Chapter 7 Cade
CADE
“Do you know what would be fun?” I ask. Ansel’s been ignoring me since he woke up. I’ve given him space, but now I need his attention back on me. I’m starving for it.
Wylder would tell me this level of obsession is unhealthy. But he’s not here, so I don’t give a fuck. Even if he were here, I probably wouldn’t listen.
As soon as Ansel saw that he was cuddled up against me during his nap, he rolled off the bed and stood in the kitchen, facing the wall.
He didn’t turn around for a full twenty minutes.
He reminded me of a cat I had long ago. I moved his cat tree to a different place.
He crawled up into it, tucked his face into the carpet, and didn’t look at me for a full day.
I was worried, but it turned out that he was just pissed.
I’m sure Ansel is the same. I just need to be patient.
I usually have a hard time with that, despite my father trying to beat it out of me, but for him, for my butterfly, I can do it.
After twenty minutes of silence though, I’m going out of my mind. He waits another ten before answering me.
“I’m sure you’ll tell me even if I don’t wanna hear it,” he says, turning around finally. “What is it?”
It’s been so long since I asked the question that it takes me a second to remember. “We could take this blanket outside and watch the stars.”
That makes Ansel’s mouth open, and a laugh escapes him. It’s the most beautiful sound, if I do say so myself. His rejection of my romantic idea doesn’t even faze me because he’s laughing. He’s happy.
I like making him happy. Feels nice. Addictive.
He shakes his head, still chuckling. “What the fuck? This isn’t a romantic getaway.”
“Might as well make the most of it.”
He frowns, and then his shoulders slump. “You know what? You’re right. Why the fuck not?”
That perks me up. He’s not fighting it anymore—fighting me. He gave it his all, but I wore him down.
Perfect.
He sighs and gestures at me. “Go on, get up. I’ll meet you outside.”
I love that he doesn’t offer to help with the ropes. We both know how pointless that’d be now. “Don’t leave me alone outside for too long.”
“I won’t be but a minute. And here.” He tosses something my way, and I realize it’s my pants.
I ignore them entirely. I don’t want pants in the way of getting to him.
I quickly wriggle the fastenings around my wrists loose and stand up, stretching as I do.
Ansel peers over at me, my naked body on display, and his cheeks flush.
I grab the blanket from the bed and tuck it under my arm.
The knife is tucked underneath as well, hidden from his eyes.
Not to use on him, but just in case we’re ambushed.
I don’t think we will be, but I can never be too careful. Especially with whatever shit he’s gotten himself into.
When I stride toward the door, his eyes move down to my cock swinging between my legs. The more he stares at it, the harder it gets.
I pretend I haven’t noticed. “You didn’t happen to bring any hot chocolate, did you? The kind with the little marshmallows?”
“No,” he huffs, and then turns his gaze away.
Hmm. I’ll have to make sure to get proper supplies for next time. “That’s fine. Can still be romantic without the cocoa.”
“Not romantic,” he seethes, but I’m already striding outside, bare as the day I was born. I crane my neck up toward the dark sky above me, searching for the best place the two of us can lie down and watch the stars.
My bare feet crunch on twigs and leaves, and I feel the odd mosquito bite, but it’s nothing I haven’t endured before.
Don’t come home if you fail at this.
My father’s words echo in my head as I set the blanket on the ground, pushing his voice away. I don’t need him in my head at a time like this. There’s nothing worse for a boner than him.
Thank fuck he’s dead.
Asshole.
When the blanket is draped across the ground, the dagger hidden beneath some leaves, I turn to face the door, waiting for Ansel to appear. He takes a while. Far too long. He really needs to do better with his kidnapping victims. He can’t leave them alone this long.
I should teach him a lesson. Maybe that’ll get it through his head not to be so reckless.
I roll my lips between my teeth and debate it. He’ll be so mad, and I don’t want to upset him, but really, he needs to be more careful.
You’re too much like your father.
“No, I’m not,” I mutter. “Nothing like him. I won’t hurt him, just a lesson. An important one.”
I wrestle with it for a moment, and when he doesn’t make an appearance, I decide I have to.
Within seconds, I’m in the woods, blending in with the surroundings. It would be better if I covered myself with dirt so the moonlight can’t catch on my skin, but I don’t want to go that far. I just want to hide for a minute.
Let him come to the realization that I could escape if I wanted to.
The door opens a moment later, and Ansel steps outside, his gaze swiveling around trying to find me.
He can’t, obviously. I’m behind a tree, peering out, watching.
My cock is incredibly hard, like I’m on the hunt. Primal. Feral.
“Shit,” I hear Ansel mutter as he strides forward quickly, almost tripping on a branch. “Shit. There’s no way he’s gone. No fucking way.”
My fingers dig into the bark of the tree. Just thirty more seconds, I tell myself. I don’t want him upset. Just a small amount of panic.
Just so he knows that feeling and is more diligent about watching over me.
“Brad!” I hear him call out, desperation in his voice. “Brad! Come back here, you little shit!”
I grind my teeth at that but hold on. Twenty more seconds. Not too soon.
“Oh my god, I’m a dead man.” He pulls at his hair, his eyes wide with terror. “I’m so fucking dead.”
He rushes forward, and that’s when I step out, grabbing on to him.
He screams and kicks at me, but when he realizes it’s me, he sags in relief. I hold him close, savoring the feel of him.
“What the fuck!” he wheezes. “Where were you?”
“I just did a quick perimeter check,” I lie.
“Oh my god. Next time, tell me. Don’t go wandering without me.”
He turns in my arms and my fingers tighten against him.
“Next time, come out quicker. You shouldn’t leave your victims alone for so long. We’ve been over this.”
He steps back and my hands fall to my sides, my fingers curling into my palms as I struggle not to reach out for him.
“Oh my god, were you, like, teaching me a lesson? Was this some kind of mentor bullshit?”
I say nothing, impressed that he can read my intentions so well.
“You were.” He shoves me in the chest, and I take a small step back, giving him this win. “Don’t fuck with me. I mean it. I have a lot on the line. I won’t be messed with.”
“I won’t do it again,” I say softly. And I won’t. Not after seeing how he panicked.
“I’m a dead man.”
I hope he meant that figuratively, for both our sakes. I won’t rest if there’s someone out there threatening my butterfly.
Ansel lifts his chin. “You better not. Or I’ll murder you myself.”
I don’t believe that at all, but I can feel the anger radiating off him. And I’m pleased he learned something, despite not wanting to admit it, but I also want to make amends.
“You can punish me for it, if you’d like,” I say, realizing I’ve never willingly given myself up for punishment before. But I feel I deserve it this time. I did frighten him. It was with good intentions, but still, I made him panic.
I don’t like that I did that.
Ansel scowls. “I should. I should punish you.”
I hold up my hands in surrender and fall to my knees, ready to get on with it.
He stares down at me, and a frown lines his lips. “What are you doing?”
“Surrendering.”
His feet shuffle on the ground, rustling up leaves.
“My father found that switches from trees worked well,” I say, my gaze meeting his. “Plenty of those around.”
His eyes widen, and he reaches down, trying to tug me up.
“Get up. I mean it. I’m not hitting you with a branch. Good fuck,” he says.
I hesitate slightly as my feet hit the ground and I stand once more. “You sure?”
“Of course I’m fucking sure. And who the fuck is your father?”
I don’t answer that. I’m not ready for Ansel to find out who my family is just yet. Especially because then I’ll also have to admit to lying about my identity.
Ansel doesn’t seem to expect an answer anyway. “What a dickhead. I’m so sorry, Brad. No kid should be beaten like that. It’s just plain wrong.”
I cock my head, staring at this odd creature. “Really?”
“Yes, really.” His eyes soften. “Do you want to talk about it?”
My mouth drops open. Do I? My brothers have pushed for me to go to therapy for years, and I’ve always refused. The thought of talking to a stranger gives me hives.
The thought of talking to Ansel…well, it doesn’t scare me as much as it should.
“Maybe later,” I say weakly. If we get into it now, we won’t do anything else. And I’ll be damned if I don’t get laid because of my fuck-knuckle dead dad.
“Okay.” He reaches down, brushing the dirt and leaves from my knees. My dick, which has remained hard due to his proximity, leaps at how close he is to it.
He ignores it, standing back up and then grabbing my wrists and tugging me toward the blanket. Perhaps I didn’t ruin the romantic night after all. Perhaps he’ll give me another chance.
“Lie down.”
I can’t help but grin. “No punishment though? If you don’t want to beat me, perhaps I could offer up my mouth again.”
That makes him sputter, and he shoves me toward the blanket. I go willingly, back on my knees, my hands on my thighs, my cock a straight rod between my legs.
He watches me for a moment and then takes a step forward.
I can see the bulge in his pants, and I wet my lips. He reaches out, letting his fingers trail down my jaw. Shivers move through my body, and my cock leaks. “I think your punishment should be no touching me. No sucking my cock. Sleeping on the floor. Just no contact.”
That makes my eyes narrow.
“You play dirty.”
His lips twitch, and he puffs out his chest.
“You’re learning,” I add, and flop onto the blanket, accepting my fate. “But if you change your mind, I’m here, waiting and willing.”
He doesn’t say anything to that. He just lowers himself next to me and turns his face up to the sky. I scoot over as close as I can without touching. He knows what I’m doing, but says nothing in response.
“Would you really be a dead man if I escaped?” I finally ask.
He swallows. “Yeah, probably.”
Nope. I don’t like that at all. “I’ll protect you, you know?”
“I can protect myself,” he replies, but it’s not with the same biting tone he usually uses. It’s more resigned. “But please, don’t escape. Not yet. If you do as you’re told, you’ll be fine. I won’t let them hurt you.”
That makes me huff loudly, amusement in my tone. “Thank you.”
It’s said with all sincerity. My chest tightens with a foreign feeling. I don’t know if anyone has ever promised that to me. Usually it was a promise to hurt me. But then again, I was raised by a sociopath, so I shouldn’t be surprised.
“You’re welcome,” he says, eyeing me before leaning back slightly and staring up at the night sky. I do the same, watching the twinkling lights above us.
“Did you know that stars are born in batches in their stellar nurseries? Can you imagine little baby stars just collapsing into existence?” I ask.
Ansel peers over at me. “I had no idea there were nurseries in space.”
“Me neither. But then I looked it up and saw that it’s not what we think. It’s a cold, dark place made of clouds of gas and dust. This forms the perfect conditions for stars to be born.”
“Huh. Interesting.”
“Yeah, space is a fascinating place. I fixated on astronomy for a few years.”
Ansel smiles softly. “I can tell.”
“Did you know that stars travel the galaxy in clusters, like traveling with friends?”
“Nope.”
I put my hands behind my head and stare up at them. “I think I’m kind of like a star sometimes.” I have his attention. “It’s probably why I was so captivated by them for so long. I related.”
“You were born into a nursery and like to travel?” Ansel asks, and I turn toward him, meeting his curious gaze.
“Who I am today is because of a specific set of conditions—the way I was raised, the things I was taught. When I look back, it feels a little like space. Vacuous, cold, dark. And yet, here I am. I’m not alone either.
I have brothers who have been by my side through it all.
You could say we’ve traveled this existence together. ”
“Do you miss them?” he asks, and I let out a laugh.
“I don’t.” I’m sure they’re tracking me right now. The fuckers. It doesn’t matter that I ditched my phone and watch; The Firm has endless resources. I’m more worried they’ll show up before the actual bad guys and end this extended date I have with Ansel.
“I don’t have siblings. I mean, I have a best friend I consider a brother,” Ansel says, and then shakes his head. “Fuck, I shouldn’t tell you this.”
“Is that the N scrawled on the wall?”
“Yeah, but still no siblings. No family.”
“Ah, more of a solitary star then.”
“Or a solitary black hole.”
That makes me laugh. “You’re not a black hole, my butterfly. You’re much more than that. Vibrant, even. Maybe a planet. Saturn? One of the most beautiful planets, I think.”
“Not so solitary though.”
“And why’s that?”
“They have moons.”
I consider that for a moment. “Ah, they do. I think you could call me Titan, then.”
“And why’s that?”
“Well, Saturn has two hundred and seventy-four moons, but the largest is Titan. It just orbits endlessly around the planet, admiring its beauty.”
“Shut up,” Ansel replies, but it’s not said with derision or annoyance. More shy embarrassment.
I flop back down and let silence move over us, liking the idea of me being a moon orbiting my beautiful Saturn more and more.
“How old were you when you went through your obsession with space?”
I click my tongue. “Hm, probably fifteen. Before that, it was anything war. Army, weapons.”
“I’d rather not hear about that right now. Can you tell me more space facts?” Ansel asks, his knee hitting my bare leg and making me bite back a moan. “Just to distract me for a minute.”
“Sure can,” I say, and then rattle a bunch off, weaving them together with parts of my past. He may not realize it, but I’m giving him pieces of me.
I just hope he cherishes them.
Not many do.