Chapter 10
I left them to get dressed, then they met me in Connor’s room.
I was sitting on the bed playing with a frayed piece of cotton on a rip in my jeans.
Warren could barely look at me as he shut and locked the door, but Connor seemed as cheerful as ever, like I hadn’t just caught my brother fucking him.
Not that I cared if that was what they both wanted.
It was just a shock. Warren was a notorious ladies’ man, though now I came to think of it. He hadn’t been with a lot of girls in high school, and he didn’t get with the club girls. It was common knowledge Warren usually went to women away from the club. Now I was wondering if that was just a cover.
They were good friends, always been as close as brothers, but neither of them had ever given any sign there was more to their relationship.
“You can’t tell anyone,” Warren said.
“I won’t,” I promised, but I caught the irritated look on Connor’s face before he went to the window and looked out, keeping his back to us.
“I mean, I was shocked because,” I waved a hand at him.
“I saw all that and you’re my brother, so gross,” I tried to laugh.
“Whatever you want to do is your business. I don’t think there’s anything wrong with it. ”
“It wouldn’t go down well with the club,” Warren looked at me.
I was surprised at the depth of emotion in his eyes.
This meant something to Warren. I saw his relationship with Connor in a whole different light.
It nearly killed him and Hudson after what happened with Connor.
Rosa told me that much, but if their relationship was on this whole other level, then the pain he must be feeling had to be unbearable.
“Not as well as I can go down, that’s for sure.”
“Connor,” Warren shut his eyes and pinched the bridge of his nose. “You’re not helping.”
We were all quiet for a minute.
“How long has it… I mean, are you guys like a couple?”
Warren huffed out a laugh. “In this club, come on Wave, you know we’re not a couple.”
“Well, excuse me for thinking this meant something.”
“Connor, that is not what I mean.”
“Yeah, right,” he stormed out of the room, slamming the door.
“Shit,” Warren looked at the door, then the floor, then back at me.
“I’m so sorry. I should have knocked.”
“We should have locked the door,” Warren ran a hand through his hair. “Jesus, we shouldn’t have even been doing anything here. It’s too risky, but he was upset, and I was comforting him, and one thing led to… well, you know. I thought the door was locked,” he repeated.
“Will he be okay? Do you need to go after him?”
“It’s best if he calms down first. He’ll be okay.”
“I don’t know Warren, he looked pretty upset.”
He nodded. “He’s not the same, Wave,” he whispered.
“You must have seen that yesterday. His mood swings and how erratic he can be. But we’ve kept this a secret.
Can you imagine if dad found out? Hell, any of these guys.
I know some of them wouldn’t care, but it’s just not done in the club.
I’m the VP. I’d lose everything if it got out.
Connor will be good. Don’t worry, he’ll get distracted. ”
I was horrified for them, but he didn’t need me getting all indignant about this stupid club rule.
“He won’t…accidentally tell anyone though, right?”
Warren sat down on the bed and stared at his feet. “No, that side of his thought process isn’t messed up. He knows right from wrong, and he knows that this has to be kept between us. Con can’t control his impulses and has outbursts.
“He’ll feel guilty for making us both feel bad. We’ve lived with the secrecy for a long time. It gets hard at times, pretending, putting on a show with women, but…”
“So you’re like fully…?”
“Gay?” he raised a brow.
“Well yeah, but. You could be bi, you know?”
He smiled sadly. “I don’t mind women, been with plenty, but they’re not Con, he’s it for me. We fought it for a long time. It was only after you were gone we realized it was more than physical.”
“You love him?” I whisper.
“Of course I do,” he said without hesitation. There was genuine emotion behind his words.
“Oh Warren,” I grabbed his hand and squeezed tight.
“Sometimes I wish,” he looked over at the window. “I wish I’d been brave enough to leave with you,” he breathed.
“I wish you had too,” I said, laying my head on his shoulder.
I hate seeing my brother in so much pain. He came across so strong and alpha male, but that isn’t who he is. It didn’t matter how much they wanted it, nothing short of leaving the MC would allow them to be together.
Warren would never do that. He was too loyal to our father and the club.
He had chosen it over me. My heart hurt all over again for Connor.
He could no longer be an active member in the MC.
Riding his bike was taken from him. His mind wasn’t his own anymore and the person he was in love with had to deny him.
“Is there anything I can do?” I asked, but it felt like an empty gesture.
“You being here is enough, even if it is only for a little while. Knowing you don’t hate us helps. But fuck Waverley, from now on, knock on the damn door.”
“Oh believe me, I will!” I laughed. “And I don’t hate you. How could I when I know you love each other… He loves you back, right? I mean, you are annoying.” That at least got a laugh out of him. “Does anyone know?”
“Hud, we didn’t want to lie to him. He covers for us.” I raised my brows. “Don’t think badly about him, Wave. He might be an asshole, but he would do anything to keep us safe. All of us,” he adds pointedly. “God, this is a mess, huh?”
“Love often is.”
Warren looked at me. “If it’s any consolation, Hud was wrecked after you were gone.”
“Don’t,” I told him. “I don’t care about that. It’s water under the bridge. I have someone else, and I’m happy now.”
“Are you though? Happy?”
“Of course I am.”
My brother stared into my eyes. “You love him?” He echoed my earlier question to him.
I was the first to blink and look away. “It’s okay,” he said.
“I could see you really like him. But if you’ve been together that long and still don’t feel it…
Just saying. Sometimes we can’t control who we give our hearts to. ”
“Who are you, and what have you done with my brother?” I asked, only joking a little. This did not sound like my brother. But thinking back on it, he had never had any problems with the relationships that happened around the MC.
Connor had been fine with my blossoming relationship with Hudson. Warren hadn’t taken it well when he found out we’d been sneaking around behind his back.
Of course he punched Hudson a few times, gave him the whole he’d kill him if he hurt me story, then he let it go, as long as we didn’t get overly affectionate in front of him. He never tried to force us apart.
“I guess some of that emotional sappy shit you and Con were always spewing rubbed off on me.”
A knock at the door startled us. I got up to find Hudson in the doorway. He looked past me to Warren. “I just saw Connor. He told me to come speak to you. What happened?” Hudson looked at me suspiciously, then back to Warren, who had dropped his head into his hands.
“Wave knows,” he told Hudson.
“Knows what?”
“What do you think?” Warren looks up.
I crossed my arms and looked up at Hudson as his eyes came back to me. They were hard and threatening. He opened his mouth to speak, but Warren interrupted him.
“Stand down, Hud, Wave won’t say anything.”
“You don’t know that.” He said it to my brother, but he was looking right at me.
“For Christ’s sake, will you stop with this holier than thou fucking attitude?” I snapped at him. “I’m here for as long as my father sees fit. Deal with it. And deal with the fact that my friend and my brother will want to talk to me even if you don’t. Get the hell over yourself, Hudson Kelley.”
He looked as if his head were about to explode. Warren got between us, putting a hand on Hudson’s chest. “I don’t need this shit right now. Where did Connor go? He seem okay?”
Hudson let out a heavy breath. “No, he didn’t seem ok. Why do you think I came looking for you? What happened?”
Warren rubbed the back of his neck, then kicked the door closed, which had still been open. “I said we weren’t a couple, that we never could be, explaining stuff to Wave. He took it the wrong way.”
Another death glare my way, like this was my fault.
“He was headed for the hot tub with Smokey and Jolene.” Hudson relented. For how long was anyone’s guess, but I was so over it.
“Great,” Warren sighed.
“He’ll be fine with them. But we got a lead. We need to go,” Hudson said.
Warren dropped his head, his hands lodged on his hips, gathering himself and shaking off everything that happened so he could be what the club expected of him.
I leaned into him and kissed his cheek. “I’ll go to Connor,” I told him softly. “Maybe we can go get coffee in town.”
Warren laughed at me. There was no way in hell either me or Connor would leave to get a coffee and Warren would make sure of that just as much as King would.
“Take him down to the lake. It calms him,” he eventually said as he walked back to his room, kindly leaving me facing Hudson.
“You need to keep your mouth shut.” Hudson leaned down so his face was a few inches away from me. “No telling Rosa, no blabbing to your friend back home,” he sneered at the word friend. “If this gets out, I will know where it came from.”
“We might have our issues, Hudson, but I would never sell out my brother.”
He didn’t move back right away, and my core clenched at his nearness. I could feel the heat from how close his body was to me, and I used everything I had not to look affected by that. He stared into my eyes, searching for the truth. After a few seconds, he believed me and straightened up.