Chapter 7 #3
Robina turned abruptly away toward the back-stool, raising an arm to dash away the sudden, unexpected tears. More streamed down her cheeks, though, and the last thing she wanted was to let Dev see her cry.
The room was silent. She’d been glad when they came in that she and Ada had tidied it, because others, not to mention herself and Benjy, often left things there that they meant to take elsewhere later. None of that mattered now.
She felt Dev gently touch her shoulder. “Robby, I’m sorry,” he said. “Perhaps we should have this discussion later.”
She shook her head and drew a breath. “It’s not your fault,” she said, her voice still unsteady. “It’s just…” Her voice caught.
“It’s just that Rab used to call you that when you were sulky or trying to wrap him round your thumb,” Dev said.
“I should have recalled that before I spoke. But when you looked at me as you did then, you looked just as he did when he wanted to change a subject or coax a man to do something he didn’t want to do.
It amazes me how much you can look like him despite being half his size and female. ”
“We were twins, after all,” she murmured.
“Aye, sure, but he was big, brawny, and hard-muscled. And you are… not,” he finished lamely, as though he knew he might be overstepping the bounds.
“Perhaps you had better just say what you want to say to me,” she said. “I don’t want to sit unless you do, and Benjy is waiting.”
“Very well,” he said. “Put plainly, I don’t want you to carry your dirk because it gives you a false sense of safety.
The worst you could do to any man with that weapon is to cut him.
But, in a fight with anyone larger, you are the one most likely to get hurt.
I’ll ask you to believe that I know what I’m saying.
I have taught weaponry to many men and lads, including your reckless brother. ”
Although she knew she had lost the argument, she said quietly, “Rab did teach me how to use it.”
“I’m not questioning that,” Dev said. “I do question the likelihood that he expected you to defend yourself with it against any angry or malicious man, let alone a warrior. Did Rab say you were skilled enough for that?”
Much as she would have liked to, she could not claim that Rab thought she could take him, let alone Dev or any other warrior, in a fight. His teaching had made her confident that she could defend herself, though. Without that…
“I see,” Dev said. “I mean what I say, lass. You may keep the dirk because he gave it to you, but you are not to carry it. Someone attacking or capturing you could take it and use it against you. Neither of us wants that.”
“Is there anything else?” She winced then at the echo of her words, knowing that she had sounded sullen or as if she were trying to deflect him again.
But he said more gently than she had expected, “Just this: I think you recall that Gyb mistook you for a milkmaid out there, Robby. That kirtle you’re wearing does look fit for the ragbag.”
“Are you going to tell me how to dress now?”
“No, I’m going to make sure that every man out there knows who you are and that he is to treat everyone at Coklaw with due respect.
Nevertheless, you wore only that thin pink kirtle when we met in the hall last Sunday night, and now this ragged one.
So you are either in desperate need of new clothing or sadly careless about your appearance.
Lady Rosalie will notice such things when she arrives—”
“Must we have her?”
“We must. Don’t interrupt me or try to change the subject again. If you have more suitable garments, you would be wise to wear them. If you lack such clothing, tell me, and we’ll do something about it.”
“In troth,” she said, “I rarely think about what I wear, because I so seldom see anyone who makes me think about it. Doubtless you are right, though. I disliked hearing your man say that about me. But, if you mean I should have new dresses made, I think you will find that we are short of gelt at present. I do have better garments than this one, though. I wore it because Benjy and I were going to go and see if it might be possible to plant his tree for Rab now.”
His lips thinned, and she suspected that he disliked the very idea of the two of them going outside the wall.
“Is there aught I should know that you have not yet told me?” she asked him. “Has someone reported raiding parties in the area?”
He shook his head. “If anyone has, I’ve heard nowt of it.
Nor has Wat. I was just thinking that I must talk with Benjy first, and then briefly with Greenlaw.
But then, unless the laddie irks me again or the two discussions last long enough to take us to the midday meal, I’ll go with you. I’d like to help.”
To his chest, she said, “Benjy and I agreed that we should do the work ourselves. Our graveyard is too far for him to go there alone, so the tree is to be in memory of Rab and a place where Benjy can visit him.”
“You, too, I expect. Do you not want me to help?” he added bleakly.
Her rueful gaze flew up to meet his. “I did not mean that. I wouldn’t… Oh, my wretched tongue! Now I’m the one who didn’t think. Well, I did, but I was thinking that you meant you needed to guard us, and I—”
“Never mind, Robby,” he said. “I ken fine what you think about that. I don’t want to be your jailor. If I worry about your safety, it is because it is my duty now to do so and because I promised Rab that I would.”
She gaped at him. “You what?”