believe it, and until you do, I will gladly slay every one of your enemies.” My armor falls to the ground, and Sin lifts my shirt, kissing a trail up my stomach.
My lower belly tightens, but I freeze at his words. “You – you killed them?”
Sin drops my shirt, and my question elicits another growl, “They deserved worse than death for hurting you. I would love nothing more than to wipe them from existence, but you asked me not to.”
My hand presses against his chest before he can continue to strip me. He could easily overpower me, but he stills.
“What did you do, Sin?” My heart clenches, and guilt starts to press in at the thought that I may have just gotten more people hurt.
Sin shifts, taking my hand and kissing my palm. “Emily woke up this morning and confessed to everything. She turned herself in, as did every other student that was there that day. Your mother is being investigated for child neglect. I didn’t hurt them, kitten. But I made sure they would face the consequences of their actions.”
I pull my hand back, trying to process too much at once. Em and the others are going to go to jail. They’ll be the ones to rot in a small room now. My mother will be unveiled for what she truly is to everyone around her. They’ll finally know what a monster she is.
All because of Sin.
“But why? Why would you do that for me?” My heart thunders in my chest.
His gaze darkens as he starts peeling off my pants. I lift my hips, helping him, beyond capable of fighting whatever has been building between us. I want him. Even though it’s not the smart thing to do, even though I have a multitude of reasons to stop this, if Sin doesn’t touch me soon, I’m going to combust.
His fingers twist in the fabric of my underwear, and with my next ragged breath, they’re gone. He lowers his head, pulling my thighs off the ground so he can watch me as his mouth ghosts across my clit. “You really need to ask that, kitten?”
My fingers dig into the sand, and I moan as arousal floods my body. “Please,” I gasp when he kisses my inner thigh.
“Because, even though you’re still running, I already know.” He pauses to kiss higher, drawing closer to where I need him.
I whimper, rapidly becoming annoyed that we’re still talking when there’s something I’d much rather he be doing with his mouth. “What do you know?” I snap out, trying to roll my hips up.
Sin smirks, but his grip doesn’t lessen. His eyes lock on mine, challenging and determined. “You’re mine, kitten.”
With those words, his mouth descends onto my pussy, his tongue stroking over my clit and robbing me of every logical thought. He devours me like a man starved, and a burning need courses through me as he hauls my hips up further so that my thighs rest on his shoulders.
“You taste so fucking good.” His tone is low, making the coil of pleasure in my core tighten even further.
“Please, Sin,” I beg, and he sucks on my sensitive bundle of nerves.
“What do you need?” he asks against my slit.
“You. Fuck me, please.” I beg, and Sin’s eyes flare wide, his grip on me tightening.
“Fuck, kitten,” he groans, and I arch up to feel more of him. He responds by burying his face into my pussy, his tongue sweeping inside of me. My orgasm doesn’t flow through me; it crashes into me, and I scream Sin’s name with every wave. Still, he doesn’t relent, sucking and licking me until I’m shivering beneath him. When he finally comes up for air, his pupils are blown, and he looks like his control is hanging on by a thread.
I’ve never wanted to snap a thread so badly in my life.
Untangling from Sin, I reach up to start stripping him. But he pins my hands over my head, stopping me. “ Kitten,” he warns, and the hunger in his voice has me arching into him.
“I want you,” I demand.
Sin takes a shuddering breath but doesn’t release me. “I want you coming on my cock more than I want my next breath. But if I fuck you, there’s no coming back. You’ll belong to me in every fucking sense of the word. So, unless you’re sure that’s what you want, then we need to stop.”