Chapter Sixteen #2
“So, you know the truth?” Rosa asked after she’d questioned me about whether I truly was okay. “About Delaney.”
“How did you…?” I trailed off. I hadn’t mentioned what dad told us on our call before.
“I called Randy to let him know you had all arrived safe.”
“Oh, good, thanks.”
“Fuck me am I glad you know. She didn’t deserve to be forgotten.”
“I don’t think dad ever forgot her,” I answered softly.
“No,” Rosa patted my arm. “He didn’t. But we can talk about that another time.
Connor’s been in and out, still groggy and in some pain but he’s doing good.
He’ll be thrilled to see you sweetheart.
We didn’t tell him what happened, told him you hadn’t been hurt that night. He thinks you’re still on lockdown.”
“I’m going to go get coffee, anyone want anything?”
I looked up at Warren in surprise as he passed by where we sat.
“What?” he shrugged. “We all know he’ll want to see you first. I’ve already seen him, just go. I’ll go in after. If you want anything tell me now.”
Goldie and Jolene made their requests, Rosa tapped her lips with her finger as she eyed my brother.
At least I wasn’t the only one who thought it was strange he didn’t want to go in first to see Connor, although as far as we were all aware, Rosa didn’t know about them.
I was beginning to suspect she might do though.
Before I could question it further, a nurse approached asking if I was next to see him. I jumped up, the coffee forgotten. Hudson squeezed my hand as I passed, and I gave him a small smile.
The corridor leading to Connor’s room smelt like antiseptic and death and I was relieved when we finally got to his room. The nurse let me in with a gentle smile, reminding me he may be tired and not to cause him any undue stress, which I bristled a little at. What did she think I was going to do?
The room had the blinds drawn halfway closed over the windows and the lights were dim. His eyes were closed and for a heart stopping moment, I had a flashback to him lying in a pool of blood on the kitchen floor as I finally succumbed to the drug Lily injected into me.
Approaching the bed slowly, I took in all the wires and tubes around him, the needles in and out of his arms. My heart almost broke.
“Hey Wave,” his eyes had opened while I was staring at the monitors beside him. “You’ve come to see me on my death bed.”
“Death bed?” I half shrieked. “Stop saying things like that, Connor. You’re going to be fine.”
“Yeah, fine…” he stared at me in silence, and I just returned his gaze. “You okay kid? I know they never told me everything, for my own good, cos everyone always knows what’s best for me.”
“I’m fine, honestly. I’m more worried about you.”
“Swear it?” he held out his thumb, side on.
I kept my face as neutral as possible. Connor and I had always said this to one another when we were kids.
Connor spent the majority of his childhood in foster homes and found it really hard to trust. I’d come up with the idea of locking thumbs and saying ‘swear it’ when I really meant every word I said and wasn’t lying to him.
I reached out my hand, but it was hesitant enough for him to notice.
“Don’t worry about it, Curtsey,” he let his hand fall. “I’m used to being kept in the dark.”
“It isn’t that,” I stepped closer and took the hand he’d dropped, even though I didn’t lock his thumb with mine, I clutched his fingers tightly. “You have enough to worry about and getting yourself better.”
He nodded his head, a smile on his lips but his eyes were distant. I hated seeing that.
“I had a slight run in with the Kingsmen. Lily was working for them. Omen too,” the words just spilled out and his eyes widened. “But it’s all good. I’m fine. Nothing to worry about.”
“Pull up a pew,” he nodded at a chair.
I pulled it closer to the bed and sat down. My eyes again going to the wires and bags of fluid beside the bed.
“I’ve stopped asking what it all is,” he said.
“They keep telling me I’m going to make a full recovery and all will be good.
Even with all the empty slots, like that game from when we were kids, Operation?
You remember it, you got any tweezers on you, you could poke around, pull out a few more organs before the alarms go off. ”
His jokes weren’t funny, but they were a coping mechanism. It was his way of dealing with this but it just made me sad. I decided not to focus on the issues he faced but it was hard to think of something I could say that wouldn’t give anything away.
“You look tired.”
“My best friend was hurt, because of me. I couldn’t sleep thinking about you being here.”
“It wasn’t because of you,” he argued. “I shouldn’t have let him get the drop on me,” he looked away from me.
“None of us knew, Con. They had everyone fooled. There was no way you could have known what they had planned.”
“Still, I wasn’t there when you needed me.”
“Well, we’re here now, together and I’m not going anywhere. I promise.” He looked like he didn’t believe me. I slipped my fingers from his and twisted my thumb behind his. “Swear it.”
He closed his eyes and for a second looked like he was struggling but he wiped it away as fast as it came on and laughed. “Hudson have anything to do with that?”
“I’m sure he’d like to think so,” I gave him a one shoulder shrug, but I laughed too. “Things have kind of changed between us.”
“Yeah,” he shifted a little and winced.
“Are you okay?” I half lifted off the seat, but he waved me away. I waited until the pain wasn’t creasing his face quite so noticeably. “Yeah, he submitted.”
“Don’t make me laugh too much,” he chuckled with another wince. “It hurts.”
“I’m sorry,” I cringed.
After a moment he turned to me. “So he told you he loves you?” I nodded, felt the heat rising in my cheeks and wasn’t sure why. “Good, cos he would fucking hate to admit it but the asshole never stopped. Despite all the women he fucked, you were always the one.”
I cringed a little at the way he said it, so blasé, like it didn’t mean anything.
He didn’t even seem to notice his comment hurt a little.
I didn’t want to think about Hudson with anyone.
I’d already had the pleasure of seeing him with two other women, never mind know about all the women he’s allegedly fucked.
“Who knows, maybe I’ll even be around for the wedding.”
“Who says you’ll be invited?” I glared at him, letting him know I didn’t appreciate the shit he kept saying.
“Come on, Curtsey, it wouldn’t be a party without me.”
“Well, I might just have to deal with that if you don’t stop putting yourself down. You’re fine Con, you got through it. It isn’t fair what you’ve been through but you’re strong. Nothing can keep you down.”
“Yeah, I know. Superman, that’s me.”
He wasn’t going to stop, and I didn’t want to push him. “Warren is getting us coffee. He’ll be next in. Hudson can wait.”
Connor’s face darkened slightly, and he turned his head away.
“They didn’t mean to keep anything from you,” I said not wanting him to blame them for anything.
“Yeah, sure. I know. I’m happy you came but I’m really tired.”
“Oh,” I sat back a little. “Connor, I didn’t mean to say anything to upset you.”
“I’m not upset, I’m tired. Everyone means well but Jolene and Smokey don’t know when to shut up, they talk the leg off me and sometimes, I just need to sleep, you know.”
“You want me to go, what about the others?”
He closed his eyes. “I’m not exactly going anywhere.”
“Alright.” I stood and leaned over the bed, placing a soft kiss to his cheek. His eyes opened as I pulled back and he gave me a heart-breaking smile. “I love you Connor.”
“You too, Littler Curtis.”
I laughed at another one of the many nicknames he’d given me over the years. “Do you need anything?”
“Kind of sick of people asking if I need anything,” he huffed.
“What exactly are they gonna be able to give me? A spleen?” he looked at me in silence for a moment, then he grinned.
“Just kidding,” he winked. “I’m good, but if you could let the nurse know I could do with resting, that would be great. ”
“Sure. I’ll be back as soon as I can, okay.”
“Yeah,” he turned his head and closed his eyes.
I stood still for a long time, remembering what Warren told me about his condition. How he couldn’t concentrate on one thing for too long, or he made inappropriate jokes or comments. He’d been through a lot, this was obviously too much for him. I whispered goodbye but he didn’t answer.
When I got back out to the waiting room, Hudson and Rosa got up. Warren sat drinking his coffee.
“How was he?” Hudson asked.
“Fine. Well, not fine but he was awake. He said he was tired though. He’s asked the nurse to let us know he doesn’t want any more visitors for now.”
Hudson frowned but Rosa pointed out that he did tire easily. I looked behind her at my brother, he was leaning back in his seat, staring away from us. He had squeezed the coffee cup in his hand so tight it was crushed, and the coffee was spilt all over the floor.
“Warren,” I started to move towards him. The coffee was still steaming. “God, are you alright?”
He got up, looked at his hand as if he hadn’t even noticed what he’d done. I could already see his skin turning red where it was burnt.
“Warren? You need to get this looked at.”
“Don’t worry about it,” he snapped. “I need some air,” he said and walked away from me.
I exchanged a look with Hudson and Rosa, both of whom were watching after my brother.
“Fuck that.” I stormed after him.