Chapter 24
Zero
“And so did I…” Thaddeus smugly states during our approach from the opposite end of the ship from his sister. “It was quite the spectacle.”
The two men flanking his sibling shift their weapons to us prompting the pair of security members at his side to train their guns onto their counter parts rather than his twin.
Man…I gotta confess…I don’t really like guns.
Not even water guns.
They’re just not my preferred weapon of choice.
You know.
If I had a weapon of choice that wasn’t a keyboard attached to an incredible network connection.
“Thaddy,” sneers Temperance, appearance a bit difficult to see around the bodies blocking me from being in view.
“Tempy.”
Kinda feels like baby would’ve been a useful tool when picking theirs out.
I mean I’m assuming.
I’ve never personally been there.
Never needed to.
Never figured I would need to.
Or want to.
At least…not before Salay.
Not before she hacked into our lives and rewrote our code.
Changed our program.
Upgraded us.
Fuck.
Upgraded us to an us.
And that upgrade is the reason why I’m doing what I’m doing.
Even if it results in crashing the very system we’ve created.
“Have you mistakenly wandered onto the wrong yacht?” mocks Temperance alongside folding her hands together in front of her. “This one is not filled with Disco Crumpets or barely legal topless gemstones for you to be plastered across soc’ snogging.”
“No, however, it does contain the woman who holds the decoded riddles, which is the other half of what is needed to have me crowned king.”
“No,” Temperance instantly declines, “she possesses the coordinates, not the decoded riddles.”
“No,” Thad swiftly rebuts, “she possesses the riddles and Zero possesses the coordinates.”
“Why would she possess the decoded riddles?”
“Because she was the one who decoded them.”
That was more of a group project but now doesn’t seem like a good moment to interject.
“No,” his sister exasperatedly snips, “she was the one who led Zero to the actual coordinates, which only she knows since that Code Monkey cannot even read a bloody map without Google Assistance.”
Ouch.
And pretty fucking untrue.
“Flotation tits over here,” Temperance thoughtlessly demeans, head tipping towards Salay, “is the lead on the exact location of the treasure she found underwater while Sir Strokes a lot – wherever he is – holds the cracked riddles as well as the physical proof needed to claim the throne.”
“Stabbing you would be a wonderful bon voyage gift to myself,” Salay viciously proclaims.
“They’d put two in you before you could lift your unmanicured fingers,” Temperance emotionlessly announces.
“Worth it.”
“No,” Garcia quickly refutes. “It wouldn’t be.”
“She doesn’t hold the physical proof,” Thad informs during our slow continued approach. “He does.”
“Jimmy Buffet’s housekeeper?” She ponders in obvious surprise. “You actually believe this irresponsible law practicing creatin is the one holding onto valuable, ancient treasure?”
“Eso fue racista,” grunts the man I hope can forgive me for what I’ve done to save them.
“Bit racist, yeah, but what do you expect from someone who’s probably never had to literally wipe her own ass,” our water princess casually states.
“How about this?” Thad cheekily chimes. “How about we simply ask the man who was originally assigned the task for all the answers rather than wasting additional breath about how wrong you are?” Another word isn’t said prior to him stepping to the side and waving an open palm in my direction. “Mr. Fiorenzo.”
“Zero,” Garcia airily croaks out in both relief and worry. “You’re still alive.”
There isn’t time to open my mouth before Temperance states, “He is, but you won’t be it seems.” Her displeased glare is attached to the whirl of her lifted, pointed finger, an action that has the gunmen repositioning the weapons to be aimed at their foreheads.
“I’d like to say I’m surprised; however, I am not.
” Each man roughly grabs one of my partners.
“I have found relying on men to be quite predictably disappointing.”
Again.
Ouch.
“It is such a shame you value your life more than theirs.”
“I don’t,” escapes without reluctance.
The corner of her lip kicks upward in premature victory leading her brother to gripe, “You forced me here to allow you to say your permanent goodbye then?”
“I didn’t,” leaves my lips at the same pace.
“What exactly is your move, Mr. Fiorenzo?” Temperance huffs, arms folding firmly across her chest. “Because my patience is growing ridiculously thin for you as much as my dear brother.”
“And my tolerance for you as much as my cunt sister is also growing paper slim.”
“And I am thankful that I’m an only child,” a female voice I was expecting suddenly interjects, although much later than I was anticipating.
I guess I should’ve factored in the time the twins would waste going at each other like they were.
Learned that shit from Garcia and his sister.
They basically act like otters.
Squabble.
Verbally wrestle.
Eventually squash the shit and share a glass of wine.
Not that otters drink wine.
Or any alcohol.
But I bet if they did it’d be rum.
They just feel like a rum type of species.
“Who the bloody hell are you?” loudly scoffs Temperance from across the deck. “And how the bloody hell did you get onto my ship?”
“Tone.” Ravencroft disapprovingly points in her direction resulting in the male holding Salay hostage to abandon his hold and roughly grab her arm instead.
“Volume.” The other man repeats the action to the opposite appendage.
“Delivery.” Both of the men at Thad’s side fixate their gun on Temperance’s face as well. “I don’t like any of it.”
“Who-”
One single shake of her head has the guard to her left wedging the barrel of his baretta into her cheek at the same time Ravencroft commands, “Sh.”
“I do not know who you are,” Thad boldly states during his turning to face her, “but I do love your attitude.”
He won’t for long.
“I’m-”
“Prince Thaddeus Ernest Weslington – Ernest being that from Ernest Hemmingway who your father was a very large fan of, which is why your sister Temperance’s middle name is Mary, after his wife.”
“Impressive,” he purrs and turns his palm upward. “And correct.”
“He is such a huge fan,” she carefully places her hand in his, allowing him to plant his lips on the back of it, “that he secretly used to dress up as him on the man’s birthday to honor him since he couldn’t join the celebrations out of Florida,” his hold vanishes post the slobbering, “and had your mother – whose mysterious death is much less so when you’re familiar with natural poisons like myself – along with his mistresses – and later his pay to play pieces – use a butt plug on him that released small jolts to provide an ‘electroshock therapy’ experience further connecting him to his obsession; albeit shorter than he likely anticipated considering how quickly a little buzz up the ass made him come. ”
Disgust and curiosity amalgamate in his expression. “How exactly do you know that?”
“Desearás no haber preguntado eso,” mutters Garcia loud enough to tempt me into smirking.
He certainly wished he hadn’t asked that when he first met her.
That he would’ve just heeded my warning.
Respected the hierarchy.
That same hierarchy the Weslington family has mistakenly believed they are at the top of for far too long.
“I know about everyone and everything that crosses my territory, solo prince of Hoalkey, who is second to inherit the throne by birthright yet first if he manages to fulfill his father’s seemingly foolish treasure hunt, the same treasure that has his twin sister,” a small finger wave is delivered to the woman being held at gunpoint, “spending an outrageous amount of cash not only to prevent him from completing the expedition, but actively damaging my things.”
All of a sudden, Thad begins lightly touching his lips. “Mlipsargtingly.”
“And I do not take kindly to people damaging my things…” she coldly continues.
“Bbbbrrrnnn,” he croaks out, frame beginning to sway.
“I also do not take kindly to people playing where they do not have permission to play.”
He stumbles towards the railing taking everyone’s attention with him.
“And I especially do not take kindly to people trying to take from me that which is not theirs to take, Weslington.”
His mouth tumbles open in desperation to relieve the agony.
Gasp for air.
“You did not ask to play in my waters. Zero did.”
“Very politely too, my guy,” I interject in a low volume.
“You did not ask to play with my toys, which Zero is.”
Not my favorite label, but I won’t be verbalizing that.
“And most importantly, you did not ask could you take it home to destroy.”
Thad frantically begins clutching at his throat.
“You also did not ask to kiss my hand, Weslington…” The appendage is lifted to display.
“You merely assumed I wouldn’t mind, much like you did when it came to being in my waters and threatening a valued member of our syndicate.
” Her head angles to one side as he begins pounding on the nearby railing, anxious for aid.
“The punishment for all the crimes you have committed is death.” Ravencroft uses the other hand to gently peel off a coating from the one she’s holding up. “The kiss of death to be exact.”
“Youpoisonedhim?!” his twin croaks out in spite of the barrel wedged against her face.
“He poisoned himself,” corrects the only woman I knew who had more power than the two of them, while continuing to remove the coating.
“Manners maketh man.” Post her finishing, she steps towards his seizing body, gives it one solid push to send it over the edge, and discards whatever coating she had on both hands over his body.
“Gibbons.” One of the men who had escorted Thaddeus onto the ship holsters his gun. “Chum.”
“Yes, Madam,” is all he states before rushing away.