Chapter 12 #2
Shaking my head doesn’t help, but I do it anyway. I turn on the car and drive away, towards a bar I’ve never been to before. A gay bar. I know Damien has been there a few times. I’m pretty sure it’s where he met his last boyfriend before we were turned.
Why am I thinking about him again? Fuck me.
I turn on the radio and force myself to pay attention to the music instead. The bluetooth connects to my phone, and starts playing the last song we were listening to as we drove to Jacob’s: “bad decisions” by Bad Omens.
I huff and shake my head slowly.
How fitting.
If there’s a God out there, he’s definitely laughing at me right now.
I sing along to the lyrics as I drive, unable to stop thinking about Damien, since it’s his favorite band. He engraved their songs into my mind until I started liking them too. I even took him to any and all concerts they played near wherever we lived. Fucking brat.
Maybe I should pick something else to listen to, but the beast that commands me won’t let me.
It wants me to keep indulging in Damien’s overwhelming presence in my heart.
And I get the feeling that, even if I listened to my favorite band—A Day to Remember—I’d still be thinking of the times I took Damien to see them live with my friends.
His cute little face the first time he came to a concert with us has been forever etched into my memory.
He was fascinated by the music and the frenzy of the mosh-pit; his blue eyes bright and glistening with excitement.
By the time I park close to the bar in question, there’s a tight knot in my throat, and my heart is beating a lot faster than I’d want it to. But I’ve made my decision: I’m gonna get it out of my system tonight. I hide the bag with my bloody clothes under the car seat and head into the bar.
Chill, Killien. It can’t be that bad.
Soft electronic music fills the space, almost drowned by joyful human chatter.
It smells heavily of a strong mix of perfumes and cigarette smoke, but the atmosphere is pleasant.
Rainbow-colored lights glow above the bar, reflecting its colors on the polished white marble top.
The place is packed—which is a good thing.
More chances of getting someone’s attention, I guess.
I sit at the bar, gracefully slipping onto a fancy stool upholstered in black leather, and order a beer, although I’m not going to drink it. My stomach is still full of human blood, because I drank way too much. Alcohol would make me throw up right away.
A smile curls up the corners of my lips as I remember how good it felt to let myself go wild on those humans. It was exhilarating, and it made me feel alive. I think I’m starting to understand why Damien likes violence so much.
Again?
Stop. Thinking. About. Damien.
But that’s way easier said than done, right? Especially when there’s a guy in the room that resembles him enough to confuse me.
For a minute, I think I’m having a vision, or that my brother has actually come to find me.
The longer I look at this man, though, the easier it gets to tell it’s not him.
His similarities with Damien are many: all dressed in black, with an alternative vibe, a lip ring and septum piercing, and even a similar haircut—although his brown hair is lighter and not as curly.
He’s also taller than my brother, and kind of fragile-looking.
Yet, my body reacts to him like iron to a magnet. Once my gaze settles on him, there’s no way I can look away. He seems thinner than my brother. Damien has pretty toned legs that always fill his skinny jeans perfectly. That’s not the case for this man. But the resemblance is still there.
Why am I looking at the only person that reminds me of him? Dammit.
I take a deep breath and pretend to take a sip of the disgusting beer in my hand.
I signed up for this shit the moment I decided to let loose of the hungry, murderous beast within me.
Now, I have to suck it up and yield to its wishes.
If it wants that guy in particular, then that’s what it will get. Fucking hell.
I stare at the Damien look-alike shamelessly.
He sits on one of the many black leather curved sofas in the room, legs crossed and cigarette between his fingers, carelessly chatting with a group of friends.
To my surprise, he catches me staring pretty fast. The guy has striking blue eyes, which makes my heart skip a beat.
What are the chances of running into him? This whole thing seems meant to be. Especially when he raises an eyebrow at me and smiles. His friends don’t notice, they just keep chatting. I straighten my back and smile back. We’re off to a good start.
A few minutes go by before he excuses himself from the group and approaches me.
The stool right next to mine is free, so he sits on it gracefully.
Pretty much like Damien would, but without the cute little hop.
It’s weird, but the beast in me seems to love this guy.
Heat engulfs my heart when I get a closer look at his eyes.
“Do I know you?” he asks, resting his elbow on top of the bar and tilting his head to the side. The rainbow-colored lights make his skin glow in a purple hue, and his voice is silky and soft.
He gives off a very gay vibe, which Damien doesn’t.
My brother could easily pass for a straight alternative guy, even when we were human.
He only acts flamboyant when he thinks it will get him something in return.
The little brat is like a chameleon, always morphing into whatever his chosen partner prefers.
Stop. Thinking. About. Damien!
“I don’t think so.” I smile. “It’s my first time coming here.”
“Oh?” He raises his eyebrows. “We have a newbie, that’s nice. I’m Caleb, by the way.”
“Nice to meet you Caleb—I’m Killien.” I extend my hand towards him. Caleb laughs softly and shakes it, as if he wasn’t expecting it. His skin is cold compared to Damien’s, but that’s not his fault. All humans are cold compared to us.
Caleb wraps his slim, bony fingers around the beer bottle and takes it from my hand.
My smile widens as I watch him bring it to his lips.
He seems to trust me, somehow. Not a good idea, but I’m not gonna warn him, am I?
He shouldn’t be sipping from stranger’s drinks, although that’s not the kind of danger I represent. I’m not gonna drug him.
The conversation with Caleb is easy; he likes to talk, and I like to listen.
Just another similarity between him and Damien.
It doesn’t even surprise me anymore. I let him speak and exude his confidence on me as I swallow it all.
In less than half an hour, I’m staring at his lips with the irresistible urge to kiss them.
His friends walk by us and say goodbye as they leave the bar.
They don’t seem bothered or concerned by me.
In fact, I’d say they mostly ignore me. Caleb must have that in common with Damien as well—the constant flirting with everyone he comes across.
Fine by me; I don’t really mind. It’s better that his friends don’t remember me well, just in case.
I might or might not kill him, depending on what the beast within me decides to do.
“Would you like to go somewhere more private, Killien?” Caleb places a hand on my knee and slowly caresses his way up my thigh. His eyes glisten under the purple light above us as he wets his lips.
I nod, resisting the urge to dive in for a kiss.
I’m way too riled up, and my body is completely into him.
Sometimes, I don’t even see him in front of me, but the man I really want.
It makes my heart twist and turn in my chest. But it doesn’t bother the horny beast, who is now in control of my actions.