Chapter 16 #2
With that he stalked for the exit, whistling a merry tune. I glared at his back, and judging by the smug smirk I caught on his lips before he shut the door, I knew the asshole did that on purpose.
It turned out Sophia only went out to get some fresh air on the porch. Merrick found her perched on the rocking chair, staring into the distance as though her mind was a thousand miles away. Sebastian wisely peered out the living room window at her instead of suffocating her with his presence.
After breakfast, Kellan and Spade left for the motel while Merrick and I went to the basement to work out. It was already a miracle that he hadn’t barged his way into any of the attacks, so I knew time was about to run out.
Sophia surprisingly joined, and the three of us started our warm-ups. I chose the elliptical, while Merrick and Sophia were running on their treadmills. Her usually rosy cheeks were sallow, dark crescents betraying her lack of sleep.
I frowned at Merrick, and he switched to his cool-down, clearly following my train of thought.
Merrick took the stairs two at a time, not wanting his heart to slow too much.
I had no doubt he was going to do some more in the front yard.
Thankfully we were set back far enough from the street; otherwise he’d be stopping traffic, flashing those muscles for the public.
Sophia’s treadmill slowed, and I took that as my cue to start my cool-down. A few minutes later, both of us were climbing off our machines and heading to the waters we’d set out earlier.
“What was that all about?” Sophia asked before guzzling half of her water in one go.
“Huh?” I blinked, feigning innocence, but Sophia just stared at me deadpan, not believing me for a second. Dammit. “He’s just giving us a few minutes to ourselves.”
“Uh huh, for what?”
“Does he need a reason?” I shrugged, not meeting her gaze.
“No, but I know there must be one. Those guys never leave your side.” Sophia rolled her eyes and tossed her towel at me.
I dodged it and cringed. “That was out of line. I love you, girl, but not enough to have your sweaty towel touching me.”
She snorted. “Fine, then tell me why you wanted to speak with me alone.”
“You know why, Soph.” My shoulders slumped. “We haven’t discussed what happened—”
“And I don’t want to start now.” She glanced at the stairs like she was about to bolt, but I blocked her path.
“Remember when I was trying to escape him, you wanted me to tell you everything, and even though it took me a while, I could open up to you, and I felt better after I let it all out.” I stepped to the side, knowing she’d only fight harder if I forced her.
“I just want to be that safe place for you.”
She blew out a long breath, her shoulders slumping gradually as though a string holding her taut had just been snipped.
“I keep trying to tell myself that what happened was nothing compared to the years that you spent with that man. You’re all just so strong, going out there and fighting the monsters who are trying to destroy us, and I just feel helpless. ”
“Never compare yourself to anyone else. Never tell yourself that your pain doesn’t matter because it doesn’t stack up to someone else’s in your mind.
I knew what I was signing up for when I went with Tommaso.
I buried the guys so deep in my heart that I was a shell of a person, and I never want to see you do that to yourself.
” I stepped closer, grasping her shoulders and forcing her gaze to meet mine.
“You were brought into a situation that you’d never had to face before, and your life was in jeopardy.
Never feel weak for being terrified in that situation, and never think you are ever lesser than anybody because you are still dealing with that trauma. ”
Sophia wrapped her arms around me, and I enveloped her in a tight embrace.
Her shoulders shook as tears spilled onto my shoulder.
My eyelids fluttered, and I sucked in a deep breath, my pulse pounding in my ears as I rubbed her back.
We were fighting to survive, but we had to remember to live and breathe between the battles.
Otherwise we’d lose ourselves in the fight and have nothing to come back to.
Sophia sniffled as she pulled away, and I grabbed her some tissues, helping her wipe away the evidence of her pain and sorrow.
“I keep seeing them in my dreams. Every time I close my eyes I see him staring back at me smugly, I see his men cornering me, threatening to … touch me the moment their boss got you back.”
I shuddered, knowing she was putting it mildly. My hands tightened into fists at my sides, wishing I could go back and let Sophia have their deaths if she wanted them.
“I know they’re dead, but—”
“No buts, it’s completely understandable.
I used to have nightmares too, that the guys getting me out was only a dream, that they still hated me, and I was trapped with him.
” His name didn’t deserve to be uttered anymore, not here.
“I even had a panic attack last night after being near the fire. I just want you to know it isn’t weak to feel. ”
Fresh tears fell onto her cheeks, and she brushed them away. “I didn’t know.”
“I know, which is my fault. I should tell you these things too so you don’t think I’m invincible.
We’re all human, and we’re just going through life the best we can.
And I need to do a better job at reassuring you I’m here for anything you need, whether it’s a shoulder to cry on, or an ear to listen. ”
“Gi—” Her lips flattened like she was about to argue, but I cut her off.
“No, I do, and I’m here whenever you’re ready; that’s why Merrick left, so we can talk.”
She nodded and rushed into my arms again. After a few moments she pulled away, and with a shaky breath she outlined exactly what had happened to her, from being taken in the parking lot to arriving at the penthouse and learning who had ordered her capture.
“He didn’t do anything to me, not really, but just being there, not sure if I was going to live or die at any moment.” A shiver ran over her body as if she were physically shaking off her distress. “And his men … I was just grateful the guys took them out as soon as you all came for me.”
I wrapped her up in a tight embrace, her limbs trembling as she fought off the memories. She was done for the day. “I’m always here if you need to talk.” Because I knew she would eventually, once she could unpack everything. It was just too fresh now, but it was a good start.
“I know it’s not fair since I’m the one who took off, but I don’t know if I trust Zane and Sebastian.” She pulled away, mouth quirking to the side, as if she were battling through the inner turmoil raging inside her.
I nodded, not because I didn’t trust them, but because I could understand why she didn’t. She wasn’t used to this life; the crime families, the gangs, everything was new to her, and the fight-club owner was as close to a gang leader as she’d ever gotten, aside from us.
“And when they follow me around, I’m just reminded of that night.
If I’d only stayed inside, or stayed with Zane, it might not have happened,” she said.
“It reminds me of how weak I am, which is why I haven’t really been putting up much of a fight when it comes to working out with you and Merrick.
I want to be prepared; I want to know how to protect myself without having to rely on a man to watch my every step. ”
“Or they could’ve gotten into the club and taken you either way,” I said, not wanting her to place the blame solely on her shoulders.
“We’ll never know. But I do think they’re only looking out for you, and I know they’re carrying a lot of guilt on their shoulders.
And I understand wanting to protect yourself, which is why we’ll never stop training, but in the meantime we do need their help. ”
“I know.” Her shoulders slumped slightly in defeat.
“But Kellan is going to speak with them about holding back a little. There has to be a happy medium we can reach.”
“Good luck telling them that. But I’m grateful for any reprieve at this point.” A soft smile played on her lips. “I guess we should get started with the training if there’s any hope of me being able to defend myself.”
I got the pads out and instructed her to perform the different kicks and punches, positioning the pads in a different place for each one.
I only had to correct her stance a few times, and she was truly grasping the basics.
“Now we just have to work on your strength and how to anticipate an attack and block.”
“Just?” She chuckled, doubling over to catch her breath. “That sounds like a lot more than you’ll be able to teach me in one lesson.”