Chapter 7 Colton
COLTON
Stumbling into the bathroom, I slide my fingers into my hair, tugging at the roots to see if this is real or not.
Nope, that wasn’t a fucking daydream.
I brace both hands on the sink and just stand there for a second, letting the water run.
I’ve been with guys before. I know what wanting a man feels like.
I know the difference between casual interest and the particular want that gets under your skin.
I’ve been with guys who were curious, guys who were confident in their sexuality, and those who would rather keep me a secret.
Guys who kissed me and I questioned, and those I knew what they wanted out of me.
Rhett Thornwood hasn’t even touched me, and I already know I’m in trouble.
That half of a second when his breath changed and I felt his hard cock is going to live in my head for a long time.
What would his face look like if I kissed him? Would he question and fight it, or grab me back. Would his controlled facade crack all at once or piece by piece?
The man is obviously questioning himself, but will he question me if I push him over the edge?
Palming my half-hard cock through my jeans, a quick scan of the bathroom confirms I’m alone—no feet under the stalls. A sigh of relief slips out of me as I adjust myself so you can’t see the outline of my cock in these jeans if someone walks in.
Turning the faucet on, I listen to the water run, thinking of Rhett’s lips.
If we kissed, would it be soft, or like everything else, would he make it hard?
Staring at myself in the mirror and trying to slow down my brain, I tell myself, “There’s nothing wrong with being attracted to someone, man or woman.”
Is he ashamed that it’s me? Or—
No, I can’t go there.
My knuckles turn white, squeezing the porcelain sink.
Maybe he’s ashamed because of Molly, who deserves better than what he could offer her.
Poor girl. At this point, she’d be better off chasing someone else—anyone other than Rhett.
The urge to chase after Rhett buzzes beneath my skin as if I’m on a live wire.
There’s nothing wrong with us wanting each other.
Now I know better—his words and actions don’t match. This little I don’t want you back act is going to be a bitch, especially since he’s trying to convince himself it’s the truth.
Splashing the cold water over my face, I will the thoughts to stop, before turning off the faucet, leaving the bathroom to go back to the game we need to finish.
Instead, I find Dawson and Cash are putting up all the pool cues, and Rhett is nowhere to be found.
Fucking coward.
Dawson catches me first.
“Ya’ll already calling it a night?” I ask, pulling my phone out and glancing at the time. It’s 1:30 in the morning already, and closing is at two a.m.
“Oh shit. Never mind.” Tucking my phone back into my pocket, I extend my hand to Dawson. “You played great, even if one of you fuckers should have warned me.”
Both Dawson and Cash let out a laugh as Dawson shakes my hand.
Cash comes over to shake my hand as well, and I casually ask, “Where’d Rhett go?”
Cash shrugs, dropping my hand. “Probably got a call from Molly trying to sweet talk him into her bed again.”
I ball my fist at my side.
Images flood my brain. Rhett in his truck, Molly’s number on the screen, driving toward her instead of staying. Choosing the easy, legible thing. The thing that makes sense in a town like this. The thing that fits neatly into the life he’s built for himself.
I flex my fingers slowly.
I don’t actually have anything against Molly, she just has the unfortunate luck of being in the way of something I want. It’s not her fault, though.
“Fair. Ya’ll get home safe.” I nod at them both before walking over to the bar to wait for Halle to get off, taking the chair at the end.
The guys leave and Halle closes the remaining customers’ tabs, fluttering back and forth from one end of the bar to the other as I fidget, ready to spill it all to her.
Seeing me fidgeting, Halle walks over. “Shoot that, then sip on this. I’m kicking out the stragglers, and then you can talk.” She slides a shot of brown liquor and a cup of water in front of me.
I slam back the small shot glass without asking what it is, letting the liquor burn all the way down, and send up a silent prayer to the Lord above for giving me such an understanding older sister.
One by one, the bar stools empty and patrons leave.
Time drags by, and I swear, minutes feel like hours.
Lost in watching the clock, I hear the faint click of a lock. Turning, I find Halle by the front door, locking us in and everyone else out.
Gathering my courage, I straighten up to speak, but she raises a finger, halting me.
“Let me check the bathrooms for stragglers and make sure the kitchen staff went home. You can hold on for five more minutes,” she says, walking off to do all her usual checks.
She doesn’t take long at all before she’s heading back behind the bar, so she can start washing all the glasses. Making eye contact, she gives me the go ahead.
“He’s fucking gay. Or, I guess, bisexual, asexual, pansexual? Hell if I know which, but he’s not straight,” I gush, unable to contain my excitement.
She shoots me a look that would make most men crumble. “Colton Lee Dawson…what the hell did you do to him?”
The accusation makes my blood boil, and I fix her with a wild look.
“No, Halle. You didn’t hear me. He’s not straight.
Okay? We were flirting all night, and when I cornered him in the hallway, not only was he rock fucking hard, but I felt the outline of his dick.
The look on his face made me want to devour him whole.
Halle, he’s meant to be mine. I fucking know it as well as I know my own goddamn name. ”
My heart thrashes wildly in my chest from being able to say it out loud.
Her eyes soften, and something like pity crosses her face. “Colt, babe, if you’re meant to be then why didn’t you go home together? Or better yet, why did I see him practically bolt out of here, like the devil himself was on his heels?”
Reaching across the bar, she takes my hand in hers, squeezing gently.
“I love you, but now I know what devil was at his heels.” Pausing, her features soften.
“Why are you chasing a man who clearly isn’t interested?
Don’t you want someone who wants you back?
You’re chasing after the idea of you and the town’s Golden Boy, for what…
? Retaliation? Or maybe a summer fling?”
Jerking my hand out of hers, my temper flares.
“Halle, I’m not just fucking chasing someone who doesn’t want me.
Did you miss the part where I felt his very hard erection?
We had been flirting all night. Maybe he ran because he’s scared.
This is a small town, and last I checked, he still has a girlfriend.
People are allowed to be unsure of their sexuality or not ready for everyone to know.
It doesn’t mean he doesn’t want me. He does. I know he does.”
Halle sets down the glass she’s drying and looks at me. “Do you know, or do you want to know? Because those aren’t the same thing, and you’re smart enough to know the difference.”
I open my mouth, then stop myself. The truth is, I’m not completely sure…but I haven’t wanted to be this sure about something in a long time.
“Both,” I say finally. “I want it to be true, and I also think it is. I’m aware that’s not a great foundation, but, Halle…” I meet her gaze. “I didn’t imagine what happened in that hallway. Whatever else is uncertain, that part isn’t.”
Throwing her hands up in mock surrender, she continues washing the glasses. “Okay, Colt. Say I do believe you—you and Rhett Thornwood want each other. What’s the plan? Like you said, he still has a girlfriend. He’s nothing if not a loyal man.”
Who gives a fuck about Molly. They break up, end of story.
“Obviously he’s going to break up with her. I mean…he has to break up with her. Honestly, if you listen to Cash, he’s needed to break up with her for some time now.”
“I’m sure Cash did. That’s also coming from the man who has slept with most of the girls in this town and wants a crack at that one, too.”
“Maybe so, but I saw them together at the bonfire. I have more passion in my fucking pinky toe than they do that relationship.”
We both chuckle.
“Okay, so they break up. Then what? Workplace romance? Sneaking around the farm only for Eli or Grandpa Ben to catch you. I don’t think so.”
“No, work is work, and those men scare the shit out of me. We aren’t something you’d read in your little romance books. Well, maybe a tiny bit like your romance books, but nothing major.”
We settle into a comfortable silence for a little bit, the events replaying in my head with Halle’s words.
Breaking the silence, my voice comes out smaller than intended.
“Halle, you could see the pool tables from the bar. Tell me it wasn’t flirting and tiptoeing at the edge of more?
I know I can be bullheaded and don’t listen well, but, Halle girl …
” My eyes plead with her to give me some confirmation that I didn’t imagine it all.
“I have never experienced an attraction to a man like this in my life. I have always had a small crush on Rhett, we both know that, but this isn’t some childhood crush, or me trying to force something to get back at him for high school.
Once you get past the shell of who he’s built himself to be in his own head, his smile could light up the whole room. Not that I’d tell him that shit.”
I huff out a laugh, nervous about what’s going to come out of her mouth next. Halle is nine years older than me, but she’s wise beyond that. When the world feels like it’s going to close in on me, I know I have her.
“Colt, I did see it. I caught it the moment he saw you and walked in the door tonight. Something was off, but I don’t want you chasing someone that isn’t ready to be out in the open like you are.”
Her words soothe me, breathing life and validation into mine and Rhett’s relationship.
Rhett Thornwood is meant to be mine, and I can’t wait to break down his walls.