Chapter 22 #2
“I am very sorry that he suffered,” Grafton said, hanging his head humbly.
“You are sorry?” Silas snorted. “Sorry doesn’t make up for it. Not even a dukedom could make up for it. Giovanni knows that.”
Giovanni and Silas looked at one another, and Giovanni felt a golden thread of understanding flow between them.
They were once again two young men, thrust out into the world too young and forced to make their own way, without accounting for their youth, fears, or pain.
No amount of money, no title, or status could make that right.
Their loss of childhood would always be there.
It was something they shared and would always share.
“I know it cannot.” Grafton looked at Giovanni sadly. “But I shall bestow your title upon you anyway, and even if you never speak to me again or learn to love me as I love you…” Grafton swallowed heavily.
Giovanni’s heart clenched at his words and he saw Beatrice’s hands still above his eyes.
He looked up. He knew she was noticing his emotion.
God, how he loved her. He was so grateful to have her by his side.
He looked into her eyes, drawing strength from the deep pools of darkness and blue, until Grafton had recovered his voice to continue speaking.
“You shall still be the next Duke of Grafton upon my death. You are my son, no matter what happens between us, and I want to thank you, Mr. Klane, for protecting my boy all of these years.”
Giovanni watched in shock as Grafton stood before Silas, offering him his hand in gratitude. Silas stared up at him in surprise, mouth open, until Anna nudged him gently and he stood up, grasping Grafton’s hand tightly.
“You were there for my son when no one was, and he has been family to you in all but name, though it seems like that will not last for long.” Grafton looked between Giovanni and Beatrice, smiling tenderly, before turning back to Silas, who had been unable to move.
“I imagine soon that you will truly become a brother to my son, and though I am envious of your connection and love, I am also beyond grateful for it. Thank you, from the bottom of my heart, Mr. Klane.”
Silas closed his open mouth, nodding slowly. He swallowed hard and then stepped back from Grafton, coughing lightly.
“You are welcome, your grace,” Silas said. “But in truth, it was no hardship.”
Giovanni stared at his friend, feeling the truth in his words. No matter what Silas had said in anger, it couldn’t erase the love and support he had given Giovanni over the years. Nothing could.
“I came today to deliver these,” Grafton held up the letters.
“They are my letters to your mother, and I had hoped they might help convince you...” Grafton’s voice trailed away.
Giovanni watched him compassionately. No matter how confused he felt about all of this, it was clear that Grafton was a good man.
“Thank you,” Giovanni said, nodding for Beatrice to take the letters from him.
“We shall take very good care of them, your grace,” Beatrice said. Grafton handed them over, smiling at her gratefully.
“Thank you, I hope they shed some light on...all of this.” Grafton waved at the air between Giovanni and himself. “I know that I might seem a little desperate, showing up like this, but if you only knew how earnestly I have loved you, for how long?—”
“I know,” Giovanni interrupted. He looked at Beatrice, squeezing her hand. He knew how it felt to love someone from afar. He thought of his mother. He also knew what it felt like to miss someone you had never known.
“I hope that one day you will come to visit Grafton House to see the estate that will one day be yours.” Grafton smiled down at Beatrice as if he already knew that she would be Giovanni’s wife.
The thought of that grand house one day being his made Giovanni’s heart race with nervousness.
He looked up at Grafton’s hopeful face and then down to Beatrice’s hand, still tenderly holding his own.
He was hoping that Silas would be able to forgive him for following his heart.
He had asked Beatrice to forgive him for his indecision.
Was it too much for him to forgive this man who so desperately wanted to be forgiven?
“I will happily read them,” Giovanni said slowly. “And... I should like to come to town and meet with you, if you are amenable.”
“Perhaps Silas can accompany you?” Beatrice suggested quietly. “You shall all have much to talk about, stories to share from the past.”
Giovanni squeezed his love’s hand thankfully.
Despite everything they were all going through, she knew that sitting and talking with his father would be hard for him.
It would be made easier if his oldest friend was with him.
Perhaps she also knew Silas would want to be there, too.
Giovanni looked at Silas with a raised eyebrow.
Silas nodded curtly. Grafton smiled tremulously, nodding happily.
Giovanni knew he had made the right decision.
The lightness in his chest when he looked at the joy on the duke’s face was evidence enough.
“I am more than amenable, my dear Giovanni.” He stood up, bowing graciously to Beatrice and Anna. “I shall take my leave of you now,” Grafton said, looking down on Giovanni, who shifted himself into a seated position with Beatrice’s help.
“Thank you for caring for me, even after so many years.” Giovanni swallowed hard.
“I could do nothing less. I look forward to our meeting in town.” Grafton smiled tremulously. “I hope you shall both come and visit when you are…ready.”
Grafton smiled down at Beatrice, and Giovanni could already tell that he was besotted with Giovanni’s soon-to-be-wife.
There was something about it, watching his father smile at the love of his life with such paternal care, as if he would enjoy watching her marry his son and bear his grandchildren, whom he would one day take great delight in.
It was enough to crack open a tiny opening in Giovanni’s heart.
Shakily, he stood up, Beatrice at his side.
“It shall be our pleasure,” he said softly, not hesitating to speak for Beatrice, feeling her nodding beside him, “Thaddeus.”
Thaddeus broke into a broad smile, grinning between Giovanni and Beatrice.
“Thank you, Giovanni.” He looked down at Beatrice. “Thank you, Miss Klane.”
“Please, call me Beatrice.” Beatrice took hold of Thaddeus’s arm in a daughterly way. “Let me show you out, Your Grace.”
“I shall come with you,” Anna said, smiling as she followed Beatrice and Thaddeus, leaving Giovanni and Silas alone. Wincing, Giovanni sat down, feeling a bruise coming on the side of his jaw. Silas stood, looking down at him appraisingly. Giovanni knew this was the moment of truth.
“You should put some ice on your eye,” Silas said wryly. “It’s going to bruise.”
“Do you think?” Giovanni responded sarcastically. “Much like the rest of me. You’ve got some power in that right hook.”
“Well,” Silas shrugged modestly, but Giovanni saw a flicker of humor behind his eyes, “if you had decided to hit me, it would have been a fairer fight.”
“You wanted me to hit you?” Giovanni raised his eyebrow at him.
“It would make me feel a little better about…all of this.” Silas winced and gestured at Giovanni’s body.
“If it makes you feel better, I would take worse beatings for her,” Giovanni chuckled, rubbing his chin.
“She seems to reward you for it,” Silas said drily. “She is besotted.”
“I would do it even if she did not love me.” Giovanni looked up at his oldest friend sincerely, daring himself to hold his gaze for as long as possible.
“I’m in earnest, Silas. Even if she told me tomorrow that she does not love me, even if she left me at the altar and went to marry Milton, I would still be loyal.
I would keep her secrets, I would protect her.
I would die for her. My heart belongs to her. Entirely.”
Giovanni took a deep breath, trying to control his own emotions. He had a lump in his throat just thinking about it, but he needed to speak the truth and speak it clearly.
“I have loved her for a long time. We have always been best friends and then, when she became a woman and came out in society, it blossomed into something else. I tried to stay away, Silas, I swear to God, I did. But then the night of that ball when she met Milton, we kissed and then…” Giovanni sighed, rubbing his sore face.
“I’m sorry, Silas. I was afraid to tell you. ”
“Because of how I would react?” Silas snorted. “Your fear might have been justified.”
“Not just that.” Giovanni looked up at his friend bleakly.
“You said that not even a prince would be good enough for Beatrice, and I am very much not a prince. Not even having a duke as a father can erase the things I’ve done in my past—you know that better than anyone.
I was afraid I could never be good enough, and I don’t think I could have stood to hear it from you, Silas.
” Giovanni blinked, looking down at his hands.
“I couldn’t stand to hear you telling me I wasn’t good enough. ”
“Christ, Gio.” Silas sighed, running his fingers through his hair. “I would never say that.”
“You said a lot when you were angry,” Giovanni admitted.
“I know,” Silas conceded, looking a little ashamed. “I didn’t mean it. I was angry because you kept it from me, Gio. Sneaking around like that…can you really be surprised that I saw red, seeing you in bed with my sister? You’re like a brother to me! It was disturbing, to say the least.”
“I can imagine,” Giovanni chuckled. “I wouldn’t like to see you naked either.”
“Exactly,” Silas grumbled. “I’ll be having nightmares for weeks.”
The two of them laughed together, letting easy silence fall between them. For the first time since Silas had stormed into Beatrice’s bedroom that morning, Giovanni felt relieved.
“I want to marry her, Silas,” Giovanni said humbly. “I am asking for your permission to propose.”