Chapter Eighteen
Eli (Handlebar)
That last phone call has finally yielded some results.
I’m caught in two minds about what steps to take next.
Carnies, by nature, are suspicious people.
Even people they once trusted won’t be easily let in, they won’t give up information freely.
If I want to find out anything, there is going to need to be a lot of finessing.
My first instinct is not to tell anyone and go alone. Liz is a hard enough nut to crack and won’t take kindly to seeing me. I never left without saying goodbye but she made damn sure I knew she wasn’t happy about it. This is going to be hard.
And not because I’m seeing the first place where the people made me feel welcome after spending three years running from my past, alone, untrusting and in desperate need. Liz helped me the most. She trusted me, I’m not so sure I’ll get that same courtesy now.
The way things ended with Cassie is playing on my mind. I was caught between waiting for her to get out of the shower and leaving the same way Mace did. The things I said to her in the garage were contradicted in epic fashion by what I did that day and the need to explain was overwhelming.
Only problem, I didn’t know how to explain it. When she showed up with him, the rage consumed me and I did something I never do, I lashed out. There was some satisfaction that I caught him off guard and got a decent punch in but Mace didn’t back down.
Shaking out of my mixed feelings about how that whole thing turned out, I grab my phone off the counter and head outside, I won’t make this call in front of the guys.
We don’t have much time if I want to get to Liz. They’ve already been camped up for three days, five is their usual stay and god knows where they will head next after being two hours away from Sussex.
There is no point procrastinating, I dial her number and take off the cap I was wearing, rub a hand over my hair and then shove it back on. The phone rings in my ear and from behind me. It doesn’t register at first that it’s the same phone until the call cuts off and the ringing right by me.
“Eli.”
I freeze for a moment, then turn around.
What is she doing here? Has she come to see me.
My eyes trail over her body. She’s wearing jeans and a T-shirt with a leather jacket.
I’ve seen her in her business suits, sexy dresses, and naked but seeing her wearing leather is doing something different to me.
“You were calling me?”
It’s on the tip of my tongue to ask why she is at the compound but any hope it was to find me is dashed when she tells me she had a meeting with War.
“What is it?” she asks. “Why did you call?” There is no hesitation in her, she doesn’t turn away from me and is trying hard not to show she is any way affected by me.
Fine, we can be businesslike. For now. “I tracked down Sanderson’s.” When she frowns, I explain it’s the carnival we’re looking for. “They won’t be around much longer, if we want to find out anything it needs to be today.”
“Really?” Her body language shifts from cautious to excited. “Where are they?”
“Not too far from here.”
“What are we waiting for then?”
“We?”
“Yes Eli, we. This is a break we needed. I can’t believe you found them so fast.”
“Finding them isn’t the hard part, sweetheart.” The endearment rolls off my tongue far too easily and I don’t miss how it affects her. “They won’t talk to just anyone.”
“You think I can’t handle this? I work with this MC and I’ve dealt with people from all different walks of life in my job. I can do this.”
I shake my head with a wry smile. “Carnie’s aren’t like anyone you’ve ever met before. They won’t talk to you. They don’t know you and anyone who comes sniffing around asking questions will be shut out before you can even introduce yourself.”
“They trust you.” She taps her foot impatiently.
“Did trust me. It’s been sixteen years since I saw them. Hell, I don’t even know if the same people are still running with them. It’s the kind of lifestyle where people come and go.”
That’s not strictly true. A real carnie stays in the life until they die. Sandersons had people who’d been there over fifty years. Cassie needs to understand what she is walking into.
“Eli, we’re wasting time. Where are they? My car is over there, we can leave now.”
“I’m not getting in your car, Cassie. Showing up in that,” I point to her flashy Mercedes. “Is even more of a red flag to them.”
“What are you suggesting? That we borrow one of the trucks?”
I shake my head. She thinks for a moment, her brow creased, then her expression flattens out.
“You want me to go on a bike? Your bike?”
I’m not stupid, nor is she. There is a whole heap of traditions and rules in motorcycle clubs and no woman rides on the back of your bike unless she’s claimed, on her way to being an Old Lady, or in danger.
“It’s a compromise I’m willing to make. Are you?” I lean forward a little getting close enough to smell her perfume. “Like you said, we don’t have much time.”
“You think I don’t know what it means, Handlebar?”
I don’t like it when she calls me that, but I guess if we’re doing this, then those are the roles we need to take. My brow arches, waiting for her to make up her mind. Maybe having her along will help. Or maybe I like the thought of her riding at my back. Stupid.
I shove my phone in the pocket of my overalls. I’ll need to change.
“If it makes you feel better, we can meet away from the compound so no one sees.” Her nose wrinkles as she thinks. “What’s it gonna be?”
“I’ll meet you at Waverley’s gym. I can leave my car there.”
I nod and without a word we split apart to do what we need to.
Waverley’s gym is fifteen minutes away from the compound and Cassie is waiting when I pull to a stop.
She gets out of the car and walks over, eyeing the bike with apprehension.
She grew up in the life but women don’t get to ride.
This is going to be her first time. My chest swells at the thought.
I climb off and take out the second helmet I brought for her.
“Have you ever crashed before?”
“You serious?” I laugh.
“Bikes are dangerous.”
“So are staircases.”
“Very funny.”
She’s nervous. Making fun of her isn’t going to make this easier. “I’ve never had an accident and don’t intend to with you on the bike, Cassie. I would never put you in danger.”
We stare at each other, unspoken words passing between us. She pulls back first, and the disappointment runs through me again.
She listens as I explain how riding works, that she needs to lean with me, not fight the tilt of the bike. And that holding on tight isn’t an option.
Once her helmet is on, I get on the bike and help her get behind me.
Instantly my heart rate picks up. Get your shit together, this is a necessity, not a statement.
She wraps her arms around me with no hesitation after I start the bike.
I’m not sure if it’s her following the rules or being scared of the rumble of the engine beneath her.
Before I pull on my helmet, I turn my head as far as I can and take hold of one of her hands.
“You need a break, tap my leg,” I use our joined hands to show what I mean. “It’s a long ride. I’m used to it but you aren’t so don’t worry about asking.”
She nods and I release her hand to take the handles. She clasps them on my stomach and now I know what some of the other brothers have talked about before. Your cock getting hard while riding isn’t as fun as you think it would be.
We have an important job to do and facing the first people who took me in without question makes my stomach flutter. This isn’t going to be easy.
Cassie follows the instructions I gave her and the ride is smooth. I try to focus only on the road, not where we’re headed, or how she grips me a little tighter when we take a turn, or speed up on the open highway.
She surprises me by not wanting to stop for a break, even when I ask her when we’re at a red light.
“Let’s just get there,” she says.
I’m not sure if it’s because she wants to speak to them as soon as possible, or she wants this to be over.
I’ve been to this fairground before so know the way once we’re off the main roads.
I pull to a stop a little way back from the actual carnival.
It’s mid-afternoon, so quieter than it will be later.
Things usually pick up in the evening, when it gets dark and more exciting on the rides with all their lights and flowing alcohol, people there on dates.
It’s the family crowd that usually starts the day off early.
Behind the rides, the small huts where games are played, and the food trucks is where we need to go. Large trailers that carry the equipment, camper trucks and banged up cars are all parked a little way from the craziness of the rides.
Fuck knows how many people who were around when I was are still here. It may be a lifelong calling to most of these people, but they interchange a lot, apart from the old timers, like I told Cassie.
I’m not sure Cassie realizes it but we’re being watched as we head toward the staff only area. A thousand memories assault me all at once, the lights, the noise, the smell, the whole atmosphere.
The roar of motorbikes startles Cassie and I reach out a hand, placing it on her lower back.
Three bikes fly past us and head for a huge cage with a ramp leading inside.
It’s big enough to fit three cars length wise inside.
As a young kid this was one of the shows at the carnival that I never missed.
That these guys came to rely on me to make sure their bikes were safe was something that changed me. It wasn’t only about keeping their bikes in good order, it was about making sure they didn’t die.