Chapter 10
Chapter Ten
Isabelle
The things I do for my friends.
It’s eleven o’clock in the morning and I’m at the last place I want to be.
I’m sitting in the bleachers at the football stadium, freezing my ass off. I’ve been here for nearly three hours.
The appeal of watching seriously hot men run around on a football field is a fantasy shared by most girls I know—like the ones around me watching them.
However, it’s lost on me. I can’t say that I was never one of those girls because up until last September, I was. I’ll go as far as to admit that I would have been in the front row and right within Kade’s line of sight. Anything for him to notice me.
Today I’m here for Mackenzie. It’s the first time the captain of the cheerleading squad has allowed all the girls who made the team last semester to train during football practice.
The cheerleaders at Raventhorn are top-notch and no different from the professionals working for NFL teams like the Dallas Cowboys. Some of the girls on the team in their junior and senior years even have places with teams like that when they graduate.
So as good as Mackenzie was when she first came to Raventhorn, she still had to go through the trial period of rigorous training and assessments.
She was super nervous—which is quite unlike her—so she asked me to come along and watch her.
She knows my recent loathing for the team’s quarterback—although I’ve kept the crazy developments with Kade and his friends to myself.
But Mackenzie looked desperate, and I’m aware she’s worried about the whole marriage thing. When I read that worry in her eyes as she begged me to go with her I didn’t have the heart to say no. Or to lie and make up some excuse like I was busy. All our other friends are busy with actual work, and she knew I was free.
This week is the last easy week before we all become inundated with classes and assignments, but some of our professors have already started issuing prep work. Professor Belle, my art professor, is the only one who seems to be going easy on her students. That worked great for me, so I could focus on finishing my sculpture and prep for my interview with the Lord Chancellor.
But the free time is not so great for instances like these.
Although I’ve tried my best to stay calm, my focus has been split between watching her, watching Kade, and trying to look like I’m ignoring Kade when I catch him looking at me.
Being here is like walking into the devil’s lair. The moment he spotted me, I saw him and Dmitri whispering. Then they looked at me and the unwanted tension already coursing through my body wrapped around my nerves like a million ropes.
I hate feeling like this, and because the countdown to my departure is still so far away, the lure of leaving isn’t working.
At least one good thing happened—I got a text from Micheal this morning checking in for tonight. So it looks like our date is still on.
It made me wonder if maybe Kade had changed his tactics. But I don’t know, and I don’t think he has.
There was something about the way he was with me the other night that felt… different. Possessive different . I’m not sure if that’s the right way to describe the vibe I sensed from him but that’s how I felt.
"Go team, fight!” The cheerleaders chant, and I shift my gaze to them on the sidelines.
They stand in a line, vibrant and energetic, a stark contrast to the intense focus on the field.
Their navy and white uniforms displaying the team’s colors are bright and just as radiant as they are. With their pom-poms in hand, they begin a routine moving in perfect synchrony, their motions sharp and precise.
Their voices rise in the rhythmic chant, the words punctuated by jumps and kicks that show off their athleticism. Their enthusiasm is infectious. Even I in my sullen mood can feel it.
Mackenzie looks freaking amazing. Like she’s been part of the team all her life. The best part is knowing that what I’m seeing her do is just a taste of what she does in ballet.
I catch her smiling at me and I smile back, feeling proud of her. Yet I feel guilty at the same time.
How could Kade know that I’m planning to leave Raventhorn when I haven’t told my friends yet?
They’re going to be upset with me and I’ll feel worse because I already know I’m going to miss them so damn much.
Luckily Kade didn’t spread the word. I didn’t think he would because he probably assumed they knew and it’s not exactly newsworthy. Besides, he practically told me to leave when he was so horrible to me last year at that party.
Earlier, as I finished off my sculpture, I decided I’d tell everyone on Sunday.
By then everything should be settled and I will have done all the official stuff. The only thing that might be left is the external review of my sculpture from Harvard.
It might be sensible to complete that first, but I don’t know how long I can go on keeping this secret.
Loud cheers from everyone pull my focus back and I see Kade has the ball. The sun casts a golden glow over him as if he’s just taken center stage and he races toward the end zone as if strokes of lightning are attached to his feet.
All you can see is the speed of him and the number sixteen on his jersey moving across the field.
He has everyone’s attention. Including mine. Even if I wanted to, I can’t look away. I’ve never seen anyone move like him. He’s running at the speed of light but with such precision and grace that he looks unreal. He manages to do all that while evading the groups of defenders who rush at him.
The linemen burst into action, blocking and pushing, creating a pocket for Kade to run through. He sails past with the ball cradled securely in his hands.
They chase him, coming at him on all sides. When he looks to his left I know he’s searching for Dmitri. I’ve watched them for so many years that I know they work as a unit.
When the defenders think Kade is going to keep going, he throws the ball and it spirals through the air, sailing toward Dmitri.
He catches it and lures the defenders toward him, which is exactly what the two planned.
Dmitri takes them off track, clearing another path for Kade, and just when he’s far enough he throws the ball right back to Kade.
The moment he catches it, it’s game over because no one will be able to keep up with him.
Kade runs forward, continuing his pursuit to the end zone, and scores the winning touchdown
The whistle blows and the play is over, and everyone goes wild.
If this were a real live game in the championships they would lose their minds.
Their energy ripples through the air like electricity. It rises with the cheers.
Kade pulls off his helmet and the cheers grow, just for him. As if he’s a god.
I guess he is.
He acknowledges his teammates who rush up to him with their high fives and fist bumps. He and Dmitri do their habitual dap handshake, then Kade looks right at me. And because of where I’m sitting it’s very noticeable that he’s looking at me.
At that moment I experience a different kind of awareness that I never expected.
It’s bad enough when one of the most popular guys on campus starts stalking you but when he’s the star athlete who everyone worships and he looks at you the way Kade is looking at me… well… that’s a whole other story. Especially if you’re me— invisible Isabelle .
Again I try to look away, but as I take in the way his jersey clings to his hard, muscular body, I remember how it felt to be pressed up against him.
Thankfully it’s he who looks away first.
I catch my breath and breathe past the constriction in my lungs. I look back to the sidelines and try to find Mackenzie. She’s talking away with one of the girls but spots me and waves.
She holds up her hands and mouths the words thirty minutes to me.
I give her a thumbs-up and nod.
Ten minutes later everyone clears the field. I purposely head to the hallway on the other side of the stadium to wait for Mackenzie. Here I can avoid the crowd. And Kade.
There are only a handful of players and cheerleaders nearby milling about on the field, but they leave a few minutes later.
I just hope Mackenzie hurries. She has a way of getting caught up in every conversation. Mention a sale at Neiman Marcus or Nordstrom, or even that they have the latest line of designerwear available, and she’s all yours. She’ll be talking for hours and planning the first chance she can get to shop till she drops.
It’s okay sometimes and I understand her excitement because I love shopping, too. It’s just that I don’t want to be around here for longer than I have to.
The sound of a low wolf whistle cuts into my thoughts and I make the mistake of looking around.
My eyes meet Kade’s piercing blues and I can’t even pretend that I didn’t see him.
Damn it . I should have chosen a better place to wait. Or better yet, I should have left. After all, cheerleading practice is over and Mackenzie doesn’t need me anymore.
I only decided to hang around because we planned to have lunch in the city.
Now I’ve landed myself right in the path of my nemesis.
“There she is,” he taunts.
I keep my gaze fixed on him, hoping his friends don’t come out, too. I didn’t see Logan but that doesn’t mean he’s not here.
Still dressed in his uniform, Kade makes his way toward me with the ease and grace of a jungle cat. Sweat-drenched hair sticks to his face and that masculine scent of power and allure oozes from him.
I pray he’ll just keep going and walk past me like he’s done for the last three years. But he doesn’t. He stops right in front of me and scans my body from head to toe. A sign of how different things are between us.
A lazy smile inches across his lips and he cocks his head to the side, still perusing my body as if I’m a piece of fresh meat.
I stare back at him with that constant question in my mind— what did I do to you ?
“I’m touched. Looks like the little doll decided to take my advice and stick around at Raventhorn.”
Little doll.
Lolita.
It’s all the same jab to me, and after what happened the other night I just want to get as far away from him as possible.
“What do you want?”
“Can’t I just come over and say hi?” He places his hand over his heart like some kind of patron saint.
“No. But you can leave me alone.”
“What’s this you’re wearing?”
He’s doing that thing again where he simply changes the subject. I noticed it the other night.
He reaches out and tries to touch the blazer and the scarf around my neck, but I swat his hand away. “You look like a Japanese schoolgirl.”
I don’t bother to tell him he’s right. My outfit came straight from Japan and it is inspired by the Japanese school uniform of pleated skirt, bow tie and shirt with the matching blazer.
“I can dress however I want.”
“Yeah, and get the boys all worked up because you’re playing dress-up.”
“No one is getting worked up. And I’m not playing dress-up.”
“Not so sure about that.”
“Why are you talking to me?” I harden my gaze and try to slow my breathing to mask the uneasy effect he has on me. “You don’t usually speak to me.”
He answers with a wolfish grin. “You wouldn’t like living in England.”
There. He did it again, but this subject change was to avoid answering my question.
“Why wouldn’t I like living there?” I decide to humor him. Maybe he’ll leave me alone if I do.
“You’d be bored.”
“I think I’ll be just fine, thank you very much. England is a beautiful country.”
“Sure, it is. I just think you’d be bored there.”
I search his eyes, take in the flicker of wild interest and try to figure him out. As usual I can’t, so I decide to cut to the chase. “I thought you’d be thrilled to hear I’m leaving. Didn’t you say I didn’t deserve to be at Raventhorn? That I was beneath you all?”
He gives me a lopsided grin that infuriates me. “But I never told you to leave, did I?”
“You might as well. Anyway, it doesn’t matter. I’m leaving.”
“But you’ll miss my next game.”
“So what?” I raise my brows.
“You missed the last one.”
That gives me pause. Of course I missed the last game. It was just after he talked to me like shit. There was no way in hell I was going to watch him play after that.
But I didn’t expect him to notice that I wasn’t there. Not when there were at least three thousand people there and his host of admirers. I heard some girl tattooed his name on her ass —which she showed him and everyone else—and promised to have his babies.
Kade gives me a small smile and then, to my surprise, he pulls off his jersey right there in front of me.
My brain empties and my mouth waters as my eyes glue to his naked torso decked out with rock-hard, tattooed abs and a happy trail of dark hair leading all the way down past the waistband of his football pants.
He catches me looking and decides to shock me further by undoing the top buttons.
“What the hell are you doing?” I rasp out, giving him a bewildered stare.
“Changing.”
“Out here ?”
“I don’t see anyone complaining.” He pretends to look around.
“I’m complaining.”
“Are you? Because you’re looking at me like you like what you see, so…”
This is ridiculous. He’s screwing with me again. It’s almost more jarring than him following me. “I have to go.” Sorry Mackenzie. I’ll catch up with you later.
I step away from him but he stops me by pushing out his arm and pressing a hand to the wall to block me in.
I turn to go the other way and he does the same thing, barricading me with the width of his body, which is now far too close to me.
He looms closer and stops an inch away from my lips, then he just stares at me.
This is like the other night, but different. He wasn’t half naked then.
“What is the matter with you?”
“Nothing.”
“Then leave me alone.”
“What if I don’t want to?” His voice is playful with that teasing tone.
“You need to. Now, if you’ll excuse me, I’m busy, so let me go.”
“You won’t be busy tonight.”
The moment he says that dark dread settles in the pit of my stomach.
Micheal.
Kade’s screwed with my date. “What have you done?”
“Nothing.” An air of menace slips into his voice. “I just know Micheal won’t be able to make your date tonight. Something’s going to come up and he’ll have to cancel.”
“You asshole! Why are you doing this to me?” I’ve lost control and now I can’t keep my voice from shaking. “Because you don’t want me, no one else must have me?”
He holds my gaze and the light of fascination dances in his eyes. “I never said I didn’t want you, Lolita.”
My throat goes dry and I can’t swallow. “You’re screwing with my mind again.”
“Am I?”
“Yes, and I don’t care. Leave me alone and stop sabotaging my dates.”
“No.”
“Why?” I breathe out, trying to sound firm and assertive.
Kade reaches for a lock of my hair and lifts it to his nose to inhale, then he inches even closer until he’s at my ear. “They all wanted to fuck you.”
My cheeks heat at his lewd words and the crassness of his tone.
“I wasn’t going to let that happen. You don’t belong to them, Isabelle.”
My breath hitches and my lungs become so tight and heavy they feel like lead inside my chest. “I belong to myself.”
“No, you don’t.”
I turn to face him so our lips are inches apart again. “Then who do I belong to?”
“ Me .”
I stop breathing, my heart racing, beating harder until it starts pounding against my ribcage.
His eyes darken to the shade of the sky before an oncoming storm, and he leans closer. His lips brush against mine, shocking me down to the depths of my core, and I feel like I’ve slipped out of my skin.
He angles his face, like he’s actually going to kiss me—properly. Not just a taste. As he inches closer my mind rids itself of logic and reasoning and suddenly, I’m high school Isabelle again. The girl who was crazy about Kade Gurkovsky.
Time slows and I can almost feel his lips on mine.
“Isabelle.” Mackenzie’s voice snaps into the moment and Kade pulls back.
His eyes cloud and his expression resumes that darkness I’ve witnessed in him for the last few months.
Whatever the hell spell it was that made him almost kiss me is broken, but it’s left me feeling like I’m walking on thin ice with spikes on the soles of my shoes.
I look at Mackenzie, who has gone as pale as I feel. She glances from me to Kade, takes in his shirtless form, and I swear her skin turns even paler.
Kade straightens and I look back at him.
“Remember what I said.”
As if I could forget.
Tearing his gaze away from me he walks away, proceeding down the path past Mackenzie.
The two of us watch him until he goes through the swinging doors that lead into the changing rooms.
Mackenzie looks back at me, wide-eyed, and rushes up to me. “What the hell just happened?” She blurts in one breath.
“I… um… Nothing.”
“That did not look like nothing to me.” Her eyes are still as wide as saucers. “He had no shirt on and hello, yes, the man is hot and wanted by every woman with eyes but when I last checked, you two were enemies.”
“We are enemies, and it was nothing . You know what he’s like.”
“Yeah, exactly. Isabelle?—”
“Mackenzie, please.” I shake my head and press my cold fingers to my warm cheeks. “Can we just go? Please. I’m completely tapped out.”
She looks like she wants to continue questioning me, but I’m thankful when she nods and drops the subject.
The truth is I don’t have an answer for her. I don’t even have an answer for myself. I don’t know what the hell just happened with Kade but it’s left my head spinning with confusion.
“Sure. Let’s go to that deli you like. Maybe we can eat in the park.” Mackenzie smiles.
“That sounds great.” I need to get off campus and get some fresh air somewhere away from here.
“Come on.”
We leave but I feel more conflicted than ever.
What are you doing to me, Kade?
And since when do I belong to you?