Chapter Fifty-Three #2
“For him?” I thought about Rowen’s letter, the one I’d read over and over until the paper had grown soft and worn at the creases.
I thought about the house he’d bought me without asking, without hesitation, as if my happiness was the only thing that mattered in this world.
I thought about the way he’d looked at me in his office that day, his eyes dark and intense, when he’d called me his pet, his equal, his everything.
Those words had carved themselves into my heart, permanent and undeniable.
“Yes. I’m willing to risk everything for him.
My reputation, my safety, my future... all of it. ”
Gunner turned away, his hand coming up to cover his face. I could see his shoulders shaking, could hear the ragged breath he tried to hide.
Haizley moved to his side, her hand resting on his back. She looked at me over her shoulder, her expression understanding in a way that made my throat tight.
“She’s not a little girl anymore, Gunner,” Haizley said quietly. “She’s a woman who’s survived things most people can’t even imagine. You can’t save her this time. You have to let her make her own choices. Even the ones that scare you.”
“Especially the ones that scare me,” I added, my voice barely above a whisper.
Gunner turned back to face me, and the look in his eyes was pure anguish. “I’m your brother. I’m supposed to protect you. That’s my job. That’s what I do.”
“I know.” I crossed the space between us, wrapping my arms around him. He held me tight, as if he were afraid I’d disappear if he let go. “And like Rowen, you also walked away to protect me, but here we are years later, together. Rowen is worth waiting for.”
“Then wait in Nebraska,” my brother pleaded.
I shook my head. “I need to be here.”
“I hate this,” he muttered into my hair. “I hate everything about this.”
“I know,” I said again, because what else was there to say?
We stood there for a long moment, holding each other the way we had when we were kids and the world felt too big and too scary, and the only safe place was in each other’s arms.
Finally, Gunner pulled back, his hands gripping my shoulders as he looked down at me. “If you’re staying, you need to be smart about it. You need to be careful.”
“I will.”
“And you need to stay in touch. Every day. I don’t care if it’s just a text. I need to know you’re alive.”
“Okay.”
“And if things go south, if you’re in danger, if you need help, if anything happens, you call me. Immediately. You understand?”
“I understand.”
He studied my face, searching for something... reassurance, maybe, or a sign that I wasn’t completely lost to this world. Whatever he found, it made him nod slowly.
“You’re as stubborn as Haizley,” he said, a ghost of a smile touching his lips. “You know that?”
“I learned from the best.”
Haizley stepped forward, pulling me into a hug that smelled like leather and vanilla and home. “Take care of yourself,” she whispered. “And don’t do anything I wouldn’t do.”
“That doesn’t leave me with many options,” I said, managing a weak laugh.
“Exactly.” She pulled back, her eyes serious. “Be smart, Melissa. This world doesn’t forgive mistakes.”
“I know.” I looked at my best friend, really looked at her. “How are you? With everything you’ve learned?”
Haizley took a deep breath. “I’m still processing.”
“I’m always here for you,” I told her. We’d done it before. Living in separate states but always there for each other. She smiled and nodded, before hugging me again.
They left a few minutes later, Gunner pausing in the doorway to look back at me one last time. The weight of his worry, his love, his fear—it all hung in the air between us, unspoken but understood.
“I love you, Mellie,” he said.
“I love you too.”
And then they were gone, and I was alone with my half-packed suitcase and the deed to a house I refused to live in and a letter from a man who’d chosen darkness so I could have light.
I sank onto the bed, my hands trembling as I picked up the letter again. Read his words for the hundredth time. Traced the loops and curves of his handwriting with my fingertip.
I’m willing to sacrifice everything.
“So am I,” I whispered to the empty room. “So am I.”
I didn’t know what came next. Didn’t know how to reach him, how to help him, how to make him understand that his sacrifice wasn’t what I wanted.
That I’d rather have him, flawed and dangerous and trapped in a world of violence, than have safety without him.
I’d rather face the threats together, side by side, than spend another day in this hollow, aching emptiness that his absence had carved into my chest.
The truth was simple, even if he couldn’t see it: safety meant nothing if it came at the cost of losing him.
What good was a protected life if every moment of it was spent wondering where he was, what he was doing, whether he was okay?
I’d take danger with him over security without him any day of the week.
But I’d figure it out. Somehow, some way, I’d find a path forward. I’d find a way to reach him through whatever walls he’d built around himself. I’d make him see that we were stronger together than we could ever be apart.
Because Gunner was right about one thing: I was stubborn. Stubborn enough to fight for what I wanted. Stubborn enough to refuse to give up, even when giving up was the smart thing to do. Stubborn enough to keep pushing forward when every logical voice in my head told me to let go and move on.
Stubborn enough to love a man who’d walked into Hell and believe I could find a way to bring him back. To believe that love could be a lifeline strong enough to pull someone out of the darkness, even when that darkness was of their own making.