Chapter 1
CHAPTER ONE
GRAMERCY
My name is Gramercy. Yes, that’s really my name.
I’ve tried to shorten it but every attempt sounds ridiculous.
I was named after a very famous New York City park.
The actual park is gated and covers two acres of prime real estate.
It’s private and only those who hold the coveted key are allowed in.
There are a lot of rules: you can’t drink alcohol, smoke, ride a bike, walk a dog, play sports, feed a bird or a squirrel.
Believe it or not, the biggest offense is taking a photo.
Sometimes I see people sneak their phone out and quickly take a picture.
I’m thinking like who is watching and better yet, who the hell cares.
So basically, you can walk the two miles around the park or sit on a bench, that’s it.
The craziest thing is some people would give their eye teeth for that key.
It’s a great place to people watch or to think through your troubles.
For me, it’s a place to reinvent myself.
We all reinvent ourselves at least once in our lifetime. I think I’m on number five.
As a young widow, with no clue about what came next, I made the decision to go away to college, thinking I could get away from everything, you know—escape the pain.
Unfortunately, that kind of stuff only happens in the movies.
I think that was my first attempt at reinventing myself.
Unfortunately, my mom died in a car wreck when I was in my last year of college.
I came home to tie up my mother’s loose ends. Once I was home, I never left.
After that, my grandmother was never the same.
No parent should outlive their child. She died not too long after my mom.
I really believe she died of a broken heart.
I stayed in my mom’s condo, upstairs from my grandfather, so I could look after him.
Almost twenty years later, and it’s still my mom’s condo.
Grandpa Jerry is a stubborn eighty-five-year-old retired history professor who is very opinionated.
After Grandma died, he decided to get a small dog to keep him company.
The dog hates me but as far as Grandpa is concerned, the sun rises and sets with Chica-the-nasty-ass-Chihuahua.
No offense against the breed but I swear the bitch smiles as she snaps at me.
He hired a dog walker named Teri, but Chica wanted no part of that.
After that epic fail, he trained her to use a litter box.
Teri still comes by every day to take Chica to the park, along with Grandpa.
He said it’s good for Chica’s socialization.
I think he enjoys Teri’s visits more than Chica does.
It doesn’t matter to me, I’m just happy to have that dog out of my hair for an hour a day.
I’ve never entertained a long-term relationship.
Oh, now don’t get me wrong, I’ve come close a few times, but Grandpa always found something wrong with them.
In the end, he was usually right. However, it doesn’t stop me from trying.
Which leads me to my newest endeavor with my best friend, Calliope.
We have a weekly blog called, “Crimes of the Heart: Dating Disasters 101.” It’s a blog for women re-entering the dating scene after a breakup or putting themselves out there for the first time.
The blog is free but, for a small fee, you can get private coaching on how to use the different online dating sites.
They have been popping up everywhere. The blog is fun, but it’s the coaching that makes us a lot of money.
You’d be surprised how many people have all the latest gadgets and have no clue how to use them.
We set up an office in Grandpa’s spare bedroom.
Which, at the time, seemed like a good idea.
However, I’ve come to realize there is way too much togetherness.
So, I break it up by meeting with Calliope at the park every Wednesday to discuss the next post and, basically, get myself out of the house.
I take questions and suggestions from our subscribers.
Calliope and I talk about the dates we went on the prior week.
Sometimes they work out but then the six-month rule kicks in and it’s time to move on.
Oh, in case you don’t know about the six-month rule, it’s simple.
It’s like your cleaning lady. They start out good and after six months they start breaking your stuff.
I believe this is how the entire world should operate.
Anyway, I had to re-invent myself once again.
That’s how I stumbled into coaching, and it really took off.
Everything is done via Skype. I teach men and women who are entering back into the dating scene how to navigate the new dating websites that are popping up everywhere.
The biggest obstacle for most people is knowing what to say about themselves in their bio.
That’s where Calliope comes in. She is a contemporary romance author.
I navigate the tech side of the website and handle all the payments.
I’m the back of the house and she is front of the house.
Everything seemed to be going well until I got a panic text from Calliope to meet her in the park.
However, it’s been an hour since her message and now I’m starting to worry.
I head to the gate and I see her running up the block, flailing her arms to either get my attention or to chase away the pigeons.
I open the gate for her, and we go to a more secluded area.
We find a bench and have a seat. I give Calliope a minute to catch her breath.
“Now that you’ve settled in, do you mind telling me why you texted me in a panic?” She rolls her eyes as she draws in a deep breath.
“Did you see the morning news?”
“You know I don’t watch the news. There is never anything good and mark my words, eventually, people will realize most of it is fake just to sell papers.”
“I know but Grandpa Jerry always has it on, so I thought for sure you would have caught the broadcast about the dating site for mature people.” Now she’s got my attention.
“Why don’t you fill me in on what I missed.”
“Apparently, one of the members is conning women out of their savings. I looked to see if any of our clients were involved, and they weren’t.”
“Did they catch him?”
“No. He keeps changing his profile and using fake pictures; total catfishing.”
“Do you think that will cut into our business? You know people are already skittish about online dating, this might make them shy away from it.”
“Where are they going to go? A bar, rely on a friend for a hook up? All of that is becoming the past. The world is on the cusp of changing.” She is way too excited about this. There must be more.
“What aren’t you telling me?”
“I want to make up a fake profile to lure him in.” At this, I throw my hands up in the air and look to the heavens for some sort of guidance.
“Why, would what possess you to do that?” Some days I sound more and more like Grandpa Jerry.
“I want to write a book about the man who scammed the people, how he did it and if they found love afterwards. Don’t you think it would make a great book?”
When she puts it like that, it makes perfect sense.
“Okay, I guess I’m in. What do you need me to do?”
“Well, I’m going to jazz up your profile to something I think would make you sound less savvy to the dating scene.
Hopefully, he will see it and try to contact you.
For now, you don’t have to do anything.” A smile lights up her face as she pats my hand.
“Don’t worry, Gramercy, it’s no different from any of our other adventures.
Besides, you know I’ll tell you when it’s time to worry.
Now, I’ve got to get started on your profile.
I’ll be by later this afternoon.” I give her a narrow-eyed look as she gets up and heads out the gate.
She always tells me not to worry but, I think this time, I need to.