11. Chapter Eleven
Chapter Eleven
T rue to my word, I didnt try anything with Wave last night. I hadnt wanted to but having her there with me helped. It kept me from breaking down. If there was anyone I could break in front of, it would be her. But I didnt want her to see me like that.
Id got in the shower when we went upstairs, even though it was late. Wave surprised the shit out of me when she slipped in with me. She helped wash me, and I did the same for her. There was nothing overtly sexual about our time in there, though I couldnt really help the biology of my dicks response to running my hands over her soapy wet body. Id apologised but she hushed me and moved behind me to wash my back.
Sleeping with her in my bed was supposed to help but Id lain awake behind her, listening to her deep breaths, struggling with everything. I never let on to her I barely slept. We ate breakfast with Rosa, Ballistic hadnt come home. We werent particularly quiet, conversation flowed, but both women were worried about me. Rosa took Wave home. Wed stood in the front hall while Rosa went to get her things and Id hugged her tight and thanked her for being there for me. She told me she always would and there was no doubting the love that passed between us as we stood there.
Which only made me hurt even more.
I said all the right things, watched her leave then went back to my room. Alone for the first time since I found out what my father had done. I stood in the middle of the room looking around.
It was a really nice room. I now had a laptop of my own, so Id been able to actually do proper assignments for school. A flat screen TV on the wall. A brand-new mattress on the bed, my own bathroom. All things Id never had at home. Id coveted them to an extent when I was at the Curtis house but over the last five years, Id rationalised my dad was doing what he could. He paid the bills, bought food. But none of that mattered now.
I sat on the edge of the bed and leaned my elbows on my knees, looking down at the thick rug beneath my boots. My vision blurred. I hated him. For the first time, I honestly and truly hated my father. I didnt know it was possible to love someone and hate them this bad at the same time.
Last night he took everything the club had done for him, shit all over it, then went out and killed a twenty-eight-year-old mother of two. Smashed right into her. She didnt stand a fucking chance. Those two kids were going to grow up just like me. Motherless. And it was all because of my dad.
I got up, grabbed the lamp and threw it. It tore the socket out of the wall, and I felt bad for damaging Ballistic and Rosas property. I didnt feel in the slightest bit better for breaking it. I slumped down on the floor and put my head in my hands.
He ruined everything. The bastard had ruined everything. I could smell Waverley. Her scent was all over the sheets behind me and it gave me some comfort. I loved her so much, yet I was going to end up hurting her too. Id do everything in my power to prevent it. Id let her know that no matter what, nothing would stop me loving her.
The first tear fell, and I angrily swiped it away with the back of my hand. Still determined not to let myself be weak.
When I first walked into the hospital room, Id been sickened by the man lying in the bed. I ignored the cop outside his room, even though hed nodded to Ballistic as we passed, letting me know he was one of Kings. Dad wasnt awake. Whatever they had done for him at rehab, it certainly wasnt keeping him healthy. He was skinnier. Or he just looked smaller lying in that bed, battered and bruised, casts over the breaks in his bones. A murderer .
King took a seat and indicated for me to do the same. Ballistic remained by the closed door. I was sure they werent supposed to do that, but these were the Devils Chaos MC Officers. They could do whatever the fuck they wanted, and the cop outside would make sure we werent disturbed.
Im gonna be straight with you, King said. There is no way out of this. Not even we can prevent what is going to happen to him.
I nodded my head. King went on to list every injury my dad suffered while I looked at the floor. He told me what happened to the woman he hit, and the man who had been with her as they crossed the street. They hadnt known each other, theyd just got off the bus and were chatting as they crossed.
Sussex was like that. People cared about each other. Unlike the excuse for a man lying in that bed. Not even five hours out of rehab and he went straight to a bar.
Have you seen the womans family? I asked.
They came by earlier, her parents and husband, Ballistic told me. The cops prevented them coming in here. They were overwrought, lashing out. It was understandable.
I spoke with them, King continued. I offered the full support of the club, anything they needed. Her mom and husband werent receptive, but her father could see I was genuine. Whatever he needs, he knows he can get it from the MC.
Thanks.
No need to thank me, King told me.
Weve held off the detectives as long as we could, Ballistic spoke again. I glanced over at him. We wanted you to see him first. But theyre on their way.
What are we looking at? I asked, surprised by how calm I sounded, how normal my voice was as I asked about the future my father was facing.
Its going to be bad, Ballistic said honestly. You need to be prepared.
I listened to Ballistics words, feeling more for what that womans family was suffering. I wanted to ask how old the kids were, but I didnt. Id find out anyway. I glanced back at my dad. His eyes were open. Hed heard what Ballistic said. He was staring at the ceiling, and I waited, waited for what felt like an eternity but he never lowered his eyes.
Look at your fucking son, King said, getting to his feet. Dads eyes went to King. Look at him .
My fists clenched as my fathers wet eyes turned to me. I watched as two tears fell, rolling down the side of his face, soaking into the hair by his ears. It took everything I had in me not to do the same. I wouldnt do that in front of the two most important men in my life now. Ballistic had taken me in when the man in this bed abandoned me. Because that was what he had done. He abandoned me years ago, he wasnt living with me.
We all stood in silence for a while. King shook his head, his disappointment and disdain for my father obvious.
Nothing I say, my father started, his voice scratchy. He cleared his throat and started again. Nothing will ever make up for the things Ive done since your mom died.
My eyes burned but I wouldnt cry. And even if I did, it would be for her, not him.
I will always regret what Ive done, Hudson. As long as I live.
You wanted to die, I spat at him. For the last eight years, you might has well have been dead. How many times did you actually try to do it? I asked.
He looked away. Not once, because he was a coward too. Not that I would ever condone suicide, nor would I have wanted my dad to do that. So he fell into drink, hoping one of those times he drove home he would crash and kill himself. Only when he finally did it, it wasnt him who died.
I stopped talking. Hed gone to not being able to look at me again, more tears streaking his temples. A knock at the door let us know the detectives were here and they would need to speak to my dad.
We have our lawyer coming, King told me.
I wouldnt bother, I said, my eyes burning into the side of my fathers head. There was more I could say, more that could burst out of my chest but I walked out of the room. I left him and went around the corner to the people who would never do anything like this to me. My chest loosened up when I saw the three of them. My best friends. And her.
Sitting with them calmed some of the rage but it made the ache of sadness grow. No matter how tight Waverley held my hand, how funny Connor tried to be, even with the sadness in his eyes as he cracked jokes. Nor the quiet strength radiating from my best friend who sat beside me, his shoulder and knee touching mine.
When I went back into the room after the police left, the course of my life completely changed.
Dad was asleep again, the nurses had given him something because he became agitated, whatever the hell that had looked like.
King remained in the room with the lawyer and the police. He watched me cross the room. He admitted everything, waived a trial, hes pleading guilty to any charges they put against him.
I stood by the window, not sure I wanted to look at my dad again. You know the charges?
Vehicular homicide. It comes with a minimum term of ten years. Because he was intoxicated the seriousness goes up slightly more than if the crash was an accident. He can be given additional time for that, which is another minimum three years. All without parole. There is also the second person to consider, hes not going to die but he could have, and his injuries are pretty serious, so that is attempted vehicular homicide.
For each person there is a sentence attached. Given he is pleading guilty, waiving his right to a trial, the police are going to push for the fullest punishment they can. Being honest kid, Id say it will definitely be upward of twenty years without parole.
And he just agreed?
He did. Against the advice of our lawyer. A trial wouldnt have been good for anyone though, not you, not the families. Or him, King added with a glance to the bed. Hell go to a sentencing hearing in a few days, when he is well enough to attend. The likelihood is, by the end of the week hell be in prison. In a prison hospital until hes fully recovered but he will be in lock up.
I nodded and turned to Ballistic, he was watching me carefully, that calm stoic look of his unnerving. He was waiting for me to say something. It oddly felt like a test. Ballistic thought little of my father. He was pissed hed taken everything the club offered him then turned around and thanked them by doing this. As far as Ballistic was concerned, he was going exactly where he belonged. But at the same time, he knew what it did to me.
Wed spent a number of nights talking after Rosa went to bed. Hed kept tight lipped about his business in the club, but hed told me a few things that I could read between the lines.
Things were changing for me. I was being drawn in. Then King put the final nail in the coffin of me ever leaving to go to college with Wave, even though I knew the possibility had always been slim.
Were making sure the prison he goes to is one we have control over. Hell be protected, King said. Before you protest, because believe me, son, he put a hand on my shoulder. I see your anger, I know you want to tell me to let him rot, but deep down, that may be how you feel now, but a couple of years down the line, youll want to know he isnt suffering in there.
I held my tongue, because he was right. I didnt think he deserved any protection right now.
He is under the Devils protection. He will live a solitary life in there. Hopefully, he will come to regret the things hes done, seek some kind of penance for it. Im not sure he will reach out to you, or that you would be receptive to that. He nodded when my jaw clenched, knowing he was right.
There are two types of men in this world, Hudson. Leon found himself in a situation where he lost his wife. He could have dealt with that in any number of ways. There are men who take control of their responsibilities and deal with the shit that comes along.
Then there are those that give up and hope some outside force will take away their suffering and everyone else be damned. He has a son he should have cared for, but he didnt. He was waiting to die, but he never did anything to speed up the process. He could have come to us for help. We would have answered that.
I turned my head to King, not knowing that was something he would have done but it was written all over his face. The club would have helped. For me. Just like they had when they sent him to rehab. King witnessed all the times I ran to their house over the years, he hadnt stepped in because my father hadnt asked.
Ballistics words came back to me then, how King always did things that benefited the club. It made me stand a little taller, knowing they saw my worth, that they felt I was someone deserving of the club.
He was doing all of this for me because he wanted me to be a member. It wasnt cut and dried, but it was clear, if they did this for me, then I owed the Devils Chaos. It wasnt done with any ill intent, Id always hoped and planned to join but Waverley complicated things. King knew that too. I could see it in the way he was watching me.
He thought it was a choice. I didnt need to choose. I wanted them both and although Waverley planned on us coming to college with her, she was smart enough to know deep down it wasnt happening. She was clinging to a dream of getting us away from her father, but it was already too late. It didnt mean we couldnt be together. She had applied to Columbia University in New York. That wasnt so far away. We might not be close enough to see each other every day but if we really believed in what we had, and I did, we could do both. I wanted desperately to do both.
One of us will attend the sentencing, King eventually said. Hed been watching me closely as I thought everything through. Well spare you that.
Thank you. I appreciate everything youve done. Everything the club has done.
It was obviously the right thing to say because King clapped my shoulder again, squeezed it before leaving the room. Ballistic remained where he was, watching me. It was like my father wasnt in the room anymore. King was right, this would be the last time we saw each other.
You understand what all of this means?
Yeah.
Youll be an asset to the club, Hudson. Youll go far, if you do the right thing.
My jaw tensed again. Fuck them both for thinking they can push Waverley and I apart. I didnt doubt they cared about both of us, but the club always came first. Always.
Id left that room without looking back at my father.
My friends wanted us to be together but accepted it when I asked for Wave alone.
While Id sat here thinking over everything, the tears had fallen. I looked down to see the drips all over my jeans. I wiped my face and got to my feet. Being alone had never done my father any good. He closed himself off to the hurt and look where he ended up.
I grabbed my phone and sent a group text. Rosa was in the kitchen when I came down. She asked if I was okay, and I let her know where I was going. She smiled at me, in her own quiet way she approved. I towered over her, but she hugged me tight, her head slotting under my chin.
Hold on to that girl, she told me.
I will.
The sounds and vibrations of the bike grounded me. The feel of the wheels eating up the road, the wind blowing around me, settled something inside of me. It was barely midday, but I met my friends at the lake. Connor brought beer, Waverley brought food, because she was responsible like that. Warren brought music and the steely determination to give me whatever I needed to get through all of this.
We talked, we laughed, and Connor kept us entertained like he always did. We drank the beers and ate the food and Warren managed to contain his shit when Waverley sat in my lap as it got later. We didnt rub it in his face or anything, but I did nuzzle into her neck as the beer buzz kicked in, which had Connor cracking up and Warren going to throw stuff into the lake. Waverley ripped him a new one when he threw an empty bottle.
Man you need to get used to it, Connor said from where he was lying on the ground, his knees bent and his hands behind his head. This here is true love.
Shut up, asshole, I kicked his elbow which was about within reach.
What? he raised his head. You gonna deny it, Kelley, he winked at Wave.
Im sure as shit not gonna talk about something that personal with you two dickheads here.
Waverley put her head on my shoulder and her warm breath hit my neck when she laughed. I squeezed my arm tighter around her, giving credit to Connors words.
Wanna give them something to really get their panties in a twist?
You thinking naughty thoughts Waverley Curtis?
Always, she grinned, then she leaned up and kissed me. It was by no means filthy, just a sweet, simple kiss that ended with her laughing against my lips as Warren cursed and there was another loud splash. Louder than before.
I pulled back and leaned around to see. Connor had sat up, his mouth open in disbelief, shocked into silence for once.
He didnt! Waverley twisted and scrambled up.
We all got up and went to the waters edge where the water was still rippling. Then Warrens head crested the water, and he shook his hair, a huge grin on his face.
You moron, Waverley shouted.
It was by far the first time wed swam in the lake, but the water was cold, and he was fully dressed. Connor whooped loudly behind us and he was a blur as he ran past and jumped into the lake too. I glanced at Wave who was laughing, at least until she caught me staring at her.
Dont, she warned me. You fucking dare.
I grinned and ran at her, she spun and ran away. The others were laughing as I chased her. She ran around in circles laughing as hard as she was trying to get away. Connor and Warren were having a water fight behind us. Eventually I caught her and swept her up, throwing her over my shoulder and slapping her ass.
She shrieked and wriggled so I had to put my hand on her ass to keep her steady, she moaned a little when I rubbed it and I grinned. I ran towards the water, then launched her. She flew backwards, her arms and legs pin-wheeling and she hit the water with another shriek. I jumped in straight after her.
Fuck, I shouted coming back up to the surface. Thats cold.
Waverleys lips were chattering as she fought to get her hair out of her face. I swam over to her and grabbed her waist. She yelled at me, and I laughed. Connor and Warren swam around as I tread water in place, encouraging her to wrap her legs around me.
Asshole, I hate you, she slapped my shoulders just before she wrapped her arms around my neck, shivering against me.
Yeah, well, I love you.
She stopped wriggling about and stared at me. I kissed the tip of her nose and smiled at her.
Youre a big jerk. I love you too, she whispered.
And fuck it, I kissed her. I kissed her hard until water came at us from both directions and Waverley screamed, she scrambled around me like a monkey till she was on my back, using me as a human shield.
What kind of water fight partner are you? I yelled at her, holding my hands up to protect my face from the onslaught.
The sneak attack kind, she whispered. Swing me around.
She had leaned back and was side on, her arms stretched up. I got the idea and I kicked up and spun away from them doing a three sixty turn, Waverley came around using her arms to create a small tsunami that swept over both of them and they disappeared under the water to get away. She was laughing as I pulled her back up.
We stayed in the water till we couldnt feel our limbs, then raced down to the compound. We went inside to the shouts and threats of the brothers for leaving a sodden mess as we ran through the clubhouse and up to Connors room. Warren and Connor disappeared to use someone elses shower while I jumped in fully clothed with Wave. What Warren didnt know wouldnt hurt him when we stripped, and I made her come while kissing her.
We were all dressed in Connors clothes and hung out in his room talking until the early hours. Wave and Connor fell asleep first. I sat in the dark watching them, snuggled up together on his bed. Honestly, I wasnt even in the least bit jealous. Our friendship was strong and loyal.
You good? Warrens voice came from my left. Wed made makeshift beds on the floor.
I breathed out heavily. I will be.
You have a whole family here with us, you know that right? You always have.
I know, I said. Because it was dark, and because it was just the two of us, me and my best friend, I felt like I could say this. Ill always be grateful for that. You and Wave have always been there for me when shit got hard.
That wont change.
I know, I repeated.
We were quiet a little while though we both knew the other was still awake.
Spoke to King earlier, Warren said quietly.
Yeah?
I heard rustling and he sat up to check on the other two. Connor was snoring and Wave was out for the count. The girl could sleep. Once she was out, she was out.
Were getting inducted.
What? I sat up too. Although it was dark, there was some light from the window and I could see him leaning back against the wall. He told you that? When?
Next week, he picked at the knee of the shorts Connor had loaned him to sleep in. Hes not stupid, he knows what Wave wants. But he knows what he wants too. I think this, what happened yesterday sped up the process. Shes gonna be heartbroken.
Shes tough, I told him, although it felt good to know I wasnt the only one feeling guilty right now. Itll be hard, but we can make it work.
All of us, or your relationship with her? The question was asked quietly but there were was an edge to the tone.
Everything. I love her, man. That wont change.
He was silent for a while. We still have two months left in school, and the whole of summer. He shuffled closer. Did you actually apply anywhere?
Columbia, I admitted. I dont expect to get in, its an Ivy League school, I chuckled. It was the only one Id applied to. Id never be able to afford it either. I dont have any sports scholarships, like you.
I didnt apply for a scholarship. I didnt want to take it away from anyone else. Meaning hed only done it to appease his sister. But its near, you know. She wont be far away, she can come home on weekends, and we can visit her. They have a good business school, itd be perfect for her.
If she gets in.
Shell get in. Shell get in all of them. Its Waverley.
I glanced back at the bed. The pair of them hadnt moved. When are we gonna tell her?
Before it happens. I dont want her to be blindsided. She deserves better than that from us.
I nodded my head. Absolutely she did. I felt like a chicken, glad that Warren was in the same boat as me, that we would be doing this together.
She already knows, Hud. Not that its happening so soon. That we were never going with her.
Running my hands over my face I suddenly felt bone tired. This sucked. I was getting something I wanted, something Id longed for since I was a kid, and a ready-made family to go with it, at her expense. He was right though, college wasnt our path.
Despite what she said about the club, she loved this place. Wave was a part of the same family we were. She just hated to admit it.
I know you probably dont want to talk about your dad right now, you might never want to discuss it, but you know Im here for you, if you need me.
I nodded, though I wasnt sure he could see me.
And that is about enough of this emotional sensitive shit I can handle, he slapped my shoulder.
Wanna go outside and fight to forget what dickless saps we are.
He laughed, loudly. Connor snorted and moved, luckily neither of them woke up.
Get some fucking sleep asshole, Warren told me.
Yeah, you too fucker.