Chapter 3
CHAPTER THREE
GRAMERCY
Three days have passed, and I’ve got zero hits.
Calliope, on the other hand, has gotten six hits.
One of them she has been going back and forth with for the past two days!
Truth be told, my heart is not really into my own love life.
After what she told me, I’m more fixated on Calliope.
Besides, I’m doing this to help capture Mr. Con Job.
The intercom buzzer snaps me out of my daydream and back into the real world. I quickly press the button to speak before he leans on it! “Yes, Grandpa, what do you need?”
“Why do you think every time I buzz you that I need something? Maybe I just want to talk to my beautiful granddaughter.” First, he’ll lay on the guilt, and then he will follow it up with what he needs. It’s a game we’ve been playing for years.
“Grandpa, do you want to have coffee together? I went to Zabar’s yesterday and loaded up on all your favorites. Why don’t you come upstairs?”
“Only if I can bring Chica with me.”
I hear him telling that damn dog how wonderful she is. “What happened to Teri? Shouldn’t she be there now to take Chica out?”
“She had a doctor’s appointment, so we are on our own today.”
“Grandpa, I’ll be down in a minute.” I disconnect and grab the Zabar’s bag filled with all his goodies and head downstairs. I find him all dressed up in a suit with his hat in his hand and Chica in his lap.
“What are you doing? Or more like, where do you think you’re going?” I try not to snap at him but, even to me, that came out as snippy as that damn dog. “I’m sorry, I didn’t mean to sound so…” He holds up his hand stopping me in mid thought.
“I understand and I don’t take it personal. It’s a nice day; I would like to go to the park. Do you think you have the time to spare? After all, you do seem a little frazzled.”
“I always have time for you, but what about Chica?” He gets that devilish smile which always makes me laugh.
“I have a plan. I’ll keep her under my coat, so no one sees her.” I help him with his coat and grab his cane as he stuffs that damn dog under his coat. I try to help him but Chica snarls at me, upper lip curl and all.
“Now, Gramercy, please remember when we are out, you need to call me Jerry. Grandpa sounds too old.”
I try not to laugh as we head to the park. “You know, Jerry, it’s a nice spring day, don’t you think people will wonder why you have a coat on?” Despite my best efforts, a little chuckle escapes.
“I’m old. Old people are always cold. No one will be the wiser. Don’t over think it.”
We have a seat on a bench that faces the street, so we can people watch. I love it just as much as he does, so I can’t call him out on it.
“Grandpa, do you want to share whatever it is you have on your mind?”
“Jerry, remember?—not Grandpa. Calliope filled me in about the dirtbag that is conning people out of their savings. I was thinking maybe you should make a profile for me. I’m not thinking that he is going to contact me, however, maybe some more people that have been conned would confide in me.”
“The last thing I need is my eight-five-year-old grandfather playing junior detective!” When I see Calliope, I’m going to rip her a new one. She feeds into his need to be a crime solver more often than not.
“I’m sitting at home with all the time in the world. What’s the big deal? It’s not like I’m going to do anything dangerous. I’m only going to talk to people online. Where is the harm in that? Isn’t that what you’re selling to all your clients?”
“There are a lot of things that can go wrong. Men are not the only predators out there, Jerry. Besides, what are you going to do when someone wants to meet you?”
“Thank you for remembering my name. Again, I’m only going to be talking on the computer. What harm could come to me? Besides, you live right upstairs; it’s not like you don’t keep tabs on me.” He turns toward me with a big-ass, cheesy grin, false teeth and all.
“I’ll agree to it, but there will be rules that you must follow.”
“Of course, there are rules, my dear, you are the queen of rules that I have to follow.”
“You know, like that Carole King song ‘Out in the Cold.’ She is right when she says, ‘yesterday’s dreams are tomorrow’s heartaches.’ If you don’t follow the rules, that’s what happens. You can’t, under any circumstances, meet anyone in person.” He takes my hand and gives it a squeeze.
“And to think you yell at me for always quoting Frank Reagan and here you are quoting Carole King. Don’t worry, I promise I will behave.
Okay, it’s time to head back home. Calliope is coming over to set up my profile.
” He’s laughing as he gets up and we head toward home.
Somehow, I think I just got snickered by an eighty-five-year-old man and my best friend.
By the time we got home, Grandpa was so excited that he needed a nap.
At his age, this is not uncommon. I’ve got time before Calliope gets here, so I make a few notes to go over with her for the blog post. I quickly check on my dating profile to see if I have any hits, you know—always the optimist. Expecting nothing, I open it and am surprised by the wave notification from Approved by My Dog.
Behind the wave is a picture of a guy with a cowboy hat on that is dipped down low.
He is looking down at the dog in his lap.
I think it’s a bully breed. Now why would anyone put this type of picture up unless they are trying to hide who they are?
Of course, the focus goes right to the dog.
My finger is hovering over the delete button when Calliope’s voice shouts over the intercom.
I nearly jump out of my skin. I buzz her in and wait .
. . nothing. Finally, I give up and close my laptop.
Mr. Mysterious can wait till later. When I get downstairs, I find Grandpa in a suit, and Calliope putting some face cream on him that she swears is going to help his wrinkles.
Now don’t get me wrong, I love my grandpa but he is eight-five years old; he’s going to have wrinkles!
“Grandpa, what on earth are you doing?”
“I’m getting ready for my picture!” Apparently, this is becoming a very big deal for him.
“I told Jerry he needs a great picture to go along with the profile I wrote for him.”
“So, you two were in cahoots all along; it didn’t matter what I said.”
“Awe, come on, Gramercy, don’t be like that. If you really don’t want me to do it, then I won’t. I just want to have a little fun, that’s all. And, of course, help you gals figure out who this guy is.” There’s that guilt again.
“Okay, let me hear your profile.”
“It’s still a work in progress.” She passes me her tablet.
I’m an eighty-five-year-old retired history professor who loves dogs.
Well, at least my Chihuahua: Chica. I don’t sit around watching television all day but when I do, I watch Blue Bloods.
I have very few heroes in life, and Frank Reagan is one of them.
I enjoy all the museums that New York City has to offer, along with some of the best food finds.
If you want to know more, let’s grab a coffee.
“I have to say, this is really good. Now, Grandpa, you need to remember the rules.”
“When you remember my name is Jerry.” I can feel the vein in my temple start to throb.
“How about I make some coffee while you and Jerry work this out,” Calliope offers as she heads into the kitchen, leaving me to deal with him.
“I thought I was only supposed to call you Jerry when we were out. Can’t you continue to be Grandpa the rest of the time?” My voice is strained at this point. I don’t know if I should laugh or cry.
“Yes, Gramercy, however, since you keep forgetting, I thought it would be good for you to practice.” He gets up and gives my cheek a quick peck as he heads into the kitchen, but then he stops and turns toward me.
“You know, Al Pacino is not much younger than me, and he is still going strong with women who are younger than you.” He laughs and walks off as Chica growls at me like the demon dog she is.
I sure hope this plan does not put Jerry in danger.