Chapter 18 #3
It wasn’t a large house by any means but the rooms it had were spacious enough and once it was complete and furnished, it was going to be an amazing home. Not one I would have ever imagined Hudson Kelley living in.
“War considered getting a place down here too, but he decided it was too risky. He prefers having a place off compound. It’s Connor’s place, but he spends a lot of his time there.”
“That sucks,” I said turning back to face him.
“It is what it is,” he shrugged.
“Would it be that bad, if they let people know?”
“I don’t know, Wave,” he said, heading to look out of the windows. “I want to say it wouldn’t be, people know them well enough to know being gay doesn’t change who they are or what they do for the club, and I hate to think there are any bigots here.
“It’s not something they’ve had to consider before and there is no way of knowing how people will react. There are a lot of old timers, a different generation, with different ways of looking at things.”
“Would dad kick them out? Connor is like a son to him too.”
“If there are enough people who aren’t happy with it, King would feel the pressure.”
“He’s the President,” I furrowed my brow, letting a little of the indignant anger seep out. “And Warren is his son, his VP. He wouldn’t let anyone tell him what to do.”
Hudson held up his hands. “I ain’t the one you need to get pissed at,” he defended. “I support them, I always will. I’d be right there by their side if they needed me. War doesn’t want to say anything. It’s his secret to tell if he wants to tell it.”
I blew out a heavy breath. He was right. It was up to Warren and Connor. I’d only been here a short while though and already I could see how hard it was wearing on them both.
“If Connor was a woman, it’d be just as tough for them, differently granted, but with him being the VP, Con would always be on the outside,” Hudson said, as if he could read my mind.
“Are you calling Connor an old lady?” I asked with a short laugh.
“Kinda,” he agreed with a grin. “But I’ll deny it if you tell him.”
I stood beside him and looked out of the window. It was a gorgeous day, and the yard got a lot of light. It was private, nothing overlooking the space. I could see why Hudson had picked this plot.
“Is he going to be okay?” I asked quietly.
Hudson didn’t need to ask about whom I was talking.
“He’s never going to be the same. I know that much.
Something in here,” he tapped the side of his head.
“It got messed up. I don’t understand the medical terms or how the brain functions, but it can’t be fixed.
We have to learn to handle him the best we can. ”
“Handle him,” I said sadly. I’d seen his mood swings and irrational outbursts already. At times, it was like he was a child with the way he was behaving, but in a frustrated adult body. I could see the exasperation in him every time something happened.
“I’m used to it,” he said with sadness. “War, more so. He knows how to bring him back. I’m just worried that…”
“That what?” I turned to him and looked up. He tilted his head, so he was looking down at me. Even at my height and with the heels lifting me a couple more inches, he still had to look down.
“If something happens when we’re not there, the others don’t realize the extent of his brain damage.
They don’t want to because that is not how they think or behave.
It’s a brotherhood for sure, they’d do anything for each other, protect each other without question.
When it comes to something like that, they’d just see him throwing a tantrum, acting out.
Hell, he’d get into fights without a second thought, and they’d go for it too because they don’t understand. ”
“Is it safe for him to be here?” I asked anxiously.
“We’re always with him at parties and Rosa looks out for him the rest of the time.”
“You should make the second room here for them. So they have somewhere to go.”
“You want me to open up my new place to them like a sordid fuck pad? So I can lie in bed listening to my two best friends fucking in the next room. Yeah, that isn’t in my plans,” he said dryly.
“Would it bother you if it was a girl?” I challenged.
“Yes. The whole point of this place is to get away from that. I wanna watch or hear people fucking, I’ll stay up there.”
I scrunched up my nose. “Fair point,” I mumbled, and he laughed at my discomfort. “I just don’t want them to be unhappy.”
“Most of the time, they’re fine. They’re happy with Connor’s place. They have all the privacy they need without worrying about being seen. Stop worrying about them. They’ve been together for years. They’re good.
“Although, with all the stress going on right now, and War being pulled into his officer duties, Con is getting frustrated. You’re here now, he’s got you too.”
I folded my arms around me as I stared up at him. Both thinking, for how long, but neither of us wanted to say it. The worrying thing was, right now, I wasn’t sure what my plans were. I had every intention of going back home once this was over, but what did I have to go home to?
Declan was a major part of my plans. My partner, both in business and relationship wise.
How could we go back to that after what he did?
As much as I loved running the bar, it wasn’t what I wanted to do with my life.
I had a few friends, but none that were so close I missed them, or anyone who even bothered to stay connected, even to check in.
I didn’t like this feeling, of not knowing where I belonged.
My future had never been this uncertain before.
It didn’t help to know Hudson had this place in his future.
Yes, it was still on the compound, and he was still a part of an MC, but he had this to come home to.
This was what he wanted and where he wanted to be.
I’d always thought Warren, Connor and Hudson had no ambition, no desire to do anything to make their lives better when, in reality, they had everything.
Yeah, things for Connor changed, and their relationship was a secret, but Hudson was right, they were all happy. I’d witnessed them in good and tough times in the short space I’d been here and not once had they given any sign they weren’t where they wanted to be.
“Hey,” Hudson interrupted my troubling thoughts. “You want to see the rest of the place, the other houses?” he looked about as happy to show me around as I did about seeing the rest.
I’d lost all interest. But even more annoyingly, I didn’t know what I wanted to do, or where to go.
I didn’t want to go back to the clubhouse and cook for everyone.
I didn’t want to go back to my room in the house where my phone and Declan waited for me.
Even the thing with Andrew was in other people’s hands now.
“What’s wrong with you?”
“Nothing,” I shook myself. “Yeah, let’s just go,” I walked around him.
Hudson grabbed my arm and stopped me. “What’s wrong? And don’t tell me nothing,” he said with a scowl. “Something just happened in there,” he indicated my head.
How was I supposed to tell him I felt like I’d made all the wrong choices? That my well thought out plan had gone to shit and after five years away. Telling myself I was doing what I wanted, with shit all to show for it. Or the boyfriend I had rubbed in his face had cheated on me last night?
“Let’s just go,” I snapped and pulled my arm from his grasp. “You didn’t even want to bring me down here, anyway.”
“Fucking typical,” he said.
“What?” I spun back on him.
“I bring you down here cos you want to see it. I showed you this place. My place. I could have pretended this was just another house here, but it’s not.
It’s mine. Something I have worked for and earned for myself.
But it doesn’t matter to you. Because you’ll be gone soon, and this is just another empty house in the MC you don’t give a shit about.
“You can’t even bring yourself to say anything decent about it. You came, you saw, you turn up your nose and then want to leave. You don’t even care that this place is…”
I had a lot of shit I wanted to say to him about that little outburst, but I got stuck on whatever it was he was holding back.
“This place is what?” I asked. He looked so damn angry. What the hell?
“Forget it,” he stormed past me, heading for the door.
“No,” this time I grabbed his arm. “I won’t forget it.
You don’t get to say all that shit to me and not let me defend myself.
I don’t think this is just another empty house.
I don’t think this isn’t something amazing that you have made for yourself.
I’m not turning my nose up at anything, Hudson Kelley. ”
My voice grew louder.
“It’s fucking amazing that you have this house. That you have your club and your family and friends and everything you ever dreamed of is right here. Why wouldn’t I be happy for you? Because my life is turning to shit? Because I’m stuck here and what I had back there is fucking ruined?”
“Oh, here we go, you’re stuck here against your will. It’s so fucking tragic. Wait,” he stopped mid tirade. “What? What’s ruined?”
“Everything,” I yelled. “My job, I’m a glorified fucking bar tender. I rent my place in a fucking apartment complex, it isn’t a home. And my boyfriend…” I pressed the back of my hand over my mouth. Jesus, what am I doing? Ranting and raving at him like this. I had to get out of here.
“What about your boyfriend?”
“Nothing.”
“What did he do?”
“Nothing.”
“For fucks sake, Waverley. Stop acting like a spoilt brat.”
If I were a more girly girl, who hadn’t grown up with a bunch of wild bikers, I’d have slapped his face.
But I wasn’t, so that wasn’t what I did.
Instead I punched him in the stomach. I widened my eyes when I looked at him.
Shit, I hadn’t meant to do that, I wasn’t an emotional outburst kind of person, and I didn’t go around hitting people, but he pushed me too far.
And then he laughed. The fucker laughed. I put both hands on his pecs and pushed. But he didn’t move. Not even an inch.
“What about your boyfriend, Waverley?”
He stepped up to me, leaning down so his mouth was by my ear, his breath warm against the skin on the back of my neck. He took two steps, and I instinctively stepped back, but he stayed with me until my back bumped against the wall.
“Tell me,” he said. “Because if he hurt you, I will fuck him up.”
I kept my head straight, level with his collarbone but raised my eyes so I was looking at him through my lashes.
Slowly, his hand came up, his fingers gripped my chin, and he tilted my head.
My heart was thrashing around in my chest, trying to break free.
I should do that too, push him back, get him out of my space.
He was too much, too much of his scent surrounding me.
And the way he stared at me, there wasn’t so much anger now, no, his eyes were saying something different.
I shouldn’t tell him. He’d only gloat about it.
Was it hot in here? Of course it is, the sun is shining in and there are no open windows, no air conditioning.
Hudson raised his other hand and both of them came around to cup by cheeks, his forefingers tapping my temples. “What is going on inside there?” he said in a deep voice. “Why don’t you want to tell me the truth? You scared?”
“Fuck you.”
“Oh, believe me Waverley, I’ve thought about nothing other than fucking you since the moment I saw you in that bar.”
My mouth dropped open. I might have stopped breathing.
“What are you doing?” I asked, my voice was breathy and lacked any genuine conviction.
My brain scrambled at his words, couple that with how he pressed against me, his hands still around my face, his fingers moving under my hair at the nape and gently stroking.
His face was so intense, I felt like I was about to collapse, and he’d need to hold me up.
“Trouble in paradise?” he asked.
“No,” I mumbled. He arched a brow.
“Tell me,” he lowered his head, his lips were right next to mine. “Tell me we can’t do this.”
I intended on telling him just that, I really did, but that wasn’t what came out of my mouth.
“We broke up.”
“Thank fuck for that.”
His lips crashed into mine.