Chapter 13
Chapter Thirteen
Isabelle
I was fifteen when I first watched The Green Mile . Afterwards I was always fearful of getting myself into a situation that I couldn’t get out of, then having to suffer the same sort of condemnation as John Coffey, the prisoner in the movie.
My situation is not like his. He was innocent. I am guilty. But the same fear I felt years ago when I saw the movie is with me now as I walk down the long, long hallway of the office building with Tiffany.
She’s here as my superior and is supposed to represent me and offer the same support a lawyer would if I’d been arrested.
Unlike the guards in the movie who felt compassion for Coffey, Tiffany wants my head on a spike in front of the building for all to see. If she were in the movie and I were the prisoner, I would have been executed by firing squad in my cell for what I did.
It’s safe to say that my inner Harley Quinn has somersaulted out the building, leaving the real me— who is terrified —to face the consequences.
Things were bad when I thought I was going to be dealt with by Tiffany. I thought I’d be given the third degree and punished. But no, no, no.
The situation got a whole lot worse when campus security came to haul me away, placed me in what looked like an interrogation room for two hours, then informed me that I had to see Aleksander Ivanov.
It’s because of the fire. It’s classed as arson—a criminal offense.
The fact that I set Kade’s bike ablaze on Raventhorn property and apparently nearly damaged the hundred-year-old statue of one of the founding Knights is why I’m here.
I destroyed personal property, nearly damaged what the school classes as a relic, and put people in danger when the bike exploded.
Of course I never intended the latter, or to damage the statue. I thought I moved the bike far enough away that no one would be in danger.
I know it wasn’t the case; it’s just an excuse to stab me in the back.
Thorne and Caspian tried to save me, but what can you do when over a hundred witnesses saw you commit the crime in broad daylight?
Right now I actually don’t know what’s going to happen to me.
The one thing I’m sure of is Kade’s threat, which is singing in my head like a bad song I can’t shake.
Tiffany and I turn the corner, and I spot Aleksander’s office at the end. I’ve never had any reason to see him here until now.
When we reach the door Tiffany faces me with a heavy scowl on her heavily made-up face.
“I hope he expels your ass,” she spits in a venomous tone.
So much for support. Not that I expected actual support from her, but it would have been nice if she’d just said nothing at all.
Like me. I don’t reply.
She knocks on the door. Aleksander calls out for us to come in.
Tiffany opens the door, and a wave of anxiety hits me as we walk inside. This office is nothing like Chancellor Potalov’s.
The room feels imposing with its heavy, burgundy curtains and rows of bookshelves crammed with textbooks and binders. Everything feels like it's judging me.
When we walk past the shelves my eyes find Aleksander’s scrutinizing stare waiting for me as he straightens behind his desk.
“Thank you, Miss Vasilyev, you may leave the detainee with me,” he says to Tiffany, but he keeps his eyes on me.
“Thank you, my lord.” She dips her head in a respectful bow, almost looking like the dutiful president she’s supposed to be.
She leaves us, and as the door swings shut behind me the sound it makes echoes through my soul.
“Isabelle Kolyav, take a seat.” Aleksander points to the chair in front of him.
I sit and meet his gaze once more. The last time we sat together like this was after my mother was killed.
We’d had several meetings where I identified the shooter, but that last meeting was where Aleksander told me that he thought I’d made up hearing another man in the room. The case was dismissed after that and marked as solved because they had the shooter.
“What do you have to say for yourself?” His gaze intensifies and the furrow lines on his forehead deepen.
Where do I start? I have no idea. I just know I’m not to bullshit him or beg.
The man before me could order my death simply for not liking me. He wouldn’t need to give a reason. He is the law as far as the Knights are concerned.
“I’m sorry for what I did, my lord.”
“Sorry for which part?”
Good question . It also tells me he can see straight through me. He knows I’m not sorry for setting Kade’s bike on fire.
“It wasn’t my intention for things to get out of hand.” That is hopefully a good no-bullshit answer. I didn’t lie and I didn’t tell the truth.
“Very well. What you have done is very serious. If damage were done to school property or anyone was harmed you’d be out of my school and I’d be pressing charges.” He pauses for a moment. “Fortunately for you, the fire department was able to contain the fire and prevent any damage to the statue.”
“I’m glad.”
“I imagine so. However, with that said, what you’ve done cannot go unpunished, so I’m placing you on probation for the rest of the semester.”
“Probation?” Meaning I could still be expelled. “What will that involve?”
“Good grades and good behavior, which leads me to the next item on my agenda. Mr. Gurkovsky has stated that he won’t be pressing charges for what you did to his motorcycle.”
I could almost laugh. Of course he’s not pressing charges because he wants to keep me trapped at Raventhorn. If he pressed charges that would push the odds in favor of my expulsion.
“Really?” I feign ignorance.
“Yes, really. I think that was quite generous of him.”
“ He destroyed my sculpture.” My tone is sharp. Too sharp in relation to whom I’m speaking to.
Aleksander gives me a narrowed look and I can see just how much he dislikes me. “There is no evidence that Kade did that, so I can’t hold him liable based only on your word.”
Oh my God. This isn’t happening. “But he did it, and he’s been stalking me. That’s why I did what I did. Don’t you think it’s strange that he’s letting me off the hook when I completely destroyed his bike?”
“That is none of my concern. I deal with facts, not speculation.”
“But the cameras?—”
“Are blank.”
Damn it to hell.
My body suddenly feels heavy. Like someone just poured a vat of lead into my veins. Kade tampered with the cameras. Why did I think he’d leave evidence behind to prove his guilt?
“I understand you were in the process of transferring to Cambridge.”
“Yes, however the destruction of my sculpture invalidates my application.”
“I’m aware of that. Since it’s clear that someone did destroy your work, an investigation will be carried out. As your father is a valued member of my team, I will also submit a pass of extenuating circumstances, so you won’t have to retake the admission test for Cambridge. You will only need to redo your sculpture and the interview with the new Lord Chancellor. But you’d be looking at a September start date if you’re accepted.”
Great. Everything has gone to hell. And I don’t have any good feelings about this but at least it’s a spark of hope. The last thing I want to do is burn the bridge to Cambridge and my future chances—if I have any—of working with Christian Degas.
“Thank you. I appreciate it.”
“As for Kade Gurkovsky, I’m also placing you on compensation service for the rest of the school year.”
Compensation service? I’ve never heard of that before. “What does that mean?”
“You will assist him in whatever he needs and be available to him whenever he needs you.”
The air whooshes out of my lungs and I blink several times. “Like a servant?” Or a prisoner.
“Call it whatever you wish. Kade Gurkovsky is a member of my elite group, so while he let you off the hook for whatever reason, I won’t stand for what you did. Be grateful I haven’t decided on a much worse punishment for you. You’re only saved because your actions didn’t cause more damage, but they could have. Am I understood?”
“Yes, my lord.”
Jesus. This isn’t happening. So much for dealing with my bully myself.
Kade knew this would happen. That’s why he said I fell into his trap.
I did.
Now he really owns me.
I make my way back to my apartment feeling like hell. People glance at me as I walk by and whispers ripple all around me.
I ignore everything. Everything that’s happening outside Kade and me is the least of my worries.
I’m screwed.
Totally fucked over. And there’s nothing I can do about it. The last thing Alexander gave me before he dismissed me from his office were instructions to be at Kade’s apartment for six p.m. sharp on Wednesday. I have a day to sort my schedule out to make room for whatever Kade needs me to do.
On Friday I was thinking about how much free time I had on my hands. Now I wonder what my life will be like.
Kade will make my every waking hour a living nightmare. And I’m not going to Cambridge.
Tears pull at the back of my eyes.
I just can’t believe it.
When I reach my apartment I find Mackenzie and Annika outside my door waiting for me. They hold a bag each from the bakery we love.
“Hey, there.” Annika gives me a cautious smile.
“Hi.”
“We brought cake.” Mackenzie grins, lifting her bag slightly.
“Thanks. I need all the help I can get right now.”
They both give me a hug, but Mackenzie holds on to me a little longer.
“I know you got in trouble but I was so proud of you. What you did was so badass boss bitch.” She giggles.
“It was,” Annika agrees, her cheeks tinting a guilty shade of pink.
“Yeah, but I got in trouble. Now I feel like I’m on death row.”
They exchange worried glances.
“What’s the damage?” Annika asks.
“Please don’t tell me you got expelled,” Mackenzie blurts, nearly dropping her bag.
“No but I’m not exactly off the hook. I had to see Aleksander and he put me on probation.”
The two gasp and go pale. There’s more to tell them. Actually it’s time to tell them everything. Not just about what happened today.
Everything from going to Cambridge—or rather not going—and Kade.
“Let’s go inside. I have a lot to tell you.”
“Of course.”
We head into my apartment and they sit on the sofa while I grab one of my fluffy bean bags. When I get worked up like this I like being closer to the ground.
It was something I learned when camping with my dad.
Dad…
Aleksander is going to contact him. Dad is going to be furious when he hears what I did.
My shoulders slump and I breathe out a haggard sigh, sounding like a person who’s been pushed into a corner with their back against the wall and can’t escape.
“Isabelle, are you okay?” Annika asks, seeing that I’m far from it.
“No. I haven’t been okay in a long time.” I follow my answer up with the rest of the story.
I speak for close to an hour, telling them everything, watching their faces go from shocked to sad, then witnessing them react to my news.
They both take the news that I was planning to leave Raventhorn in six weeks hard.
I thought Annika would be worse than Mackenzie because we became friends the first week of college and have stuck together like glue since, but Mackenzie looks like she just lost an arm. I guess I thought that because she has such a huge personality she’d be enough for herself.
“Why did you keep this to yourself?” Annika asks. “All of it, but especially Cambridge. You were going to leave?”
I shake my head and my nervous fingers grip the fluffy fibers of the beanbag. Now that everything has gone to hell my reasons for keeping everything secret don’t seem so valid anymore. “I think I know now that I was running away.”
“Because of Kade,” Mackenzie fills in.
“I guess so.” I hate the admission and immediately want to take it back. “Things were bad with him but then they got worse and worse. When the opportunity to go to Cambridge came up I took it. It felt right. I had the chance to study under an artist I've idolized forever, and it gave me a legit chance to escape without feeling like I was leaving because someone was making me feel threatened. Damn, I sound weak, right?”
“Not at all. I don’t think it’s unreasonable for you to want to leave somewhere you don’t feel safe.”
“Neither do I,” Annika agrees. “I don’t care how established or good the college is. I wouldn’t want to stay here if I didn’t feel safe. You know what I’ve been through, so I completely understand.”
No one understands the need to feel safe more than Annika. She lived the last ten years of her life under a secret identity. She was also supposed to be dead. Her mother was protecting her after her father was accused of mass murdering a group of people, including Thorne’s family.
She came here under the guise of someone else and until the truth was revealed and her father exonerated she wasn’t safe.
“I just wish you’d told us,” Mackenzie says, leaning forward so her elbows are resting on her knees.
“I’m sorry. I didn’t mean to make it seem like I didn’t trust you. I guess I just didn’t want anyone telling me to stay and fight. I was tired of everything. I still am.” I let my gaze drop to the diamond-shaped pattern on the carpet and stare until everything blurs. “My exhaustion started back in high school. And even before that, when I lost my mom.”
“I get it.” The sympathy in Mackenzie’s voice pulls on my heart and I meet her gaze again.
“I feel terrible for not being around.” Annika brings her hands up to her cheeks. “Sometimes I’m so wrapped up in Thorne I forget what day it is. It’s crazy to be like that. I end up missing out on things like this and friends who need me.”
“No, please. Don’t you dare say that.” I smile at her. “You and Thorne are in love and into each other. You both deserve happiness. I wouldn’t want you two any other way.”
“You’re the vision of the love we all want for ourselves.” Mackenzie leans into Annika and smiles.
“Thanks guys.” Annika blushes. “But back to you, Isabelle. What are you going to do? Do you still want to apply to Cambridge?”
“Yes. Even if I don’t get into next year’s program I still need to do everything I’m supposed to. I think it would be good to lay the foundation for years to come after I graduate. I want to work with Christian Degas. That part has never changed.”
They both nod.
“Are you going to tell the other girls? You know Eilish will be worried. Sawyer and Savannah are off on one of their rendezvous so they don’t even know what happened today. I think they’re dating the same guy.” She looks heavenward, showing that even she thinks the idea is ridiculous. “And the poor fool can’t tell them apart. Of course they have no interest in him, but you know them. Everything is a game.”
I giggle, my face feeling grateful that I turned my frown upside down. “The twins have never been boring. You have to give them credit for that.”
“I guess so.”
“I’ll speak to the twins and Eilish this week. I have to see Eilish every week anyway as part of my probation. I’m guessing she might already know what’s going on with me but I’ll still talk to her about it.”
“Do you think you’ll be able to finish another sculpture that will get you in?” Annika looks concerned.
“We’ll see.” I sound doubtful because I am.
“I’ll miss you like crazy but I pray you get in.” Mackenzie clasps her hands like she’s really praying. “We didn’t really get close until the last two or so years, but nobody deserves that scholarship more than you. So let me know what I can do to help. Even if all I can do is provide cupcakes and wild fun.”
The three of us laugh.
“Thank you.” I make a heart with my fingers and hold it up. “Things will work out for you, too.”
“I’m still a work in progress.” She pouts. “But I’m working on it.”
“What about Kade?” Annika straightens and her face takes on the hardness of a statue.
“I guess I have to be his servant.” The craziness hasn’t sunk into my mind yet. Every time I think about what that scenario might look like, my soul wants to run far away.
Kade is the only person on this planet who infuriates me just as much as he confuses and mystifies me.
I know I’m a virgin and don’t understand men but I understand logic. Everything about Kade Gurkovsky defies logic and all the general rules people live by in society.
How can someone look at you with such dark hatred and in the same moment be turned on by you?
Then there’s me.
What do I have to say for myself if I’m still attracted to him and turned on by him?
I wouldn’t dare tell anyone that even though I think Mackenzie knows. She saw us at the football stadium. She saw that I nearly kissed him.
I know she hasn’t mentioned it because she’s waiting for me to talk about it.
Aside from that craziness there’s this thing I supposedly did to Kade, and I still can’t figure it out.
“I just wish I knew what the fuck I did to him.”
“Whatever it is must have happened well before college,” Mackenzie fills in. “He was an asshole but he was never an asshole to you until we got here.”
“Yeah. He never spoke to me, but he never went after me like this. I don’t know what the hell it is.”
“I don’t think it’s fair for you to worry yourself about it if he won’t tell you,” Annika says. “If you don’t know what this thing is now, you won’t know until he tells you.”
“I think so, too.” Mackenzie nods. “Kade is known for his mind games.”
“Tell me about it." I roll my eyes. “I have to just ride out the punishment.”
“I know you torched his bike, but he wasn’t punished for what he did.” Annika fumes. “Destroying your sculpture and messing with you with his friends can’t just go unpunished.”
“You’d be surprised,” Mackenzie cuts in. “Those guys get away with everything because of who they are. It’s disappointing but not surprising.”
As she speaks I sense something more to her words. Like she’s not just talking about Kade.
When I told her about the incident with him and his friends her face changed at the mention of Dmitri’s name. She usually does a good job of schooling her expression, but not so much when it comes to him.
Something happened between their families years ago. Something bad enough to create a feud. No one ever knew what it was, but I think it had something to do with the death of Dmitri’s older brother. I wasn’t close enough to Mackenzie back then to ask.
It all happened a year or so after I lost Mom, so we would have been fourteen.
She and Dmitri were friends, and then they weren’t, ever again. Now they act like they don’t even know each other, but I catch him watching her sometimes.
She watches him, too, although she’d never admit to that.
“With no evidence I have nothing.” I sigh.
“Be careful, Isabelle. Be very careful.” Mackenzie reaches over and takes my hand. “Kade is no ordinary guy. At the first sign of trouble get help. Call us. Report him. Do something. Do anything but don’t do nothing.”
I nod in agreement but it’s only to assure her so that she doesn’t worry about me.
Her advice sounds so simple but like she said, Kade is no ordinary guy.
If he can do all this shit to me, he’s not going to allow me to run for help and cry wolf.
He’d eat me alive before I could think of escaping him.
I have to stay focused.
My mother didn’t sacrifice herself to save me only to have some guy mess up my future.
So I can’t allow him to destroy me.