Chapter 42 Truth in the Dark
TRUTH IN THE DARK
PRESENT DAY…
CASSIDY
Opening my eyes, I walk toward Amber. I come to a stop beside her, turn my head so I’m looking at her face. She stops humming, mouths the words to the chorus I know so well, and I whisper, "It was you."
Ren moves in my peripheral vision, but Declan and Darius both get in his way, preventing him from coming any closer. She looks up at me, her lips curving up into a smile as I go on, "It was you in the dark. With that sound. That song.”
Her smile falls slightly and she whispers, "It wasn't much but it was all I could do."
"It was more than you'll ever understand," I respond.
She shrugs. “Maybe, maybe not. I just knew he was coming to see what Miranda was hiding in the basement. Was just dumb luck that he was too off his rocker to realize it was just me in super dim light.”
“That’s why you got in the cage with me?”
“Yeah,” she answers, her eyes watching me. “He’d want to find the prize.”
“Were you worried he’d try to come back?”
“Yes, but luckily we were rescued, so I didn’t have to worry about it for long.”
I frown, tilt my head at her. “We?”
Her smile is back though not reflected in the sadness in her eyes, and after a moment she says, "Yes. Even with where I ended up, anywhere was better than that place for me,” she pauses, frowns as if she’s only just realized where she is.
“I don't know how much I can tell you or how much you even want to know, but I'll do what I can. "
"I almost feel as if I learned everything I need to know as soon as I walked in the room."
Amber's gaze immediately drops from mine. She stares at her hands briefly before glancing across the room. I follow her line of sight, that sickness an immediate cramp in my gut as my gaze falls on the cage still pushed into the corner.
I take a small step back before I can stop myself. Forcing myself to remain in place, I slowly shift back to my previous position and then Lilith is there on my other side. "It can't hurt you anymore."
The laugh that falls from my lip sounds foreign, edging that line between humor and mania. Once again, Ren attempts to move forward but this time I put my hand up, turning to meet his eyes. "I'm okay."
He immediately stops trying to make his way to me and I turn back to Amber. "It can't hurt you anymore either."
Her inhalation is stuttering, and she clears her throat before responding, "You'd think so, wouldn't you."
It's more a statement than a question, the haunted shadows on her face etched so deeply she may never be rid of them. And then she adds, "That woman's been dead for decades, yet still she finds new ways to hurt me."
She doesn't need to explain who she's referring to. "How does she hurt you?"
"How doesn't she?" Amber's words come out angry, any glimmer of a humor vanishing from her features.
Her eyes harden, her mouth turns down in distaste.
“A lifetime of being conditioned to turn my nose up at things like morality, and conscience.
Greed and power. Seeing people as tools for personal gain instead of unconditional love and support. "
Once again, I swallow the lump in my throat, pushing at the ever-growing ball of emotion walled in my chest. "Why did you bring those papers to me?"
"I wanted to see you. It made it easier if you didn't know who I was."
“Is there really legal stuff needing to be sorted?”
She nods and responds, "Oh yes. I need all those legalities wrapped up first."
Now I frown, squat down so she doesn't have to look up at me so awkwardly. I rest my hand on top of hers where she has laid in her lap. "First?"
Her expression softens, the corner of her mouth lifting slightly she whispers, "Before the end."
I frown, confusion over her words making me shake my head. Then Lilith is squatting down directly in front of Amber. "The end of what Amber?"
Amber turns her gaze onto Lilith, her eyes lighting up as she explains," Oh, Lils, it's so good to see you."
Lilith smiles as she responds, "Yes, I'm sorry I was away. I spent quite a bit of time literally fighting for my life."
Now Amber laughs and then she says, "Well, since you're here in front of me, I take it you won."
Lilith tilts her head as she's thinking it over for a moment and then she responds, "You know, I think I did too."
Again, Amber laughs, but when she doesn't say anything further, Lilith asks, “You can't deflect this time, Amb. I'm going to need you to explain the end."
Amber immediately sobers and then she shrugs. "The end of me."
She says the words devoid of emotion, expression flat, eyes dead. A shiver runs down my spine so I say, “But you’re free now.”
“I will never be free.”
“What if we could offer you an alternative?” Lilith asks, now gripping Amber’s hand in both of hers. “A way to move on without dumping you back into a society that is completely foreign to you.”
Amber’s brow furrows, confusion warring with the sadness in her eyes. She opens her mouth to speak, but then a voice from the shadows states loudly, “Send her back to the psych ward where she belongs.”
Amber stiffens, her head ducking forward as if she’s trying to fold in on herself. Lilith’s eyes narrow then she leans around Amber, peering into the shadows as my father appears at the bottom of the stairs.
His expression is angry, but I see the exhaustion, the worry clouding his eyes.
He takes a step closer, his words loud in the otherwise quiet room.
“She has no business being part of society,” he takes another step, and Lilith stands, releases Amber’s hand.
”She should remain locked up with all the other cra—“
“You shut your mouth,” Lilith grits out, finger pointed directly at my father, now standing only a couple feet away from me. “Your hurt ego and bruised pride have no place here.”
He scowls, but doesn’t back down. “But she—”
Lilith jumps forward, her finger poking him right in the chest. “I know all too well what she did. I was there, remember,” she punctuates each thought with more jabs to his chest, “I watched her kill her own mother. I watched her lead me into a basement to where her own daughter was caged. I kept watch over her year after year, making sure she could do no harm while also not have herself be harmed.”
My father is quiet now, some of the fight leaving him.
Hostility still shines in his eyes, but it has dulled some, the edges now tinged in sadness.
When he doesn’t say anything, Lilith goes on, “Most people don’t know what it’s like to fight demons that were instilled and nurtured since childhood.
How difficult it is, how painful. How the only way to truly overcome them is to reach down your own throat and rip them out of your insides until you pray you’ll fucking die.
“And even then, once you’ve purged the nightmare, you live in constant fear that it’ll all come back, that one day you’ll wake up and see that demon staring back at you in the mirror. And this will make you question if maybe, just maybe, you were the demon all along.”
Lilith stops talking, and you could hear a pin drop in the room.
Lilith and my father stare at each other, obviously at an impasse.
I hold my breath, uncertain what I should say or if I should say anything, but then Amber whispers something incoherent.
I turn my focus to her, bending down slightly. “What was that?”
Her frightened eyes meet mine. “Please don’t send me back.”
“Why shouldn’t I?” my father asks coldly.
Amber is silent for a moment but then her chin lifts and she straightens in the chair. “I’d rather die than go back.”
My father goes to respond, but Lilith, obviously knowing he’s about to say something shitty, pokes him in the chest again. He glares at her but remains quiet, back to their stare down.
“Amber,” Darius says from my other side, having somehow managed to brush right by me without me noticing.
He squats down, taking the same position Lilith had just been in, but he doesn’t try to touch her in any way.
“What would you say if I told you we have a place you can go where you’ll be safe without also being a prisoner? ”
“I’d say you’re a liar,” she retorts, then bites her lips, eyes wide in panic, as if she didn’t mean to say it.
Darius smiles, a low chuckle vibrating from him. “That’s fair.”
Her eyes flit to mine, then back to Darius, who’s waiting patiently for her to say something else. Her fingers twist nervously in her lap,
“It’s an open facility in the mountains,” he explains. “Its’s only accessible by plane. Every amenity you could ever dream of is available there, and we’re always adding new things as they’re brought up.”
“What’s the cost?”
“You don’t need to worry about any of that,” Lilith answers, her hand resting on Amber’s shoulder. “You’ll be safe there, and you’ll also have the opportunity to decide how you want to live the rest of your life. On your terms.”
“And what’s this place called?”
Darius smiles, his golden eye glittering in the dim light. “I call it ‘The End’.”
Amber quirks a brow. “Kind of ominous, isn’t it?”
He laughs then replies, “Such is life, I guess.”
“It sounds nice.”
“It’s amazing,” Lilith states. “If I wasn’t so old and stuck in my ways, I’d give it a shot myself.”
“May I visit her there?” I ask.
Darius shakes his head. “No, we don’t allow visitors,” he says, and I immediately deflate.
His hand on mine draws my eyes upward and he adds, “But it’s not a prison, Cassidy.
The point of the operation is to give survivors an opportunity to heal and rebuild.
To provide a safe environment for them to regroup and figure out how they want to live their life, how to manage their newly attained freedoms.”
“I don’t know,” she murmurs, not looking convinced, “Sounds too good to be true.”
I step closer, waiting for Darius to move out of the way so I can stand in front of her. Bending slightly, I grab her upper arms in my hands, pulling until she finally comes to her feet. We’re the same height, the same build, features so similar we’re an eerie carbon copy of each other.
She swallows visibly, but stares back at my unblinking, unflinching, as I ask, “You want to do right by me?” She nods, eyes glistening with unshed tears, so I go on, “You want me to forgive you?” Again, she nods, so I add, “You want me to be okay?”
She squirms in my hold, as if she’s suddenly uncomfortable in her own skin. Tightening my hold on her arms, I lean in, forcing her to hold my gaze as I ask again, “Do you want me to be okay?”
A sob rips through her, tears overflow. “Yes. Yes. Please.”
My eyes burn, but I blink back the tears, as I say, “Then do this.”
She frowns, shakes her head, and I nod, respond, “Do this for me.”
She glances at Darius who’s still standing next to me. Then she glances to my other side, instantly calming as Lilith whispers, “You can do it, you’ll see.”
Amber looks back to me, nods, a hiccupping sob falling from her lips.
“Promise me.”
At first, she appears confused, so I give her a slight shake and repeat, “Promise. Me.”
“I promise,” she mutters, then clears her throat, repeating more clearly, “I promise.”
Searching her eyes I loosen my hold, then release her and step back. She looks wrecked, as if one strong breeze will shatter her into a million little pieces. I consider hugging her, think maybe I’ll gather her into my arms and comfort her, but I don’t.
Instead, I turn to Lilith, motioning for her to take my place. “Help her,” then stepping back fully as Lilith takes my place, pulling her into an embrace. Amber crumbles into her, her arms hung loosely at her sides, her tears silent but for the shudder of her shoulders.
“I got you,” Lilith whispers, her hands rubbing over her back. “I got you.”
I turn away, suddenly wanting to be anywhere but here. I walk toward my father who’s still standing a couple feet away. Declan finally steps away from Ren who makes a beeline for me, but stops about foot from me.
Neither of them touch me, they both just stand back, watching. I look to my father and then to Ren. “I want to go home.”
My father nods, instantly turning and disappearing up the stairs at a jog. Ren moves closer, stops just shy of brushing his front against me, hunching over so I have no choice but to look in his eyes. “You good?”
“No,” I respond with a snort, about three heartfelt questions shy of having a complete meltdown. “But I will be.”
The corners of his mouth turn up slightly and he steps aside, allowing me to lead the way. Without a backward glance, I walk up the stairs, Ren at my back, the familiar hum of Sonny and Cher dancing in my head.