Chapter 24
Luc
More Than Words
Extreme
To say being on the road with a baby, and a woman I hope to sometime soon call my own, strange, would be an understatement. It is a complete and utter mind fuck. This isn’t to say things are bad. They aren’t. This is actually going incredibly well, all things considered.
I went from being a very single, very detached man, to one who is currently holding a baby in his lap, attempting to read a book to her. Happily, I might add. The woman of my dreams sitting a foot away. And, all of this change happened just over a week ago.
We finished our set in San Francisco last night, and we are on our way to Portland now. Our crew guys had moved everything from our room onto the bus, and Lily had spent most of yesterday getting everything organized for Larkin.
It was a damn nice bus. Brand new from what I could tell. Cherry must have had a hell of time convincing the label we needed it and why. If it meant a cut out of my tour royalties, it would be well worth it.
The main cabin looked like a big open concept living space.
One side was lined with a kitchen, complete with a full-size fridge, stove, microwave, plenty of cabinets, with fancy granite countertops to boot.
At the end of the wall, a huge flat screen was mounted above a gas fireplace.
Not sure we’d need that during the summer, but it was a nice touch.
The other side of the bus had a long, velvet covered sofa, and a dining table with two bench seats.
The bedroom was on the backside of the bus, separated by a sliding door.
It only had a queen size bed, but the smaller sized bed allowed for more floor space, and a place to setup Larkin’s temporary crib.
The bathroom was off the bedroom, and rivaled most of the hotel bathrooms I’d had over the years. The only problem we encountered was a bathtub. There wasn’t one. Lily promised she could manage, either bathing Larkin in the large kitchen sink, or just taking her into the shower with her.
Okay, maybe that wasn’t the only problem. The other one, the single bedroom, was the other, and our current topic of conversation.
“Lily, I’ve got no problem at all sleeping right here.” I point to the couch I’m sitting on. “It folds down, and is plenty long enough.”
“It feels wrong.” She argues back. “You’re the one on tour, going out on stage every night. You need to make sure you’re getting the rest that you need.”
“Believe me, I’ve slept in places a hundred times worse than this couch.” I fire back with a chuckle. “This isn’t a hardship.” I lower my voice as I point to a picture in the book I’m holding in front of Larkin. “What’s this called?”
“Cat.” She blurts out, Lily and I clapping our hands in delight, our other subject momentarily put aside.
“Good girl!” I exclaim, kissing the top of her head. “You’re so smart.” I turn my attention back to Lily, arching a brow suggestively. “I could always just sleep in the bed with you.”
Her face flushes a deep pink, her eyes popping wide as she shifts her gaze down to the bundle in my lap. I’m quite sure Larkin doesn’t have a clue what I’m referencing.
Since our heated moment in Los Angeles the other night, I’ve been biding my time, giving her the space she asked for while we get to know each other, more properly than our original meeting. But it isn’t easy.
Just looking at her made my cock twitch.
I wanted another taste of her more than I wanted my next breath.
I didn’t want to scare her away though, so I wait.
Not without a subtle hint every now and then though, like the one I just planted, to make sure she knows I want her. That won’t, and isn’t going to change.
There’s been one other moment since that night in L.A.
, even hotter than the first, which happened last night after the show when I got back to our room.
I was a sweaty mess. She was freshly showered, sitting in a chair, brushing her long hair, the wet ends dripping onto her shirt, making it basically transparent. She may as well have been naked.
I’m a patient man, but I’m also human. And after a show, I’m already fucking edgy as hell, my endorphins so high I usually need a good couple of hours to come down. I couldn’t help myself. I prowled straight to her, sank down beside her, then yanked her onto my lap as I crushed my mouth to hers.
There wasn’t a single second of hesitation on her part.
In minutes, she had readjusted herself so her legs straddled my waist, her center lining up perfectly against my cock.
The fucking heat that came from between her legs, even through the jeans I had on, was like hell on earth.
I wanted to bury myself so deep inside her, hear her scream my name again, feel her wrap around me like a vise.
But she had to be the one to make that happen.
And until she gave me the okay, my poor cock would keep having regular visits with my palm in the shower.
I’m surprised I don’t have blisters yet.
And maybe it would have happened last night, but Larkin woke up crying, Lily’s heat, scent, body, gone before I could even register the loss.
I turn the page, literally and figuratively, and focus on the little nugget in my lap. She seems to be completely at ease with me, even reaching out for me now when I enter the room.
I never knew I could love something so much. Of course, every time Mikey’s around, I become invisible. Never in a million years did I think my brother would win over a girl, let alone, the one I love the most. Sometimes the universe has a sick sense of humor.
“I just want to remind you that the reporter from Amped will be joining us on tour starting in Portland.”
This has been a thorn in my side from the moment I had learned about it, but it pricked even harder now that Lily and Larkin were in my life.
“Cherry’s making her sign an NDA specific to you and Larkin. She’s got full access to the band, including me, but you two are off limits.”
“Do you think she’ll actually abide by that?” Her brow furrowing. “She’s a reporter. Isn’t this the kind of thing they live for.” She chuffs. “Whoever breaks the story about your little love child will be hitting paydirt.”
“Cherry’s the best.” I reassure her, lowering a wiggling Larkin to the floor so she can crawl around. “We have kick-ass lawyers. She wouldn’t allow something that she thinks would harm the band or any of us in it.”
“Okay.” She sighs, getting up to redirect Larkin away from a cabinet in the kitchen. “If you trust her, then I have too as well.”
“This chick did a number on me when I crashed and burned last tour.” The confession, one that doesn’t come easily due to the nature of its occurrence. “When I thought you had ghosted me, and I went a little too wild-child.”
“So why is Cherry letting her go on tour with the band then?” General concern in her tone.
“Four grammy’s and album of the year.” I scoff with a shrug. “We’re the biggest rock band in the world right now. We need to redeem ourselves to the magazine and their following, and apparently this is how we do it.”
“Personally, I think it sucks.” A hand on her hip as she expresses her opinion.
I throw my head back as I laugh, loving that she’s on the same page as me. “We’ll make it work. I’m not going to let anyone near you or Larkin.”
She lowers her body to sit cross-legged on the floor to play with Larkin.
She’s a really good mom. I know I’ve only seen her in action for a week, but it’s so obvious in how she is with her.
I watch them as they interact, my heart growing fuller than I could have ever dreamed, and I know that I will do anything to keep them safe.
“I’m falling in love with you.” It’s out there before I even realize I’ve said it out loud, her head whipping up, her eyes locking onto mine.
“Luc.” Her response a mere whisper as a hand covers her mouth.
“I don’t expect you to say it back.” I rush out, leaning forward, resting my elbows on my knees as I place my hands under my chin. “I just want you to know that this isn’t something trivial for me. It’s real. More fucking real than anything I’ve ever felt before.”
She blinks several times, and I realize it’s because tears are brimming in her eyes. She looks down, brushing them away before they can fall.
“Shit.” I drop down onto my knees on the floor to get closer to her. “I’m sorry. I shouldn’t have said anything.”
She shakes her head, then looks over at me, the corners of her mouth lifting slightly. “I’m happy, Luc, not sad.” She sniffles, handing a toy to Larkin before continuing.
“I wondered so many times who Larkin’s father was.
Hated that I couldn’t remember. Hated that I didn’t know if I would ever find out.
” She lets out a small chuckle. “And now that I know-” She breathes out a long sigh.
“I’m so relieved. You could have been anyone.
I mean, I didn’t expect her dad to be a famous rockstar, that’s for sure.
” She laughs again. “You’re kind. And you care. And you want the best for her, for us.”
“But-” I urge, because I can feel it coming.
“You’re a rockstar. You’re famous. You have this reputation for being a player.” She winces as she explains. “I may have googled you.”
“That was before you. Before I knew about Larkin.” I defend the later, knowing I can’t do anything about the famous rockstar part.
“I know, I know.” She frowns. “Luc, your gorgeous. Like, really, really hot as hell kind of good looking.” She waves a hand up and down the length of my body. “How could I not want you? I think it’s pretty obvious in case you couldn’t tell after the last few times you kissed me.”
She glances down at Larkin, who’s playing with some blocks, then hisses out. “If she wasn’t here right now, I’d be climbing you like a tree.”
“So, what’s the problem then?” I urge, because there’s a reason she’s holding back but I don’t understand what it is.
“That is the problem.” She declares, like it should be obvious.
“I don’t understand.” My head tilting in confusion.
“Luc, I need to know my feelings for you aren’t going to be based on how I’m going to feel by F-U-C-K-I-N-G you. Because, I have no doubt it would be amazing.”
She actually spells the word out. Which makes me chuckle, even though this is a serious conversation and one we need to have.
“I can tell you from past experience that it will be.” I grumble, not because I’m angry, but because I know what she’s saying is true. I have two years of unrequited memories that tell me what I feel for her is more than lust. Two years that she doesn’t have privy to because of her accident.
I scoot closer to her and take her hand in mine. “I didn’t say the words to scare you or rush you. Take all the time you need. Just know, I’m in it. One thousand percent. If that’s what you decide you want from me.”
“Thank you.” She breathes, squeezing her fingers in mine.
“To be clear though, I’m completely fine if you just want to use my really, really hot body and climb me like a tree.” I quirk a devilish smile at her.
“The temptation to accept that offer is getting harder and harder to ignore.” She admits, a sheepish look on her face as she blushes.
What she doesn’t know, and what I keep to myself, is I don’t need her consent to claim what I know is already mine.
It’s written in the stars. It’s just a matter of when.