46. Dante
Dante
T he look of betrayal she wore sliced through me.
Looking at her hurt. Hearing the tremors in her voice hurt. It tore at my chest; it suffocated. My jaw clenched as I stared at her. The sight of her glimmering blue eyes staring at me with so much pain that it suffocated me.
I stood up, putting my hands into my pockets. They shook with the fear of losing her.
Fucking Christ.
I had to get a grip. Studying her face, I searched for words. I couldn’t find any. Maybe I could start at the beginning.
“Let me explain, Wildling.”
She was on me in the next breath. I fought my instinct to block her. I wouldn’t be able to live with myself if I hurt her, so I forced my every muscle to remain still while she held a blade to my throat. And by the look on her face, she wanted to slice it.
“Shut the fuck up before I shove this knife up your ass,” she gritted on a hiss, blue lightning flashing in her eyes. “Or down your throat. And don’t think I won’t,” she threatened, although she really didn’t have to. I fucking believed her. “In fact, I’ll enjoy it very much.”
Jesus H. Christ.
I’d worried about Sasha Nikolaev’s unhinged ass at my wedding. No wonder he smirked, the fucker probably knew Juliette was just as nuts as he was.
But then I knew that. Didn’t I?
The evidence was right in front of my face all along. Stealing. Kicking me in the balls. Destroying Grandfather’s car.
But then she repaired it, too , my reason whispered. My rationale made no fucking sense. Bottom line was that Juliette was slightly unhinged. Wild. Deadly, even.
Although in this instance I couldn’t blame her. I’d hurt her. I’d betrayed her.
A buzz of trepidation crawled up my spine and snaked into my veins. My little brother was right. I should have told her and begged for forgiveness. She shouldn’t have found out this way.
Fuck, fuck, fuck! Fuck!
A thousand icy needles pierced my skin and into my heart at the hate in her eyes. My heartbeat spiked with a panic I hadn’t felt in so long it stole my fucking breath from me.
“So what now?” Roughness edged my tone, my heart pounding hard enough to bruise me. “That’s it? We’re not going to talk it through?”
She glared at me, then smiled. Darkly. “Talk about what?” she hissed.
“How you drugged me?” The vein in her neck pulsed, her hand holding the knife slightly trembled.
“Did you grope me while I was all compliant and under the influence?” She sneered.
“You must have realized it was the only way you could get me to bed, huh? You’re just like them. ”
Them. There was my confirmation. Secrets she kept close to her heart. Comparison to them felt like a bullet to my heart. Fury and tension knifed through my gut. Getting stabbed hurt less than this.
“I didn’t touch you,” I gritted. My jaw clenched so hard it shot pain to my temples. “Not even when you tried to grope me and rip my clothes off.”
“You fucking lied to me,” she roared, her bottom lip trembling. The sharp blade of her knife pressed harder against my skin. Warm liquid trickled down my throat and I guessed she cut the skin.
I could taste her anger on my tongue. It simmered and simmered, until it exploded. Like a volcano.
“Did it ever occur to you to ask me to marry you?” she roared. “Or to ask me out on a date?” The pain on her face was like a punch in the gut. “No, you didn’t even bother to ask me what I wanted. You went to my father. Why? Because you wanted to force my hand?”
“That wasn’t my intention.”
It didn’t matter. I’d shattered her heart. Maybe I deserved her wrath.
Except, I loved her. I couldn’t live without her. It took every ounce of effort to swallow past the lump in my throat.
“I love you, Wildling,” I said, my voice low. It might not have been the best time to profess my love but here it was. I was putting it all out there. “I’ve loved you for so fucking long. I waited for you to come around. To give us a chance. But you’re so goddamn stubborn.”
The expression on her face told me clearly she didn’t care about my justification—nor my love—but I kept talking anyhow. I still held on to the hope that she’d see the reasoning behind my actions.
“Let me fix it,” I begged. The words burned my throat like alcohol against a raw wound. “Let me prove to you that I’m worthy of your love.”
Her lip curved into a snicker, disgust crossing her expression.
“Love,” she snickered. “I don’t fucking love you. I could never love someone so fucking manipulative.”
She might as well have sliced my throat because those words were a stab to my cold black heart. It hurt like a motherfucker. But I kept my expression detached while the wheels in my brain turned.
A lengthy silence filled the space between us, strangling my lungs. I wished, just like when I was a little boy, that I could turn back time and make it alright. Fix it before it all went to hell.
The air crackled with tension and a thousand needles pricked my skin. My gaze fixed on my wife, I tasted her hate. Her bitterness. Her pain.
“I’m leaving you,” she said, her voice full of unrestrained loathing. “And you won’t be coming after me.”
I leaned forward, letting the cold blade press harder against my skin. “I’ll always follow you, Wildling.” I couldn’t let her go. I’d never let her go. “Besides, you made a promise,” I reminded her, “never to run.”
“That was before I knew what a pig you were.” Her eyes turned a shade lighter, as if her pain were bleeding into them. “You are fucking crazy if you think I’ll ever forgive you, Dante,” she hissed. “I can’t even stand to look at you.”
Okay, that fucking hurt.
A sardonic breath left me, hiding my own pain and focusing on hers. “You are so fucking stubborn. You’re attracted to me. You can feel it. Yet you’d rather cling to your hate and choose to end something that could be good for both of us.”
She scoffed. “Excuse me for not just falling down to my knees for you. You got some fucking nerve. You drugged me. Married me without my consent. And now you just want me to overlook it and pretend it never happened. Is that it?”
It sounded worse when spoken aloud, but she knew I never touched her. We were bound to end up together. She knew it. Deep down, I knew she did.
“I was fucking wrong, yes,” I said, letting out a bitter laugh. “But I’d been patient for goddamn months. Years.”
“So you decided it was time to drug me,” she noted calmly. Dangerously.
“It was the wrong thing to do,” I repeated, my jaw clenching so tight that it made my ears buzz.
“I didn’t touch you that night. I just rumpled the sheets and slept next to you.
Even when you tried to strip my clothes off, I made sure they remained on.
” Her cheeks burned, but not from arousal. This time it was from her fury.
“You broke my trust,” she finally said, and it tore me apart. “This is over.”
“Far from over. There’s no divorce in our world,” I snapped. “You know that as well as I do. It was the reason my father couldn’t marry your aunt.”
Our gazes clashed and so did our wills. I should have known she wasn’t the forgiving type.
“Then we’ll be married, but we won’t live together.”
She whirled around, leaving the faint scent of sugarplums behind. Every fiber in me urged me to go after her, but I knew it wasn’t the right time.
“Don’t leave town or I’ll go to war with your family,” I warned softly, but the vehemence showed through.
It had the desired effect. Juliette stilled by the door, her posture stiff and her hand gripping the knife, probably contemplating throwing it across the room and lodging it into my heart.
“I’ll tear this world apart for you,” I vowed.
She didn’t say anything else. She didn’t even acknowledge my words.
My throat worked with a hard swallow past the lump lodged there while a horrible ache in my chest swelled. The tension barely held me upright and I folded over, hands on my knees. The pressure inside me strangled my heart and my lungs, making me suffocate from the inside out.
Slam.
The mansion shook and the house of cards started crumbling.
Then there was silence. Empty and hollow. Just like me.