3
Jackson gave her an expression of compassion. “It means,” he said softly, “that if you look back at Hoover’s history, I’ll bet you find he was one of Conway Schmitt’s original choirboys. And whether or not the sexual exploitation has continued—and sometimes these relationships can span decades—the Nosferatu/Renfield thing might still be up and running.”
Ellery’s mother wrinkled her nose. “That’s horrendous,” she said and shook her head. “I mean… that’s horrific . But it also makes sense. Schmitt gets out of prison, reaches out to his groomed companion, and Hoover gives him shelter.”
“And Schmitt is educated,” Ellery noted, remembering the information that Jade and Crystal had fed him. “He may have been a choir director, but he has a degree in political science. By the time he gets out of jail, he’s got a plan .”
Jackson went very still.
“What?” Ellery asked, turning to him, for the first time in a few moments reminded of the awkwardness between them.
“Nothing,” Jackson said cagily. “I thought you were going in a different direction, but no—you’re right.”
Ellery and his mother met eyes. “Where?” Ellery demanded. “We said he came out with a plan, ostensibly to make money and to gain power. Where did you think this was going?”
Jackson let out a breath and gave Taylor an uncomfortable look.
“Spit it out,” she commanded, sitting gracefully and frowning at what was probably a now-empty coffee cup.
Ellery took the cup and moved back to the kitchen, keeping an eagle eye on an uncomfortable Jackson.
“Cody and I were going to talk to Otto first,” Jackson said, “and maybe debrief some of the other kids we broke out of the place yesterday. If nothing else I need to talk to your advocates, Ellery, to see what sort of pattern Moms for Clean Living used for recruitment. And I’ve got Toe-Tag looking into something—”
“I thought you said this was two different things?” Ellery’s mother reminded him. “There was the ‘service’ organization, the political affiliation, and the children. You said the children weren’t being groomed for trafficking—”
“But they were being groomed,” Jackson explained. “Don’t you understand? They were vulnerable. Some of the girls had been abused. I would imagine the boys were being used. Think about it. Moms for Clean Living. It’s a catchall . They implement the political agenda at a grassroots level. They make a handy receptacle for money laundering. And they’re so wholesome, so hell-bent on protecting children, that they protect them right into the hands of….” He shrugged.
“Whoever wants them,” Ellery said, getting it. “Including Conway Schmitt and Gannett Hoover. Not for money, but simply to be used.”
“And discarded,” Jackson whispered. “I don’t think Caleb was an accident.”
“You think he was a byproduct,” Ellery said, feeling cold.
“It’s like any other abduction,” Taylor Cramer said, sounding equally numb. “It is trafficking—but it’s for personal use. They’re using the pray the gay away as an excuse to get children for their own needs.”
“I….” Jackson exhaled. “I have some suspicions,” he agreed.
Ellery’s stomach roiled, only now understanding what Jackson must have been carrying with him all of the last night. Toe-Tag. Toby Tagliare would literally know where the bodies were buried.
And where they surfaced.
“When were you going to tell me?” Ellery asked, feeling betrayed. It was stupid. They’d been so busy, and so exhausted the day before. But this… this was so awful….
This was why the dream, Ellery realized. This was why that memory had been so close to the surface that touching him had scraped the skin raw. Because he was wondering where his sister had gone.
He’d already seen the worst the world had to offer. He’d thrown it in his minivan the night before and driven the victims to the hospital and hoped— hoped —it would be okay.
He probably knew this feeling, Ellery thought sickly. He probably lived it, in a tiny corner of his heart, every day.
“When I’d found the bodies,” Jackson said, staring sightlessly at the cats on the couch. “I’d tell you then. That’s why I want to be at the property when you’re there. I just… I am really hoping I’m wrong.”
And this was why he hadn’t told Ellery. This was why he’d risked everything to break the kids out.
“Mother,” he said, feeling very off balance as he set her coffee cup down in the sink instead of refilling it. “How about you go take a nap. We can’t leave for Sonora until one. It will take us until at least three to get wherever Hoover’s little mansion of delights may be, and you will be far more dangerous with a little sleep.”
“I….” For a moment she was going to argue—he was well aware. Then she peered carefully between the two of them and said, “Of course.” She stood then and walked to Jackson to place a kiss on his cheek. “Be kind to each other,” she urged, and then she turned toward the guest bedroom, putting noise-canceling earbuds in as she moved.
Jackson grunted and watched her go. “Why is she doing that?” he asked. Ellery strode out of the kitchen and past him, grabbing his hand and dragging him to the bedroom as he went.
“Because you and I have some business to discuss,” he said crisply. “And she’s giving us as much privacy as she can manage.” He gave Jackson’s hand a tug. “Come on, Jackson. We’ve got a little bit of shit to sort before Cody gets here—”
“He’s got two hours!” Jackson complained.
“Good,” Ellery muttered. “You should be in the shower by the time he arrives.”
“We’re having sex?” Jackson asked, sounding legitimately rattled. “With your mother here?”
Ellery hauled him into the bedroom and shut the door, careful to make sure there were no three-legged furry creatures in the way.
“She put earbuds in, Jackson. She won’t be able to hear us having sex unless we bring the roof down. But that’s not the point.”
Jackson scowled at him. “What’s the point?”
Ellery kissed him, hard and inescapably and without equivocation. He kissed Jackson senseless, until Jackson was backed up against the bedroom door, thrusting his hands under Ellery’s pajamas, cupping satin handfuls of Ellery’s bare ass with one hand and scraping his fingers across Ellery’s shoulders with the other.
Ellery pulled back and made sure he had Jackson’s complete attention.
“The point,” he panted, “is that you look me in the eyes. The point is that you’re not afraid to tell me anything .” Jackson tried to protest, and Ellery kissed him again, dominating him, taking him over heart and soul. He pulled back again, to see if Jackson was understanding the point, and Jackson was leaning against the door, mouth slack, eyes clouded with passion, and suddenly the passion was the point.
Jackson’s eyes focused on him then, and he shook his head, as though trying to clear his thoughts. “Ellery—”
“You didn’t tell me,” Ellery growled, so angry and so hurt he wasn’t sure he could get the words out.
“I didn’t know—”
“You suspected!” Ellery accused. As he fumed he kept his hands busy, ripping Jackson’s T-shirt off, squirreling underneath the waistband of his pajamas.
“It’s so awful,” Jackson gasped as Ellery struggled out of his own shirt. Jackson helped him by grabbing the lapels of his pajama top and ripping it open, scattering buttons everywhere.
“I know it’s awful,” Ellery said, rubbing his hands along Jackson’s bare torso. “Baby, it’s horrible . You needed me .”
Jackson closed his eyes and pulled Ellery against him so they were skin to skin. “Oh God, I did,” he whispered. “All yesterday. I needed you so badly. But we had to keep going—you know that—we had to keep going.”
Ellery kissed him, hard, angry, because he was right . They’d had to keep going—someone they loved had been hurt , and the stakes were so fucking high, and they’d had to keep going, but the cost….
Ellery wouldn’t think about Jackson’s screams, his whimpers in bed the night before, or the sobs that had wracked him until he’d fallen abruptly asleep. He wouldn’t think about the nagging ache in his chest and the way his head pounded as he’d tried to battle the wrongness of their day.
Right now, in this instant, he didn’t want to think at all.
The kiss ignited, their hands everywhere, their need for each other insatiable.
Jackson needed him. Ellery needed Jackson to be okay.
Ellery turned him, maneuvered him, kissed their way to the bed. The rest of their clothes were pushed and wiggled out of, and then they were bare skin to bare skin, Ellery’s body covering Jackson’s on the still-rumpled sheets.
Ellery could smell his sleep and despair and his quiet on the sheets, and the heat and vitality and living, pulsing physical desperation in the man underneath him.
He wanted to devour it all.
He kissed his way down Jackson’s scarred chest, stopping just long enough to suck hard on each nipple. He paused around his soft-skinned, lightly furred stomach to command, “Grab the lube.” He felt Jackson reaching under their pillow as he wrapped his lips around Jackson’s cock.
“Oh God,” Jackson whispered, his hips arching. “Jesus, Ellery—”
But Ellery was beyond pleas. He couldn’t keep Jackson safe on the street as he did his job. He couldn’t protect him from whatever hells his past had buried in his heart and scarred psyche. His whole life he’d been led to believe that with reason and hard work he could change the world, but he couldn’t change Jackson’s pain.
This , owning him heart and soul, being the man who knew his demons, who helped Jackson Rivers arm himself against darkness— this was how he controlled his universe. This was how he changed the world. By protecting this one man, by keeping him safe and keeping him sane and letting him know he was loved.
Jackson made a soft sound as his hips stuttered, and Ellery kept sucking, pulling his cockhead into the back of his throat and swallowing. Jackson beat at the mattress with one hand while fumbling the lube into the hand Ellery wasn’t using to squeeze and stroke his cock.
Ellery took the lube and paused when Jackson made that sound again, that soft sound of surrender. He tasted the sweetness of precome and squeezed Jackson’s base before lowering his head and swallowing again. The next sound Jackson made was muffled, and as Jackson spurted in his mouth and came, Ellery knew he was screaming orgasm into his cupped palm.
Ellery swallowed, his own arousal amping up with every swallow, with every grunt. He whined around Jackson’s pumping cock as he sought to get a handle on himself before he spent his climax in the sheets.
With one hand he snicked the lube tube and squeezed some onto his fingers. As Jackson pushed his feet against the bed and thrust his hips up, Ellery parted his buttocks and thrust his slick fingers into Jackson’s pucker.
Jackson groaned, the sound still muffled, and Ellery clicked the tube shut and shoved his body up, positioning himself and thrusting inside, letting out a grunt of his own, not bothering to muffle his sounds.
Yes, there was somebody in the house, and He . Didn’t . Care .
Almost violently he knocked Jackson’s hand away from his mouth and kissed him to muffle their noises. Jackson’s hands gripped his shoulders, slick and dripping with sweat, and Ellery fucked him savagely in short, powerful strokes, wanting to claim him, to heal him, to soothe him from the inside out.
Jackson groaned into his mouth and raised his legs to wrap around Ellery’s hips, and that was it. That’s all Ellery needed. Keeping their mouths fused together, he thrust one more time, a short charge of dynamite, and came.
Between them, he felt Jackson’s hot spend coating their stomachs and thighs as Ellery fucked him through a second orgasm—or a continuation of the first.
Ellery didn’t know, couldn’t keep score. He let out a small groan before collapsing on top of Jackson, knowing his lover, his mate , could bear his weight.
The roaring of his own blood in his ears receded, and the sound of their panting, the smell of their sex, filled his senses, and he rested his head on Jackson’s collarbone, welcoming Jackson’s palms on his sweaty shoulders.
“Soundproof?” Jackson asked hopefully into the silence.
“Yes,” Ellery said. He remembered his mother being very excited about the gift from her husband. “She’ll probably listen to briefs or a book or something while she goes to sleep.”
Jackson nodded and covered his eyes with his hand. “I have no idea why I let that happen.”
“Let?” Ellery was affronted. He pushed himself up, still inside Jackson’s body, and thrust a little. “I hate to tell you, buddy, but that was consensual.”
Jackson’s lips curved up into his first real smile since… well, since two nights ago before Henry had been shot. “Are you sure I didn’t seduce you, baby boy?”
Ellery grunted. “No, no, the blame for that one lays squarely on my shoulders.” He grew serious and moved Jackson’s hand from his eyes. “I mean it, though,” he said, making sure Jackson met his gaze. “No… no holding back. Not even when the world is tumbling about our ears. Not even when you suspect the worst. I need you to….” He squinted, watching as Jackson’s hectic color from their lovemaking faded, leaving the rusty blotches on his skin, tipping his eyelashes, smudging his mouth and his forehead, to show themselves.
“What?” Jackson asked, blinking like he was getting something out of his eyes.
Ellery closed his and rolled out of bed with a sigh. “I need you to go to the bathroom, take a shower, and let me dress your hand.”
“What in the—” Jackson actually looked at his hand, and his face washed red again as he saw the perfectly bite-sized ring of punctures on the bottom of his palm. “Well, that’s embarrassing,” he muttered, rolling out of bed and searching for his T-shirt.
“You’re not putting that on!” Ellery protested and then watched as Jackson wrapped his hand in it. “Oh. Okay. Wow. You… you had to work that hard at keeping quiet?”
Jackson gave him an unfriendly look. “ Somebody ,” he emphasized, “thought it would be a great idea to have angry sex while his mother was here.” He assumed an air of dignity that almost—but not quite—blanketed his shoulders. “I thought one of us should maybe uphold decorum.”
Ellery blinked at him, nonplussed. “Decorum?”
“Yes,” Jackson said, starting his grand exit to the bathroom.
“ You’re our representative for decorum now?” Ellery stood with his hands on his hips, his cock still dripping with come, and felt his own dignity clapping over his naked body like armor.
“Yes,” Jackson said without any particular irony or remorse. “Prove me wrong.”
Ellery’s behavior of the last half hour played in a dynamic, steamy X-rated slideshow behind his eyes. And now that his fury had passed, and Jackson’s self-recriminating spiral had been halted, he realized that after living together for more than a year and a half, this had been the first time they’d ever had sex when his mother was in the house.
That had been a mutual decision—their horror at the thought of doing something like they’d just done when Ellery’s mother might hear it had been considerable.
But it hadn’t been equal to Ellery’s belief that sending Jackson out today, to do the dangerous things he often ended up doing, without the emotional catharsis, without Ellery leaving a mark on his very soul , would have been wrong.
Jackson had needed what they’d done, and so, apparently, had Ellery.
“Well, then,” Ellery said, sweeping past Jackson into the bathroom. “If you’re the one with the decorum, you can make sure you got all your blood off my back in the shower. I would hate for Mother to suspect we had sex in our own bedroom.”
“Yeah,” Jackson muttered. “That could really throw me off my game for the rest of the day.”
“Which would be a shame,” Ellery said, starting the water. “And we haven’t had breakfast yet. Hurry, hurry.” He added that last primly, and was rewarded with Jackson’s snort.
And then, in the chill of the bathroom, he was rewarded by Jackson’s long body sliding alongside his and Jackson’s arms wrapping around his waist.
Ellery tilted his head back against Jackson’s shoulder, and Jackson whispered, “Hey, Counselor.”
“Hey yourself, Detective.”
“Good job.”
Ellery gave him a demure glance from under his lashes, not able to meet his eyes at this angle, but then, not really needing to meet them either. “Why, thank you. I’m rather pleased with it myself.”
Jackson chuckled and nuzzled his cheek, and a part of Ellery relaxed just a tad.
They were okay now. Jackson’s head was back where it should be: focused purely on getting their bad guy and making their case.
And Ellery was in his lover’s arms without any barriers, not even the fears that Jackson held on to in order to keep Ellery safe.
Together, he thought during that three-heartbeat break, being held and tended to by the man he loved more than life, together they could do anything.